Just feel like writing it down...
-
To whoever reads this,
I just feel like writing down a problem that I have been having for the past few months..sometimes it makes me feel better to be able to tell someone about it..but it's a complicated thing and I have decided to just write it down here and remain anonymous..at least it makes me feel better...I hope...
I have been madly in love with this girl for almost 3 to 4 years..It may seem long or it may not..I don't really know...anyway when I first went after her..she rejected me cos she said we were still too young..we then went on each of our ways...and 2 years have passed since then..she went on and have a boyfriend that she's (i presume) madly in love with..I have my own girlfriend too during those years..but I came to realised that I do not love my girlfriend at all..maybe my girlfriend came to me at a time when I felt weak and lost (I feel bad to her too..and I did apologise)...during the years when I was with my girlfriend I kept thinking back to the girl that I am madly in love with...
Anyway, recently I came back from my studies abroad for a 3 months holidays..I never thought these holidays would be any different..but somehow..lotsa things happen...I met up with the girl that I was madly in love with again...we chatted about old times and all..and she told me she was going through a rough patch with her boyfriend...we then started going out until our relationship got better until we came to the stage where most bf/gf would normally do..at that time I did not think if she was sincere in her feelings or not...what will you do if the girl you dream of almost everyday come to be the girl that you can hold in your arms...that's why I wasn't thinking much and was just in my on cloud 9..during our times together she completely ignore her bf's calls and stuff..from what I saw anyway...
Unfortunately, things didn't go my way again...I kept trying to spend more time with her because I will be going back abroad for my studies again..but she felt that I am pressuring her..all of a sudden..things became to get bad...she somehow got back on good terms with her bf and I was left all alone again...I felt so lost..so stupid..I really didn't know what to do...after that I just tried my best to win her back..I told her that it doesn't matter how long it takes..I would still try my best..and she told me that it would be best for us to just remain friends...this was the girl who told me she loved me just weeks ago..I feel so crushed and crumpled as if life has no meaning to me anymore..we just continued to contact each other ..but there is this gap between us now..everytime when I feel that all seems lost and I should just get on with my life...and then her voice that I hear on the phone makes everything that I am going through now seems worth it...I would do anything in this world for her..as long as she just ask...I really don't know what i did wrong..before I left for my studies..I told her everything that I felt..but she decided to just pretend that nothing is wrong...now we are still keeping contact...she keeps telling me she's so excited about seeing her BF whom is coming back soon from overseas too...
I am hurting so much everyday...I think of her every second of my life...when I wake up in the morning she's the first thing on my mind..and when I sleep at night..she's always the last thing on my mind...I am going so crazy..I just feel like giving up..but how can you give up something which you would lay down your life for...*sighs* What should I do or what can I do..? I am so lost....
I may have left of bits of stories but I guess that's all I feel like writing today...I hope that if somehow one of you out there knows me..I beg you to keep it secret..if somehow she finds out that I wrote this..maybe I can't even be friends with her again..I don't know..she seems to want to forget about all those moments that I had with her..I really don't know... -
She give me the impression that she is cheating your feeling.
From what you say, she kinda drifted from her bf. So she gets near you.
Either she is very lonely, need someone as a substitute
Or, she realli have feelings for you.
If it's the latter case, den it's fine. But i have this feeling she is having the first example.
Sorry for being rude, but if that's the case, i dont see the need of you staying for her anymore. If she is prepared to go back to her bf's side again after she said she love you, isnt it like betraying your love?
I know how it feels to like a person so much that you can prepared to sacrifice everything for her. But.. is she worth your sacrifice?
-
I used to think that me and her seems to be quite impossible for us to be together but when I was with her she told me that nothing is impossible..so I kept clinging to that little ray of hope that I can one day be with her once again..she never did gave me a second chance to make up for what something that she think I did wrong..but I told her that I am not the kind of person who would not give her space..all I wanted was to spend my last few weeks with her..just the two of us..I mean what's wrong with that anyway...her boyfriend didn't treat her all that well and she gave him chance after chance...
After all that happen I did think that she might have cheated my feelings but I confronted her and she said she was very happy being with me throughout our few months..but now she told me that it's better we remain just as friends...I am almost going out of my mind..I can't seem to concentrate on anything anymore..everybody I placed my eyes upon I can only see her eyes in each and every one of them..I am still calling her everyday and each day I feel like just letting all of this go...but her voice just seems to make everything seems so bearable...=(
I am really at the stage where I do not know what I should do anymore..I have never been so helplessly in love before...*sighz* -
hey man... i got one solution for you. Let it go and let time do the job. Time n time u will still feel depress when u think of her(/me thinks of some girls *haiiiiii*) but channel ur sad enery to sth else
. keep urself bz n keep reminding to urself shes not worth it -
cheer up is all i can say..
theres nothing you can do..
one cannot order love..
i am sure you wanna see her happy...
n i am sure she doesn't want you to be so depressed over her.. -
its no wrong to fall for her in the beginning, for love is an unconscious act - it just happens. In the begining, you story is just the early plot for the real action and effect to take root later.Originally posted by GOiN^CrAzY^SooN:To whoever reads this,
I just feel like writing down a problem that I have been having for the past few months..sometimes it makes me feel better to be able to tell someone about it..but it's a complicated thing and I have decided to just write it down here and remain anonymous..at least it makes me feel better...I hope...
I have been madly in love with this girl for almost 3 to 4 years..It may seem long or it may not..I don't really know...anyway when I first went after her..she rejected me cos she said we were still too young..we then went on each of our ways...and 2 years have passed since then..she went on and have a boyfriend that she's (i presume) madly in love with..I have my own girlfriend too during those years..but I came to realised that I do not love my girlfriend at all..maybe my girlfriend came to me at a time when I felt weak and lost (I feel bad to her too..and I did apologise)...during the years when I was with my girlfriend I kept thinking back to the girl that I am madly in love with...
Anyway, recently I came back from my studies abroad for a 3 months holidays..I never thought these holidays would be any different..but somehow..lotsa things happen...I met up with the girl that I was madly in love with again...we chatted about old times and all..and she told me she was going through a rough patch with her boyfriend...we then started going out until our relationship got better until we came to the stage where most bf/gf would normally do..at that time I did not think if she was sincere in her feelings or not...what will you do if the girl you dream of almost everyday come to be the girl that you can hold in your arms...that's why I wasn't thinking much and was just in my on cloud 9..during our times together she completely ignore her bf's calls and stuff..from what I saw anyway...
Unfortunately, things didn't go my way again...I kept trying to spend more time with her because I will be going back abroad for my studies again..but she felt that I am pressuring her..all of a sudden..things became to get bad...she somehow got back on good terms with her bf and I was left all alone again...I felt so lost..so stupid..I really didn't know what to do...after that I just tried my best to win her back..I told her that it doesn't matter how long it takes..I would still try my best..and she told me that it would be best for us to just remain friends...this was the girl who told me she loved me just weeks ago..I feel so crushed and crumpled as if life has no meaning to me anymore..we just continued to contact each other ..but there is this gap between us now..everytime when I feel that all seems lost and I should just get on with my life...and then her voice that I hear on the phone makes everything that I am going through now seems worth it...I would do anything in this world for her..as long as she just ask...I really don't know what i did wrong..before I left for my studies..I told her everything that I felt..but she decided to just pretend that nothing is wrong...now we are still keeping contact...she keeps telling me she's so excited about seeing her BF whom is coming back soon from overseas too...
I am hurting so much everyday...I think of her every second of my life...when I wake up in the morning she's the first thing on my mind..and when I sleep at night..she's always the last thing on my mind...I am going so crazy..I just feel like giving up..but how can you give up something which you would lay down your life for...*sighs* What should I do or what can I do..? I am so lost....
I may have left of bits of stories but I guess that's all I feel like writing today...I hope that if somehow one of you out there knows me..I beg you to keep it secret..if somehow she finds out that I wrote this..maybe I can't even be friends with her again..I don't know..she seems to want to forget about all those moments that I had with her..I really don't know...
You are there for her during the second phrase you both met; for you are a temporary source of shelter towards her problematic relationship. This is definitely not love. Her claims is not accurately rational and stability emotions basis - rather its during her confusions stage.
When you are there for someone you love and care (be it whether gf/bf or a good friend) - is there a need to expect anything in return? When you have been there for her and because you care - you should do it in good faith, because volunteering is self-sacrificial and not commercialized for returns.
Yes, I understand you her words truely led you on; she mentioned that she loved you. Well, all I can say is she made her ultimate decision and its her bf, in the first place, what status and position do you have to compete with him? Even if there is no consideration made, chances are, she will go back to him. Understand that you will be going aboard to study, your stay here is merely a holiday - LDR is a nono as well.
P.S: Well, at least you had your beautiful moments with the lady you loved alot, but do not have the fortune to be with her - there are lots of people out there who don't even have half of your luck. If you had a choice - would you rather to undergo a beautiful dream and learn about the bitter truth, or never to experience anything and continue life as normal, like a calm wave?
Cheers -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Totally agree on this! Haiz.
P.S: Well, at least you had your beautiful moments with the lady you loved alot, but do not have the fortune to be with her - there are lots of people out there who [b]don't even have half of your luck. If you had a choice - would you rather to undergo a beautiful dream and learn about the bitter truth, or never to experience anything and continue life as normal, like a calm wave?
Cheers [/b]
Anyway, bro, I don't think she is meant to be yours, letting go maybe a better choice. -
To all of you above,
What can I say? What you all say makes so much sense and is nothing but the bitter truth in all its glory...
yunhaier, you have worded it so true I have no arguments to present but to resign myself to the facts of life...yes indeed...I might have been selfish in my own ways...To love someone and not expect anything in return...why haven't I thought of that before? Maybe I was too caught up in the special moments that I had...
To tell you the truth, I have never ever in my 4 years expected us to get so close like we did...that's why when I was presented with the chance to be with the one person I truly love...maybe I was blinded by my own love for her....*sighs*
Still..writing things like this and saying them is so much easier than actually doing it..do you really think I have never tried ways and ways to forget all the feelings that I have for her..? I am doing a medical related course and it is a busy course in itself..but let me tell you something...have you ever had one moment when you are so caught up in your work...so busy doing your projects and stuff...when that little quiet moment suddenly presents itself..you're sitting on your desk..reading your notes..worrying about the work load ...and then your mind goes blank and you think of nothing but that one special person in your heart...how much it hurts..I really can't explain in words...maybe some of you out there know how it feels...
Time, you say? Does time really make one forget the one special person in their hearts? I tried..I really did tried...but when you love someone as much as I do (I'm not saying you did not)...trust me...it's easier said than done...
I really am very happy to see how happy she is whenever she tells me about her happy moments she had with her bf...but at the same time..I can't help but feel the pain inside...how can you even feel both happiness and sadness at the same time...? *Sighs* =(
"Sorry, I don't take love so lightly,
sorry, I can't say let's just be friends;
I apologize to you politely, but true love just never ends." -
hey bro , honestly speaking from my own experience similar to yours it took me 3 years to really forget about it and till now the hurt has not gone away, but i managed to put it aside somewhere in my heart n moved on. Trust me as long as you do not see her often, you will eventually forget. dun remind urself of her by seeing photos n stuff , eventually your thoughts of her wll go away too. People are like buildings, once the building is demolished , people tend to forget it ever existed. Hope you get what i mean.
-
Something on love..Originally posted by SoonKeong:She give me the impression that she is cheating your feeling.
From what you say, she kinda drifted from her bf. So she gets near you.
Either she is very lonely, need someone as a substitute
Or, she realli have feelings for you.
If it's the latter case, den it's fine. But i have this feeling she is having the first example.
Sorry for being rude, but if that's the case, i dont see the need of you staying for her anymore. If she is prepared to go back to her bf's side again after she said she love you, isnt it like betraying your love?
I know how it feels to like a person so much that you can prepared to sacrifice everything for her. But.. is she worth your sacrifice?
Love is the most unselfish thing cos u are willing to do anything for dat special someone....whether or not its reciprocated..
At the same time..love is also the most selfish thing cos the sacrifice you make is oni for dat special someone... -
Why must you focus your good memories into complete forgetting when in actual fact if your nature was generous enough, you could retain it as sweet memories?Originally posted by GOiN^CrAzY^SooN:To all of you above,
What can I say? What you all say makes so much sense and is nothing but the bitter truth in all its glory...
yunhaier, you have worded it so true I have no arguments to present but to resign myself to the facts of life...yes indeed...I might have been selfish in my own ways...To love someone and not expect anything in return...why haven't I thought of that before? Maybe I was too caught up in the special moments that I had...
To tell you the truth, I have never ever in my 4 years expected us to get so close like we did...that's why when I was presented with the chance to be with the one person I truly love...maybe I was blinded by my own love for her....*sighs*
Still..writing things like this and saying them is so much easier than actually doing it..do you really think I have never tried ways and ways to forget all the feelings that I have for her..? I am doing a medical related course and it is a busy course in itself..but let me tell you something...have you ever had one moment when you are so caught up in your work...so busy doing your projects and stuff...when that little quiet moment suddenly presents itself..you're sitting on your desk..reading your notes..worrying about the work load ...and then your mind goes blank and you think of nothing but that one special person in your heart...how much it hurts..I really can't explain in words...maybe some of you out there know how it feels...
Time, you say? Does time really make one forget the one special person in their hearts? I tried..I really did tried...but when you love someone as much as I do (I'm not saying you did not)...trust me...it's easier said than done...
I really am very happy to see how happy she is whenever she tells me about her happy moments she had with her bf...but at the same time..I can't help but feel the pain inside...how can you even feel both happiness and sadness at the same time...? *Sighs* =(
"Sorry, I don't take love so lightly,
sorry, I can't say let's just be friends;
I apologize to you politely, but true love just never ends."I have never ever in my 4 years expected us to get so close like we did....
You said this yourself - so do you think the experience is worth forgetting? If you wanna forget this person successfully, you have to forget every single incident that took place relating to her. Can you? Nope, you can't - then forget about trying.
P.S: There is no such thing as 'love too much cannot be friends' - its between keeping on open mind with generous nature, or narrow mind with superficial love. You will be fine alright? I wish you well.
Cheers -
can understand the feeling...there are times when u miss someone so hopelessly dat its hard to concentrate on anything else...and its perfectly normal..but important thing is dat u must know how to handle ur emotions...I dun think the ger will leave her bf for you...or at least not now...its a fact and as much as you can do for her, care for her..the fact is not going to change..she is not gg to be with you..the earlier u accept this fact the better...its like an emotional roller-coaster....if u cannot keep up with it..drop of the next stop.....its for your own good..Originally posted by GOiN^CrAzY^SooN:I used to think that me and her seems to be quite impossible for us to be together but when I was with her she told me that nothing is impossible..so I kept clinging to that little ray of hope that I can one day be with her once again..she never did gave me a second chance to make up for what something that she think I did wrong..but I told her that I am not the kind of person who would not give her space..all I wanted was to spend my last few weeks with her..just the two of us..I mean what's wrong with that anyway...her boyfriend didn't treat her all that well and she gave him chance after chance...
After all that happen I did think that she might have cheated my feelings but I confronted her and she said she was very happy being with me throughout our few months..but now she told me that it's better we remain just as friends...I am almost going out of my mind..I can't seem to concentrate on anything anymore..everybody I placed my eyes upon I can only see her eyes in each and every one of them..I am still calling her everyday and each day I feel like just letting all of this go...but her voice just seems to make everything seems so bearable...=(
I am really at the stage where I do not know what I should do anymore..I have never been so helplessly in love before...*sighz* -
I think the ger may have her reasons..and this could have happened with any gers....so sometimes I think they must also have their reasons and worries...Originally posted by parkour:hey man... i got one solution for you. Let it go and let time do the job. Time n time u will still feel depress when u think of her(/me thinks of some girls *haiiiiii*) but channel ur sad enery to sth else
. keep urself bz n keep reminding to urself shes not worth it -
To GOiN^CrAzY^SooN,
I would say I have to agree with Yun on a large part for this one... In fact, I think his interpretation is quite well-written... Except for some smaller parts which I couldn't yet be so sure to agree upon...
Anyway, I feel that you're still very much 'trapped' within yourself? Hereby, I would just like to add a few words... Very much of it would be just a 'guess' from my own point of view... They don't necessarily have to reflect the truth and reality....
It occurs to me that your love for her is SO DEEP that it's almost UNBEARABLE to put yourself only as a friend to her... On the other hand, it seems that she's suggesting just that... As a person if her love for you is as deep... She probably won't be able to bring upon such a decision too... Then again, she MIGHT? Depending on her character...? Though I must say chances are quite unlikely... And your simply refusing to give up on this love... SHE - what you've always wanted... Makes me think... What she THINKS of you? And the fact that she've got a relationship... You don't... Her continuation of a 'more than friends' relatoinship would risk her own relationship with her current bf... You've got nothing to put to risk if you just go after her... (Well... At least not in a direct concrete sense...?)
Quarrels among couples... Not unusual now... Are they? Because the problem(s) she was facing with her bf... Because of the things you've told her... About how you feel for her.... You've either or indirectly offered yourself as a 'choice'. A 'choice' in which she probably thought in fulfilling it, would satisfy BOTH of you... At least for that moment...?
Question. If given a CHOICE, would you rather she gave you a chance and have a taste of how it's like to be with her (like what she did) OR you rather remain a DISTANT 'alien' to her for the rest of your life?
Admittedly, at this point I do not know nothing about the character of this girl of yours. Whatever's the actual reason she 'let you in' during that period of time can be VAST... POSSIBILITY of Reason vs Character puts it on HIGH CHANCE under appropriate conditions...
Whatever happened had happened... Whatever she did... Whatever she wish you could understand and forget.... It's time to move on... From my point of view, you've probably be considered quite a 'lucky' man...? Well... But of course, you can make it a miserable turn out if you want to...?
-
To all of you (and I thank you for your replies for although we are strangers you took time to pen down a few words),
I have been thinking a lot for the past few days on what I should or should not do...Yes..Unfortunately I have to agree on what most of you have written down..as Devil1976 has said..I too agree with what Yun has said...I might have been too caught up in myself to actually think of the right and wrong of my feelings...and that those times I had with her could have been sweeter memories box-ed up somewhere within my heart...
I know what most of you are thinking of telling me...things like moving on...well I've done that once...and I did think that I would be able to do it again...To tell you the truth, I was almost as hurt as I am now when I lost my first love...during a six month period after my break-up with my first...I cried almost every week (Think of me as weak, if you like) but then I came to meet this girl that I am talking about...I never did thought anybody could have made me forget about my first...but she did...somehow...she made me realised that out there....there's someone as wonderful...maybe even more...she was the one that brought me out of the dark when I thought everything seems to be going wrong for me...
To me, I thought that forgetting her would be easy since we are so far apart and her bf will be coming back to her from overseas too...I thought of giving up and getting on with my life...I thought of remembering her as being a wonderful part of my life...I have thought of all that you have said...but somehow...there's that little part of me that doesn't want to give it all up...there's that little part of me that still wants to wait...I don't know for how long...but I did tell her that even if it takes a month, a year or maybe more...I wouldn't give it up so easily...
Yes, I know she might have somehow rushed into the relationship with me...and that she was having problems with her bf and somehow sought me out as a "substitute"...but I did too tell her that I do not want to hear her say she loves me unless she really means it...and she did...What I do not understand is how she is able to throw away everything that we have and not even give me a chance to make it up...but you see...I do not think I have done anything wrong...all I have ever wanted...all I have ever wished for is to just spend some time with her before I left...
Before I wrote this, I have again thought about really trying to get back on track with my life...and then she called...again, everything doesn't seem to matter anymore...all the hurt that I felt...all those night when I lay awake thinking about her...all that seems to feel so right...we started talking again...she told how excited she was that her bf is coming back...I am hurting...yes indeed...but I was happy she called...
I think I might have fallen...fallen too deep when I shouldn't have in the first place...I do feel pain and sorrow...but whenever "clips" of moments that we spent together sprung into my mind...I can't help but remember how sweet she looks in the white dress I bought for her...or how cute she eats her ice-cream...How can I ever bring myself to forget such wonderful moments of my life?
"You taught me how to love;
you taught me how to live;
you taught me how to laugh;
you taught me how to cry,
but when you left,
you forgot to teach me how to forget you." -
Before I wrote this, I have again thought about really trying to get back on track with my life...and then she called...again, everything doesn't seem to matter anymore...all the hurt that I felt...all those night when I lay awake thinking about her...all that seems to feel so right...we started talking again...she told how excited she was that her bf is coming back...I am hurting...yes indeed...but I was happy she called...
I think I might have fallen...fallen too deep when I shouldn't have in the first place...I do feel pain and sorrow...but whenever "clips" of moments that we spent together sprung into my mind...I can't help but remember how sweet she looks in the white dress I bought for her...or how cute she eats her ice-cream...How can I ever bring myself to forget such wonderful moments of my life?
Yesh those were indeed sweet moments....wonderful memories that will be forever etched somewhere in your heart....at the same time, the hurt and pain of knowing that her heart belongs to someone else is truly heart-breaking...I can truly feel your happiness and sadness all the same...I can only say that many have gone through wat you are going thru now....and have survived...I have experienced this myself and sometimes the pain is almost too much to bear...you will just have to find your own way to pull thru this period...for me...the pain somewhat still lingers on...but the memories will be forever with me... hope u be comforted somehow to know that there are many out there who truly can understand what you are going thru now...all the best... -
Loving a person dun necessary have to get her into yr life, but to see her living happily in her life. If u really do wants her to be with you, it means that u only wish to possess her, which deep down in yr heart, u know that u are being selfish. Life is just so complicated, coz we might not get want we want in life ultimately. Learning to let go and live a life full of achievements will be a wiser choice.
-
*sighs* If letting go was easy I would have done it ages ago...but unfortunately for me..it is not easy...to give up her...you might as well ask me to give up my life...I know it's childish saying things like that...but that's how I feel...
However, I have made up my mind already...I have decided to stop contacting her...I know this might be a stupid decision but I can't think of anyway else to really forget her..all these little contacts with her is making it harder to forget her...I don't know how many times I have thought about giving up and I always fail so bad...maybe tomorrow I will still be here...waiting once again...maybe I will really move on...I don't know...
"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see,
but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel." -
you still have gf rite
-
Originally posted by GOiN^CrAzY^SooN:
friend, isn't the above bold sentence that u typed one of the ways to let go also??
*sighs* If letting go was easy I would have done it ages ago...but unfortunately for me..it is not easy...to give up her...you might as well ask me to give up my life...I know it's childish saying things like that...but that's how I feel...
However, [b]I have made up my mind already...I have decided to stop contacting her...I know this might be a stupid decision but I can't think of anyway else to really forget her..all these little contacts with her is making it harder to forget her...I don't know how many times I have thought about giving up and I always fail so bad...maybe tomorrow I will still be here...waiting once again...maybe I will really move on...I don't know...
"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see,
but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."[/b] 
-
Its difficult to let go I can understand u are alradi so deep into it...contacting her less is definitely a way to slowly ease the pain...at the same time..go out and meet more pple....
a fren once told me...things are gg to be difficult if you are always the oni party putting in the effort....which is the case now....its realli time to let go slowly... -
Nobody said letting go is gonna be easy... Not for you, not for us... Not for the many out there..Originally posted by GOiN^CrAzY^SooN:*sighs* If letting go was easy I would have done it ages ago...but unfortunately for me..it is not easy...to give up her...you might as well ask me to give up my life...I know it's childish saying things like that...but that's how I feel...
However, I have made up my mind already...I have decided to stop contacting her...I know this might be a stupid decision but I can't think of anyway else to really forget her..all these little contacts with her is making it harder to forget her...I don't know how many times I have thought about giving up and I always fail so bad...maybe tomorrow I will still be here...waiting once again...maybe I will really move on...I don't know...
"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see,
but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."
No matter how beautiful a memory... You still stay in that partial fragment for the rest of your life... Life is a WHOLE. If you've just walked it there and STOP. It's not a love that amazing... It's just that you've frozen yourself to the spot... Indirectly, you're just DECEIVING yourself.... -
To raraninja: No, I do not have a gf at the moment...and I am not looking for one just because I want to have one...in case you misunderstood me...
To the rest,
Yes, I know letting go is never easy...It's just that however hard I try and manage to forget the feelings that I have...bit by bit the feelings creep in at the end of day...and in the end...I feel nothing but sorrow for knowing that I tried so hard and yet I still can't get her out of my mind...Do you know how it feels to be able to see her eyes in all the girls that you see out there..? Do you know how it feels to remember the first time the two of us held hands...the first time we hugged each other...the first time we kissed each other...the first time we looked deeply into each other eyes and whisper sweet nothingness..and now I know all these will be gone forever...and that I will not have the chance in my life to do the one thing that is most important for me...to be able to love her with all my heart...
Now..all I can only do is to love her from afar..Have you ever tried being happy while listening to her talk about stuff she's been doing with her bf...have you ever lend your ears to listen to the problems she had with her bf...have you ever tried so hard to not cry while she tells you about her holidays plans with her bf...So many times I have wanted to tell her that "I love you..I love you so much.." during our conversation and instead I kept quiet and just listen to her...to her voice..what can I do..? I feel so trapped by my feelings for her..everything that I could ever hope for was to see her happy...and yes, I do feel happy cos she is happy right now...but I am still here...still waiting right here...
I don't know if the words I have written down is contradicting any of those that I have wrote earlier...but what I feel is not easy to write down in words..but I have done my best anyway...
--------------------------------------
"When you leave, remember the place where you have left me.
If you go back and I'm not there, it doesn't mean I don't love you anymore,
I just love you so much that I've left to search for you." -
Haizz... wen shi jian qing wei he wu... zhi jiao ren sheng si xiang xu...
-
Haizz... wen shi jian qing wei he wu... zhi jiao ren sheng si xiang xu...