Okie Qoo, I've thot long & hard abt this, & the only thg I can come close to this situation is 1 of my past, so @ the risk of being judged, I'll share it wif u.
I was in Sec 4 when I lost the person I loved most in all my 16 yrs, my granddad. It happened in July, v. close to my promos & my O Levels. Words cldn't express the loss I felt, & still feel today.
Somehow, I managed to enter JCs, & from there came a downward spiral. I lost the motivation to study, I missed the fonecalls in the late afternoons from Granddad, asking me wat I wanted for a snack. In my depression, I lost sight of wat he wanted me to do, which was to graduate. My grades deteriorated, I was flunking ev. thg, & eventually, I dropped out of JC.
Thgs only got worse, I hung out wif pple who din haf a goal in life, I made my parents sick wif anxiety, & even lashed out @ them, somethg which I feel ashamed of, & I'm still making amends to them now...
I went out to work, but cldn't hold a job for v. long. Then this is wat Dad did to eventually make me get on wif life. I wldn't recommend u do this, but this was wat worked for me. Dad took it upon himself to insult me, to reduce me to tears, to make me feel small & insignificant. Yrs later, he wld tell me abt his heartbreak @ doing so, but @ tt time, he wanted me to be defiant & to show him I cld make it.
At the same time, he got my closest cuzs & frens to speak to me, & to encourage me.
Being a hot-tempered, rebellious lass, I sought to prove him wrong, which was wat he'd hoped I'd do. Wif my cuzs & frens encouraging me, I went to seek info again on going back to my studies. Thgs got better from there, & eventually, I made it to uni, returned to SG, got my banking job, & the rest, is history.
From there, my r'ship wif my parents improved, & as we sat down to tok, they reduced me to tears when they spoke of their heartbreak, & wat they did to spur me on, despite knowing their harsh words wld sting & make me cry. That was why they arranged support for me, & thankfully, there were cuzs & frens who cared enuff to offer to show support & to give me encouragement.
So perhaps u might try wat my cuzs & frens did. I wun recommend Dad's treatment, cosh ur cuz seems v. fragile, whereas Dad knew I was 1 of the most defiant pple alive.
Encourage ur cuz to do somethg he will be proud of, & his folks & frens will be proud of. It will be tough, pls help & guide him along.
Again, pls keep me posted on this. I'm v. interested in his welfare.
RP
Originally posted by Qoo`~`:
hmmm im really at wits end... he came back form camp laast night....
he's sick.. got fever... haiz....