Originally posted by snowep:
I just broke up with my gf abt a month ago. I find it hard for myself to get over it. as for the reason, I was not a caring enough person for him. I mistreat her and never treasure her when she was with me even when she is living with me for more than half a year I think. no that I have regretted and wanted to change for her, she decided to leave me and I can't get it over. I promise her I will change and prove to her I will be caring to her again. but without her by my side, how will she know I have change to be more caring to her. I have a lot of bad habits like smoking and drinking. I can drop all that if she decide to come back to me. but I think she have to be there to see it right? if she is not with me, how will she know? I really don't know what to do with myself now. I feel so lost without her. this is the 1st time I come to such forums to seek for some advice...

Mistreat her, never appreciate, equiped with flaws, etc - when you decide to change for the better, she had already lost the reason and will to continue this relationship. You only realise it when you are on the verge of losing her and ultimately you did, because if you learn this earlier, this wouldn't have happen isn't it?
Like rubber band, it snapped after you pulled more than what it could bear.
You promise her you will change? But unfortunately, she wouldn't be around to witness that. So how brown cow? Sink and depress yourself further and continue your original lifestyle, behavior and attitude?
If that were to happen, let me reassure you that history will repeat itself again. Under Love Cosmic law -
every relationship we have, has their own reason of existence. She came into your life to make you realise the beauty of upholding the duty of a decent bf. Will you humble yourself and accept this learning cycle or degenerate and run away?

P.S: Take this time to explore your mind and emotions. There are tons of work to do: to improve one self beyond imagination. You don't even have to look for another girl if you perform what I asked of you because love is about learning and once you completed level one - level two will begin when you are ready for them. If not, you will never attain wisdom, guidance and enlightenment in love and wouid constantly stroll in circles.
Cheers