how would u handle a sibling who...

• men_@_arms

  11 Dec 03, 17:02

  problem 1 : is family secondary to friends nowadays? is there any way to make them realise that frenz ARE the secondary ones?
  
  problem 2 : how to deal with superiors who 'eat (a lot of) snake' and still think they really ARE working smart? i took the easiest but cowardly way out by quitting.

  
  Answer 1: I believe either family/friends can be most important, it all depends upon many factors and events. For example, an abandoned orphan would consider friends primary to his family. An abused child would consider friends primary as well. Most of us teenagers consider friends primary because it is in our nature to be with people we like to be with. Nobody likes getting nagged by egoistic authoritarians who think age defines intelligence/wisdom. Ofcourse this all depends on a case by case basis.
  
  THe one thing you old people fail to do is to compete with friends. Most of us prefer friends because friends communicate clearer, and more importantly, SOFTER. If you old people can compete and win our attention and respect, then family would be a primary factor in a youngling's life.
  
  Personal note to you, an older authoritarian (i am assuming); whom I don't like:The future is now oldy, things change, if you can't change us then don't try, just suck it up and drift into history with your ancestors.
  
  Problem 2: Just suck it up, grow tough with whatever harsh treatment you recieve. Take their names down, get their address, family etc, all intelligence about them. Grow strong and work your revenge when they are at their weakest. Or if you have time, manipulate events to portray and give them the exact same treatment they gave you. This takes time and dedication, but you will be a stronger person with power in the end.
• BOOBsie

  13 Dec 03, 12:58

  thanks all for all the suggestions.. appreciate them..
• boy in blues

  14 Dec 03, 06:09

  Originally posted by NeonTetra:

  Stress up and feel down?
  
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• InVaa

  14 Dec 03, 10:25

  she jus trying to make u angry i think.. not really wad she think.. qi hua
• loneryu00

  14 Dec 03, 12:17

  Originally posted by xian89:

  well.. i too dun like to stay in my 'stoned' home. No warmth, no nothing.
  father think he can bribe mi wif $$ but he is wrong. mother nagging day to night.
  Siblings r quarrelling n not toking to 1 another. If u were mi, would u stay at home.

  Ppl in such situation tends to stay away from da family. Other ppl who dun have much of a family yearns for 1... Some ppl yearns for a MAJOR happening in such a peaceful enviornment, other ppl yearns for peace during war time... Haiz... its all in change... Once U got it, U take for granted & wished for smth else...
  
  Xian, yr father "bribed" U wif $$$ coz U still dunno how to handle finances well & hes oso trying to tell U how realistic & materialistic dis world is (his methods being right or wrong is another debatable case...). Yr mum nag coz she cares for U... U tink frens wld even bother to nag at U? Coz they tink its uncessary? Or they dunno how to tell U? Or they dun even care to tell U? I dun even noe myself. Do U? If I was still a teen, PERHAPS I had da same emotions as how U felt, but I have long passed dat & things r diff...
  
  Dis is a msg NOT aimed at Xian, BUT a comment to all who r in similar to Xian's situation. Oso to BOOBsie: No matter wat yr siblings do OR wat yr parents do, U will alwaes be there to support them, be behind them during times of difficulty or moments of glory or watever lah... No matter wat they do, we will alwaes stick by their side when our family needs us. Frens can do dis, but not ALL. If my frens r in some sort of trouble or have some prob, I dun believe to be wif ALL of them during dat time (well maybe for some of my CLOSE frens...)
  
  & furthermore, shld U lose yr family. U will learn to regret not spending time wif them while they were there... coz they r afterall da closest kins to U. Unless of coz, U r VERY independant... no parents or siblings wldn't wan U to grow & flourish. They will be proud of U for wat U do (if its good lah...) & support U & stand by U if U fall. Some more, U 1 dae will marry & settle down. Do U wan yr kids to be like U? Disliking family coz its "stoned"? Or yearning for a "complete" family?
  
  Frens r as impt as family in my views. BUT it was afterall yr parents who brought U into dis world. They sacrificed alot to raise U, most if not many, sacrificed their dreams juz to make sure U get da best. Spare a tot for them coz some dae U too WILL be in theeir shoes UNLESS U dun intend to start a family.
  
  Even if many parents dun do well in teaching their children (which result in BOOBsie, Xian & many other ppl's cases. Mine included) they meant well. Afterall they r not perfect. BUT they try da best they can.
  
  So my mouthful of saliva in telling U peeps? Respect their decision regardless of wat they do is good or not. Support them & stand by them. Love them even though there r conflicts ard.