Bf doesn't want to let his friends know of my existence
-
i've been with my bf for 1yr7mths... recently he made some new friends(guys) whom he has been spending a lot of time with... thing is his friends doesn't even know he has a gf and he even go as far as to hide it with lies when he's buying things for me when out with his friends(eg:i'm buying this for my sis-in-law)... he's pretty nice to me and we spend a lot of time together(with me being at his place most of the time) but why is it that he doesn't want his new friends to know that he has a gf? 
-
Why are you asking us when you can be asking him? -
thats so mean...
-
the truth usually hurts. wat he said wasnt wrong. all answers to her questions here, will be jus speculations tt spurn wild tghts. nothing beats confronting her bf face to face.
-
i'm asking for opinions here... you don't have to reply when you can't answer... i'm a woman who has no idea how a man thinks... and if i could get an answer from him what are the chances that he's telling the truth?
i'm just seeking opinions from guys here okay?
-
Originally posted by Forever84:thats so mean... I hope you're not refering to me......
-
ever watch the 70's show?
the part where the guy admits he has feelings for this girl and immediately his friend rag on him?
i think he's afraid his friends will rag on him the same immature way...
sad thing is that all he has to do is to let them know that he's sweet on you and they'll stop after once.. and leave him be...
frankly, if the woman i love was still with me, i'm telling EVERYONE who wants to listen.. and a few who do not want to listen..Originally posted by Nanami:i'm asking for opinions here... you don't have to reply when you can't answer... i'm a woman who has no idea how a man thinks... and if i could get an answer from him what are the chances that he's telling the truth?
i'm just seeking opinions from guys here okay? -
maybe he is not ready to tell his friends yet lor... but i don c any reason y he has 2 hide this fate... for myself... i won hide it... cos it is nothing 2 b ashamed bout...Originally posted by Nanami: i've been with my bf for 1yr7mths... recently he made some new friends(guys) whom he has been spending a lot of time with... thing is his friends doesn't even know he has a gf and he even go as far as to hide it with lies when he's buying things for me when out with his friends(eg:i'm buying this for my sis-in-law)... he's pretty nice to me and we spend a lot of time together(with me being at his place most of the time) but why is it that he doesn't want his new friends to know that he has a gf? -
the bad...Originally posted by Nanami:i'm asking for opinions here... you don't have to reply when you can't answer... i'm a woman who has no idea how a man thinks... and if i could get an answer from him what are the chances that he's telling the truth?
i'm just seeking opinions from guys here okay?
1) he is embarassed about having u as a gf, thus denies yr existence
2) your boring, he's found new frens so he's trying to push u aside
3) his new frens know prettier gals n he wants to flirt w/o being seen as a 2-timer.
4) he doesnt want u to knw his frens n eventually tag along during outings.
5) he want to get close to a gal in the group n doesnt want yr existence to spoil his chances.
the good...
there is no good!
when u luv some1 u shd want to be with the person every minute of the day, no matter when, wher or with who... n shout out from the highest mountain the declaration of your love. if your partner begins to deny yr existence... the honeymoon period is over... -
Originally posted by skeujin:the bad...
1) he is embarassed about having u as a gf, thus denies yr existence
2) your boring, he's found new frens so he's trying to push u aside
3) his new frens know prettier gals n he wants to flirt w/o being seen as a 2-timer.
4) he doesnt want u to knw his frens n eventually tag along during outings.
5) he want to get close to a gal in the group n doesnt want yr existence to spoil his chances.
the good...
there is no good!
when u luv some1 u shd want to be with the person every minute of the day, no matter when, wher or with who... n shout out from the highest mountain the declaration of your love. if your partner begins to deny yr existence... the honeymoon period is over... Wah. Your points all negative one. -
Here are some positive points.
-His friends is those that see girls will turn into desperados and talk a lot one.
-Why can't it be like this......"Why is he not introducing his friends to you" instead of " WHy is he not introducing you to his friends?"
Hmmmmmmm......
You said new friends......
YOu know his `old friends?
1.5 years...... -
im a hopless romantic.Originally posted by Parka: Wah. Your points all negative one.
i belive in long walks on the beach under the moonlite while luking at the stars...
i belive that being in luv n being luved is the most wonderful thing u can ever experience while yr alive....
i belive tt if u luv some1. u wld want to be with tt person every minute of the day either he be by yr side or in your heart....
i belive tt true luv means u wld hold yr partner higher thn the ground u walk on to show every one yr proud n honoured to b with her....
sadly to say most of my exs did not have my same beliefs.... thus also making me a pessimist... -
lol .. ur guy does not have confident in himself .. as u said his friends are despo and will talk a lot about girls ..
My friends are something similar to this .. so I have this thinking in mind also ..
For me, I don't want them to say bad about my gf, or rather being "snatched" lol ...
so u have to put urself in his shoes sometimes ...
Not that he dun like u, sometimes guys thinking are wierd .. just accept it .. keke
I am not sure wad other think abt this ..
maybe it's not the reason also ...
or maybe u can ask him .. maybe he will tell u ..
-
lol ...
If despo friends of cos won't introduce ...
unless a bunch of decent friends
These friends of mine have been with me for 8 years ...
I think I also won't intro my gf to them if i have one ... because i know them well .. and wad they are thinking .. always tok abt indecent stuffs ...
so I ask myself do i want to intro my gf to these
people ...
In another words "let u know lesser people the better ?"
Different people have different thinking ...
u have to understand what he is thinking, ask him ... -
Originally posted by skeujin:im a hopless romantic.
i belive in long walks on the beach under the moonlite while luking at the stars...
i belive that being in luv n being luved is the most wonderful thing u can ever experience while yr alive....
i belive tt if u luv some1. u wld want to be with tt person every minute of the day either he be by yr side or in your heart....
i belive tt true luv means u wld hold yr partner higher thn the ground u walk on to show every one yr proud n honoured to b with her....
sadly to say most of my exs did not have my same beliefs.... thus also making me a pessimist... charm +5
skeujin level up! -
perhaps he is not ready to intro you to his new friends yet or maybe he is not ready to intro his friends to you... maybe he wants to be with his new friends for a while first, so that he get to know them better first, before asking you along when they are out... do you know any of his friends? i mean old friends... do they know of your existence? if yes, i think there shouldn't be any problem... since you've said that the new friends are all guys, right?
maybe you can try to talk to him and ask him about it... i think he'll let you know the reason, coz he told you that his new friends doesn't know of your existence... don't worry too much...
have trust in him, have faith in the relationship and be confident -
Originally posted by Nanami: i've been with my bf for 1yr7mths... recently he made some new friends(guys) whom he has been spending a lot of time with... thing is his friends doesn't even know he has a gf and he even go as far as to hide it with lies when he's buying things for me when out with his friends(eg:i'm buying this for my sis-in-law)... he's pretty nice to me and we spend a lot of time together(with me being at his place most of the time) but why is it that he doesn't want his new friends to know that he has a gf? 1 year 7 months is a reasonably long period of coupleship. Made new guy friends and doesn't want to let them know he has a gf. There could be two possibility.
I) There could be potential target together with the bunch of guys he recently knew. She, may/may not be in that group, but certainly her appearence is related to these new guys he just made friends with. To keep mum about the relationship because he may wished to know her better, without turning her off in the begining with 'I am attached' sign hung on him.
II) Possessive nature sets him a fear to allow guys to learn about the existence of his gf. In a way, he is 'protecting.', although it's psychologically unhealthy. He loves to company of the guys no doubt, his suspicious and easily jealous nature stems this behaviour.
Regardless of whatever reason it is, there is defintely more than meets the eye. I have 3 question for you:
I) Throughout this 1 year 7 month, do you think its love which kept you together or the feeling of being-too-used with each other? You agree with the former, latter, or simply dunno?
II) Any criticial problem occur in your relationship before? Any break/patch before?
III) Whats you and his astrological sign?
Cheers -
hi all, thanks for your replies... these new friends of his had been with him for only about a few months and these are the friends who don't know my existence... his old friends--those from his school days(ie:more than 10 years friendship, i've met them all and their girlfriends too)
i've asked him about his friends and it seems that this new group of friends consist of mainly 2 guys--A who's fairly decent and very alike in character with him he's the one who's more "ngam" with him, the other one B is more wild kind,go to those kind of la sup places that one he's not so "ngam" with...
the reason why they don't know was because when he just started to get close to them we were going through a rough patch (break up) for about a week and when we patched he felt it wasn't necessary for him to tell his friends... and the angry thing is that B actually tried to intro gals to him
but he didn't want... i asked him why since during that time we were supposed to have broken up... and he told me rather than start a relationship all over again he rather be alone and do the stuff he likes.... after we patched back things became much better... we no longer quarrelled that much and can say we're much happier that's a comfort there... 
he told me he felt their isn't a need to let his friends know because he don't know how to start telling them(he's a very shy guy) and also he's afraid they'll make fun of him
haiz given all those reason it still doesn't feel good being treated like a mistress like that -
My verdict:Originally posted by Nanami:hi all, thanks for your replies... these new friends of his had been with him for only about a few months and these are the friends who don't know my existence... his old friends--those from his school days(ie:more than 10 years friendship, i've met them all and their girlfriends too)
i've asked him about his friends and it seems that this new group of friends consist of mainly 2 guys--A who's fairly decent and very alike in character with him he's the one who's more "ngam" with him, the other one B is more wild kind,go to those kind of la sup places that one he's not so "ngam" with...
the reason why they don't know was because when he just started to get close to them we were going through a rough patch (break up) for about a week and when we patched he felt it wasn't necessary for him to tell his friends... and the angry thing is that B actually tried to intro gals to him but he didn't want... i asked him why since during that time we were supposed to have broken up... and he told me rather than start a relationship all over again he rather be alone and do the stuff he likes.... after we patched back things became much better... we no longer quarrelled that much and can say we're much happier that's a comfort there...
he told me he felt their isn't a need to let his friends know because he don't know how to start telling them(he's a very shy guy) and also he's afraid they'll make fun of him
haiz given all those reason it still doesn't feel good being treated like a mistress like that Give him benefit of the doubt.
Cheers -
You have to talk to him about it. If he does not want his friends to know that you are his girlfriend, then you can forget about the relationship. It's not fair to you and you will suffer in the end.
-
dump him ...
i see problems coming.. -
sorry for being too direct...
but usually if a guy behaves this way, it's either that he feels that u're not attractive enough be shown to his friends,
or
maybe there's some girl in the group of his friends which he's interested in...
it's also possible that he's afraid his friends will eye on u...but this is less likely to be the reason. -
TRUST is all i can say... Good Luck!
-
know of a guy also same pattern 1
his so call gan mei mei..suspected he got gf..den he like tell the gan mei mei no lah...he is attach and so is the ger..but in actual fact they are attach to 1 another...
he still cna make this into a joke and go tell another friend of his that his gan mei mei like tht suspect..
for me..i do feel affected if my bf dun wan to intro me to his friends...not say dun intro but like deny my existence at all loh...although i may feel that he dun have a need to go ard telling people that he got gf..but when people ask..he shd ans truefully loh -
nanami, the fact that you're still with this guy, really makes you pathetic!!