I need help
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I just came back from school overly early. Couldn't go on with the day. I am very angry and bitter. I walked in class late and my form teacher asked why i was late, i said i had a bad stomachahe, which was a lie, i want to make things sound as normal as possible. Then he said i may have to go for detention class, i flipped out and replied to him "do what you like with me". He got pissed, called me outside and reprimanded me, i was genuinely sorry for being rude, but i doubt he accepted it, but that's not why I am bitter.
I was already pissed about lots of things, as someone said to me on one rare occasion i am spoken to, I let my problems be shackles into the next day. I dont even want to think about how long my shackles are, they are most likely damn long, 5 years of... unhappiness, with touches of happiness in between that have eroded over time. I hesitate to talk to my father because he is at work, same with my mother. My classmates already think of me enough of a freak, why bother talking to them, there is no point. I just left school, cant carry on for today.
I look at my life and feel bloody ashamed, I have suffered and have loss interest in going on. I am tired of working, I am tired of being alone and I am tired of being to blame, I am tired of being me. I really am. The only help i think i can do for myself is to end my life. -
think u could take at those self-help books on emotions management........
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ending ur life is not the solution out...
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dun be gloomy...take it as a lesson learnt and move on. try to communicate with people you know and things will be better. u can PM me ur problems as well or perhaps come to 'Eternal Hope' forums..we have people to talk to you there
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Yeah that's just what i bloody well need, more books, more books to add on to the other books I have to read this year for god's sake.
Forget the books, no one helps, or wants to. Guess what I found on the internet?You can use the chart to check ([X]) off any symptoms you have had for 2 weeks or more.
X Depression
X Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
X Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
X Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
X Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
X Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
X Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
X Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
X Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
X Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain
If you have had five or more of these symptoms including at least one of the first two symptoms marked with an asterisk (*) for at least 2 weeks, you may have major depressive disorder. See your health care provider for diagnosis.
Mania
X Abnormal or excessive elation
X Unusual irritability
X Decreased need for sleep
X Grandiose notions
X Increased talking
X Racing thoughts
Increased sexual desire
X Markedly increased energy
X Poor judgment
X Inappropriate social behavior
If you have had four of these symptoms at one time for at least 1 week, including the first symptom marked with an *, you may have had a manic episode. Tell your health care provider about these episodes. There are effective treatments for this form of depression
I am fucked up. I am sick i think. -
Well, ever tried to talk to someone about your problems? Am sure if you talked about problems here in the forum, there are people who will respond to them and give you advice.
Let me just say that sucide is the most selfish act possible, ending your life will make everyone around you sad...
Why not, go interact with others, find some interests or hobby like basketball? -
mus b strong!only u can help urself...
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mus b strong!only u can help urself...
interesting, elsewhere they say one needs people to help them. I dont have people. It should be done alone, that way i dont bother anyone. There is just so much pain and anguish which i want to end, how could I have been so foolish to go on and on for years, it should have been done earlier.What the hell else have I got other than 10 points? ffs -
share with someone your problems... it helps
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share with someone your problems... it helps
That;s what i'm doing isn't it ffs?Today is just one of those days where I lose control and flip out. But when it happened before, I flip out by just sitting down and shutting up, or punching the wall, or crying. But now.... it takes the form of being nasty to people, the last time i flipped out this years, a month ago? Or a few weeks ago, when school reopened, i was uncivil to my classmates, refused to move a space so they could all sit together or something. Today I was rude to my teacher and i just ran away from school. Wtf. -
so why are you so hostile to people?
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Originally posted by men_@_arms:
i think i got all the above... think i'm once so sick before....
Yeah that's just what i bloody well need, more books, more books to add on to the other books I have to read this year for god's sake.
Forget the books, no one helps, or wants to. Guess what I found on the internet?
[b]
I am fucked up. I am sick i think. [/b] -
My problems???
My ethnicity, which is a barrier. There is no point in life because it is so unlucky for me. There is too much to do at school, there is no one to talk to at school, or at least they dont talk to me, whenever i try i dont get much transmission back toward me. My fucken home, no one's home most of the time, i'm alone. We dont eat together, dad's always out, mum is in more, but i have no time to like interact, got work. I hesitate to call them now, cos i fear i will, NO i WILL bother them. I feel so isolated and misunderstood. I have the symptoms mentioned above on and off frequently. And all along I thought being negative was just my character, but i never was negative... until i went to secondary school, all the shit started. I am an abomination to people, i am not a good person, i cannot match up to people and be accepted. I AM ugly and fat. I just slog day to day with not much incentive. I am sick of this. We all have no time to fix the place, the place is always in a mess. Booze does not help anymore. -
SImply put,, I am ME and that is the problem which should never have existed, I should never have been. I must rectify that.
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so why are you so hostile to people?
oh i dont know. -
Why not, go interact with others, find some interests or hobby like basketball
Who wants to interact with a freak like me? -
maybe you should start talking to your mum.. open up yourself to people around you.. don't bottle all this frustration in yourself..
make friends.. talk to them nicely..
develop a pleasant personality.. -
Strangely now I dont feel like doing anything, not even dying... yet. I just feel blank and empty, i'm not crying anymoe. I feel calm and blank. WHy the sudden change? Its just like before... i flip out, calm down, and then will flip out again, who knows what will happen next time that happens, this has gone on for a long time.
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And i calmed down with no help. No one spoke to me. I am just weird and mad, face reality i should.
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because you've already let out your frustration.. but you have not solved the root cause.. that is you have formed a barrier between yourself and the world..Originally posted by men_@_arms:Strangely now I dont feel like doing anything, not even dying... yet. I just feel blank and empty, i'm not crying anymoe. I feel calm and blank. WHy the sudden change? Its just like before... i flip out, calm down, and then will flip out again, who knows what will happen next time that happens, this has gone on for a long time. -
Then CHANGE it? BE WHO you wanna be... For EVERY LIFE there is a MAIN DRIVER... And your life's driver is simply you... MOVE. In the DIRECTION you wants to... Don't expect people to make the changes in your life? Others are probably busy driving their OWN life.... So what ya waiting for?Originally posted by men_@_arms:I just came back from school overly early. Couldn't go on with the day. I am very angry and bitter. I walked in class late and my form teacher asked why i was late, i said i had a bad stomachahe, which was a lie, i want to make things sound as normal as possible. Then he said i may have to go for detention class, i flipped out and replied to him "do what you like with me". He got pissed, called me outside and reprimanded me, i was genuinely sorry for being rude, but i doubt he accepted it, but that's not why I am bitter.
I was already pissed about lots of things, as someone said to me on one rare occasion i am spoken to, I let my problems be shackles into the next day. I dont even want to think about how long my shackles are, they are most likely damn long, 5 years of... unhappiness, with touches of happiness in between that have eroded over time. I hesitate to talk to my father because he is at work, same with my mother. My classmates already think of me enough of a freak, why bother talking to them, there is no point. I just left school, cant carry on for today.
I look at my life and feel bloody ashamed, I have suffered and have loss interest in going on. I am tired of working, I am tired of being alone and I am tired of being to blame, I am tired of being me. I really am. The only help i think i can do for myself is to end my life.
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It's a JOURNEY... Before you reach the end of the tunnel, how would you know who you are to meet?Originally posted by men_@_arms:interesting, elsewhere they say one needs people to help them. I dont have people. It should be done alone, that way i dont bother anyone. There is just so much pain and anguish which i want to end, how could I have been so foolish to go on and on for years, it should have been done earlier.What the hell else have I got other than 10 points? ffs -
TRUST me one's life can be much WORSE than this... The WORSE is when you've decided to make it more awful....Originally posted by men_@_arms:My problems???
My ethnicity, which is a barrier. There is no point in life because it is so unlucky for me. There is too much to do at school, there is no one to talk to at school, or at least they dont talk to me, whenever i try i dont get much transmission back toward me. My fucken home, no one's home most of the time, i'm alone. We dont eat together, dad's always out, mum is in more, but i have no time to like interact, got work. I hesitate to call them now, cos i fear i will, NO i WILL bother them. I feel so isolated and misunderstood. I have the symptoms mentioned above on and off frequently. And all along I thought being negative was just my character, but i never was negative... until i went to secondary school, all the shit started. I am an abomination to people, i am not a good person, i cannot match up to people and be accepted. I AM ugly and fat. I just slog day to day with not much incentive. I am sick of this. We all have no time to fix the place, the place is always in a mess. Booze does not help anymore. -
Just curious, how old are you?Originally posted by men_@_arms:SImply put,, I am ME and that is the problem which should never have existed, I should never have been. I must rectify that.
I used to share the same mentality as you, and perhaps I still do? Well... Doesn't really bother me that much now anyway?
I figured out that since I'm born into this world, be it pain or laughter... Might as well just accept the fact? And the fact I believe is... Make the BEST out of it.... -
If you want, you can PM me.Originally posted by men_@_arms:And i calmed down with no help. No one spoke to me. I am just weird and mad, face reality i should.