Some questions on BGR
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Why does a gal behave this way:
She is troubled by a relationship with a guy and when the guy approached her, she will say she had already get on/move on with life and she even asked the guy to look for someone better but after some "testing" was done on her thru questioning her, she is seen to still care for the guy but why does she LIE!!!!!????
Why can't she tell the truth that she still have feeling for the guy?
Why she SAY DOES NOT MATCH HOW SHE ACTUALLY FEEL/WANT?
Anyone had encountered such situation before? -
Its a matter of " Face. "
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mayb the feeling still hard to go away ah
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mian zi
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Originally posted by bus:Why does a gal behave this way:
She is troubled by a relationship with a guy and when the guy approached her, she will say she had already get on/move on with life and she even asked the guy to look for someone better but after some "testing" was done on her thru questioning her, she is seen to still care for the guy but why does she LIE!!!!!????
Why can't she tell the truth that she still have feeling for the guy?
Why she SAY DOES NOT MATCH HOW SHE ACTUALLY FEEL/WANT?
Anyone had encountered such situation before?
I believe it's the same situation you had posted last year and I had already address them in details.
All I have to say is 'Welcome to Understanding-Woman Lesson 1.'
I believe she is:
I) TV drama/Movie fan.
II) If she is a book reader - she reads romance-kind of book.
P.S: Is she a Pisces, Cancer or Scorpio? (Did I ever asked you that? I have forgotten. )
Cheers -
she's not lying.. she's just no facing the truth. she doesn't want to admit to the pain and suffering cause that would mean having to grovel in front of her guy. its embarassing and stupid...but then again.. knowing the truth and not facing up to it isn't ver smart either
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mayb she doesnt want to carry on the relationship..
feeling dun juz disappear within hrs...it takes time..
she mayb really moved on wif her life...but mayb becos that guy was someone she once loved, it natural that she still cared. esp when the relationship has ended nt too long ago.. -
she still have him in heart? but she has set up her mind to move on ? that;'s why she will respond in this way ?
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what I think this happen when the one she love is impossible to be together, she loves that guy but she confuse that she could end up with him or not, but the guy that approached her seems to care and love her more than.Originally posted by bus:Why does a gal behave this way:
She is troubled by a relationship with a guy and when the guy approached her, she will say she had already get on/move on with life and she even asked the guy to look for someone better but after some "testing" was done on her thru questioning her, she is seen to still care for the guy but why does she LIE!!!!!????
Why can't she tell the truth that she still have feeling for the guy?
Why she SAY DOES NOT MATCH HOW SHE ACTUALLY FEEL/WANT?
Anyone had encountered such situation before?
the guy she love should be a married,divorcee or has a girl friend.
don't waste time on her, just keep in touch, else you lost money time and get nothing in return.
If you just keep in touch, your chance could be higher than you show her you going after her. -
gers sometimes dun wanna project out feeling and want the guy to knw she is alreadi ok. but in fact she is not Ok. she juz wanna hide it from him which i still duno the reason.
and like others say, she wanna keep her mian zhi and be xiao sha.. -
think she cannot not make up her mind...Originally posted by bus:Why does a gal behave this way:
She is troubled by a relationship with a guy and when the guy approached her, she will say she had already get on/move on with life and she even asked the guy to look for someone better but after some "testing" was done on her thru questioning her, she is seen to still care for the guy but why does she LIE!!!!!????
Why can't she tell the truth that she still have feeling for the guy?
Why she SAY DOES NOT MATCH HOW SHE ACTUALLY FEEL/WANT?
Anyone had encountered such situation before?
something is causing her to have doubts...
maybe bad past r/s -
U need to post some challenges to her ..... Do try the following:
1)Get a new girlfriend and let her know that you (of cus not) really moving on liao.
2)Don's contact her at all.... no calls no meetups etc. zip -
Why not?Originally posted by bus:Why does a gal behave this way:
She is troubled by a relationship with a guy and when the guy approached her, she will say she had already get on/move on with life and she even asked the guy to look for someone better but after some "testing" was done on her thru questioning her, she is seen to still care for the guy but why does she LIE!!!!!????
Why can't she tell the truth that she still have feeling for the guy?
Why she SAY DOES NOT MATCH HOW SHE ACTUALLY FEEL/WANT?
Anyone had encountered such situation before? -
maybe she understand deep down inside it is impossible between both of them say cos of character incompatible. she still loves the guy, but want him to move on. sometimes it is a lot easier if a party move on, otherwise can drag on for months or years. love is not abt having the person with you, but what is best for that person, and maybe she understood this ...Originally posted by bus:Why does a gal behave this way:
She is troubled by a relationship with a guy and when the guy approached her, she will say she had already get on/move on with life and she even asked the guy to look for someone better but after some "testing" was done on her thru questioning her, she is seen to still care for the guy but why does she LIE!!!!!????
Why can't she tell the truth that she still have feeling for the guy?
Why she SAY DOES NOT MATCH HOW SHE ACTUALLY FEEL/WANT?
Anyone had encountered such situation before?
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maybe she also do not understands what she wants to do & is keeping all her options open?
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Hi, Yunhaier, U seem to be an expert in understanding a woman' I believe it's the same situation you had posted last year and I had already address them in details.
All I have to say is [b]'Welcome to Understanding-Woman Lesson 1.'
I believe she is:
I) TV drama/Movie fan.
II) If she is a book reader - she reads romance-kind of book.
P.S: Is she a Pisces, Cancer or Scorpio? (Did I ever asked you that? I have forgotten. )
Cheers[/b]
s heart. A Salute to U.
Yes, she is a novel reader. yes, she read those Romance type pf book BUT SHE TOLD ME SHE DOES NOT LIKE ROMANCE!!!!???
WHAT SHE SAID DOES NOT MATCH WHAT SHE DO?? WHY? IS SHE HIDING THE TRUTH? wHY SHE DOES THAT?
She is a Virgo by the way. Any problems with the Zodiac sign?
Hear from U again. -
To Yunhaier:
Yes, I have an argument with her again but she told me she cannot accept me and asked me to move on with life but when I asked "did U move on?" she keep quiet.
I challenged her to an old question:" i did ask U (her) out, giving a time frame to U (her) but U (she) cannot answer me(either a YES or NO) at that time"
But I mention again and once again she cannot answer me but give me a lame excuse: My approach is wrong in asking her out(What nonsense is that! she is escaping from reality)...I have been asking her out thru the usual way and she can meet me all time but till there is a tide/change in the association with her
She sounds weak when I keep asking the SAME question to her and she gaves lame excuse that she is tired and want to have an early night!!!!
She told me to keep in contact with her.
Am I that important to her? Why she still want to keep hold of me?
Few questions
1. She seems do not want to lose me (either as a friend or someone special which only she knows) and yet cannot answer any questions to my invitation to ask her out!!??
2. She told me she had moved on with life but she still remain the same thru some questions I pose to her and her "indecisiveness" in answering them. Basically she cannot get over herself!
3. I feel that there is basically no way to win over her if she chooses to remain where she is now....living in her own world.
Really sian and well, I have open up myself to new options but at tge same time, i just want to keep trying my luck on her again.
hear from U again. yunhaier. -
To Yunhaier:
May I know the reasons on why she still wants me to keep in contact with me. She used to hint to me not to forget her (I do not know why she wants me to do so till now)but when asking to go further.....she keep mum.
In a normal situation(most cases), the 2 will not be in contact after a quarrel/breakup but she still expects me to do so????
During the argument, I did told her "For the past 6 months, did U have spare a thought for my feelings?" ...she also keep mum.
When I asked her "will u commit yourself to a R/S, she told me YES but when I congratulate her, she also keep mum??
The strange part is the answer to that question "When can U come out (given a time frame to her)?"...It seems that this question holds the ANSWER to the WHOLE STORY what she is thinking.
I shall make my own assumption and please comment to my answer
1. If she say YES, she knew of my intention and she knew she is NOT READY to commit to any R/S till this moment of time.
2. If she say NO, she feels I will leave her which she DOES NOT want to see that to happen.
The BEST SOLUTION is to keep mum...keep me pending so that I can still be around? Am right to say that?
I also can say, she does have feeling for me but FEAR that I will hurt her again when she commits herself to me?
U mention to me that she is reading those sad roimance Novels to remind herself NOT TO FALL IN LOVE DUE TO HER SAD PAST...I feel that U are almost right after all..Any comments?
Hear from U so that I can chat with U more.....Thanks -
Originally posted by bus:To Yunhaier:
Yes, I have an argument with her again but she told me she cannot accept me and asked me to move on with life but when I asked "did U move on?" she keep quiet.
I challenged her to an old question:" i did ask U (her) out, giving a time frame to U (her) but U (she) cannot answer me(either a YES or NO) at that time"
But I mention again and once again she cannot answer me but give me a lame excuse: My approach is wrong in asking her out(What nonsense is that! she is escaping from reality)...I have been asking her out thru the usual way and she can meet me all time but till there is a tide/change in the association with her
She sounds weak when I keep asking the SAME question to her and she gaves lame excuse that she is tired and want to have an early night!!!!
She told me to keep in contact with her.
Am I that important to her? Why she still want to keep hold of me?
Few questions
1. She seems do not want to lose me (either as a friend or someone special which only she knows) and yet cannot answer any questions to my invitation to ask her out!!??
2. She told me she had moved on with life but she still remain the same thru some questions I pose to her and her "indecisiveness" in answering them. Basically she cannot get over herself!
3. I feel that there is basically no way to win over her if she chooses to remain where she is now....living in her own world.
Really sian and well, I have open up myself to new options but at tge same time, i just want to keep trying my luck on her again.
hear from U again. yunhaier. Ok, a virgo - a woman whose love is stimulated through the use of mental energy. Mercury her ruling planet, tend to make much more rational usage than emotional ones. She is the kind woman where there are conflicts between the mind and heart because they show different directions. Her inability to answer your question is because of her inability to make a decision to follow which side of her soul.
To explain the whole chunk of astro-like rubbish above: She demonstrate an unique quality that I would like to bring explain in details. You mentioned that she had undergo a bad relationship crisis which direct reduce her faith and morale in love. She is unable to release herself from her rigid form of experience, yet when you appear, she is not willing to let you vanish because you seemed like an opportunity into the future.
Future will seemed dark until you venture and seek the source of light. She is unable to leave the shores, yet she hates her present situations. (If she has Saturn affliction Moon - she will feel that love is a form of suffering. Worst if it's in sign of Pisces. Mental and emotional state will constant receive this message: To love is to suffer)
I can't remember what possible solution I had posted the previous time - I can only say this: if one method don't work, try something else. It seemed to me that you have always been employing pressuring-making-her-LL way of communication when it comes to her. You had already knew what's her problem - keep 'testing' or even asking question that you know she cannot answer will bring you nowhere. In fact, she will sink deeper into her emotional haven and you will never get the answer/result you desire.
Do this: Do what she wants minus those questioning. If she wants to be friends, then remain as one. Mentally, always presume that you both are friends irregardless of what may happen in the future UNLESS she confess to you about her liking and probably you may like to post it here or PM me. How she wants to define your relationship with you, how she sees love, etc - don't matter here. By being with her like a normal/good friend - you will gradually shape, influence and change her thinking.
You don't even have to directly mentioned anything.
Tension will brew if her liking for you is there.
Of course, during these period, you are free to date other ladies as well. No promise, no liability, no relationship, no nothing. BTW: You don't have to tell her that.
Cheers -
x2... can try..Originally posted by stoner:U need to post some challenges to her ..... Do try the following:
1)Get a new girlfriend and let her know that you (of cus not) really moving on liao.
2)Don's contact her at all.... no calls no meetups etc. zip -
To Yunhaier:
Well, I have actually opened up my options 2 months back but still wihout any success at this moment of time.
There is a revival to this issue when I sent an SMS (a rose picture message) on Valentine Day and she responded and we started to chat again till that night when we have a small argument.
Thanks for analysing the characteristics of a Virgo Woman -- rather close to what U have listed down here. She basically cannot let go the past...I challenge her to this issue and she said I keep repeating this and she is unhappy about it. My intention is to advice her to move on but she is those stubborn type which she DENY she is holding the past. I got no choice as she can said whatever she likes but deep in her heart, we DO NOT KNOW what she is thinking about.
I also feel that she HAD NO FAITH/CONFIDENCE in GUYS. She also mention that she regret telling me of her past as I feel that she does not want me to know about her secret. She told me about her past because I feel that she is comfortable with me and want me to know about it.
Well, I will closely monitor the situation and see what follows next.
Any comments? -
Originally posted by bus:To Yunhaier:
Well, I have actually opened up my options 2 months back but still wihout any success at this moment of time.
There is a revival to this issue when I sent an SMS (a rose picture message) on Valentine Day and she responded and we started to chat again till that night when we have a small argument.
Thanks for analysing the characteristics of a Virgo Woman -- rather close to what U have listed down here. She basically cannot let go the past...I challenge her to this issue and she said I keep repeating this and she is unhappy about it. My intention is to advice her to move on but she is those stubborn type which she DENY she is holding the past. I got no choice as she can said whatever she likes but deep in her heart, we DO NOT KNOW what she is thinking about.
I also feel that she HAD NO FAITH/CONFIDENCE in GUYS. She also mention that she regret telling me of her past as I feel that she does not want me to know about her secret. She told me about her past because I feel that she is comfortable with me and want me to know about it.
Well, I will closely monitor the situation and see what follows next.
Any comments? Actually in this kind situation, its impossible for me to list all your 'battle' plan to get her to move on and at the same time, get her. It's a whole package and everything has to be considered - which I cannot explain in mere words.
Do not make it seemed as if you are trying to change her, she will resist your attempt. Go with the flow, influence and induce. Drop the I-know-your-past-and-I-am-here-to-tell-you-the-right-thing attitude towards her. You see, since you know her situations much better than other people, you should learn to work around it instead of lamenting that she should move on.
We all know that we have to move on from our failures in love. There would be 3 possibilities: The one that stayed back, the one that take break every now and then, and the one that moved on. But the tactics we employ is much more critical than simple words.
P.S: If previous method don't work, try something else. To tame the stubborn woman, you have to earn her respect and to do it is not to challenge her to make her see reality. This form of reality will gradually by shown from you and whether she is willingly to give it a shot - its really up to her. The more you push, the more she go against your force.
Cheers -
To Yunhaier:
Yes, U are right again. The more I told her to face the REALITY, the more she resists and throw temper at me.
To this: I feel that she is ESCAPING from REALITY.Something which she does not DARE to face and would want to live her life "escaping" from it. How sad it is.
As to whether she can give herself a chance....I agree with U, it DEPENDs on her and not me as I can only do THAT MUCH and it is up to her to think and decide.
Yes, I also need to think about myself as well....That's why I open up my choices 2 months in advance in search for another potential one but still keeping my fingers cross on this current one.
Any new comments? -
Originally posted by bus:To Yunhaier:
Yes, U are right again. The more I told her to face the REALITY, the more she resists and throw temper at me.
To this: I feel that she is ESCAPING from REALITY.Something which she does not DARE to face and would want to live her life "escaping" from it. How sad it is.
As to whether she can give herself a chance....I agree with U, it DEPENDs on her and not me as I can only do THAT MUCH and it is up to her to think and decide.
Yes, I also need to think about myself as well....That's why I open up my choices 2 months in advance in search for another potential one but still keeping my fingers cross on this current one.
Any new comments? There is one thing about love and if you haven't realise by now, you ought to:
There are situations where we recongise what's the problem, but we never knew how to deal with them, therefore sometimes we stall. In the woman's preception, she will be sinking in this message "urgh, man don't understand woman at all.' But in fact, understanding doesn't mean you have to do anything and understand doesn't mean that you have to resort to 'usual logical' way of handling it. (What I mean by logical is via your common sense. When you got a burn, common sense will tell you to dip your finger into cold water for a moment, before wrapping it, or leaving it as it is. However, some seemingly stupid method like using a toothpaste as a cure works).
In the art of seduction - predictability is never the case if you want to succeed.
You can spare some time and effort in her and at the same time keeping your options open. Remember, as long as you ain't attached to her, you have your rights to do what you want with your love life, similiarly like her, if she doesn't want to accept you. Then respect her choice.
In the end, its matter of decision.
Cheers -
To Yunhaier:
Will there be cases where a woman cannot accept a guy (for whatever reasons) for the time being but in the end, she still comes back to the guy?
Something to add on: She is not only pledge by her sorry past but also her family problems which I am not that sure as well. She had very negative view about family/HOME. There is a time where I mentioned to her that I and my family members are close and we had dinner togther most of the time, when she hears this, she is annoy and said " what so good about HOME??"
This make me feel that because of her 2 main problems
1. Her Bad Past with guys
2. Her Family Problems
Might already make her give up long before I knew her!!!!!
What are your views? Hear from U again.