Ugly ducklings
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Hmm – it’s that season again. With less than 48 hours to Valentine’s Day, we’ve had crash-and-burn stories from Ice_princess83 and LazerLordz - there’s plenty of space on the casualty list.
Were I to be younger and more cynical, I’d be asking, “What the hell’s the point? You’re just running into brick walls for no good end”.
No, no, no, no, no!
As Singapore Tyrannosaur has proposed within another context, take a look at the bigger picture. WhatÂ’s the object of the dating game, people?
Is it to zero in on The One (pardon the mathematical pun)? Perhaps. But is the one in front of you The One?
In all of the ValentineÂ’s-Day-related threads that I have seen, there are many posters here with a tale of woe to tell, myself included. Certainly one has to give oneself time to grieve and get accustomed to the new set of circumstances, but at the same time I see a lot of cynicism floating about on this forum.
Make no mistake about it, people – cynicism is only a paper-thin disguise for cowardice.
Zen is predicated upon three simple metaphorical statements:
“A mountain is a mountain and water is water”
“A mountain is not a mountain and water is not water”
“A mountain truly is a mountain and water truly is water”
Though I am not a Buddhist, much less a Zen Buddhist, this philosophy has always struck me as making a hell of a lot of sense. We start out naïve, taking everything at face value. As we go along, we learn that not everything is as it seems, so we treat every new thing with disbelief and cynicism. However, we reach a higher level of understanding of the ways of the world, by which we take the trouble to assess everything on its own merits, and as such develop an understanding and acceptance of the true nature of everything – that is how we get past cynicism. The Zen Buddhists hold that not everybody reaches that ultimate stage, because it takes a lot of soul-searching and effort to get there.
From the number of people in their mid-40Â’s and onwards who stay stuck in a world of cynicism, hell, IÂ’d say that them Zen guys are right.
Can I blame people for proving them right? Hell, no. Let’s face it – life has a tendency to knock us around like pinballs. Regardless of our insight and intellect, there’s always going to be at least one thing that’s going to come all the way out of left field to clobber us right in the temple. Get yourself knocked around enough times, and if you’re half-smart, you’ll know the meaning of fear.
If we bring up the topic of fear, it is almost inevitable that we bring up courage. Courage is not a question of not having fear. Indeed, I pity the man who knows no fear – life will find a way of arranging an introduction between him and fear, and he will not know what to do then. Courage is acknowledging your fear, embracing it and working your way through it. Dammit, the human race has gotten to where it is on that principle.
So go out, experience, push the boundaries, hit the wall, feel fear, face it and by God, work through that fear, for that is what makes you human. As the Bear says, “Love! Damn the consequences!”.
Happy ValentineÂ’s day, people. -
i see i got quoted
but seriously, i am kinda taken aback these days, for the cynics amongst us are getting younger and younger..
or have we lost the courage to seek out happiness by ourselves, wanting it to be handed to us on a silver platter, then complain that the platter wasn't platinum?
heck! i'm 34.. one of these days, i think i'll find love... to become cynical and jaded would be to surrender what makes me human...
i'm human.. warts and all
Love! Damn the consequences!
a happy valentine's day to all lovers out there
and a happy one to, to those who are alone.. you'll find yours one day, only if you have the courage to go out and find him or her -
so cheem.. only caught the jist of it. but from wat you say, i conclude i would either be stuck in this "i give up" state or move to the "ain't that bad afterall" state. i hope i do reach that concept behind the "last stage of zen" (note: i no believe in zen). good thread.. sets me thinking....
happy valentine's day to all!!!
to those in love: may sweetness follow you always
to those out of love: hang in there
to those not in love: avoid going out cos everywhere is crowded!
-
Don : )
Happee V Day to u, simply cosh u're my fren : )
RPOriginally posted by the_don:
so cheem.. only caught the jist of it. but from wat you say, i conclude i would either be stuck in this "i give up" state or move to the "ain't that bad afterall" state. i hope i do reach that concept behind the "last stage of zen" (note: i no believe in zen). good thread.. sets me thinking....
happy valentine's day to all!!!
to those in love: may sweetness follow you always
to those out of love: hang in there
to those not in love: avoid going out cos everywhere is crowded! -
Object of the dating game: To love someone & to haf tt someone love u back.
There're so many risks in love. But then again, aren't there many risks in life too?
If u can give life a chance, why Not love?
RPOriginally posted by Gedanken:Hmm – it’s that season again. With less than 48 hours to Valentine’s Day, we’ve had crash-and-burn stories from Ice_princess83 and LazerLordz - there’s plenty of space on the casualty list.
Were I to be younger and more cynical, I’d be asking, “What the hell’s the point? You’re just running into brick walls for no good end”.
No, no, no, no, no!
As Singapore Tyrannosaur has proposed within another context, take a look at the bigger picture. WhatÂ’s the object of the dating game, people?
Is it to zero in on The One (pardon the mathematical pun)? Perhaps. But is the one in front of you The One?
In all of the ValentineÂ’s-Day-related threads that I have seen, there are many posters here with a tale of woe to tell, myself included. Certainly one has to give oneself time to grieve and get accustomed to the new set of circumstances, but at the same time I see a lot of cynicism floating about on this forum.
Make no mistake about it, people – cynicism is only a paper-thin disguise for cowardice.
Zen is predicated upon three simple metaphorical statements:
“A mountain is a mountain and water is water”
“A mountain is not a mountain and water is not water”
“A mountain truly is a mountain and water truly is water”
Though I am not a Buddhist, much less a Zen Buddhist, this philosophy has always struck me as making a hell of a lot of sense. We start out naïve, taking everything at face value. As we go along, we learn that not everything is as it seems, so we treat every new thing with disbelief and cynicism. However, we reach a higher level of understanding of the ways of the world, by which we take the trouble to assess everything on its own merits, and as such develop an understanding and acceptance of the true nature of everything – that is how we get past cynicism. The Zen Buddhists hold that not everybody reaches that ultimate stage, because it takes a lot of soul-searching and effort to get there.
From the number of people in their mid-40Â’s and onwards who stay stuck in a world of cynicism, hell, IÂ’d say that them Zen guys are right.
Can I blame people for proving them right? Hell, no. Let’s face it – life has a tendency to knock us around like pinballs. Regardless of our insight and intellect, there’s always going to be at least one thing that’s going to come all the way out of left field to clobber us right in the temple. Get yourself knocked around enough times, and if you’re half-smart, you’ll know the meaning of fear.
If we bring up the topic of fear, it is almost inevitable that we bring up courage. Courage is not a question of not having fear. Indeed, I pity the man who knows no fear – life will find a way of arranging an introduction between him and fear, and he will not know what to do then. Courage is acknowledging your fear, embracing it and working your way through it. Dammit, the human race has gotten to where it is on that principle.
So go out, experience, push the boundaries, hit the wall, feel fear, face it and by God, work through that fear, for that is what makes you human. As the Bear says, “Love! Damn the consequences!”.
Happy ValentineÂ’s day, people. -
wEe-U-weE... ~Originally posted by Gedanken:Hmm – it’s that season again. With less than 48 hours to Valentine’s Day, we’ve had crash-and-burn stories from Ice_princess83 and LazerLordz - there’s plenty of space on the casualty list.
Were I to be younger and more cynical, I’d be asking, “What the hell’s the point? You’re just running into brick walls for no good end”.
No, no, no, no, no!
As Singapore Tyrannosaur has proposed within another context, take a look at the bigger picture. WhatÂ’s the object of the dating game, people?
Is it to zero in on The One (pardon the mathematical pun)? Perhaps. But is the one in front of you The One?
In all of the ValentineÂ’s-Day-related threads that I have seen, there are many posters here with a tale of woe to tell, myself included. Certainly one has to give oneself time to grieve and get accustomed to the new set of circumstances, but at the same time I see a lot of cynicism floating about on this forum.
Make no mistake about it, people – cynicism is only a paper-thin disguise for cowardice.
Zen is predicated upon three simple metaphorical statements:
“A mountain is a mountain and water is water”
“A mountain is not a mountain and water is not water”
“A mountain truly is a mountain and water truly is water”
Though I am not a Buddhist, much less a Zen Buddhist, this philosophy has always struck me as making a hell of a lot of sense. We start out naïve, taking everything at face value. As we go along, we learn that not everything is as it seems, so we treat every new thing with disbelief and cynicism. However, we reach a higher level of understanding of the ways of the world, by which we take the trouble to assess everything on its own merits, and as such develop an understanding and acceptance of the true nature of everything – that is how we get past cynicism. The Zen Buddhists hold that not everybody reaches that ultimate stage, because it takes a lot of soul-searching and effort to get there.
From the number of people in their mid-40Â’s and onwards who stay stuck in a world of cynicism, hell, IÂ’d say that them Zen guys are right.
Can I blame people for proving them right? Hell, no. Let’s face it – life has a tendency to knock us around like pinballs. Regardless of our insight and intellect, there’s always going to be at least one thing that’s going to come all the way out of left field to clobber us right in the temple. Get yourself knocked around enough times, and if you’re half-smart, you’ll know the meaning of fear.
If we bring up the topic of fear, it is almost inevitable that we bring up courage. Courage is not a question of not having fear. Indeed, I pity the man who knows no fear – life will find a way of arranging an introduction between him and fear, and he will not know what to do then. Courage is acknowledging your fear, embracing it and working your way through it. Dammit, the human race has gotten to where it is on that principle.
So go out, experience, push the boundaries, hit the wall, feel fear, face it and by God, work through that fear, for that is what makes you human. As the Bear says, “Love! Damn the consequences!”.
Happy ValentineÂ’s day, people.
*claps*
Cheers -
there's so many things in this world to achieve apart from love...
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well, love makes the world go round,Originally posted by Inzaghi:there's so many things in this world to achieve apart from love...
to me love (no matter parental love, friendship, BGRs, urm, GGRs, BBrs) enrich life, well, its also mean kindness and love for fellow human beanz -
but if it is achieve without love.. what's the purpose?Originally posted by Inzaghi:there's so many things in this world to achieve apart from love...
you have to desire a car enough to want save up for it.. -
All we need in this world is love, faith and hope
-
i can understand how some ppl feel. its hard to fight that knot in ur stomach, cold clammy palms and that hot flushed face (or cold white face, depending on the individual). but ur situation will hardly improve without trying SO screw ur fear, ur pride and ur ego and for once in ur life, do something that u think u will regret (but hey, at least u did something). to rephrase it, "Love! Damn that pride and ego!". Cupid can't shoot arrows if u hide in that armoured shell of urs.Originally posted by Gedanken:So go out, experience, push the boundaries, hit the wall, feel fear, face it and by God, work through that fear, for that is what makes you human. As the Bear says, “Love! Damn the consequences!”.
Happy ValentineÂ’s day, people. -
I disagree, but nicely disagree
Love is NOT an achievement, & shd NOT be measured as an achievement. Love is fulfilling : ) And it gives u fulfilment Doesn't hafta be a partner. Knowing ur parents will always be there to support ur decisions & choices gives u confidence to try new thgs, explore new avenues, etc : )
RPOriginally posted by Inzaghi:there's so many things in this world to achieve apart from love... -
Originally posted by the Bear:i see i got quoted
but seriously, i am kinda taken aback these days, for the cynics amongst us are getting younger and younger..
or have we lost the courage to seek out happiness by ourselves, wanting it to be handed to us on a silver platter, then complain that the platter wasn't platinum?
heck! i'm 34.. one of these days, i think i'll find love... to become cynical and jaded would be to surrender what makes me human...
i'm human.. warts and all
Saturdae got WWE Royal Rumble~~~!!!!!!
Love! Damn the consequences!
a happy valentine's day to all lovers out there
and a happy one to, to those who are alone.. you'll find yours one day, only if you have the courage to go out and find him or her -
No comments... I rather tired of listening to ppl saying "things" regarding V dae... Royal Rumble~~~!!!!!!Originally posted by Gedanken:Hmm – it’s that season again. With less than 48 hours to Valentine’s Day, we’ve had crash-and-burn stories from Ice_princess83 and LazerLordz - there’s plenty of space on the casualty list.
Were I to be younger and more cynical, I’d be asking, “What the hell’s the point? You’re just running into brick walls for no good end”.
No, no, no, no, no!
As Singapore Tyrannosaur has proposed within another context, take a look at the bigger picture. WhatÂ’s the object of the dating game, people?
Is it to zero in on The One (pardon the mathematical pun)? Perhaps. But is the one in front of you The One?
In all of the ValentineÂ’s-Day-related threads that I have seen, there are many posters here with a tale of woe to tell, myself included. Certainly one has to give oneself time to grieve and get accustomed to the new set of circumstances, but at the same time I see a lot of cynicism floating about on this forum.
Make no mistake about it, people – cynicism is only a paper-thin disguise for cowardice.
Zen is predicated upon three simple metaphorical statements:
“A mountain is a mountain and water is water”
“A mountain is not a mountain and water is not water”
“A mountain truly is a mountain and water truly is water”
Though I am not a Buddhist, much less a Zen Buddhist, this philosophy has always struck me as making a hell of a lot of sense. We start out naïve, taking everything at face value. As we go along, we learn that not everything is as it seems, so we treat every new thing with disbelief and cynicism. However, we reach a higher level of understanding of the ways of the world, by which we take the trouble to assess everything on its own merits, and as such develop an understanding and acceptance of the true nature of everything – that is how we get past cynicism. The Zen Buddhists hold that not everybody reaches that ultimate stage, because it takes a lot of soul-searching and effort to get there.
From the number of people in their mid-40Â’s and onwards who stay stuck in a world of cynicism, hell, IÂ’d say that them Zen guys are right.
Can I blame people for proving them right? Hell, no. Let’s face it – life has a tendency to knock us around like pinballs. Regardless of our insight and intellect, there’s always going to be at least one thing that’s going to come all the way out of left field to clobber us right in the temple. Get yourself knocked around enough times, and if you’re half-smart, you’ll know the meaning of fear.
If we bring up the topic of fear, it is almost inevitable that we bring up courage. Courage is not a question of not having fear. Indeed, I pity the man who knows no fear – life will find a way of arranging an introduction between him and fear, and he will not know what to do then. Courage is acknowledging your fear, embracing it and working your way through it. Dammit, the human race has gotten to where it is on that principle.
So go out, experience, push the boundaries, hit the wall, feel fear, face it and by God, work through that fear, for that is what makes you human. As the Bear says, “Love! Damn the consequences!”.
Happy ValentineÂ’s day, people. -
its not about V day specifically dude. its about not denying oneself and seize the dayOriginally posted by Bontakun:No comments... I rather tired of listening to ppl saying "things" regarding V dae... Royal Rumble~~~!!!!!! -
I got Ah Ma...
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Oh...... Royal Rumble~~~!!!Originally posted by JLennon:its not about V day specifically dude. its about not denying oneself and seize the day -
One of my DEAREST EX told me this....Originally posted by RainbowPrincess:Object of the dating game: To love someone & to haf tt someone love u back.
There're so many risks in love. But then again, aren't there many risks in life too?
If u can give life a chance, why Not love?
RP -
its the Farmer's turn to make a super long post..
Gendy and the Bunny have made good points. Telling people how its all worth it, banging yourself on that hard cold wall. Love is a wonderful and mysterious thing. Those willing to explore it will be rewarded with experiences that you'll find no where else in life. It teaches us the hardest facts of life yet at the same time, it can fill us up with the most wonderful indescribable feeling in the world(which is what gendy and the bunny are feeling now) I say to all, GIVE LOVE A CHANCE. embrace it. experience it. revel in its wonders. BUT a word of advice. dun take it too seriously why? lemme explain:
love is a part of life. something we will all experience some time, some way in our life. we can't escape it no matter how hard you try. I'm not asking all of u to take it for granted or not pay heed to it's call. I'm asking u not to devote your entire existance to it.
i made the mistake of doing it(twice). i gave up MY life. i gave up EVERYTHING i could for love. or rather.. to receive love. in the end, i got badly burnt. even though i was the one that pulled the plug(twice as well) i still felt like the victim. yes both girls did ask for a second chance. but i'm not one for second chances after i gave up my entire existance to them(stupid don't u think?)
as i said above. i'm not tellin u to ignore love. pay attention to it and its lessons. give a lil of yourself.. maybe more of yourself then u would for other matters. make that extra effort, yes. spend a lil bit more time, yes.
in the end. we all gotta leave this world. and when that time comes, u aren't gonna be able to take anything away from this earth. not even love. but who's stopping you from experiencing and giving all the love you want?
love with your heart, with your mind at times. but do always remember to keep your eye's open lest you fall into love's trap...
happy v day to all the couple's out there. i really wish you the most blissful of times on that day or love.
for those love-less and disillusioned ones(like me) i wish you love. i hope that you find it soon or rather i hope it will find you soon. don't lose hope... but don't keep hoping for it as well... -
thank you RPOriginally posted by RainbowPrincess:Don : )
Happee V Day to u, simply cosh u're my fren : )
RP
happy V day to u too! have a wonderful time with your other half
-
Agreed, Farmer Brown. However, I don't really see it as giving yourself per se. Certainly you have to get into it, but at the end of the day it's more about the both of you gaining something when, as two seperate entities, intertwine and are enriched by the relationship.
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Pls hor, rest assured, I'm NOT 1 of ur dearest exes
RPOriginally posted by Devil1976:One of my DEAREST EX told me this.... -
Farmer Brown,
If u meant being clingy when u mentioned giving ur life to ur exes, mebbi u cld give ur next gf some space? : )
RPOriginally posted by Farmer Brown:its the Farmer's turn to make a super long post..
Gendy and the Bunny have made good points. Telling people how its all worth it, banging yourself on that hard cold wall. Love is a wonderful and mysterious thing. Those willing to explore it will be rewarded with experiences that you'll find no where else in life. It teaches us the hardest facts of life yet at the same time, it can fill us up with the most wonderful indescribable feeling in the world(which is what gendy and the bunny are feeling now) I say to all, GIVE LOVE A CHANCE. embrace it. experience it. revel in its wonders. BUT a word of advice. dun take it too seriously why? lemme explain:
love is a part of life. something we will all experience some time, some way in our life. we can't escape it no matter how hard you try. I'm not asking all of u to take it for granted or not pay heed to it's call. I'm asking u not to devote your entire existance to it.
i made the mistake of doing it(twice). i gave up MY life. i gave up EVERYTHING i could for love. or rather.. to receive love. in the end, i got badly burnt. even though i was the one that pulled the plug(twice as well) i still felt like the victim. yes both girls did ask for a second chance. but i'm not one for second chances after i gave up my entire existance to them(stupid don't u think?)
as i said above. i'm not tellin u to ignore love. pay attention to it and its lessons. give a lil of yourself.. maybe more of yourself then u would for other matters. make that extra effort, yes. spend a lil bit more time, yes.
in the end. we all gotta leave this world. and when that time comes, u aren't gonna be able to take anything away from this earth. not even love. but who's stopping you from experiencing and giving all the love you want?
love with your heart, with your mind at times. but do always remember to keep your eye's open lest you fall into love's trap...
happy v day to all the couple's out there. i really wish you the most blissful of times on that day or love.
for those love-less and disillusioned ones(like me) i wish you love. i hope that you find it soon or rather i hope it will find you soon. don't lose hope... but don't keep hoping for it as well... -
This article is well-written. I'm impressed. Impressed with a tinge of sorrow.Originally posted by Gedanken:Hmm – it’s that season again. With less than 48 hours to Valentine’s Day, we’ve had crash-and-burn stories from Ice_princess83 and LazerLordz - there’s plenty of space on the casualty list.
Were I to be younger and more cynical, I’d be asking, “What the hell’s the point? You’re just running into brick walls for no good end”.
No, no, no, no, no!
As Singapore Tyrannosaur has proposed within another context, take a look at the bigger picture. WhatÂ’s the object of the dating game, people?
Is it to zero in on The One (pardon the mathematical pun)? Perhaps. But is the one in front of you The One?
In all of the ValentineÂ’s-Day-related threads that I have seen, there are many posters here with a tale of woe to tell, myself included. Certainly one has to give oneself time to grieve and get accustomed to the new set of circumstances, but at the same time I see a lot of cynicism floating about on this forum.
Make no mistake about it, people – cynicism is only a paper-thin disguise for cowardice.
Zen is predicated upon three simple metaphorical statements:
“A mountain is a mountain and water is water”
“A mountain is not a mountain and water is not water”
“A mountain truly is a mountain and water truly is water”
Though I am not a Buddhist, much less a Zen Buddhist, this philosophy has always struck me as making a hell of a lot of sense. We start out naïve, taking everything at face value. As we go along, we learn that not everything is as it seems, so we treat every new thing with disbelief and cynicism. However, we reach a higher level of understanding of the ways of the world, by which we take the trouble to assess everything on its own merits, and as such develop an understanding and acceptance of the true nature of everything – that is how we get past cynicism. The Zen Buddhists hold that not everybody reaches that ultimate stage, because it takes a lot of soul-searching and effort to get there.
From the number of people in their mid-40Â’s and onwards who stay stuck in a world of cynicism, hell, IÂ’d say that them Zen guys are right.
Can I blame people for proving them right? Hell, no. Let’s face it – life has a tendency to knock us around like pinballs. Regardless of our insight and intellect, there’s always going to be at least one thing that’s going to come all the way out of left field to clobber us right in the temple. Get yourself knocked around enough times, and if you’re half-smart, you’ll know the meaning of fear.
If we bring up the topic of fear, it is almost inevitable that we bring up courage. Courage is not a question of not having fear. Indeed, I pity the man who knows no fear – life will find a way of arranging an introduction between him and fear, and he will not know what to do then. Courage is acknowledging your fear, embracing it and working your way through it. Dammit, the human race has gotten to where it is on that principle.
So go out, experience, push the boundaries, hit the wall, feel fear, face it and by God, work through that fear, for that is what makes you human. As the Bear says, “Love! Damn the consequences!”.
Happy ValentineÂ’s day, people.
-
well.. thats what i meant actually when i said not to give yourself fully.. hahaOriginally posted by Gedanken:Certainly you have to get into it, but at the end of the day it's more about the both of you gaining something when, as two seperate entities, intertwine and are enriched by the relationship.