Bf doesn't want to let his friends know of my existence
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1)paiseh? 2)relationship stuff is between u n him.. dun see e nid to let sp many ppl noe 3)the worst.. he is ashame of u
sry.. dun think so.. i personally think its 2.. wanan let so many ppl noe for wad -
guess he is unsure about the relationship after the break up.... what caused the rough patch, reason why patched up and the resolution to what caused the rough patch? I think both of you have to talk through them if you want to treasure this relationship.Originally posted by Nanami:hi all, thanks for your replies... these new friends of his had been with him for only about a few months and these are the friends who don't know my existence... his old friends--those from his school days(ie:more than 10 years friendship, i've met them all and their girlfriends too)
i've asked him about his friends and it seems that this new group of friends consist of mainly 2 guys--A who's fairly decent and very alike in character with him he's the one who's more "ngam" with him, the other one B is more wild kind,go to those kind of la sup places that one he's not so "ngam" with...
the reason why they don't know was because when he just started to get close to them we were going through a rough patch (break up) for about a week and when we patched he felt it wasn't necessary for him to tell his friends... and the angry thing is that B actually tried to intro gals to him
but he didn't want... i asked him why since during that time we were supposed to have broken up... and he told me rather than start a relationship all over again he rather be alone and do the stuff he likes.... after we patched back things became much better... we no longer quarrelled that much and can say we're much happier that's a comfort there... 
he told me he felt their isn't a need to let his friends know because he don't know how to start telling them(he's a very shy guy) and also he's afraid they'll make fun of him
haiz given all those reason it still doesn't feel good being treated like a mistress like that
glad that you treasure the harmony and peace now but that does not mean compromising on clearing the doubts(if any) between couple.
I am a male and hey, I am shy till I can go unnoticed when giving class presentation or public speech. But I am never ashamed that friends or acquaintances would make fun of me when I introduce my gf. No offence really, but I find the answer abit blatant.
But still, pointing finger is not gona help at any point of time.
Wish both of you all the best in working out the relationship. -
Mine problem is same with you but is the opposite..... my gf doesnt want to let his friends know my existence.... somemore she keep spending time with her friends... and also we spend only a little together.....
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I don't like to speculate, but what I from not introducing your gf/bf to your friends, especially the r/s is over a year and the friends are your close buddies, it's really weird... It's not as if after a year the r/s is still not as stable. Then these are your buddies, if you don't tell them, then who would you tell?? Then there's the intro of girls to your bf.. it's a little suspicious to be ignore.
Of course, I'm not saying that he should tag you along wherever he go out with them, because sometimes, it's really annoying, as he's with the 'guys' club. However, if there's a group outing where there's girls and guys, it's not harm tagging along.. -
yeah that intro to gals thing is a concern but what i feel is that if he doesn't feel like telling ppl about it there's nothing i can do and nothing i will do because the decision is mainly up to him... i don't think he has any other gals to his liking out there but we spend a lot of time together(with me at his place all the time) his schedule is pretty fixed and roughly i know where he'll be at what time but still there's a chance right?
maybe if he really has someone out there that he's interested in, i'll get to know sooner or later and perhaps the happy thing by then is that i'll know the truth and also i'm not the one who cheated...
true it hurts to know that he prefers to keep me a secret and perhaps as a woman i find it hard to put complete trust in him all i could say is that i'm trying my best to take whatever decision he made... it may not be reasonable but i respect him and his decisions because love is not about changing a person but rather compromising and giving in...
thanks all for giving valuable advice... speculation may not be accurate but at least i have an insight at how a guy may think... thanks -
from what i gathered his new friends are mainly singles... the closest one to him is attached but also unstable as that fella feels that he's not suitable to be married and is thinking of breaking up with his galOriginally posted by Bear:I don't like to speculate, but what I from not introducing your gf/bf to your friends, especially the r/s is over a year and the friends are your close buddies, it's really weird... It's not as if after a year the r/s is still not as stable. Then these are your buddies, if you don't tell them, then who would you tell?? Then there's the intro of girls to your bf.. it's a little suspicious to be ignore.
Of course, I'm not saying that he should tag you along wherever he go out with them, because sometimes, it's really annoying, as he's with the 'guys' club. However, if there's a group outing where there's girls and guys, it's not harm tagging along..
what i feel is that with his friends being single he doesn't want to be the odd one out and like being left out or having his friends tell him to spend more time with his gf or that because of him having a gf they will delibrately cut down on their activities...
anyway that's the way i console myself lah
he told me he has a lot of things he wants to do and since he found someone that clicks he feels that it's the time to do it... he doesn't want to wait till he's old and discover that he has a lot stuff unaccomplished...
perhaps he's more suitable to a single's life and i'm just an extra baggage that he had for a while that he's now used to and can't bear to throw away... haiz -
don't see yourself that way... You're not an extra baggage or whatsoever, just that he probably got a new 'toy'. you know that kind of feeling... Well, I always feel that people should always have something fresh to show their partner from time to time to keep them entertained. It will just help to strengthen the relationship, for what you know something novel that you do may be one of his/her interests too, and thus both of you would find something more in common. It's really the quality of time that counts not the quantity. Rather than lock yourself up in his place, I would suggest that you pick up something new yourself. Then when both of you meet up together, you can talk about the things that you learn. A r/s is a mind game, to maintain the flow of the game, you have to keep the other party interested, and in some cases, in suspense. Then the person will have something to investigate and explore everytime..