Originally posted by bismarck:
the main reason why i am unhappy is i have to bear the scoldings when someone else in the family cock-up
there's a feeling of injustice u know ?
i know exactly what you mean. simple example ..... younger sis snatches older bro's toy. older bro retaliates. older bro gets scolding for not sharing

well ...... what can we say?
ok, this problem will cease as soon as your parents realize that you've grown up and is more independant, etc. then, you will have a "voice" in the family. becoz, prior to this, you've always been a lil' child to them. just listen to what daddy and mummy says, becoz daddy or mummy knows best. almost 20 yrs of treating a person in that manner, and then all of a sudden he's grown up. they've become too accustomed to treating you in that way. everyone needs time to change their mindset.
they need some time to acknowledge that their son has grown up and they need to give him that "voice" in the family. afterall, parents are just normal ppl like us, having gone through the same phases in life, but some tend to forget what it was like to be growing up. it was probably too long ago.
well, for me, my dad was the fierce one. he was a discipline master in school. i can't even remember how many times he had whipped me with either a cane or a belt. imagine going to school with short pants and having those red cane marks on your legs. but, nowadays, the story has changed. i manage my own life, with advice from them, of coz. but, it's also becoz i ask them for advice (hmm, i've changed ..... a lot ..... anyway). you'll grow up to recognize the many times they were right. things like, "why spend so much money on this and that (branded clothes, etc.). you'll know what the feeling is like when you try to earn your own money." you will come to realize that they were right.
i wish someone told me this earlier. but, then again, i won't believe them becoz the anger and frustration gets in the way. PLUS, i won't be matured enuff to think that way at that time ........ too many factors ...... just too many. and trust me when i say i know what you feel. afterall, all these things happened for me not too long ago.
and nowadays ..... "you going to penang? want to take the car? alright, drive safely and sms us when you get there. the car has been serviced recently, so there shouldn't be any problems. enjoy yourself."
just a short 3 yrs ago, the answer would have been, "you going to penang? no need to ask us first is it? no, cannot". that would have been the end of the conversation. my dad is not a person to argue with. always the one with the last say.
in the recent yrs, he has learnt to change and he has acknowledged the changes in me too. but, one thing i'm not too happy about ....... my younger sis is now reaping the benefits of the change in my dad! he's not as strict with her as he was with me (flowing with the times lolz) just kidding!! i luv my sis

(though i used to hate her so much when i was young, but that's a totally diff story)