Needed Advice
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This thread is closed.
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Precious.. lingos used to have a bf that was really busy. But cos i was lifeless and friendless at the tender age of 19. I was really upset that i couldn't contact him anytime.
If he's at work, i think you should understand that it's hard to get time to do your personal stuff doing work. Especially if he's organising road shows. He's not at a desk sitting there doing nothing. When you get a job later.. you'll understand what i mean.
So MS A, your friends who say that he shouldn't treat you like that obviously have bfs who are in school and has nothing to do. If you want to be with someone that's older than you (I'm assuming he is) then you have to understand that he has work commitments. And be prepared to not see him for a long time. Unless you are dumb like I was once, and bring lunch to him. URGHHHH, the embarrassment of what i did when i was young! -
Why sad that u r dumb by bringing lunch to him..lolx.
Ya, think understood that he is being bz,but should at least with straint the attitude of being hostile rite? -
Well.. cos I am now a really busy person. And to think i went all the way from Gleneagles to Taka to SP to bring someone lunch is ridiculous. After that, i get on a bus and go home!? I should have just gone home instead of running around cos I had swollen face and everything after my operation. AHhaha.. i write it off to youth.
Heheh.. i can't imagine doing it now. I wouldn't even be bothered to drive 1/2 hr to meet my boyfriend for lunch even if i'm not working. -
Honey.. if you had a strict deadline to do, and you're getting interrupted. Sometimes it's hard to restrain the tone. Maybe on the phone it's hard to like tell what he is really feeling. Once i was drivng and my bf was calling me cos i was late. I answered and said i'm driving, can't talk and slammed the phone down. But he knew that i didn't mean to be rude. You know what i mean?Originally posted by Prec|ous:Why sad that u r dumb by bringing lunch to him..lolx.
Ya, think understood that he is being bz,but should at least with straint the attitude of being hostile rite? -
i see. what are u working as? so how do u mainatian ur r/s then? no contacts no meet up?
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Ohh.. I see him everyday. Hahaha...
But when i'm home with him, usually we do our own things. He'll be on his notebook, i'll be on the pc or watching tv. -
haiz....
then mine no use liao lor... -
What are you doing up at this hour?
PMed you anyway. -
i feel what lingos has said is true. the amt of stress in organising a roadshow for the next day is extremely huge. that explains why the guy sounded frustrated.
also, did it ever occur to the both of them that sms can be a poor medium for communication? //Quote: "i think you are real busy or you wun bother..." Ms. A could meant well when she said this. but how would a stressful guy react and perceive this sentence? sometimes, nothing beats a phone call.
it could just be a case of misunderstanding. not necessary a change in heart on the part of B. if so, he wouldn't even have bothered to call back again.
btw precIous, u are a night owl!!! -
mayb he reali very stress, so cannot reali conclude he change of heart or wat lor... but if he reali busy, during his rest time can still give u sms mah... but give him a break, send him motivation sms daily so he still noe u still care...Originally posted by Prec|ous:This Gal A had not been seeing her bf B, for quite long liao as this B had to work everyday fm morning to nite. A understand his situation & seldom contact B also so that he can haf enuff rest. Thus they seldom conact nor meet.
Then suddenly A sms B at nite (11.30pm) asking him "how is work?" She saw no reply after a few mins n make her 2nd sms "I think u r real bz or maybe you wun bother. This upset me alot & i keep pondering r u alrite or wat gg on.Nvm Take care n shant disturb u". Immediately B called A back in a frustrated tone and say
"Wat is ur problem?, Im at this place, do u noe?" A replied she dun noe. Then B replied "Muz i tell you everything? Im at this place preparing for 2morrow roadshow, very bz. U think i always do nothing?". A was all long quiet in the conversation. Then B hanged up.
A was sad. She feels that is there anything wrong in her sms? Then after a fw mins later, B called A back in a nicer tone n asked A wat is it. A despite feeling sad on wat happen earlier, replied "Juz trying to find out how is ur job, i noe that u r bz at work n that is why that makes u abit bad tempered, and i thought u r at home & if i noe u are still at work, i wun be smsing u". Then she asked him abt his rdshow duration n wat he is doing now. After that they hanged up.
People keep telling A that that is no way B should treat A this manner. Muz be something wrong in the r/s, either he changed heart or wat. B as usual defended A by saying that he is very bz etc.. So wat do u think..someting wrong? -
SUBJECTIVE. Based on the above alone, it's certainly not enough to prove much. Could very well be just a frustrated man's response though he might be genuinely caring to his gf. Then again, there's no evidence to prove that there's nothing wrong too?Originally posted by Prec|ous:This Gal A had not been seeing her bf B, for quite long liao as this B had to work everyday fm morning to nite. A understand his situation & seldom contact B also so that he can haf enuff rest. Thus they seldom conact nor meet.
Then suddenly A sms B at nite (11.30pm) asking him "how is work?" She saw no reply after a few mins n make her 2nd sms "I think u r real bz or maybe you wun bother. This upset me alot & i keep pondering r u alrite or wat gg on.Nvm Take care n shant disturb u". Immediately B called A back in a frustrated tone and say
"Wat is ur problem?, Im at this place, do u noe?" A replied she dun noe. Then B replied "Muz i tell you everything? Im at this place preparing for 2morrow roadshow, very bz. U think i always do nothing?". A was all long quiet in the conversation. Then B hanged up.
A was sad. She feels that is there anything wrong in her sms? Then after a fw mins later, B called A back in a nicer tone n asked A wat is it. A despite feeling sad on wat happen earlier, replied "Juz trying to find out how is ur job, i noe that u r bz at work n that is why that makes u abit bad tempered, and i thought u r at home & if i noe u are still at work, i wun be smsing u". Then she asked him abt his rdshow duration n wat he is doing now. After that they hanged up.
People keep telling A that that is no way B should treat A this manner. Muz be something wrong in the r/s, either he changed heart or wat. B as usual defended A by saying that he is very bz etc.. So wat do u think..someting wrong?
A word of advice... If things are pretty groundless, don't go about wildful guessings.... It's unhealthy and would probably hurt the relationship in one way or another in time to come....
Regards. -
He is in sales line..& i dun think so he really haf any fixed rest time. i do send him encouragement sms once in a while n he reply me nothing. Kinda of sad to see no response fm him when i send an encouragement or a miss u sms.Originally posted by BrUtUs:mayb he reali very stress, so cannot reali conclude he change of heart or wat lor... but if he reali busy, during his rest time can still give u sms mah... but give him a break, send him motivation sms daily so he still noe u still care... -
btw precIous, u are a night owl!!!
When i wrote the msg in the beginning, i couldnt sleep cos it was bothering me esp. when the so called "accquataince" fren keep telling me he is having a 2nd gf outside w/o any basis, & he concluded that bcos of his attitude to me.
When u reply me, it was abt 10.30, singapore time.
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Hi Precious,
Pls refer to my reply in the thread, "Something Wrong?", which was previous also posted by u.
RPOriginally posted by Prec|ous:This Gal A had not been seeing her bf B, for quite long liao as this B had to work everyday fm morning to nite. A understand his situation & seldom contact B also so that he can haf enuff rest. Thus they seldom conact nor meet.
Then suddenly A sms B at nite (11.30pm) asking him "how is work?" She saw no reply after a few mins n make her 2nd sms "I think u r real bz or maybe you wun bother. This upset me alot & i keep pondering r u alrite or wat gg on.Nvm Take care n shant disturb u". Immediately B called A back in a frustrated tone and say
"Wat is ur problem?, Im at this place, do u noe?" A replied she dun noe. Then B replied "Muz i tell you everything? Im at this place preparing for 2morrow roadshow, very bz. U think i always do nothing?". A was all long quiet in the conversation. Then B hanged up.
A was sad. She feels that is there anything wrong in her sms? Then after a fw mins later, B called A back in a nicer tone n asked A wat is it. A despite feeling sad on wat happen earlier, replied "Juz trying to find out how is ur job, i noe that u r bz at work n that is why that makes u abit bad tempered, and i thought u r at home & if i noe u are still at work, i wun be smsing u". Then she asked him abt his rdshow duration n wat he is doing now. After that they hanged up.
People keep telling A that that is no way B should treat A this manner. Muz be something wrong in the r/s, either he changed heart or wat. B as usual defended A by saying that he is very bz etc.. So wat do u think..someting wrong? -
precious, since you yourself admitted that those are just words of an acquaintance, then you shdn't take it to heart. she might be just kind or otherwise when she said that, but most important is that you must trust your bf.
when u truly love someone, u dun hold back. give your guy the benefit of the doubt ok and have faith in him. cheer up
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Guys hate it when gf says things like u dont bother...used to do it when not married....always starts a fight. Now i noe when i want hubby to call me....i sms him and tell him things like....i miss u....i m thinkin of u..... wish to see u soon or when he bz wif work....kempetai.....he always try to call....it gets him in a lovey dovey mood and he tries to come home as soon as his project finishes.
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the problem is he wun reply sms for msges like miss u, love u, or any encouragement sms to ask him to jia you. He reply me sms that needed to be reply like enquiries or gg out. I noe guys got some dislikes on wat their gfs do. But it feel so strange for me for me that we neber communicate for days n i dun even noe wat is gg on for him..maybe i should juz leave him alone. Not to say meet up.. it even worst. He had no time for it..Originally posted by lyling:Guys hate it when gf says things like u dont bother...used to do it when not married....always starts a fight. Now i noe when i want hubby to call me....i sms him and tell him things like....i miss u....i m thinkin of u..... wish to see u soon or when he bz wif work....kempetai.....he always try to call....it gets him in a lovey dovey mood and he tries to come home as soon as his project finishes. -
My hubby didnt like the fact that i too sticky. So i got around problem by finding things to do when he not around. he got more "kan cheong" when he realised i was more indepdt. but i always assure him i would be there 4 him. i make more effort by cooking him a good meal when he comes home from work...btw i work too but still make effort. sometimes by letting go a little, it gives him room to breathe and he comes back more, its like flyin a kite ...every relationship is unique.....u need to noe what works for ur guy.
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BTW communication needs time....i took a lot of time (a few years in fact) to train him to talk to me.....now he tells me abt his day at work, the good....the bad, everthing....what he had for lunch....i also tell him abt mine. i try to pamper him more when he has a bad day. he doesnt need advice, just a listening and sympathetic ear.
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Erm... we really do live in a MCP world.
Based on the few recent posts, it almost seems like the world revolves around the guy!!! -
Maybe is it easier for a marriage as u still get to see him at the end of the day. Maybe couplehood nid more time...
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Maybe is it easier for a marriage as u still get to see him at the end of the day. Maybe couplehood nid more time...
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Exactly, which is why i was trying to steer Precious away from focusing on her boyfriend and on improving herself with hobbies and other things that interest her.Originally posted by :Erm... we really do live in a MCP world.
Based on the few recent posts, it almost seems like the world revolves around the guy!!!
Going to the gym for example, wah.. i used to have toned muscled legs now it's just skin and bones... sniff.. and so unfit, can't even climb up the stairs without panting. -
Marriage doesn't solve anything. Like with my ex boyfriend, I used to tell myself that i could tolerate certain aspects of him that i didn't really like ie.. tight arse. He would freak if i bought anything remotely expensive. Even when i bought a watch for half price (not on sale, through connections) and it was a bargain, he flipped out and nearly fell down the escalator.Originally posted by Prec|ous:Maybe is it easier for a marriage as u still get to see him at the end of the day. Maybe couplehood nid more time...
Anyway point is, if there is something that you are not satisfied with at the moment, getting married solves nothing. But i think this has been discussed again to the point of ad nauseum, i'll leave it as this.