cant live with my family any longer
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Originally posted by jolin80:i do agree wif paperboat .....
jus learn not to take every of their words to heart
i do have the same experience like u too
i do oso thought of moving out when i'm young
i dun have any happy childhood like others...
i often kena scolded and bitten up by my mum
i feel tt i'm always the one kena the cruel treatment
and whatever i said they dun believe me at all
they cares and love my younger sibling alots than mi
i do feel tt i'm not thier fresh blooded child at times even nw.....
often i do hide at one corner and cried lonely.....
thought of committin sucide too
but as times goes by
i had used to it
i will not take their words to heart easily
i do whatever i think it's right
i live for my own sake not because of 'em
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i already spent 6 weeks in melb without them and i didnt make a call to them for 4 weeks.Originally posted by euphratis:hOW Old r u?....if u guy....tt mean u have not gone to army yet....to know wat is to miss u family........
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Yeah bismarck.. i lived for one year without talking to my mum.
She had to like call my friends here to get hold of me. I used to give her the.. Uh huh.. yes yes no no answers. One year without contacting anyone in my family. Hell i could have had an accident over here and no one would know! This happened cos my mother didn't approve of my boyfriend here and cos i was in Uni, she felt that i wasn't studying enough.
And guess what? Now.. i feel so bad about it. She used to keep harrassing me to do my Masters and it irritated me so much. But she only does it cos she wanted the best for me.
Sometimes you don't understand your parents. It doesn't matter how old you are or how old you think you are.
Disagreements always arises.. but it also dies down. Unless they are abusing you or something.. and you know what i mean, not just yelling or misunderstandings. After all they are the people that you CAN rely on in times of need.
My mum and grandma are the most important people in the world. Much as it's disgusting to admit it sometimes cos i'm such a potato and westerner. But i'll give up everything here in two seconds. Yes the boy, cat, CAR and Independence if they ever need me.
Never forget how much money your mother spent on you. And yes they are naggy and they keep telling you the same story on and on, but hey.. just remember the day that you want to see them, but you can't anymore. -
OMG looking back i sound like the world's biggest sob teller
URGHH.. -
No lah, u are not.Originally posted by Lingos:OMG looking back i sound like the world's biggest sob teller
URGHH..
Me and my dad, in fact my siblings and me are not on talking terms with my dad. No, we didnt fall out with him, just that my father, being steep in Chinese culture, distance himself as head of family instead. We do know he care for us, well in many ways, but of course he did tell my mum how come we dont talk to him, not even acknowledge him when he got home.
My mum, is a super nagger. A room is to be entered, and a closed door is to be knocked. Walau, I almost die man.
There is nothing wrong in nagging or being sincere and concerned, but they couldnt use a good method to bring teh message across, or be tactless in what they say.There appears to be many courses on effective parents-children communication, must go ask my mum to sign up liao.... -
wanted to go with joho,bear and the rest to the botanical gardens outing today but sadly, couldnt go.
i asked my dad for permission and he gave me this " if u got icq,then dun go" icq is this universal term for icq(which i dun use,but anyway),irc,msn and yahoo messenger and net"
was damn farked up by this answer because either u give me a yes or no. dun give me abstract answers. i dun want to risk wrongly interpreting yr answers only to go out with a god-damn farking fear of getting into a farking big fight with them. so i told my mum and asked me to go down to ask what he means, which i didnt go because i knew it would end up into a fight.
i told her that everyone i know in class has more life than me. each weekend i spend 60hrs cooped up at home. except go to my gran's every sat. for this god-damned semester, i didnt go out AT ALL. the moment lessons ends, i always go home straight except when i need to stay back in sch to finish up prac datasheets,have sch activities,go for dinner somewhere along the way home or stop by at cd shops to buy cds( once in a damn blue moon)
when i go out it's because i sneak out during long breaks during lesson time.
this iron-fisted rule started the moment i was born. right frm the start i was warned if i took extra time to come home i will be caned and whipped. when i entered sec1 in a lousy sch because i did badly in PSLE, my dad forced me to call him the moment i reached home. because of this i managed to reach home in record time. under 35mins.everytime i stay back for cca stuff,each time also must report to him.
even now, 19 soon, also must tell him where i go,with who,how many ppl,do what,for how long, each time i wanna go out during sem breaks with friends or with photography club members.
HELLO? ppl 5 ,6 years my junior can go out as their fancies. they always claim i get some form of automony, load of sh|t. and i can choose whatever i want. sh|t. there is this topic that has been argued to death, the fact tat their forced me into this course when i wanted to go either JC,chem process or aerospace engine. i am going to year3 in july and till now this topic has never been resolved. i feel that if i were to change course, the moment after i do so, i will kill myself. why? because i know it will jumpstart a massive arguement lasting weeks if not months. maybe this is better, because at least i get to make a decision on my own.
even what handphone i want is also dictated by them.
another topic argued to death is a dslr. what my dad's interpretation of a dslr is a fanciful, OVERHYPED manual film slr with a circuit board. i can tell his so called arguements are based on cameras 20years ago. why? he doesnt even know waht else is there besides a ccd recording images and a load of glass. there's more than meet the eye,dad! yes, he listens to my points but everytime we argue on the same few points because his thinking is always the same and we never agree on something. stalemate.
he also thinks that hp are for emergency use only. thinking adopted frm the army ? where they use the radio only for reporting enemy movements? he boasts a hp bill cheaper than my caller id subscription(he doesnt have 1)
he says we can only call him when there is an emergency, fine if that's what u want. but,question, how do u know whether i have an emergency if u dont pick up the damn phone? fundamentally stupid.
coming back to the botanical gardens thing, eventually when my mum asked me if i wanna tag along while she go out so she can give me a ride. i said no. because i know my dad too well, come back, my mum and i will be scolded. i just calculated how much my mum spents on repaying loans and bills,close to half of her pay.
now i am feeling very unhappy i didnt go not because i missed a chance to snap pics but it's the way they replied me. and also , well maybe u think i am waht, but it's something like a promise to come. somemore i could play with joho's webcam
or bear's sony.
there's 1 thing i really dont like is a broken promise. ok fine.maybe it wasnt a promise to come but sort of like last min then say not coming.like fly aeroplane like that.
guys,really sorry.
i feel that either my dad gives me a definate yes or no answer and not a abstract answer.
i dun feel like talking to them anymore. i wanna rent a place,hut also can, the moment i get a job.
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hey ..dun be sad
every1 of us will go thru this path.......
tong ren bu tong ming -
everyone goes through this phase at around this age, some earlier, some later.
I mentioned it before. It takes time to work things out with your parents... for them to understand you.. and also for you to understand them. If you keep thinking you want to move out, you'll never bridge the gap with them and when you get older, you'll end up realising you've missed something.
Thinking back about my own phase with my parents... it took 6 years to resolve and I'm glad now that i didn't really move out at the time when I was going through similar things with my parents. hang in there.... and like i said, don't keep thinking abt it. Family is all about accepting who they are and forgetting little misunderstandings. the more you think about it, the worse it'll make you feel and less likely to help you resolve your differences with them.
bismarck... you're still young. have you thought about the fact that the things you wanted are basically just that?? wants?? not a necessity? maybe that is one reason why your parents do not feel the need to spend the money... cos afterall, economy is bad and any $$ is hard-earned. I don't think they'll have much grounds to object to your dslr if you are buying it with whatever money you earned on your own??
One common trend among parents dealing with us growing up, i find, is that whatever autonomy or freedom we used to find so tough to fight for, they'll be more willing to grant once we are earning out own keep and they know that we can keep ourselves alive and be responsible for our own bills, actions, purchases etc. my parents used to nag a lot too... and it was only recently that they stopped... becos on top of earning my own keep, i'm now paying for their medical and the reno of the house they are currently staying in. think the last point was the one that convinced them to stop nagging....
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Bismarck,
before i came to Aust, my mum made me tell her where i am, what time i will be back and who i am seeing.
Anyway, if i was late, the mobile and pager will ring incessantly.
Yes i was what.. your age as well.
heheh..
Actually even now when i go back to sg, i have to report. And she gets angry that i don't drive my brothers car when i go out in the night -> you guessed it, midnight surcharge! In fact if i go out late in the night, she won't sleep.. and I am much older than you. HAHAH
All of us go through that all the time, I dont' know why she can't be like other parents. Just leave me alone. Heheh..
I hope you work it out.
Laurence82-> you sound like me. Both my brother and I are estranged from my dad. Haven't seen him in like 4 years.. only when my brother got married.