serious advice needed for another complicated relationship
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Devil's advice of taking you out of the picture is sensible - seriously speaking, you can do nothing more than what you had already did. There is a limit on what you can help and what you can't. (Listening ears, etc). You probably don't have the heart/tact to send firm message across and making him think. He probably have to get himself here and look at topic and go through all the posts, because solutions CANNOT BE SPOONFED to him; if he wants to solve it, he do it and not fear this, fear that and put it aside:
This is what is needed to be done - if he has to have something to tell him what to do.'G needs to learn to be a man and talk to them like a man towards his women and learn to stop avoiding and putting problems aside. He has been doing for so many years, is he still going to do that? Trust me, with a good talk (essentially for their own good), and a conclusion for their plight, he has to uphold the decision and cannot do it half-heartedly. He has to leave the two woman because none of them will be willing to see themselves losing to the other party. His talk must be firm, taking lead, instead of letting circumstance lead him (that's what he always do) and must not fear that they will attempt sucide because this talk is essentially a speech to clarify and present the issue on the table and solve it like a mature love.
Is he ready to leave them to pursue their next phrase of life?
He has to reflect and ponder about the rational of his love definition. He has to cease contact with them for min one year and must cease doing 'things' that will indirectly create phantasmal feelings for him. (sweet SMS, cards, emails, etc).'
Cheers -
Originally posted by Qoo`~`:
REMEMBER. You CANNOT really help 3 people who REFUSE to detour their destiny and decisions. Where they're heading, is their 'INTENTIONS'.
1st point I wanna make. Whatever's the outcome, it's TIME you step out of this... i can't... me promise to help the 3 parties
Promise or no promise, there's a LIMIT to the way in which you can help. 3 people who REFUSE to help themselves. Solutions are THERE, they simply REFUSE to pick them up. The MAIN problem doesn't lie with the triangular relationship... The MAIN issue now is that they've refuse to carry out solutions. Like I've said, you're a 4th party. You can't carry out anything for them as you're not directly involved. You CAN'T change the destiny of 3 people who refuse to have them changed. Your INVOLVEMENT in the picture would not help much more up to this stage of advancement UNLESS they're willing to initiate the CHANGES. Otherwise, you're either just quite RELUCTANT in the picture, wasting energy or WORSE.. You can get yourself in trouble in time to come... That WON'T make matters any better.. Only probably WORSE....
1. It's easier to persuade one out of the relationship. [b]hard to persuade anyone of them. I TRIED
Then it's her LOSS. She's no longer a kid. 27? When a person INSIST on her destiny like this, there's little you can do. Some people rather take the chance with fate and risk being badly hurt than to give it up. She's probably one of them? Won't give up until she sees it for herself... Might not even regret even if it has happened too? It's HER Life... Do you think you have more of a SAY?
A is very stubborn,i told her something like that before, but she say she is willingly to wwait for G to change
''' i beleive she willlor, coz she waited for him during poly days to break up with his first gf.
Things ain't gonna be the same as before. She like it or not. But SINCE it's HER DECISION... Guess you'll just have to respect that?
Regards. -
I agree.. u cant help a person who refuse to accept and make decisions.. much less to say 3...Originally posted by Devil1976:REMEMBER. You CANNOT really help 3 people who REFUSE to detour their destiny and decisions. Where they're heading, is their 'INTENTIONS'.
Regards.
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I say to G, leave them both. I doubt these girls will actually kill themsleves. They both have para-suicidal tendecies. If they really love G they should let him go.. and if G really loves them, he should let both of them go and just be a man for christ's sake.
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Simple solution: A should leave G. Period. There's lotsa guys out there for A.
Lotsa girls tend to want to stick to one guy voz they have not met better ones. Sometimes I think all girls should just abolish the 'stick to one guy becoz I love him attitude' when in a relationship is on the rocks.
Someone just needs to tell A to move on.. the world is a big place and with tons of better guys than G.
Then leave G & B to their fate. -
hhmmmzzz....B complain to me recently that G is avoiding her... i dunno if thats what G wans and if that's his real intention... all i know is that B is terribly upset... i think im getting emotional which i shldnt be as im suppose to help them solve..so i guess im in no position to help them too..maybe all i can do is to lend a listening ear? `
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Qoo`~` if G starts to avoid B maybe that's his decision...
What you can do is maybe spend sometime with B, bring her to meet more ppl... and slowly get over G. -
maybe u can use this opportunity to spend more time with B and help her out of that whirlpool...Originally posted by Qoo`~`:hhmmmzzz....B complain to me recently that G is avoiding her... i dunno if thats what G wans and if that's his real intention... all i know is that B is terribly upset... i think im getting emotional which i shldnt be as im suppose to help them solve..so i guess im in no position to help them too..maybe all i can do is to lend a listening ear? `