financial aspects in a realtionship
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Originally posted by CuTiE~~:
just my personal naive opinions
but how will you handle this issue if
both are still schooling...but the guy's getting more pocket money than the gal...
-both parties should pay their own share when going out together, but if the guy wants to pay for the gal, then it's his business. the guy is in NS...gal is schooling..
-i really do not know
very tricky. gal is working, guy is still schooling...will you expect the gal to pay for most of the meals, expenses together?
-i would expect the guy to pay for both [b]only if he can afford it. but the gal should not take it for granted that the guy will pay for everything
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agreed... each pay their own....Originally posted by X-men:agreed in general
money makes the world goes round.
but money and r/s should not mix. You pay your own bills.. I pay mine. You need help ask for it BUT dont abuse it. -
the essential thing is that both parties should not put the issue of money above the relationship..
but that doesn't mean that one should allow the other person to abuse it to a point when one is over-dependant on another financially.. -
in fact we don't have any spend money activities...just once in a blue blue moon...Originally posted by Ah Ma:huh hw come lidat 1? nt becos u work then mus pay for everyting mah. mayb u all dn do so many spend money activities lor. tat can reduce expenses spent.
i can say only expenditure is only on meals together...
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then settle for cheaper meals at hawker centre etc?? tat kind of budget he should be able to pay his own right??Originally posted by CuTiE~~:in fact we don't have any spend money activities...just once in a blue blue moon...
i can say only expenditure is only on meals together... -
eat very expensive meals??Originally posted by CuTiE~~:in fact we don't have any spend money activities...just once in a blue blue moon...
i can say only expenditure is only on meals together...
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sometimes, he does pay for both parties...Originally posted by KittynMeow:then settle for cheaper meals at hawker centre etc?? tat kind of budget he should be able to pay his own right??
but i oso swear that I have contributed my part.....
but he said that he feels i take the issue of money very hard...& the ratio of him paying vs i pay...is higher...
& he starts to bring out those days whereby he paid for most of the times when we both are still schooling...
i just don't understand...y has a simple relationship gone to such complicated path...
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sounds like he's either becoming dependent cos you're earning $$ or he's feeling insecure... that he doesn't earn $$ / enough $$ to "support" gf??Originally posted by CuTiE~~:sometimes, he does pay for both parties...
but i oso swear that I have contributed my part.....
but he said that he feels i take the issue of money very hard...& the ratio of him paying vs i pay...is higher...
& he starts to bring out those days whereby he paid for most of the times when we both are still schooling...
i just don't understand...y has a simple relationship gone to such complicated path...
mebbe to be fair, from now on, each pay for your own meal?? at least he got no issue to raise?? -
i assume you're both of the same age.. you're working and he's in university after army..
he's just feeling the strain of spending money..
perhaps, encourage him to take a part-time job.. -
that's the way... makes life easier for everyone .....Originally posted by X-men:but money and r/s should not mix. You pay your own bills.. I pay mine. You need help ask for it BUT dont abuse it. -
we don't splurge at expensive restaurants...
always settle for simple meals at hawker centres...
he told me it's an issue of ego...
cos now i'm earning...he is not...
where my topic revolves round shopping...while he is talking about making ends meet with his pocket money...
whenever i am with him, i understand his plight & try to pay for meals unless at that very moment, my wallet don't have enough..
i feel like ending this relationship...things have gotten so complicated...i really dunno how to resolve them...
unhappy events keep flashing on my mind...ignite anger & hatred.......
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Originally posted by CuTiE~~:
perhaps breaking up might be better for both parties?
we don't splurge at expensive restaurants...
always settle for simple meals at hawker centres...
he told me it's an issue of ego...
cos now i'm earning...he is not...
where my topic revolves round shopping...while he is talking about making ends meet with his pocket money...
whenever i am with him, i understand his plight & try to pay for meals unless at that very moment, my wallet don't have enough..
i feel like ending this relationship...things have gotten so complicated...i really dunno how to resolve them...
unhappy events keep flashing on my mind...ignite anger & hatred.......
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I understand,.. this kind very hard to resolve the issue cos the issue is in his head (what he's thinking and his ego). Encourage him to take up tuition so that he can earn a bit every month... then wun feel so bad on the ego. And try not to talk abt shopping... there are many other things happening ard the world to talk abt....Originally posted by CuTiE~~:we don't splurge at expensive restaurants...
always settle for simple meals at hawker centres...
he told me it's an issue of ego...
cos now i'm earning...he is not...
where my topic revolves round shopping...while he is talking about making ends meet with his pocket money...
whenever i am with him, i understand his plight & try to pay for meals unless at that very moment, my wallet don't have enough..
i feel like ending this relationship...things have gotten so complicated...i really dunno how to resolve them...
unhappy events keep flashing on my mind...ignite anger & hatred.......
and try not to think too much abt the unhappy moments.. think of the happy times... -
i seldom mention about shopping...just that he does not feel good when he sees me buying things...Originally posted by KittynMeow:I understand,.. this kind very hard to resolve the issue cos the issue is in his head (what he's thinking and his ego). Encourage him to take up tuition so that he can earn a bit every month... then wun feel so bad on the ego. And try not to talk abt shopping... there are many other things happening ard the world to talk abt....
and try not to think too much abt the unhappy moments.. think of the happy times...
i ever encouraged him to take up tuition...but he told me he does not like to give tuition...
my stand is, who on earth likes to give tuition..or rather work...? but as long as it can help to lighten up ones burden, i dun see why not... -
Haiz.... *pat pat*Originally posted by CuTiE~~:i seldom mention about shopping...just that he does not feel good when he sees me buying things...
i ever encouraged him to take up tuition...but he told me he does not like to give tuition...
my stand is, who on earth likes to give tuition..or rather work...? but as long as it can help to lighten up ones burden, i dun see why not...
just take it step by step lah.. you still young... dun let such things get you down... -
haiz...sometimes i also think i am thinking too much into it...Originally posted by KittynMeow:Haiz.... *pat pat*
just take it step by step lah.. you still young... dun let such things get you down...
perhaps i should just forget it & take one step at a time?
but i frequently ask myself...is he the one? -
since you already have doubts, why still carry on the burden?Originally posted by CuTiE~~:haiz...sometimes i also think i am thinking too much into it...
perhaps i should just forget it & take one step at a time?
but i frequently ask myself...is he the one? -
yes, take things one step at a time..Originally posted by CuTiE~~:haiz...sometimes i also think i am thinking too much into it...
perhaps i should just forget it & take one step at a time?
but i frequently ask myself...is he the one?
time will tell.. -
I) Doesn't matterOriginally posted by CuTiE~~:but how will you handle this issue if both are still schooling...but the guy's getting more pocket money than the gal... the guy is in NS...gal is schooling.. gal is working, guy is still schooling...will you expect the gal to pay for most of the meals, expenses together?
II) Doesn't matter
III) Doesn't matter. Who got money, want to pay, pay - it's really worrying and questioning the identity of your relationship when your guy were to say 'you working, got more money, you pay for meals.' Have your relationship reduce to nothing but calculative expenses?
Don't get me wrong: Even if he has no money - if he were to fork out whatever he could, be it 2 dollars or so, doesn't he display quality that says 'I don't want you to carry full burden.'
The initial thought and the body language carries more weightage than words like 'I love you.'
Cheers -
Alot of good replies in here...
Just to round things up. I agree that 'cross-over' from personal spending in a couple should be minimial unless you're talking about IMPORTANT and URGENT expense to be forked out... (then again, don't be too naive and get cheated too easily... )
Spending in a relationship can be 'controlled' somehow... The kinda activities you go out for and such... Just like your own spendings in life.. Go for what you CAN afford... -
dear all~
thks so much for your opinions/views/consolation........
indeed i feel much better after pouring out my feelings out here...
perhaps seeing it in another light, in all relationships there are bound to be some problems here & there...perhaps how it develops greatly depends on how each of us view the issues...?
undeniable...there will be some good pts in our partners...it lies with where our focus is...
i wish all of u well in your relationship with ur other half........
of course, i will also keep my fingers crossed for mine... -
Finances is so important in the relationship..
I'm sure if you're liberal with money you wouldn't want to be with a tight arse.
Also my boyfriend and I fight over buying a residential house for ourselves. I used to get really violent by driving like a maniac and scaring the hell out of him. Once i even threw him out of the car and drove off. Hehehehe.. -
wah fierce.... too fierce... kekekeOriginally posted by Lingos:Finances is so important in the relationship..
I'm sure if you're liberal with money you wouldn't want to be with a tight arse.
Also my boyfriend and I fight over buying a residential house for ourselves. I used to get really violent by driving like a maniac and scaring the hell out of him. Once i even threw him out of the car and drove off. Hehehehe.. -
Originally posted by Lingos:Finances is so important in the relationship..
I'm sure if you're liberal with money you wouldn't want to be with a tight arse.
Also my boyfriend and I fight over buying a residential house for ourselves. I used to get really violent by driving like a maniac and scaring the hell out of him. Once i even threw him out of the car and drove off. Hehehehe..
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x2. Totally agree. My view is finance is one of the foundation in a relationship (well, at least in Singapore I think)Originally posted by narz:you can do w/o love but you can't do w/o money.