Break up sorrows
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I just broke up with my gf abt a month ago. I find it hard for myself to get over it. as for the reason, I was not a caring enough person for him. I mistreat her and never treasure her when she was with me even when she is living with me for more than half a year I think. no that I have regretted and wanted to change for her, she decided to leave me and I can't get it over. I promise her I will change and prove to her I will be caring to her again. but without her by my side, how will she know I have change to be more caring to her. I have a lot of bad habits like smoking and drinking. I can drop all that if she decide to come back to me. but I think she have to be there to see it right? if she is not with me, how will she know? I really don't know what to do with myself now. I feel so lost without her. this is the 1st time I come to such forums to seek for some advice...
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try to find another gf.
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If i can, i have already done so. like i say i really think she is the love of my life. how to infd another love of my life? not opssible right?
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too late, dude... now then u regret. why dont u treasure her when u were wif her and feel remorse after she left u?Originally posted by snowep:I just broke up with my gf abt a month ago. I find it hard for myself to get over it. as for the reason, I was not a caring enough person for him. I mistreat her and never treasure her when she was with me even when she is living with me for more than half a year I think. no that I have regretted and wanted to change for her, she decided to leave me and I can't get it over. I promise her I will change and prove to her I will be caring to her again. but without her by my side, how will she know I have change to be more caring to her. I have a lot of bad habits like smoking and drinking. I can drop all that if she decide to come back to me. but I think she have to be there to see it right? if she is not with me, how will she know? I really don't know what to do with myself now. I feel so lost without her. this is the 1st time I come to such forums to seek for some advice...
when a girl's heart is "dead", there's no way of getting it back.
always remember to cherish when u have it, not do something wrong and regret later. -
like that, does that means there is no way to get her back? there is no way to saviour this relationship?
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maybe let her cool off for some time. after that try to show it to her that you changing for the better. you shd know what are the things she doesn't like abt you, get rid of them. but dun overdo it....not asking you to pester her. try to talk calmly ok.
if after that she remains very determined for a breakup, let her go. her heart is really dead and you must have hurt her very badly. move on with your own life then. wish you well. -
well it's sorta like trying to piece back a broken vase, it's never gonna be the same againOriginally posted by snowep:like that, does that means there is no way to get her back? there is no way to saviour this relationship? -
could there be anything i could do now?
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very difficult lah... as u have said it, she's not there to see ur change no matter how much change u have been thru.Originally posted by snowep:like that, does that means there is no way to get her back? there is no way to saviour this relationship?
and u r doing her next bf a big favour. her next bf need not be very good or fantastic, juz a normal plain guy will do... and when she compare u and her next bf, she will find that her next bf is damn good already, the best that she can ask for already... even tho he is ok ok, so-so, or normal normal... provided her next bf doesnt mistreat her like u did. -
yes, ask yourself if you can really change for her. dun make empty promises.Originally posted by snowep:could there be anything i could do now?
also, get your mindset right and dun hold high expectations. -
yes... let her go. if u love her, and u want her to be happy, let her go...Originally posted by snowep:could there be anything i could do now? -
pick up the pieces and learn..
if you think there are things about you that you should change.. do it.. -
i will sure chage if she really say she will give me the chance. that is not only a promise. i will swaer to it. i can do anything to get her back with me....
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U have to say all these to her....
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u will only bring more sorrows to the both of u.....Originally posted by snowep:i will sure chage if she really say she will give me the chance. that is not only a promise. i will swaer to it. i can do anything to get her back with me....
learn to let go, she'll be happier, if that's ur concern.
take ur time to change for the better, and when the next girl comes into ur life, demonstrate ur change to her... -
both of u might have ended in a heated arguement, i don't know. but all it takes is just one more attempt to plead her, you can ascertain if there's a way back. if not, dun pursue anymore. like what the others have said, learn from your mistake and let her go.
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change for your own sake.. not for her..Originally posted by snowep:i will sure chage if she really say she will give me the chance. that is not only a promise. i will swaer to it. i can do anything to get her back with me.... -
u shd change for yr own sake not for anyone else
i'm sure u can do it ... do have faith in yrself
sound like u felt abit regret nw ...
well.... we usually dun realise their gd
when we have 'em... dun b sad cheer up
life still need to carries on -
2 wrongs doesn't make a right lorOriginally posted by epImetheus:try to find another gf.
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thanks for all the advice. i will change and that is for sure.; as for forgetting her completely, i don't think i can do it.
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u still need to do so, for her happiness. try to start to let her go, or else u will live in sorrow...Originally posted by snowep:thanks for all the advice. i will change and that is for sure.; as for forgetting her completely, i don't think i can do it. -
This may sound a bit harsh but I believed you have brought this on yourself. Failing to cherish what was around you at the time when you had the chance to do so is the most common of mistakes guys and gals alike do. She wouldn't have given you a chance since she has been hurt by you before and why would you not do it again since you have done it before? The best way is to change yourself not for the sake of having her back but for the sake of yourself. Why do you need her by your side to change? If you can't even change by yourself, then I would recommend that you do not even think of going after her again. Promises made are always broken whereas actions speaks louder than words. Last but not least, please do cherish your next GF when you have the chance to do so. Think of how lucky you are to have at least have the chance to change things but how some other people would have not have the chance to do so no matter how much effort they have put into a relationship.
Just my two cents.... -
its easier said den done..Originally posted by epImetheus:try to find another gf. -
bro, humans often regret too late. i suggest u gotta move on.. it happen to mi quite sometimes ago and i said the same things like u did.Originally posted by snowep:I just broke up with my gf abt a month ago. I find it hard for myself to get over it. as for the reason, I was not a caring enough person for him. I mistreat her and never treasure her when she was with me even when she is living with me for more than half a year I think. no that I have regretted and wanted to change for her, she decided to leave me and I can't get it over. I promise her I will change and prove to her I will be caring to her again. but without her by my side, how will she know I have change to be more caring to her. I have a lot of bad habits like smoking and drinking. I can drop all that if she decide to come back to me. but I think she have to be there to see it right? if she is not with me, how will she know? I really don't know what to do with myself now. I feel so lost without her. this is the 1st time I come to such forums to seek for some advice...
but i was told, when gers do make up their mind. their mind set is SET. if she realli breakup coz of dis reason, i guess u better wake up and dun mistreat another ger dat come along in ur life later..
if dat is not the case, or she broke up juz to be with another and cock dis reason out, i tink u better seek the truth reason..
tk kare bro, meanwhile spend sometime with ur fren whom u did not realli contact while in a r/s.. dey can gif u some suggestion.. -
hmm...
can offer u some advice... coz i was in the same situation a few mths back.... the difference is that i was the one that chose to walk out of the relationship.. in other words, i was the gf who was so disappointed n heartbroken that i chose to give up a 6 yr relationship....
wat i can tell u is move on with ur life... dun bother calling her n asking her for another chance... it'll only make her hate u more... just like my case... i felt like i had made the rite choice when he was calling me n asking me for second chances....
a breakup is always for the betta... sad but true... it's either u 2 decide that u 2 really love each other n are willing to compromise n make it work out.... or both of u are betta off without each other.... there's no pt in hanging onto a failed relationship... u might feel upset now.... but u gotta learn to cope with it... coz ultimately, it's by ur own doing that things turned out this way....
this is not exactly advice... but views from another perspective... [/quote]