think my younger sis is crooked
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Well, then it's your parents that have a problem with this situation, not yourself or your sister. Despite their best intentions and their blaming themselves, they placed a judgement upon you - make no mistake about that. There's the problem that you need to focus upon, because, as you can see, their judgement led them to take corrective actions that had a very negative effect on you.Originally posted by shopgirl:no i am not against lesbians...i repeat...i am not against lesbians
its simple, i do not want my sis to go thru the same thing i did...i was sent to singapore to study in an all girl's school...i was crooked once...and when my parents found out, they were devasted...they didn't blame me ...in fact they blamed themselves...apologising for not being there for me...that its their fault i turn out this way due to work obligations (ALWIZ overseas). it really broke my heart to see my mum and dad cry.
they pulled me out of school and sent me to boarding school in Oz so that i stop hanging out with , well, my crooked friens in sg. it was a very difficult phase for me.... to start life agin in a foreign country again!!!but thats how my parents deal with it, they do what they think is best for the kids. i my parents are awesome, the unconditional love they give their kids...
i dun wan my parents to go through the same thing...and i dun wan my sis to go through the same thing.. its terrible. its a very terrible terrible situation to be in. my parents loves the kids so much, it hurts to see them work so hard.And i am the oder sister, i just wan to do whats right for my sis. its my sister we are talking about.
its not about my beliefs, my values....its a simple question, dun complicate it.
Attending to the symptoms of the problem instead of the problem's source is about as useful as sticking a band-aid on a cancer patient. As you can see, it may have cleared things up between your parents and yourself (with dire consequences for you), but because they did not attend to the cause of the problem the last time, they now have to go through the whole thing again. And after this is done, what next? Will they then have to go through the whole rigmarole all over again if you or your sister happen to be pointed in a direction that they don't approve of?
Focus on the source of the problem and get it out of the way once and for all. -
Then perhaps you can better share the empathy of your sister? Talk to her and let her know how you feel in a gentle way? Open yourself up....Originally posted by shopgirl:no i am not against lesbians...i repeat...i am not against lesbians
its simple, i do not want my sis to go thru the same thing i did...i was sent to singapore to study in an all girl's school...i was crooked once...and when my parents found out, they were devasted...they didn't blame me ...in fact they blamed themselves...apologising for not being there for me...that its their fault i turn out this way due to work obligations (ALWIZ overseas). it really broke my heart to see my mum and dad cry.
they pulled me out of school and sent me to boarding school in Oz so that i stop hanging out with , well, my crooked friens in sg. it was a very difficult phase for me.... to start life agin in a foreign country again!!!but thats how my parents deal with it, they do what they think is best for the kids. i my parents are awesome, the unconditional love they give their kids...
i dun wan my parents to go through the same thing...and i dun wan my sis to go through the same thing.. its terrible. its a very terrible terrible situation to be in. my parents loves the kids so much, it hurts to see them work so hard.And i am the oder sister, i just wan to do whats right for my sis. its my sister we are talking about.
its not about my beliefs, my values....its a simple question, dun complicate it.
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would u 1 ur siblings to be straight or homo??!!.. since she is still young.. still growing.. there is chance for her to change to straight!! so y not!! n u all keep emphaising there is nothing wrg wif les blah blah..
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Invaa, with all due respect, one cannot afford to oversimplify this matter. Remember that what we have here is a girl who is in the stage of developing her identity. This is the worst possible time to risk damaging her belief that she can make her own choices and form an identity that is entirely hers, rather than something that is imposed by someone in a tenuous position of authority. You would be risking a long-term loss in favour of a short-term gain.
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so u rather let the plant grow side way on its own(when its young) den to guide it straight?!
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Some plants are meant to grow side way... How do you know the plant would be happier and hence it'll be better for the plant if it grows straight?Originally posted by InVaa:so u rather let the plant grow side way on its own(when its young) den to guide it straight?!
You're not the plant?
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wow.. its really pro-lesbianism here. idunno. for me it goes against the law of nature. if all girls are lsbian.. the human race would be wiped out too soon. but that is out of topic.
anyway, try to empathise with the sister. 1. her sister is only 14 yrs old. thats too young. Alright you might talk about her rights and not interfering in her life, etc.. but what if its not lesbianism, lets say drugs, pre-marital sex or quittng school. Would you stop her from doing all this? you probably would... (i hope). For the simple reason.. she's too young. (or maybe its wrong <-- seems more logical lol ut nvm)
anyway... shopgirl.. try to share your experiences with her. Did she know u were a lesian b4? anyhow, lesbianism is a normal (maybe not so normal) phase when growing up, and i believe that she'll probably outgrow it (as most convent girls do). so try and share your experiences in lesbianism with her .. she'll probably open up. Anyway.. what sort of a lesan is she??
by her dressin is she the "butch" type or the passive type. Because the passive type tend to outgrow it. anyway.. try n communicate more with her.. some turn to lesbianism because of the past experiences with guys (or boys in this instance). try not to rush things n be there for her n try to get her to open up to you. By the way.. try to nag less often.. its always a big put off.
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my sis is more dyke-like, thats why its so scary...i was a passive so maybe i can't relate to why she wans to be , well, boyish. perhaps if she was girlish, it wouldn't worry me. i dun know ...really...
erm ...i dun know what to say and i dun wan to talk about this ...maybe someone can tell me how to close this thread... -
Songs, that's not the point here. It's not a matter of being pro- or anti-lesbian.Originally posted by songs:wow.. its really pro-lesbianism here. idunno. for me it goes against the law of nature. if all girls are lsbian.. the human race would be wiped out too soon. but that is out of topic.
You can't deal with this issue by taking the short view, because what you're dealing with here is a matter of a person's identity. Besides, shopgirl has already described how her family has dealt with such issues in the past, and as you can see, the dyke issue was "fixed", but not without causing a whole lot of damage, which in my view was unnecessary. Over and above that, there is the question of what right one person has to impose values on another, even if they are family members.
In light of these three issues, I hope you can see how the presented issue of lesbianism is in fact only the tip of the iceberg. -
while I admit i AM pro lesbian, the point here is, that we are standing on the pro-independence side. the side which says everyone has their right to choose, everyone is entitled to have their decisions, especially with regards to their own life, respected.Originally posted by songs:wow.. its really pro-lesbianism here. idunno. for me it goes against the law of nature. if all girls are lsbian.. the human race would be wiped out too soon. but that is out of topic.
anyway, try to empathise with the sister. 1. her sister is only 14 yrs old. thats too young. Alright you might talk about her rights and not interfering in her life, etc.. but what if its not lesbianism, lets say drugs, pre-marital sex or quittng school. Would you stop her from doing all this? you probably would... (i hope). For the simple reason.. she's too young. (or maybe its wrong <-- seems more logical lol ut nvm)
anyway... shopgirl.. try to share your experiences with her. Did she know u were a lesian b4? anyhow, lesbianism is a normal (maybe not so normal) phase when growing up, and i believe that she'll probably outgrow it (as most convent girls do). so try and share your experiences in lesbianism with her .. she'll probably open up. Anyway.. what sort of a lesan is she??
by her dressin is she the "butch" type or the passive type. Because the passive type tend to outgrow it. anyway.. try n communicate more with her.. some turn to lesbianism because of the past experiences with guys (or boys in this instance). try not to rush things n be there for her n try to get her to open up to you. By the way.. try to nag less often.. its always a big put off. -
MOD [Topic is Closed upon request of Topic Starter.]