Friendship at stake
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I have meet a friend who i think really has brought life to and shine the light of hope on me. My previous friendships with people who i treasure turned out to be a fiasco becoz of many reasons like one-sided relationship and love relationship which clashes.
So, now it's basically deja vu again. A friend who i think i have been looking for, because he is special and has meet my expectations of what a friend is, is now sort of in love with a girl. I do get abit jealous as times becoz i don't get the attention. There's one night where i can say it's e happiest night becoz of the declaration we've made for each other but then it lasted for onli 2 days.. before things starts to fall apart. His love is in conflicts with our friendship!
Now i need help. The friendship that i've always wanted is now falling apart. Should i save this friendship? or just let it go? This would also means that i have to give him more space for him and his new found gf. Am i being selfish by being protective of him? It hurts to see our bonds getting loose especially when he is "the one". -
So many bears...Originally posted by bearx:I have meet a friend who i think really has brought life to and shine the light of hope on me. My previous friendships with people who i treasure turned out to be a fiasco becoz of many reasons like one-sided relationship and love relationship which clashes.
So, now it's basically deja vu again. A friend who i think i have been looking for, because he is special and has meet my expectations of what a friend is, is now sort of in love with a girl. I do get abit jealous as times becoz i don't get the attention. There's one night where i can say it's e happiest night becoz of the declaration we've made for each other but then it lasted for onli 2 days.. before things starts to fall apart. His love is in conflicts with our friendship!
Now i need help. The friendship that i've always wanted is now falling apart. Should i save this friendship? or just let it go? This would also means that i have to give him more space for him and his new found gf. Am i being selfish by being protective of him? It hurts to see our bonds getting loose especially when he is "the one".
I wanna ask: U wan yr fren to be happy? If U do, let him go. IF he oso value da frenship as much as U do, he will NOT forget & WILL return to U 1, WITH or WITHOUT da gal.
FUMO!!!
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Im not too sure if im should let it go. This friendship is like a fulfilled desire which i have always wanted all my life. A great friendship which i should hold on. But to think of it, i should allow it more space for him and myself to breathe. That's what im currently doing, although it's painful to see e bond loosen up. Resemblance of water molecules losing it cohesive bonding.
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so, who is he actually in love with?Originally posted by bearx:Im not too sure if im should let it go. This friendship is like a fulfilled desire which i have always wanted all my life. A great friendship which i should hold on. But to think of it, i should allow it more space for him and myself to breathe. That's what im currently doing, although it's painful to see e bond loosen up. Resemblance of water molecules losing it cohesive bonding.
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/me confused
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... what u mean when u say friendship then one sided love relationship?
if u like that fella, then dun say friendship, dun confuse 2 diff things.. -
i dont know about others but i always regard no matter how strong a friendship is, it still means we all live our own lives.
being a good friend of another individual doesnt mean owning his or her life and should do everything together. -
i was abit rushy on that... sorry.Originally posted by dumbdumb!:... what u mean when u say friendship then one sided love relationship?
if u like that fella, then dun say friendship, dun confuse 2 diff things..
THey are 2 different thing. One sided friendship is meant by me giving in all the time while the other party isnt. I treasure this friendship soo much e other party dun seem to see it's significance to me. That's one-sided.
Love relationship would mean.. a friend who found a gf and sort of like neglect me and forget me totally. So, i dun see the balance there.... so turned out sour. -
*applaud*Originally posted by www:i dont know about others but i always regard no matter how strong a friendship is, it still means we all live our own lives.
being a good friend of another individual doesnt mean owning his or her life and should do everything together. -
err... i believe the story here is..
bearx has a good friend.
his good friend spending more time with another girl.
therefore, his good friend gotta spend less time with him.
thus, he is jealous.
he think his good friend is jepordizing the friendship because of this..
and yes... bearx is a he here. -
Not really in love. It's jus that he feels much comfortable with this girl in class (not to mentioned, she's cute). But from the way he treats her, it's like their into somethingOriginally posted by the Bear:so, who is he actually in love with? -
woo... okok.. tot it sounded gay and all that..
hmm. lol
well, ppl change, things change.. we just hv to get on with our lives.. i get what u mean though..
but dun worry abt it.. being a friend don't mean just spending time together or watever.
being a friend means to be there whenever he needs help, or be his guide thru life, be a good guide of course.
correcting him when he is wrong. giving advices. being there. -
i didn't check profile, but i coulda sworn those would have been words written by a woman who is secretly in love with her friend.. and is not willing to say it
bearx, you need to go out, make more friends..
i would be brutal here.. he needs space... to live his life.. what if he falls for her and marries her?
his time would be for her and his future family and rightly so.. but his friendship, if you respect him enough to make his own decisions, will always be yours...
btw.. what happens if you find some woman you love? -
Well, quite true i guess. So what do u guys suggest me to do? How can i make a win-win situation?Originally posted by www:i dont know about others but i always regard no matter how strong a friendship is, it still means we all live our own lives.
being a good friend of another individual doesnt mean owning his or her life and should do everything together. -
reminds me of 2 frenz... they (guys) are together like almost everyday... almost like partners...
are boys so 'sticky' nowadays...?? -
Are you being abit too possesive?Originally posted by bearx:I have meet a friend who i think really has brought life to and shine the light of hope on me. My previous friendships with people who i treasure turned out to be a fiasco becoz of many reasons like one-sided relationship and love relationship which clashes.
So, now it's basically deja vu again. A friend who i think i have been looking for, because he is special and has meet my expectations of what a friend is, is now sort of in love with a girl. I do get abit jealous as times becoz i don't get the attention. There's one night where i can say it's e happiest night becoz of the declaration we've made for each other but then it lasted for onli 2 days.. before things starts to fall apart. His love is in conflicts with our friendship!
Now i need help. The friendship that i've always wanted is now falling apart. Should i save this friendship? or just let it go? This would also means that i have to give him more space for him and his new found gf. Am i being selfish by being protective of him? It hurts to see our bonds getting loose especially when he is "the one". -
give him his space and be his friend...
learn what friendship entails..
and then, again, be his friend...Originally posted by bearx:Well, quite true i guess. So what do u guys suggest me to do? How can i make a win-win situation? -
Oh well, i suppose u guys are right. I think the mistake here i've gotta learnt to carry on with life but still holding on to the memories and the friendships that i once had. They are my support pillow. I suppose my philosophy of friendship has been tuned at a pretty bad angle. No wonder i suffered so much. Gee...Originally posted by dumbdumb!:woo... okok.. tot it sounded gay and all that..
hmm. lol
well, ppl change, things change.. we just hv to get on with our lives.. i get what u mean though..
but dun worry abt it.. being a friend don't mean just spending time together or watever.
being a friend means to be there whenever he needs help, or be his guide thru life, be a good guide of course.
correcting him when he is wrong. giving advices. being there. -
bearx... u guy or girl..?
lol i just want to settle whether u gay or gal..
cuz i'm seriously disturbed lol -
with regards to this friend, i cant advise much. after all, i dont know him, let alone knowing how he would think.Originally posted by bearx:Well, quite true i guess. So what do u guys suggest me to do? How can i make a win-win situation?
but i sure can advise what you should expect of yourself.
widen your circle a little more. dont think that there is only one friend in this world for the rest of your life.
respect what others like to do. a good friend is always someone who support in almost whatever you are doing. -
I guess i am. haha. Analogy: Imagine u're a poor girl who always wanted a diamond. And u've got one! Both of you are gonna be inseparable. Same goes here.. jus that its humans we're talking abt. Oh well... iOriginally posted by JeweL81:Are you being abit too possesive? -
Hello.. what are u implying here.. I'm a guy... please lor... dun take ppl at face value... gay my foot.. *pUuehh*Originally posted by dumbdumb!:bearx... u guy or girl..?
lol i just want to settle whether u gay or gal..
cuz i'm seriously disturbed lol -
guess u still dont understand the meaning of what is yours is yoursOriginally posted by bearx:I guess i am. haha. Analogy: Imagine u're a poor girl who always wanted a diamond. And u've got one! Both of you are gonna be inseparable. Same goes here.. jus that its humans we're talking abt. Oh well... i
and when its time to let go, should let go
i think u should just make your feeling clear
u and him are just normal friends not anything else -
Thanks alot for yr advice.. sure helps! I feel so much better now!Originally posted by www:with regards to this friend, i cant advise much. after all, i dont know him, let alone knowing how he would think.
but i sure can advise what you should expect of yourself.
widen your circle a little more. dont think that there is only one friend in this world for the rest of your life.
respect what others like to do. a good friend is always someone who support in almost whatever you are doing. -
I dun take that as normal frens. I would consider him as a best fren. But i think now with all the support and advice from yr guys, i know where i am standing now. Being his best friend, i shall stand behind him so as to give him all of my best support. He's the only friend who i can really talk to inside out, so this is something i would wan to keep and treasure. I shall jus be his punchbag bob haha.. and be there for him whenever he needs me as a friend. That's what happens when he has got conflict with the girl. =) So happy to be back! He is not mine i know but i think at times of trouble, i shall be there for him.Originally posted by doghouse837:guess u still dont understand the meaning of what is yours is yours
and when its time to let go, should let go
i think u should just make your feeling clear
u and him are just normal friends not anything else