Originally posted by Honeybunz:
I know a very nice girl - pretty and petite.
She was with this guy for ten years (since her school days). Even when this guy's business failed a few years ago, she was with him. She never left him, even though she had many suitors.
Four years ago, the guy was attracted to a poly intern. The intern was also attracted to him. But somehow, the intern was a problematic child, who always smokes and drinks, attempted suicide a few times etc. She threatened to kill herself if the guy did not leave my friend. Eventually the guy chose to stay with my friend, but he still had a soft spot for the intern. He still talked to her and cared about her. My friend could not take it anymore. She blew her top. And the guy broke up with her.
Two years later (today), my friend still has feelings for the guy. She has not been seeing anyone else. I thought it was natural to have feelings for the ex. But my friend is still waiting for him to come back to her.
[b]My friend is really really stubborn and she knows it herself. I had tried not to be direct cuz I did not want her to feel sad. But not too long ago, I saw that she was still pinning hope. I had to tell her to let go, since it's already been two years after the breakup. Her eyes turned red when she heard that.
Recently, I saw that the guy was seeing someone else and even brought her home for dinner. I broke the news to my friend. But my friend indicated her intention of waiting for them to break up.
Again, I had to be direct to her. I told her that I did not know how much the guy felt for the new girl, but it was a fact that the guy was already with the new girl. My friend was really really sad.
I really do not know what else to say. Maybe I should stop talking to her for a while, reason being... the guy is actually my brother. If I continue talking to my friend, will I be giving her false hope? (She might think that I'm the connection for her to her ex-bf)
I really do not want to see her waiting blindly for the rest of her life. As I mentioned, she is stubborn. Even if there is a better guy intro to her, she will ignore. She said that in her heart, there is only this guy.
I'm sure you all agree that there is no hope in that past relationship anymore, since they were already separated for two years and there is no sign of the guy wanting her back.[/b]
Hi Honeybunz,
Personally, I have kind of experience situations similar to yours. Just tt I am in no way related to tt guy at all. My fren was attached to tt guy for some time. This guy has been treating her well at 1st then it became worse and he began to make use of her (like ask her for money and ask her help pay the bills). Eventually she cant stand it and break off with him.
But then she stil have some hope in him and she stil liked him in a way. She too is very stubborn and cant put him down. She even landed up in hospital bcos of him. Tt guy did not even dare to meet up to settle the money issues. (She is paying his debt even till now.)
I haf tried nicely and not too direct to ask her to move on and not to stay there. Somehow it has fallen on deaf-ears. She is stil very particular on the guy's condition and things. I have not used direct words to her cos i noe she will not listen and may just slap the phone down on me or simply walk away.
My advice to u will be to ask ur fren to forget ur brother and move on. Tell her the reasons and let this be ur last time telling her (as u areay told her many times b4). If she refuses to move on, we can only let her find her own way. If she choses the wrg path, I mean to a stubborn person, no matter wat words we use, its no use. I dun mean to be mean but for stubborn person, i guess they will haf to fall down and hurt in a big way till they realise sth then they will listen to u.
Of cos, we all do not want tt to happen. Tts y we are helping them.
I guess we are in the same boat. =P
You have no idea what you're talking about...[/quote
