how would u handle a sibling who...
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is like that...?
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Me: where were u yest and the day b4?
Sis: was at XXX's house playing mahjong, took MC.
Me: kns. sick can play mahjong n come back so late? can go out, cannot go work, geh sian. just dun understand how come u can dun home. don't family mean a thing to u? are frenz more impt?
Sis: i work 7 mths, took MC 2 times, i need to take a break, and i dun have to explain my actions to u! at least i didn't take MC like u did when u were working in COMP. yes, frenz are MORe impt and i am not as close knit to ma n pa as u.
*COMP is my prev IT company, deadlines, deadlines, n more deadlines.
Me: yah right! but DID U work like i did in COMP? and did u really work 7 mths? ask urself dat b4 u compare. how many times i was sick and i still have to drag myself to work n still have to see ur black face? u still get ur pay no matter how many actual hours u work! and u are the one not allowing us to get near u! is it fair?
Sis: It's becoz i work smart, not work hard. y shd i go home to a stoned house? where no one communicate? i'm just waiting till i'm 21, earn enuf $ to get my own apartment.
Me: in that case, u can continue working hard, me, the stupidly working hard one, wud like to inform u that i'll be working till the end of the wk.
ahem. yes... we ARE working together.
problem 1 : is family secondary to friends nowadays? is there any way to make them realise that frenz ARE the secondary ones?
problem 2 : how to deal with superiors who 'eat (a lot of) snake' and still think they really ARE working smart? i took the easiest but cowardly way out by quitting. -
will learn when she grow up........
she need to experience a hard fall to know who are the ones tt will lift her up when she needs them...... -
spend time talking to her.. try not to 'correct' her..
make her feel she belongs to the family..
organise family dinner.. etc.. -
did anything happen in d family tt made her feel tt way?
any eg. of 'em eating snake? wat r their positionz? -
maybe your approach was wrong? youstarte the conversation very erm...harsh manner? Ppl can get defensive when they feel threatened....
show more subtle concerns, actions speak louder than words. -
ummm... it's summarised...Originally posted by kAdEn:maybe your approach was wrong? youstarte the conversation very erm...harsh manner? Ppl can get defensive when they feel threatened....
show more subtle concerns, actions speak louder than words.
besides, how are we to use actions when we dun see her often enough? -
well.. i too dun like to stay in my 'stoned' home. No warmth, no nothing.
father think he can bribe mi wif $$ but he is wrong. mother nagging day to night.
Siblings r quarrelling n not toking to 1 another. If u were mi, would u stay at home. -
if no1'z gonna do sth abt it, it'z goin 2 stay tt way...Originally posted by xian89:well.. i too dun like to stay in my 'stoned' home. No warmth, no nothing.
father think he can bribe mi wif $$ but he is wrong. mother nagging day to night.
Siblings r quarrelling n not toking to 1 another. If u were mi, would u stay at home.
take d 1st step... -
haha.. too most teens.. friends are more... nice to be with, i guess its cuz u grew up with family sometimes enduring so much bullcrap. so u tend to compare n see where is more fun
friends usually won't comment u so much when u're not right. family tend to nag more, simply becuz they care. friends can't really be bothered to the extent of nagging.
u grew up with family. so tend to see the bad side of family members, but friends seldom show u bad side.
even for me. i like to hang around friends more than family i guess -
i also don like to stay at home... no warmth at all... everybody don give a damn bout each other... once i go home i juz go straight to my room and indulge myself in my cyber world... so i prefer to stay ouside and hang out with my friends...
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Originally posted by BOOBsie:
yo, Boobsie. this sis of yours somehow managed to become your superior is it? why is it i get this feeling you should be her elder sibling? in any case, i foresee she won't keep her job for long. and you no doubt realize how shiatty it is to have family members working together. why don't you find her another job as some free-lancer while you work your way up? she's just another arrogant little girl who doesn't know what's good for her yet.
is like that...?
~~~~~~~~~~
Me: where were u yest and the day b4?
Sis: was at XXX's house playing mahjong, took MC.
Me: kns. sick can play mahjong n come back so late? can go out, cannot go work, geh sian. just dun understand how come u can dun home. don't family mean a thing to u? are frenz more impt?
Sis: i work 7 mths, took MC 2 times, i need to take a break, and i dun have to explain my actions to u! at least i didn't take MC like u did when u were working in COMP. yes, frenz are MORe impt and i am not as close knit to ma n pa as u.
*COMP is my prev IT company, deadlines, deadlines, n more deadlines.
Me: yah right! but DID U work like i did in COMP? and did u really work 7 mths? ask urself dat b4 u compare. how many times i was sick and i still have to drag myself to work n still have to see ur black face? u still get ur pay no matter how many actual hours u work! and u are the one not allowing us to get near u! is it fair?
Sis: It's becoz i work smart, not work hard. y shd i go home to a stoned house? where no one communicate? i'm just waiting till i'm 21, earn enuf $ to get my own apartment.
Me: in that case, u can continue working hard, me, the stupidly working hard one, wud like to inform u that i'll be working till the end of the wk.
ahem. yes... we ARE working together.
[b]problem 1 : is family secondary to friends nowadays? is there any way to make them realise that frenz ARE the secondary ones?
problem 2 : how to deal with superiors who 'eat (a lot of) snake' and still think they really ARE working smart? i took the easiest but cowardly way out by quitting.[/b] -
mine not so bad la.. but i am so hooked in my com haha.. yea.. friends rulezOriginally posted by weidev:i also don like to stay at home... no warmth at all... everybody don give a damn bout each other... once i go home i juz go straight to my room and indulge myself in my cyber world... so i prefer to stay ouside and hang out with my friends... -
ppl ard my age all feel tat friends understand one another better tat;s y we prefer to hang out with one another... we know each other's habits... and tat is wat makes the relationship special... i don think my mum even noe wat is my fav food n drink...Originally posted by dumbdumb!:mine not so bad la.. but i am so hooked in my com haha.. yea.. friends rulez -
how come suddenly all the 'rebellions' come out n spit bitter water...?
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i am elder, i'm just helping out coz she needs staff quite urgently that time. i had already known the complications of family members working together, but i didn't realise that it would be this bad. but anyways, i will be leaving, and good luck to her. she wouldn't have much problem coz she's always the one with all the attention. so not many will ever think of her badly, even HER superiors thinks she's superwoman. little do they know...Originally posted by boy in blues:yo, Boobsie. this sis of yours somehow managed to become your superior is it? why is it i get this feeling you should be her elder sibling? in any case, i foresee she won't keep her job for long. and you no doubt realize how shiatty it is to have family members working together. why don't you find her another job as some free-lancer while you work your way up? she's just another arrogant little girl who doesn't know what's good for her yet. -
ur mum wouldn't have known if u wouldn't give her a chance to know u better. but then again, perhaps ur case is different from mine...Originally posted by weidev:ppl ard my age all feel tat friends understand one another better tat;s y we prefer to hang out with one another... we know each other's habits... and tat is wat makes the relationship special... i don think my mum even noe wat is my fav food n drink... -
i personally find that some of the youngsters nowadays are quite self centred. they can't take criticisms, neither would they want to admit that they are in the wrong.
is it the air or water or food after my years? that created them in this way?
i simply couldn't understand. or perhaps, they are just too different from me. -
its not that la.. at least for me..Originally posted by BOOBsie:i personally find that some of the youngsters nowadays are quite self centred. they can't take criticisms, neither would they want to admit that they are in the wrong.
is it the air or water or food after my years? that created them in this way?
i simply couldn't understand. or perhaps, they are just too different from me.
i just dun like the attitute grownups think they are right all the time.. ok, given that they have more experience, they would be right, at times. but not all. if grown ups are less uppity. we lil kids will listen more willingly i guess -
perhaps the grown ups had gone through that patch before and would not want their kids to go through the pain. but i do realise that the adults SHOULD let them kids experience life themselves, to go through pain and all, otherwise they just wouldn't learn!Originally posted by dumbdumb!:its not that la.. at least for me..
i just dun like the attitute grownups think they are right all the time.. ok, given that they have more experience, they would be right, at times. but not all. if grown ups are less uppity. we lil kids will listen more willingly i guess -
Originally posted by BOOBsie:
explain to her lor. show her more care
is like that...?
~~~~~~~~~~
Me: where were u yest and the day b4?
Sis: was at XXX's house playing mahjong, took MC.
Me: kns. sick can play mahjong n come back so late? can go out, cannot go work, geh sian. just dun understand how come u can dun home. don't family mean a thing to u? are frenz more impt?
Sis: i work 7 mths, took MC 2 times, i need to take a break, and i dun have to explain my actions to u! at least i didn't take MC like u did when u were working in COMP. yes, frenz are MORe impt and i am not as close knit to ma n pa as u.
*COMP is my prev IT company, deadlines, deadlines, n more deadlines.
Me: yah right! but DID U work like i did in COMP? and did u really work 7 mths? ask urself dat b4 u compare. how many times i was sick and i still have to drag myself to work n still have to see ur black face? u still get ur pay no matter how many actual hours u work! and u are the one not allowing us to get near u! is it fair?
Sis: It's becoz i work smart, not work hard. y shd i go home to a stoned house? where no one communicate? i'm just waiting till i'm 21, earn enuf $ to get my own apartment.
Me: in that case, u can continue working hard, me, the stupidly working hard one, wud like to inform u that i'll be working till the end of the wk.
ahem. yes... we ARE working together.
[b]problem 1 : is family secondary to friends nowadays? is there any way to make them realise that frenz ARE the secondary ones?
problem 2 : how to deal with superiors who 'eat (a lot of) snake' and still think they really ARE working smart? i took the easiest but cowardly way out by quitting.[/b] -
sigh.. u know some of them just WOULDN'T listen? she's one who'll never realise that she'll be wrong somedayOriginally posted by NeonTetra:explain to her lor. show her more care
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Stress up and feel down?
An Online Ministry by Chosen Generation, Youth Arm of St Andrew's Cathedral.
You can log online and chat with one of our staff over ICQ and we will be there to listen to what you have to say. Or you can send us an email to tell us what is in your mind.
ICQ No. : 254712457
Email: [email protected]
Day Online: Tuesdays to Thursdays
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u can try this ?
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u mean me or my sis?Originally posted by NeonTetra:Stress up and feel down?
An Online Ministry by Chosen Generation, Youth Arm of St Andrew's Cathedral.
You can log online and chat with one of our staff over ICQ and we will be there to listen to what you have to say. Or you can send us an email to tell us what is in your mind.
ICQ No. : 254712457
Email: [email protected]
Day Online: Tuesdays to Thursdays
Time online: 11.00am to 4.00pm
u can try this ? 
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u...u can seek proper advice fr themOriginally posted by BOOBsie:u mean me or my sis? -
Well, no point going head on either with your sis, since both will only result in further drift of the family.. You could try being less harsh on her as someone said, it's worth a try, but I have my reservations because of the initial fight on the same matter..
One thing I can say is not to care for what she is doing, but still love her as a sister and part of a family. As we get older, we want to be less comtrolled especially when your sister is not even 21. There's the rebellious stage. In life there will be a time when most of us will be tested on. One thing you can do is to get on with your stuff, but always be there for her, so that when there's a chance, she understand she still have a family to return to... Sometimes, people need to touch the kettle to learn the lesson, and not just mere warning them that it is hot. =)
Take a step back... Relax... She's happy with her life, you're happy with yours.. that's good.. you can't change a person, it has to take shape by itself.