How to tell my girl friend to let go of her ex-bf?
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I know a very nice girl - pretty and petite.
She was with this guy for ten years (since her school days). Even when this guy's business failed a few years ago, she was with him. She never left him, even though she had many suitors.
Four years ago, the guy was attracted to a poly intern. The intern was also attracted to him. But somehow, the intern was a problematic child, who always smokes and drinks, attempted suicide a few times etc. She threatened to kill herself if the guy did not leave my friend. Eventually the guy chose to stay with my friend, but he still had a soft spot for the intern. He still talked to her and cared about her. My friend could not take it anymore. She blew her top. And the guy broke up with her.
Two years later (today), my friend still has feelings for the guy. She has not been seeing anyone else. I thought it was natural to have feelings for the ex. But my friend is still waiting for him to come back to her.
My friend is really really stubborn and she knows it herself. I had tried not to be direct cuz I did not want her to feel sad. But not too long ago, I saw that she was still pinning hope. I had to tell her to let go, since it's already been two years after the breakup. Her eyes turned red when she heard that.
Recently, I saw that the guy was seeing someone else and even brought her home for dinner. I broke the news to my friend. But my friend indicated her intention of waiting for them to break up.
Again, I had to be direct to her. I told her that I did not know how much the guy felt for the new girl, but it was a fact that the guy was already with the new girl. My friend was really really sad.
I really do not know what else to say. Maybe I should stop talking to her for a while, reason being... the guy is actually my brother. If I continue talking to my friend, will I be giving her false hope? (She might think that I'm the connection for her to her ex-bf)
I really do not want to see her waiting blindly for the rest of her life. As I mentioned, she is stubborn. Even if there is a better guy intro to her, she will ignore. She said that in her heart, there is only this guy.
I'm sure you all agree that there is no hope in that past relationship anymore, since they were already separated for two years and there is no sign of the guy wanting her back. -
hmm... u sound like u r interested in her as well.... gd luck, my boy...Originally posted by Honeybunz:I know a very nice girl - pretty and petite.
She was with this guy for ten years (since her school days). Even when this guy's business failed a few years ago, she was with him. She never left him, even though she had many suitors.
Four years ago, the guy was attracted to a poly intern. The intern was also attracted to him. But somehow, the intern was a problematic child, who always smokes and drinks, attempted suicide a few times etc. She threatened to kill herself if the guy did not leave my friend. Eventually the guy chose to stay with my friend, but he still had a soft spot for the intern. He still talked to her and cared about her. My friend could not take it anymore. She blew her top. And the guy broke up with her.
Two years later (today), my friend still has feelings for the guy. She has not been seeing anyone else. I thought it was natural to have feelings for the ex. But my friend is still waiting for him to come back to her.
My friend is really really stubborn and she knows it herself. I had tried not to be direct cuz I did not want her to feel sad. But not too long ago, I saw that she was still pinning hope. I had to tell her to let go, since it's already been two years after the breakup. Her eyes turned red when she heard that.
Recently, I saw that the guy was seeing someone else and even brought her home for dinner. I broke the news to my friend. But my friend indicated her intention of waiting for them to break up.
Again, I had to be direct to her. I told her that I did not know how much the guy felt for the new girl, but it was a fact that the guy was already with the new girl. My friend was really really sad.
I really do not know what else to say. Maybe I should stop talking to her for a while, reason being... the guy is actually my brother. If I continue talking to my friend, will I be giving her false hope? (She might think that I'm the connection for her to her ex-bf)
I really do not want to see her waiting blindly for the rest of her life. As I mentioned, she is stubborn. Even if there is a better guy intro to her, she will ignore. She said that in her heart, there is only this guy.
I'm sure you all agree that there is no hope in that past relationship anymore, since they were already separated for two years and there is no sign of the guy wanting her back. -
Originally posted by KeN3:hmm... u sound like u r interested in her as well.... gd luck, my boy...
You have no idea what you're talking about... -
Originally posted by Honeybunz:I know a very nice girl - pretty and petite.
She was with this guy for ten years (since her school days). Even when this guy's business failed a few years ago, she was with him. She never left him, even though she had many suitors......... You would really have to talk to her and tell her to move on. It might make her heart break, but it's just a matter or time. It will come, eventually.
If she's to wait, she might have to wait for all her life...if the guy and the other girl are meant for one another... -
explain to her for the last time tat not worth waiting 4 the guy lor.... show her wat shes missing...
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lie to her that your bro is getting married??
sometime got to be heartless and tell her off a bit so that she'll wake up lor. -
do you think your brother deserve her? if not, i think this problem can soon be solved.Originally posted by Honeybunz:I know a very nice girl - pretty and petite.
She was with this guy for ten years (since her school days). Even when this guy's business failed a few years ago, she was with him. She never left him, even though she had many suitors.
Four years ago, the guy was attracted to a poly intern. The intern was also attracted to him. But somehow, the intern was a problematic child, who always smokes and drinks, attempted suicide a few times etc. She threatened to kill herself if the guy did not leave my friend. Eventually the guy chose to stay with my friend, but he still had a soft spot for the intern. He still talked to her and cared about her. My friend could not take it anymore. She blew her top. And the guy broke up with her.
Two years later (today), my friend still has feelings for the guy. She has not been seeing anyone else. I thought it was natural to have feelings for the ex. But my friend is still waiting for him to come back to her.
My friend is really really stubborn and she knows it herself. I had tried not to be direct cuz I did not want her to feel sad. But not too long ago, I saw that she was still pinning hope. I had to tell her to let go, since it's already been two years after the breakup. Her eyes turned red when she heard that.
Recently, I saw that the guy was seeing someone else and even brought her home for dinner. I broke the news to my friend. But my friend indicated her intention of waiting for them to break up.
Again, I had to be direct to her. I told her that I did not know how much the guy felt for the new girl, but it was a fact that the guy was already with the new girl. My friend was really really sad.
I really do not know what else to say. Maybe I should stop talking to her for a while, reason being... the guy is actually my brother. If I continue talking to my friend, will I be giving her false hope? (She might think that I'm the connection for her to her ex-bf)
I really do not want to see her waiting blindly for the rest of her life. As I mentioned, she is stubborn. Even if there is a better guy intro to her, she will ignore. She said that in her heart, there is only this guy.
I'm sure you all agree that there is no hope in that past relationship anymore, since they were already separated for two years and there is no sign of the guy wanting her back. -
tell ur bro to tell her that..they wun be baq together again...Originally posted by Honeybunz:I know a very nice girl - pretty and petite.
She was with this guy for ten years (since her school days). Even when this guy's business failed a few years ago, she was with him. She never left him, even though she had many suitors.
Four years ago, the guy was attracted to a poly intern. The intern was also attracted to him. But somehow, the intern was a problematic child, who always smokes and drinks, attempted suicide a few times etc. She threatened to kill herself if the guy did not leave my friend. Eventually the guy chose to stay with my friend, but he still had a soft spot for the intern. He still talked to her and cared about her. My friend could not take it anymore. She blew her top. And the guy broke up with her.
Two years later (today), my friend still has feelings for the guy. She has not been seeing anyone else. I thought it was natural to have feelings for the ex. But my friend is still waiting for him to come back to her.
My friend is really really stubborn and she knows it herself. I had tried not to be direct cuz I did not want her to feel sad. But not too long ago, I saw that she was still pinning hope. I had to tell her to let go, since it's already been two years after the breakup. Her eyes turned red when she heard that.
Recently, I saw that the guy was seeing someone else and even brought her home for dinner. I broke the news to my friend. But my friend indicated her intention of waiting for them to break up.
Again, I had to be direct to her. I told her that I did not know how much the guy felt for the new girl, but it was a fact that the guy was already with the new girl. My friend was really really sad.
I really do not know what else to say. Maybe I should stop talking to her for a while, reason being... the guy is actually my brother. If I continue talking to my friend, will I be giving her false hope? (She might think that I'm the connection for her to her ex-bf)
I really do not want to see her waiting blindly for the rest of her life. As I mentioned, she is stubborn. Even if there is a better guy intro to her, she will ignore. She said that in her heart, there is only this guy.
I'm sure you all agree that there is no hope in that past relationship anymore, since they were already separated for two years and there is no sign of the guy wanting her back.
even how sad she can be.. but u know tats the best for her.. then thats the best way. -
Yr brother can oredi settle all dis. Tell yr brother wat happen & let him do da rest. U done all U cld.Originally posted by Honeybunz:I know a very nice girl - pretty and petite.
She was with this guy for ten years (since her school days). Even when this guy's business failed a few years ago, she was with him. She never left him, even though she had many suitors.
Four years ago, the guy was attracted to a poly intern. The intern was also attracted to him. But somehow, the intern was a problematic child, who always smokes and drinks, attempted suicide a few times etc. She threatened to kill herself if the guy did not leave my friend. Eventually the guy chose to stay with my friend, but he still had a soft spot for the intern. He still talked to her and cared about her. My friend could not take it anymore. She blew her top. And the guy broke up with her.
Two years later (today), my friend still has feelings for the guy. She has not been seeing anyone else. I thought it was natural to have feelings for the ex. But my friend is still waiting for him to come back to her.
My friend is really really stubborn and she knows it herself. I had tried not to be direct cuz I did not want her to feel sad. But not too long ago, I saw that she was still pinning hope. I had to tell her to let go, since it's already been two years after the breakup. Her eyes turned red when she heard that.
Recently, I saw that the guy was seeing someone else and even brought her home for dinner. I broke the news to my friend. But my friend indicated her intention of waiting for them to break up.
Again, I had to be direct to her. I told her that I did not know how much the guy felt for the new girl, but it was a fact that the guy was already with the new girl. My friend was really really sad.
I really do not know what else to say. Maybe I should stop talking to her for a while, reason being... the guy is actually my brother. If I continue talking to my friend, will I be giving her false hope? (She might think that I'm the connection for her to her ex-bf)
I really do not want to see her waiting blindly for the rest of her life. As I mentioned, she is stubborn. Even if there is a better guy intro to her, she will ignore. She said that in her heart, there is only this guy.
I'm sure you all agree that there is no hope in that past relationship anymore, since they were already separated for two years and there is no sign of the guy wanting her back. -
I think u still need to be with her to support her and see her thru it. Get your brother to extinguish all hopes that she maybe carrying. A bit cruel but required else she will be wasting her time. Just afraid what will your bro think when he know about the ex-gf still pinning hopes on him...
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What's left of a relationship already lost and left in ruins? It is so obvious that she had went back to the ruins, while the man she loved so deeply, had already travelled and move across the plains to greener pasture.Originally posted by Honeybunz:I know a very nice girl - pretty and petite.
She was with this guy for ten years (since her school days). Even when this guy's business failed a few years ago, she was with him. She never left him, even though she had many suitors.
Four years ago, the guy was attracted to a poly intern. The intern was also attracted to him. But somehow, the intern was a problematic child, who always smokes and drinks, attempted suicide a few times etc. She threatened to kill herself if the guy did not leave my friend. Eventually the guy chose to stay with my friend, but he still had a soft spot for the intern. He still talked to her and cared about her. My friend could not take it anymore. She blew her top. And the guy broke up with her.
Two years later (today), my friend still has feelings for the guy. She has not been seeing anyone else. I thought it was natural to have feelings for the ex. But my friend is still waiting for him to come back to her.
My friend is really really stubborn and she knows it herself. I had tried not to be direct cuz I did not want her to feel sad. But not too long ago, I saw that she was still pinning hope. I had to tell her to let go, since it's already been two years after the breakup. Her eyes turned red when she heard that.
Recently, I saw that the guy was seeing someone else and even brought her home for dinner. I broke the news to my friend. But my friend indicated her intention of waiting for them to break up.
Again, I had to be direct to her. I told her that I did not know how much the guy felt for the new girl, but it was a fact that the guy was already with the new girl. My friend was really really sad.
I really do not know what else to say. Maybe I should stop talking to her for a while, reason being... the guy is actually my brother. If I continue talking to my friend, will I be giving her false hope? (She might think that I'm the connection for her to her ex-bf)
I really do not want to see her waiting blindly for the rest of her life. As I mentioned, she is stubborn. Even if there is a better guy intro to her, she will ignore. She said that in her heart, there is only this guy.
I'm sure you all agree that there is no hope in that past relationship anymore, since they were already separated for two years and there is no sign of the guy wanting her back.
Basically, I understand your kind intention in trying to make her give up, but in reality nothing but herself can cease that waiting, pending and longing. The only thing you can do is to constantly psycho her negatively and gradually - avoid using false hope or seemingly-false hope because what she needs now is someone to share the same thinking as her. The minute if you implied something that fuel this hope, she will believe like a blind faith. Love Law truth number two: No one can make us stay in a bad relationship apart from ourselves. (Only she has the ability and power to leave her past)
Keep talking to your friend? Nah, you have to gradually shock her with reality truth opposite message from her befuddled mind first. You may have to avoid seeing her too often as well. Plan this well - get another mutual good friend and tell her to hang around and be there for her when it is neccessary. Psychologically, your presence signify one things:
I) You subconsciously represent your brother. Remember the day when we broke up and we felt so hurt, we would tour around the places we used to go when we are a couple? Sometimes, emotions overwhelmed us and we cry. You represent a walking scenario.
This is also the reason why she will automatically reject other guys you attempt to introduce. The heart automatically shut down and mind switch off - to these guys for since you represent your brother. 'How could she know other guys when she is 'with' him' hidden subconscious thoughts will spring out and the reaction would be rejection outrageously. I suggest attempt Stealth Tactics if you want these guys to succeed.
Level 1: Avoid mutual introduction first - her psychological automatic thoughts will trigger her defensive mechanism to block off. First tell your other guy friend saying that you have this good female friend you want to intro to him, allow him to see her first and seek for his impression. If it is good, we moved on to level two.
Level 2: Somehow in level two, the three of you would have to know each other. I suggest avoid putting three-people-go-out situation, it can be too obvious. A good plan would be a group outing. Although psychological focus is low, but our objective isn't this, yet.
Level 3: Once as friends, move on, gradually in Stealth mode - invisible to woman's sensitive mental radar and understand her as a friend. Don't have to do aggressive selling, take things one at the time. As for you, at this level, you would have to gradually reduce your presence as well. This happens simultaneously. There will be an unconscious shift of dependancy from her if the guy witty, adaptable and good enough to follow this plan. Remember I told you about another good female friends to be around her? She will appear at this level. (Must pump message that could implied strongly that your brother had already moved on as well)
Level 4: Its beyond your control - like Spirit entering into Mars. Its all about him now.
P.S: Actually, I foresee that the first guy should fail unless he is trained and experience in the art of seduction, love and romance or simply lucky. But the sad thing is that, the second one should be actual one that can succeed. The first's appearance is to do the dirty job. (Of course you are not going to tell him that), but truely, with very good planning and actions from him, he may succeed.
Cheers -
Try showering her with your love to let her know wat she is missing.
If you are sincere, she will know it one...
if she still can't forget, you should give her more time and then she will know who she will miss more when u are not around.
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To Honeybunz:Originally posted by Honeybunz:I know a very nice girl - pretty and petite.
She was with this guy for ten years (since her school days). Even when this guy's business failed a few years ago, she was with him. She never left him, even though she had many suitors.
Four years ago, the guy was attracted to a poly intern. The intern was also attracted to him. But somehow, the intern was a problematic child, who always smokes and drinks, attempted suicide a few times etc. She threatened to kill herself if the guy did not leave my friend. Eventually the guy chose to stay with my friend, but he still had a soft spot for the intern. He still talked to her and cared about her. My friend could not take it anymore. She blew her top. And the guy broke up with her.
Two years later (today), my friend still has feelings for the guy. She has not been seeing anyone else. I thought it was natural to have feelings for the ex. But my friend is still waiting for him to come back to her.
My friend is really really stubborn and she knows it herself. I had tried not to be direct cuz I did not want her to feel sad. But not too long ago, I saw that she was still pinning hope. I had to tell her to let go, since it's already been two years after the breakup. Her eyes turned red when she heard that.
Recently, I saw that the guy was seeing someone else and even brought her home for dinner. I broke the news to my friend. But my friend indicated her intention of waiting for them to break up.
Again, I had to be direct to her. I told her that I did not know how much the guy felt for the new girl, but it was a fact that the guy was already with the new girl. My friend was really really sad.
I really do not know what else to say. Maybe I should stop talking to her for a while, reason being... the guy is actually my brother. If I continue talking to my friend, will I be giving her false hope? (She might think that I'm the connection for her to her ex-bf)
I really do not want to see her waiting blindly for the rest of her life. As I mentioned, she is stubborn. Even if there is a better guy intro to her, she will ignore. She said that in her heart, there is only this guy.
I'm sure you all agree that there is no hope in that past relationship anymore, since they were already separated for two years and there is no sign of the guy wanting her back.
I and Virginheart were caught in a rather similar situations and both had already keep clear of the gals we knew. virginheart is going to US for his coimpany attachment.
Basically, I can tell U that the gal U knows does not know what she want. She keep living in the past ---> 2 years of separation and she still cling to the past.
Let's me tell U the truth: No matter how/what U did, she will never accept U/commit herself to U as her heart is already dead....Is she the type that appears very listless, keep things to herself, a loner and when U mention things about her EXs, she wlll be very excited and will tell U a lof about her association with her EXs?
If the answer is YES, I advise U to slowly and slowly keep adrift of her as basically, she is wasting your time. She is a stubborn lot who refused to accept new advices/ideas from others. she is letting her past to ruin her WILLINGLY.
I met this type of gal last 5 months ago...I did try very hard to advice her etc but eventually my close friend adived me to leave her earlier but I did not take the advice and until recently, I foresee it is a GONE Case and so I did not associate with her again. She knew of my intention of leaving her and she did not do anything else although sounded not so happy at the initial stage.
2 options for U:
1. Give yourself 2 to 3 months time to convince her of your sincerity and by the end of the period, she can so call WAKE UP FROM HER DREAM, then I congratulate U.
2. If U find that she is becoming more and more of a burden to U, make some plans for yourself before U leave her.
I more or less know the outcome of your situation but I will still encourage U to try your best BUT there are many more things awaitng for U to seek in life.
Do Update Us of the outcome whenever U can. -
To HoneyBunz
Basically this types of gals have NO DIRECTION in her life, she does not know what she wants/aims and let each day goes as it is. She will not accept another guy so easily and if she encounter any problems in LOVE(matter of the heart), normally, the easiest way out for her is to avoid U, hide/shut herself from the rest.
Keep a lookout/sound her out. U can ask her" What U plan to do in 3 years time" ---> see how she will reply U. -
Thanks, my friends, for all the advices
For a few of you who think I'm a male friend to this girl,
I'm a female. Same gender as my this poor friend.
Paiseh... didn't make things clear at the beginning
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To honeybunz:
Since U are a lady friend of her, U must help her by all mean as she is letting her past runing her. U can quote my story to her and hope that your friend is not following the footstep of some others who basically cannot think for themselves.
She need your help at this moment of time to get over all these but I understand that it takes TIME. -
Honeybunz.
introduce mi to ur friend and tat will slove ur problem.
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Originally posted by abterror:Honeybunz.
introduce mi to ur friend and tat will slove ur problem. 
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hey honeybunz..
i dun really know the full story but i'm gonna tell u that if i were u, i wouldn't stop her. She's found the love of her life. so why are u stopping her? i know u really want to be a good friend and would really love to see her move on with her life. but she's old enough to decide for herself... the best thing u can do as a friend is to stand by her if she falls and help her on her feet again.
i think u need to let your brother know that she's still waiting.... my best friend is in a similar situation, he's told this girl that he really likes her but she's rejected him sayin that she'd prefer him as a friend. He's respected her decision, stuck to it and they've still been going out like the good friends that they are. my point it.. he's happy.. he's not with her, still loves her BUT he;s happy.. i know he longs for something more... but.. we'll let time settle that for him..
for your friend, please pass this message on to her... "i hope u find a man worthy enough of your love. girls nowadays don't seem to be able to hold a candle up you when it comes to devotion." -
hello Honeybunz,
one of the reasons your girlfriend is so devoted to that guy is because she has closed her heart to other people. due to lack to of exposure to others, she doesn't realize there are others who may be even better than him. you can help her by widening her social circle and introduce her to more and more of your close friends without the intention of matchmaking but only to be friends let nature take its course. it is not good to limit one's social circle to boyfriend and girlfriend. but trust and faith are prerequisites so the couple must be together for solid, mutual and permanent reasons. -
"When you sleeps at night and you dreams... It's not gonna make much differences to the reality...."
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when i broke up with my ex.. my best friend tried to persuade me to move on..
after awhile, he stopped doing that.. my close group of friends and himself was just there to spend time with me..
and thru time, i learnt to accept the situation and moved on..
my point is, just be there for her.. when she's ready to move on.. she will.. -
I've pondered this over for a few days, cosh I really wanna help. Even up till now, I can't think of the best solution for u. U see, if u were in tt situation, I wld be able to advise u. But it's ur fren, she din come to ask for advice, so it's kinda different.......
Over the past few days, I'd tried to recall all the thgs I did to help my frens, or my frens did to help me, & I've compiled the best.
1. Keep ur fren bz. Post-split, pple tend to think too much & cry too much whenever they haf free time on their hands. Keep her occupied, take out her shopping, go to the movies, haf coffee & pple-watch (this is fun
), haf gd meals, go for a drink @ a quiet place (I recommend Oriental Hotel, there's an open area wif a pianist & someone singing ).
2. Bring her for a makeover, & join in. Both of u can go for a great haircut/style/perm/rebonding/colour, then head down to MAC (cosmetics, for the benefit of the guys) @ Tangs. Ask for Lynette (my recommendation, she's the best, I always go to her) & get her to give both of u a makeover (only her if u're a guy). Then, go buy clothes, bags, shoes, hair accessories (pls hor, if u dun haf the budget, dun go for designer labels ). When u feel like a brand new person, there's oso a boosted level of confidence. Who noes? She might actually wanna indulge in some harmless flirting (read: teasing only!!! ).
3. Go on a short vacation (or a few short ones, spread throughout the yr). There're great budget places to go to. Redang is a beautiful place, the beach is great, & it's quiet enuff so tt u can tok abt anythg. Haf a beer @ the beach, eat to ur hearts' content. U can oso try KL, JB, etc. Browse thru the Net for reasonably-priced & gd hotels.
4. Avoid bringing up ur bro. If she wans to tok abt him, fine, but find a way to change the subj asap. If she asks, dun give her a detailed ans, juz tell her he's happee. THEN, take her mind off him by keeping her occupied as stated in #1, 2, 3.
5. This is linked to #2, boost her confidence, so tt she'll look on the bright side of thgs, & give her hope. Tell her how prettie she is, how intelligent, etc. Tell her she'll find somebody who'll make her happee. Even if she mentions him, ignore it, juz compliment her.
Ultimately, it's up to her whether or Not to give him up. The above r only ways to make her feel better. There's the possibility she'll find someone else, there's oso the possibility she'll still wanna hang onto the dream of being together wif him.
Wat's impt is tt, u support her & do thgs for her, the way a true fren does : )
RPOriginally posted by Honeybunz:I know a very nice girl - pretty and petite.
She was with this guy for ten years (since her school days). Even when this guy's business failed a few years ago, she was with him. She never left him, even though she had many suitors.
Four years ago, the guy was attracted to a poly intern. The intern was also attracted to him. But somehow, the intern was a problematic child, who always smokes and drinks, attempted suicide a few times etc. She threatened to kill herself if the guy did not leave my friend. Eventually the guy chose to stay with my friend, but he still had a soft spot for the intern. He still talked to her and cared about her. My friend could not take it anymore. She blew her top. And the guy broke up with her.
Two years later (today), my friend still has feelings for the guy. She has not been seeing anyone else. I thought it was natural to have feelings for the ex. But my friend is still waiting for him to come back to her.
My friend is really really stubborn and she knows it herself. I had tried not to be direct cuz I did not want her to feel sad. But not too long ago, I saw that she was still pinning hope. I had to tell her to let go, since it's already been two years after the breakup. Her eyes turned red when she heard that.
Recently, I saw that the guy was seeing someone else and even brought her home for dinner. I broke the news to my friend. But my friend indicated her intention of waiting for them to break up.
Again, I had to be direct to her. I told her that I did not know how much the guy felt for the new girl, but it was a fact that the guy was already with the new girl. My friend was really really sad.
I really do not know what else to say. Maybe I should stop talking to her for a while, reason being... the guy is actually my brother. If I continue talking to my friend, will I be giving her false hope? (She might think that I'm the connection for her to her ex-bf)
I really do not want to see her waiting blindly for the rest of her life. As I mentioned, she is stubborn. Even if there is a better guy intro to her, she will ignore. She said that in her heart, there is only this guy.
I'm sure you all agree that there is no hope in that past relationship anymore, since they were already separated for two years and there is no sign of the guy wanting her back. -
to sum up this super long but still very thoughtful reply,Originally posted by RainbowPrincess:I've pondered this over for a few days, cosh I really wanna help. Even up till now, I can't think of the best solution for u. U see, if u were in tt situation, I wld be able to advise u. But it's ur fren, she din come to ask for advice, so it's kinda different.......
Over the past few days, I'd tried to recall all the thgs I did to help my frens, or my frens did to help me, & I've compiled the best.
1. Keep ur fren bz. Post-split, pple tend to think too much & cry too much whenever they haf free time on their hands. Keep her occupied, take out her shopping, go to the movies, haf coffee & pple-watch (this is fun), haf gd meals, go for a drink @ a quiet place (I recommend Oriental Hotel, there's an open area wif a pianist & someone singing ).
2. Bring her for a makeover, & join in. Both of u can go for a great haircut/style/perm/rebonding/colour, then head down to MAC (cosmetics, for the benefit of the guys) @ Tangs. Ask for Lynette (my recommendation, she's th0e best, I always go to her) & get her to give both of u a makeover (only her if u're a guy). Then, go buy clothes, bags, shoes, hair accessories (pls hor, if u dun haf the budget, dun go for designer labels ). When u feel like a brand new person, there's oso a boosted level of confidence. Who noes? She might actually wanna indulge in some harmless flirting (read: teasing only!!! ).
3. Go on a short vacation (or a few short ones, spread throughout the yr). There're great budget places to go to. Redang is a beautiful place, the beach is great, & it's quiet enuff so tt u can tok abt anythg. Haf a beer @ the beach, eat to ur hearts' content. U can oso try KL, JB, etc. Browse thru the Net for reasonably-priced & gd hotels.
4. Avoid bringing up ur bro. If she wans to tok abt him, fine, but find a way to change the subj asap. If she asks, dun give her a detailed ans, juz tell her he's happee. THEN, take her mind off him by keeping her occupied as stated in #1, 2, 3.
5. This is linked to #2, boost her confidence, so tt she'll look on the bright side of thgs, & give her hope. Tell her how prettie she is, how intelligent, etc. Tell her she'll find somebody who'll make her happee. Even if she mentions him, ignore it, juz compliment her.
Ultimately, it's up to her whether or Not to give him up. The above r only ways to make her feel better. There's the possibility she'll find someone else, there's oso the possibility she'll still wanna hang onto the dream of being together wif him.
Wat's impt is tt, u support her & do thgs for her, the way a true fren does : )
RP
just be the ultimate super optimistic (haha RP...) energizer bunny that goes on and on and on, never giving up on a friend in need and always always being there for her. -
So now, Farmer Brown, Cottontail has been v. nice to u. Will u allow me to enter ur vegie patch & take a few carrots for myself, Peter Rabbit & family & Not chase me off wif ur hoe?
RPOriginally posted by Farmer Brown:to sum up this super long but still very thoughtful reply,
just be the ultimate super optimistic (haha RP...) energizer bunny that goes on and on and on, never giving up on a friend in need and always always being there for her.