The pain of love .....
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The pain of Love .
Can anyone help me ???
i have been i love with this ger for a long long time about 6years +. i know she is attactive have a lots admirers . during this six year i done of things for her like give her everything she wanted , like discman , hp and lots more . even though i working part time earn a pathetic few hundred a mth i but i still try to give her whatever. i rather suffer then seeing here go hungry for lunch just to save the few doller. and theres times i want to forget her , for once i even mail back her everything she gave me . in the end still i always return to her (maybe its GODs will) . i cried , drunk myself , make a fool of myself . really all my friends see this going to nowhere , everythinks that she is making use of me . i have the same thinking but whenever i talk to her , the idea of it has gone to the back of my mind .
i did tell her i love her for a few times . everytimes always though sms or msn . i dont know i have the phobia of talking lovey dovey face to face . when i wanna say my heart beat so fast like wanna pop out and i am cowardly to express my love . i am a outgoing kinda guy but suffering from this .
ok resently i was MSNing with her , she said that last time she "reject me cause she still have one guy she like but now no more". ok then i say why not give me one more chance then she answer "let things happen naturally" then i was ok think that still got chance . BUT now the old flame ( another one ) has come back . everyday shes seems talking about him . then i was 'hey dont be the green eye monster ' so i thought , he would be friends with her . but its seems that thats not the case , he start taking action . giving her flower , driving her ard , TODAY he even take the medicine to her house when she is having fever . i was oh damm no chance already , i sure lose to him everyway . low on confident or should be NO confident . then today i ask her again , its appear to me shes running away from the fact that she have to chose me or another guy....
So guys what you all think ?????? do i stand a chance or WHAT ???? -
dun wait..... change target..... i dun think she is worth it...
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Originally posted by archie84:The pain of Love .
Can anyone help me ???
i have been i love with this ger for a long long time about 6years +. i know she is attactive have a lots admirers . during this six year i done of things for her like give her everything she wanted , like discman , hp and lots more . even though i working part time earn a pathetic few hundred a mth i but i still try to give her whatever. i rather suffer then seeing here go hungry for lunch just to save the few doller. and theres times i want to forget her , for once i even mail back her everything she gave me . in the end still i always return to her (maybe its GODs will) . i cried , drunk myself , make a fool of myself . really all my friends see this going to nowhere , everythinks that she is making use of me . i have the same thinking but whenever i talk to her , the idea of it has gone to the back of my mind .
i did tell her i love her for a few times . everytimes always though sms or msn . i dont know i have the phobia of talking lovey dovey face to face . when i wanna say my heart beat so fast like wanna pop out and i am cowardly to express my love . i am a outgoing kinda guy but suffering from this .
ok resently i was MSNing with her , she said that last time she "reject me cause she still have one guy she like but now no more". ok then i say why not give me one more chance then she answer "let things happen naturally" then i was ok think that still got chance . BUT now the old flame ( another one ) has come back . everyday shes seems talking about him . then i was 'hey dont be the green eye monster ' so i thought , he would be friends with her . but its seems that thats not the case , he start taking action . giving her flower , driving her ard , TODAY he even take the medicine to her house when she is having fever . i was oh damm no chance already , i sure lose to him everyway . low on confident or should be NO confident . then today i ask her again , its appear to me shes running away from the fact that she have to chose me or another guy....
So guys what you all think ?????? do i stand a chance or WHAT ????
What will it take to make you realise you never stood a chance right in the beginning?
YOU ONLY THOUGHT YOU HAD CHANCE. That's a fatal illusion that keeps you going for years. And you will keep going because you have fallen right under her art of seduction and that you never able to pierce through.
Like all common man, your mistakes are the following few: (Somehow if others were to read this, it seemed that I had posted this before. Yes, I am damn naggy and I will continue to repeat myself):
You worshipped her like a goddess. You regarded her as an entity out of reach and so, you crave for her attention like a zealous devotee. You save money to get her presents and offer them to her even if you stave/work like hell. And so you thought that gifts can demonstrate your affection? Oh please, if she a sucker for gifts - imagine how many possible 'devotee' she could have and what makes you think your gifts are more valuable than the rest? (Gifts can be measure in value)
In the first place, if you thought that gift could win her heart, you are on par with men who thought that money could buy love.
And the best part - after spending so much time and effort, you never had the strength to tell her that you like/love her in her face. Do you know why? Let me explain using the Joho theory: In crush, we see our target as an entity higher than ourselves. In love, we see them the same as we see ourselves. The reason why you never able to do that is because she is like an idol and you are the fan. The image she has PROJECTED and marketed into you is mind-shocking awesome and even being near to her physically, you would literally faint. Look at the screaming female fans of F4 and such. These actually people cry after a handshake with them. To you, she is forever an idol, while to her, you are merely a fan.
So how does an idol keep their fans excited and keep worshipping them? Simple: Make them think they have chance to get close, let them be updated about her life and send occasional positive message to make you think she cares/remember/etc you... but....
You will never be able to get her.
Cheers -
dont think u stood a chance and dont think you would, at the rate things go.
to put ur mind to rest, go speak to her abt it. nothing to lose anyway. -
How old are u and how old is she?
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Yes, you're in your own illusion all these while.
She would learn her lesson in time to come. And you're just one of the person who had walked into her life and should put a stop to to this journey with her.
Maintain friendship but arms lenght away.....
Continue at night......got to rush to work. Hope you're taking the advices well. -
i can understand cos heart pains also
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Very slim if any at all?Originally posted by archie84:So guys what you all think ?????? do i stand a chance or WHAT ???? -
Yunhaier i always read your post , i know its stupid to do the 'worship' thingy but i just cant help it . all i wanna do is to LOVE her . and i never thought of using money to buy her love . yea maybe you are right i treating her like goddess.
however a week ago she say something like wanna settle down and maybe giving me a chance . but damm now the old flame come in to the picture . now she is choosing me or the other guy . and this morning she msg me this "well , it's nt a matter who lose who. i'm just nt fit for anyone out there . i noe u guys can bring me happiness. bt i jus cant tel myself i can bought u guys happiness" what does this means ?
yea btw i am 20 year old and she same age also . i LEO , she pisces.
guys if you got any question post here i will reply to help me to get out of this
thanx alot guy i really appreciate your help thanx a lot . i think though every opinion you giving me . thanks -
Originally posted by archie84:Yunhaier i always read your post , i know its stupid to do the 'worship' thingy but i just cant help it . all i wanna do is to LOVE her . and i never thought of using money to buy her love . yea maybe you are right i treating her like goddess.
however a week ago she say something like wanna settle down and maybe giving me a chance . but damm now the old flame come in to the picture . now she is choosing me or the other guy . and this morning she msg me this "well , it's nt a matter who lose who. i'm just nt fit for anyone out there . i noe u guys can bring me happiness. bt i jus cant tel myself i can bought u guys happiness" what does this means ?
yea btw i am 20 year old and she same age also . i LEO , she pisces.
guys if you got any question post here i will reply to help me to get out of this
thanx alot guy i really appreciate your help thanx a lot . i think though every opinion you giving me . thanks You just wanna love her - but are you loving her the 'right' way? If you just wanna love her, you only need to love - you don't need to be with her. But you can't - you need to possess her as your gf. Under art of seduction, eventually, you would lose her. You can never keep up with what you could give because its purely one sided. If she has appreciated that side of you, she would have already LONG accepted you. You are like a blender in her life - in some occasion, it would be useful, but you don't really need it even if you don't own one.
Pisces? No wonder charm so strong. What she meant is that she knew that she wouldn't last with either one of you (thus inability to bring happiness) and would hurt either one of you indirectly. Anyway, seriously if you are asking me how much chance do you have to get her, I can tell you its near zero. Even if luck were to be on your side and you are with her - you will not last anywhere more than 6 months, unless other methods are employed, image altered, etc.
Like what I had said: What does it take to make you wake up?
Cheers -
unless other methods are employed, image altered, etc
what are the ways can you tell me please ? -
Give it up Archie.
She's only using you for kicks.
She knows how you feel and is taking advantage of you by hiding behind the lie that she doens't know how you feel -> that u're interested in her.
And worse.. she'll say that she treated you like a 'brother'. -
Quote: but its seems that thats not the case , he start taking action . giving her flower , driving her ard , TODAY he even take the medicine to her house when she is having fever .
dats wad a guy will do while sianing a ger, u see when dey get together liao u see the guy will do the same anot..
and i guess u shld move on and find another ger, no point staying at 1 target. widen up ur choice, dey mayb a better ger awaiting u...
if u realli do get her, but will it last anot? no point putting so much on juz a ger, WIDEN up ur choice. -
Originally posted by archie84:what are the ways can you tell me please ?
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I think Yunhaier is making too much sense for your case as he always does. I think you should reflect seriously on what he has said. Maybe you are not that "experienced" with girls of different types who have different "pattern" yet, but what you have said about the girl truely suggest the certain type of girls that most people can't forget about.Originally posted by archie84:what are the ways can you tell me please ?
Never give your life and attention to someone who does not make you feel wanted. -
Originally posted by archie84:what are the ways can you tell me please ? I dunno how to explain - but previewing your grounds, just heed what I had mentioned so far.
Cheers -
i just cant help myself !!!really time after time i promise myself to just be ONLY friends with her , but to some point i always and sure it will be falling into the same pit again . its like a vicious cycle .
i really wanna be with her even for one week , i will be more than happy. i never tasted what is the feeling of being loved. iNever give your life and attention to someone who does not make you feel wanted.
but at least she give that bit of attention ?
i think i kinda hate women liao !!! i have no confident in them . it not that i dont have any interest in them but ............ . -
The story goes like this. (My own anyhow storiesÂ….donÂ’t flame me arh!)
She was a young 'beautiful' wild horse.
Mysterious, attractive which almost everyone who looks at her will want to possess her. None succeded.
This wild horse have travelled many villages, came across villiage Chiefs, Stables Owners, Rich Mayors, and handsome hunters, but none had the chance to truly own her.
Some owned her only for weeks....some for months, but eventually she got her way out and travelled in the lonesome journey.
While crossing a river with huge strong current...she lost her footing and was swept together with the waters.
Cold, Icy, Wet and after a long long while....opened her eyes.
She couldn't move abit of her muscles...
The waters had carried her to the meanderings for rivers, rocks, and undercurrents of twigs.
There were cuts all over, fresh cuts.
'You're awake! All right don't move, I hope you do get what i mean...'
Ewan found her on one of the river bank close to his home.
He quickly got help from his friends and used a trolley to push the once beautiful wild horse home.
'Doctor, please save this little horse. Do anything to save it.'
Doctor: It'd be too costly to save this horse....she's too ruined. Let's put her to sleep shall we?'
'Oh NO!!! You can do that!
I'll do anything to get her save.
How much will it take?! I'll work for it i promise!'
Doctor: 'I don't have that much time for this....i'll just give you some prescriptions for cleansing and healing of wounds'
'Some things are not meant to be....Young man......'
Pauper Ewan worked very hard to get those medicine which doctor had prescribed, when he couldn't support himself properly...having to miss two meals a day is considered lucky for him.
Day after day....Ewan began to realise that all his life. He had never done something fufilling, something which he have to bear so much responsibility in his life.
He promised to himself that he would put his whole heart to get the horse back to how she was.
Weeks goes by...the beautiful horse have recovered from all cuts and the sheen reflected from her mane to tail hair.
However, she has not recovered from her injuries on her limbs.
Ewan saw her beauty like the rest of man and loved her.
He built a mini stable and provided care for this horse.
He would rather allow himself to miss his meals for days to buy wood blocks and hay for her.
Ewan spoke to her daily and she understood Ewan's effort. She seemed appreciative and welcomed his advances to be good friends.
Months past by.....unknowingly, Ewan had her with him for twelve months.
The beautiful horse healed very well and started galloping....further and further....but always back to the stable where she had stayed to recuperate.
The stable which Ewan had worked hard and built....
Slowly, it went on for three years. He named her Belle which meant beauty.
Ewan remain a pauper and Belle is getting better and growing.
Day by day....Ewan found Belle is becoming more and more precious....more precious then his own life.
Belle was away one day....and never came back.
Ewan was anxious and searched in the forest....fearing that the same encounter would happen again, or worse...some hunters would harm her.
I'm going to lose her, Ewan thought.
.
.
.
The sun began to show up early in the cold morning. Ewan went home defeated.
Too tired to pry open his eyes...he slept.
But was awoken by some noises....it came nearer and nearer to his little hut.
Ewan prayed hard that it's Belle coming home. His eyes filled with tears which couldn't hold back any longer....he trembled with anticipation and rushed out to the open.
Indeed Belle came back.
From that day on. Ewan started to track Belle's travelling routes and the spots she stops and rest. So that he could be confident if Belle goes missing again.
Unfortunately....he never understood the horse he took care of.
Belle galloped away one day and Ewan searched for her every single day.
Depressed and tearing while he fantically ran in the forest looking for her. Day till night....night till day... it went on.
Ewan felt like a madman, everyone staying by the river banks were afraid to speak to him. No one understood why the concern over a lost horse, it wasn't his in the first place.
The search still went on...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Ewan was tired. Sat by a pond somewhere deep in the jungle.
The scenery was serene and chripping of birds soothed his mind.
He closed his eyes for a moment....
An old man appeared behind him and asked 'Looking for something?'
'.....' No answer..........
Old man sighed 'Young Lad, She has not found what she truly wants, that's why nobody could ever capture her heart.
when you thought she is complete and loved her....she is not and this journey have to be her own.'
'You cannot walk this route for her.'
He continued 'This journey is necessary for her good, for her growth and for her destiny.'
'You have done your role well and will be rewarded in time to come. You have learned precious lesson yourself.'
'Till she has found what she needs, then will she choose her master. It might take years.....'
'Ask not for her to come back, hope not.
Ask for her to be save and healthy......'
'Some things are meant to beÂ…. some are not.' -
I have seen first hand the same thing happening to my close friend .. he was crazy about her , not the " ki seow " type , but that kind very understanding , everything also think about her situation first .. frankly speaking if I am a girl , I sure grab him and hid him at home .. he was so " seow " with her that even when he was told she was still sleeping with another friend ( who by the way had a baby with her last time ) he would look for reasons to justify her sleeping around .. eg cos I was too bz , I did something wrong and she is spiting me etc etc .. It was so damn bloody obvious to everyone that she is making use of him in terms of $$$ and companionship .. then one time , my friend had to go overseas for a while for 2 weeks , and every FUCKING single day , i see her with the other friend , either at our frequent joint or going to his house .. man I think about it now blood still boil ! Anyway , she went to pick him up at the airport 2 weeks later and the BITCH had the gall to say that for the past 2 weeks she behave herself .. Aaargh .. that very night , I went to the pub and gave her a HUGE piece of mind .. she muz have though all his friends are passive and timid .. Mmm one thing that till now I still dun understand .. how come she dumb enuff to act intimately with the other friend in front of us ? .. but I digress ..Originally posted by archie84:i just cant help myself !!!really time after time i promise myself to just be ONLY friends with her , but to some point i always and sure it will be falling into the same pit again . its like a vicious cycle .
i really wanna be with her even for one week , i will be more than happy. i never tasted what is the feeling of being loved. i
but at least she give that bit of attention ?
i think i kinda hate women liao !!! i have no confident in them . it not that i dont have any interest in them but ............ .
Anyway , the bottomline is this , i dunno if u r as " seow " as my friend .. I hope u r not cos everyday is like an emotional rollercoaster for him .. but the thing is he has managed to move on . The day he declared his intention , I told him to delete her number from his Hp .. it's like going thru cold turkey for him .. he was so addicted to her .. but our group of friends take turn to console him and keep him company .. and juz like drug rehab , the first step is the most difficult but things can only get better .. u will need a lot of emotion support ..
Forget about the idea of being her bf for 1 week u also happy ... simply not worth it .. drop her faster than a bucket of horseshit and remove her from your life .. u still have your own life to live .. imagine how many missed opportunties in the 6 years tat u were in love with her .. As for my friend , yes he is still single and going after another girl now .. dunno if he will succeed but I DAMN sure that he IS happier than last time ..
Take care ..
PS : dun blame me if certain part u dun understand or ceratin word missing , now it's 4 am in the morning sure gonggong one .. -
Extreme extreme.Originally posted by archie84:i just cant help myself !!!really time after time i promise myself to just be ONLY friends with her , but to some point i always and sure it will be falling into the same pit again . its like a vicious cycle .
i really wanna be with her even for one week , i will be more than happy. i never tasted what is the feeling of being loved. i
but at least she give that bit of attention ?
i think i kinda hate women liao !!! i have no confident in them . it not that i dont have any interest in them but ............ .
You're falling into vicious cycle....forbidden fruit is a temptation.
Even she would be together for a week. Would you be satisfied? That is not the point....the point is. She has got to take falls and learn on her own.
It's always two side to a coin.
It's either she has learned and matured thru all these episode.
Or she would dwindle into self pity and self centered attraction from other beaus. That's when she will live a life which only man could support her.
She is not ready now and in the near future.
My advice to you is to widen your social circle, guys and gals.
Damn late liao....gotta koonz. -
What you're doing is that you're using your emotions to "think" rather than using your senses to "think". What i meant was that if you can't control your emotions, you are just like any other guys out that who can't too and this type of guys....I'm sure most sought after girls with have experience with. If you let your emotions run over your senses, you're not going anywhere in this practical and cruel world.Originally posted by archie84:i just cant help myself !!!really time after time i promise myself to just be ONLY friends with her , but to some point i always and sure it will be falling into the same pit again . its like a vicious cycle .
i really wanna be with her even for one week , i will be more than happy. i never tasted what is the feeling of being loved. i
but at least she give that bit of attention ?
i think i kinda hate women liao !!! i have no confident in them . it not that i dont have any interest in them but ............ .
You're no longer a teen, learn to think like a adult and live like one. -
Hmm....sometimes this method works. Got to study closely.Originally posted by Ragnarok:What you're doing is that you're using your emotions to "think" rather than using your senses to "think". What i meant was that if you can't control your emotions, you are just like any other guys out that who can't too and this type of guys....I'm sure most sought after girls with have experience with. If you let your emotions run over your senses, you're not going anywhere in this practical and cruel world.
You're no longer a teen, learn to think like a adult and live like one.
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You don't love yourself.Originally posted by archie84:i just cant help myself !!!really time after time i promise myself to just be ONLY friends with her , but to some point i always and sure it will be falling into the same pit again . its like a vicious cycle .
i really wanna be with her even for one week , i will be more than happy. i never tasted what is the feeling of being loved. i
but at least she give that bit of attention ?
i think i kinda hate women liao !!! i have no confident in them . it not that i dont have any interest in them but ............ .
Inferior
Crushed self-esteem.
Low moral and confidence.
*** The above four qualities are displayed in your post throughout the process of 'loving' her. There is nothing good happening to you and in fact, the question still remains: What does it take to make you wake up? She being married? Go on and sink yourself because you will never reach where she stood, let alone get her.
P.S: Love transformed. Karmic degenerates and soar later on. Your karmic crush will stay until you gain the wisdom to know that it's mere love cosmic karma you are repaying. She would have strong Saturn/nodes/Pluto affliction against your chart.
Cheers -
yea i always seems to be joyful, happy ,cheerful but deep inside of me i am a lonly , empty , low confident kinda guy . i seldom share my problems with my friends or family cause everyone have his/her problem so why wanna burden others .
my heart cant cry anymore maybe its numb but i still have the pain . even i leave her now , maybe next time she come back again then again i will step into this trap again. what sure i do ? -
Thanx mc+square ! your story really so meaningful i can feel it .