why is he doing this...
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yes very important in r/s ... but it is very fragile...quntity will affect the r/s ... many factor will affect trust as well..Originally posted by weidev:in a relationship... trust is veri important... without a single trust for each other... no point being in a relationship... don even think of being friends... might as well be a total stranger...
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true tat alot of factors will affect trust in a relationship... but remember tat in a relationship no matter wat happen... trust each other... nothing will go wrong then...Originally posted by Twincat:yes very important in r/s ... but it is very fragile...quntity will affect the r/s ... many factor will affect trust as well.. -
wooo oohhh, wen shi jie qing wei he wu, wooo ooh wen shi jie qing wei wu....
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yes agree...Originally posted by weidev:true tat alot of factors will affect trust in a relationship... but remember tat in a relationship no matter wat happen... trust each other... nothing will go wrong then...
must check the trust level guage daily
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maybe he doesn't want to make things big..maybe he think that tell a lie to u will be beta than he tell u the truth cas u know that girl are very sensitive...and this may lead to alot of misunderstanding....just forgive and forget loh...Originally posted by tibirg:bf tells me he went to play badminton with 2 other frnz (consists of guys). days later, heard frm other frnz tat they had actually played with another girl as well. y did he lie to me? if he didnt do anything wrong, y muz he lie? wtf man........now it makes me wonder if there r whole lotsa other things he lied to me...... -
waaaa....didnt expect tis thread could still b alive for so long...normally threads i start die after 10+ posts at the most
thanks anyway....
well, ive sorta cooled down. guess i was feelin stressed last night. i didnt really clarify anythin with my bf about it though. we r still fine
thankies again
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Depends... On what grounds you're standing?Originally posted by weidev:true tat alot of factors will affect trust in a relationship... but remember tat in a relationship no matter wat happen... trust each other... nothing will go wrong then... -
Be careful. You could be just bottoming up things and playing dangerous game...?Originally posted by tibirg:yesh yesh....like i said i can understn tat he may b afraid tat i'd b unhappy to hear e truth so he feels its "safer" to keep it frm me....but i'd rather he tell me then i hear it frm someone else...
and no, i dont restrict him frm contacting gals!!!
and to ur point num 3, im basically a rather quiet person. prefer to observe carefully b4 shooting things frm my mouth. so i dont ask alot....never... -
ok...so regarding this thread....or rather my problem ive posted...what do u suggest? do u lie "necessarily" to ur gf too?Originally posted by Devil1976:Be careful. You could be just bottoming up things and playing dangerous game...? -
Guys r all liddat... Tatz y i nv trust guys easily. Im once a victim too so i understand how u feel.Originally posted by tibirg:bf tells me he went to play badminton with 2 other frnz (consists of guys). days later, heard frm other frnz tat they had actually played with another girl as well. y did he lie to me? if he didnt do anything wrong, y muz he lie? wtf man........now it makes me wonder if there r whole lotsa other things he lied to me......
I oso dunno y guys huh, since nv do anythin wrong den y muz lie or hide fr us... Den if ask him, he'll say coz he scared i noe i'll b unhappy or yi shen yi gui. But i mean, i'd rather he tel mi e truth than lettin mi find out myself den get more angry... -
Tat guy reali a piss off...Originally posted by sgboy2004:your case is mild as compared to my friend's case.
The bf said he joining a gang of friends (all guys) for badminton, and in the end, he did not go for the badminton but went out wif another gal for dinner... and then the gal asked the badminton gang and discovered her bf did not go for badminton at all.
When the gal asked her bf how was the game, he said it was good and even mentioned how he smashed and won the games...blah blah blah... and finally the gf broke down in front of him, cussing him for lying to her.
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Yes, trust is impt. But trust is not juz say "I love u" can liao... U muz earn each other's trust...Originally posted by weidev:in a relationship... trust is veri important... without a single trust for each other... no point being in a relationship... don even think of being friends... might as well be a total stranger... -
Because he knows you get paranoid easily? just like this???Originally posted by tibirg:bf tells me he went to play badminton with 2 other frnz (consists of guys). days later, heard frm other frnz tat they had actually played with another girl as well. y did he lie to me? if he didnt do anything wrong, y muz he lie? wtf man........now it makes me wonder if there r whole lotsa other things he lied to me...... -
like ive already mentioned....this isnt the 1st time...im not paranoid for christs sake....im juz pissed off with y he shd lie abt such a thing...u get me...?Originally posted by JeweL81:Because he knows you get paranoid easily? just like this???
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Because its really nothing worth mentioning...Originally posted by tibirg:like ive already mentioned....this isnt the 1st time...im not paranoid for christs sake....im juz pissed off with y he shd lie abt such a thing...u get me...?
Its either MAN or WOMAN...
I think you should be cool about it...
relax.... -
i think i was cool enuff...i didnt blow up and demand an explanation from him
but thnx -
I used to be a GREAT LIAR.... I lied for no reasons at all... I just find it 'fun' and 'challenging'.... Until one day I got pretty tired of it.... Ever since then I hardly tell lies (not that I don't...)....Originally posted by tibirg:ok...so regarding this thread....or rather my problem ive posted...what do u suggest? do u lie "necessarily" to ur gf too?
I think males and females alike... Sometimes you just need to lie... Be it BGR or any other form of relationship... Maybe it for a selfish reason or a truly noble one... Like already mentioned by others... It's all a matter of your perception of things... Seeing 'lies' as a form of act, its rights and wrongs are equally subjective... Cloudy... Sometimes to question the 'true intention' of it is like to rip a person's heart apart and question his/ her innermost conviction.... And even then you would only be able to see a throbbing heart?
For your questions... Yes. I do lie to my gfs.
About suggestion to your problem. I didn't suggest anything before because I think some of the forumites who posted before me gave quite sensible suggestions?
It could simply be some misunderstandings. Or no ill-intentions but fear of unnecessary arguement(s) form of lie? I don't know. Because I don't know him at all and I know little about your relationship with him to give much comments. He could also be lying for some 'evil intentions'... Something deep down in his roots?
But like most have already suggested, communication is important. Know the source of things though sometimes it's easier said than done? And alot of time it's purely up to your own judgement... And the depth of your love and trust for each other?
I just added. It's nice of you to still cool but do not keep things at the bottom of your heart for too long without attending to them or things may erupt too suddenly even for him to react... May it be misunderstanding or not....
All the best? -
toally agree.. talk on cool down mode and focus on the PROBLEM rather den speculation of wad u heard frm pple which may not be true.. and end up hurting both of u..Originally posted by Twincat:thats is true...but as for a couple they have to learn to talk to each other...ultimatly it is in between them...talk to each other when cool off of cos... focus on the problem and not speculation...more people in the communication channel the more loss of detail the message will become... -
haha... totally agree.. set a level of trustiness.. dun put too much trust.. juz when u tink it is the right amount.Originally posted by Twincat:yes agree...
must check the trust level guage daily -
erm, i find it dat is is more suitable to clarify dis rather den leave it. wait till dis problem snowball den jialat liaoz.. clarify and solve and put a full stop to it.. if not when quarrel again, unsettled things can take out and quarrel to make it more serious.Originally posted by tibirg:waaaa....didnt expect tis thread could still b alive for so long...normally threads i start die after 10+ posts at the most
thanks anyway....
well, ive sorta cooled down. guess i was feelin stressed last night. i didnt really clarify anythin with my bf about it though. we r still fine
thankies again -
if frankly speaking ur bf tell u frankly and ask u dat he go out play badminton with some gERS.. will u allow?Originally posted by shan_cai:Tat guy reali a piss off...
a guy thinkin is dat he put the badminton game more impt and mayb tk a small lie in order for him not to miss the badminton game..
frankly speaking if the guy realli tell the gf there is ger involve in the game, i got 70% sure the ger will hesitate and tell the guy not to go and play. -
Originally posted by Devil1976:
well said, i totally agree.. we not sure the intention of ur bf and we duno him. its juz base on wad we see on the forum and suggestion for u to heed or drop it.
I used to be a GREAT LIAR.... I lied for no reasons at all... I just find it 'fun' and 'challenging'.... Until one day I got pretty tired of it.... Ever since then I hardly tell lies (not that I don't...)....
I think males and females alike... Sometimes you just need to lie... Be it BGR or any other form of relationship... Maybe it for a selfish reason or a truly noble one... Like already mentioned by others... It's all a matter of your perception of things... Seeing 'lies' as a form of act, its rights and wrongs are equally subjective... Cloudy... Sometimes to question the 'true intention' of it is like to rip a person's heart apart and question his/ her innermost conviction.... And even then you would only be able to see a throbbing heart?
For your questions... Yes. I do lie to my gfs.
About suggestion to your problem. I didn't suggest anything before because I think some of the forumites who posted before me gave quite sensible suggestions?
It could simply be some misunderstandings. Or no ill-intentions but fear of unnecessary arguement(s) form of lie? I don't know. Because I don't know him at all and I know little about your relationship with him to give much comments. He could also be lying for some 'evil intentions'... Something deep down in his roots?
But like most have already suggested, communication is important. Know the source of things though sometimes it's easier said than done? And alot of time it's purely up to your own judgement... And the depth of your love and trust for each other?
I just added. It's nice of you to still cool but do not keep things at the bottom of your heart for too long without attending to them or things may erupt too suddenly even for him to react... May it be misunderstanding or not....
All the best?[/b]
gd luck. -
CorrectOriginally posted by WrX_STi:if frankly speaking ur bf tell u frankly and ask u dat he go out play badminton with some gERS.. will u allow?
a guy thinkin is dat he put the badminton game more impt and mayb tk a small lie in order for him not to miss the badminton game..
frankly speaking if the guy realli tell the gf there is ger involve in the game, i got 70% sure the ger will hesitate and tell the guy not to go and play.
Just like if ur girl tells u, "Later i go play badminton with a group of guys."
Would u allow?
Always always stand at the other party's pt of view. -
i think it's getting paranoid....after i read abt the other post.
stop thinking too much... -
glad that you and your bf is okay now..
my bf lied to me also... similar situation, never do anything wrong but still wana lie and let me find out.....
he always say trust is important in a relationship but he always destroy the trust i have for me. WHY DO MEN LIE?
i think next time he can be chu 1 and i can be 15. see how he feel.