Problems Arising From An Age Gap Between You & Your Partner
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Anyone have problems communicating with their partners? Especially if there is a wide age gap between the two. I find my gf excessively childish to the point of irritation, when I get back from the office she just goes out of her way to irritate the hell out of me, just when I want to relax, I told her before but after awhile she was back at it. I guess its her idea of fun but not mine, I attribute it to her age I guess, child-like, sometimes its good cause it makes me feel young again all that energy and youthful passion, but other times I wish her thinking would quickly mature...
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Define irritation, pls?
RPOriginally posted by L@gSoN:Anyone have problems communicating with their partners? Especially if there is a wide age gap between the two. I find my gf excessively childish to the point of irritation, when I get back from the office she just goes out of her way to irritate the hell out of me, just when I want to relax, I told her before but after awhile she was back at it. I guess its her idea of fun but not mine, I attribute it to her age I guess, child-like, sometimes its good cause it makes me feel young again all that energy and youthful passion, but other times I wish her thinking would quickly mature... -
irritation = incessant bugging, asks me to do the chores and stuff, when i wanna drink or eat something snatches it from me and refuses to let me eat it while she consumes the food leaving maybe the last bit for me...I know its being playful and its out of goodwill and such, but after working dead thru sometimes more than 17 hours straight i need a break, I told her before, but she tinks I have unlimited energy or something. I almost flared up at her a few times but controlled myself saying that it was due to fatigue that I went over the edge.
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Originally posted by L@gSoN:irritation = incessant bugging, asks me to do the chores and stuff, when i wanna drink or eat something snatches it from me and refuses to let me eat it while she consumes the food leaving maybe the last bit for me...I know its being playful and its out of goodwill and such, but after working dead thru sometimes more than 17 hours straight i need a break, I told her before, but she tinks I have unlimited energy or something. I almost flared up at her a few times but controlled myself saying that it was due to fatigue that I went over the edge.
How old are the both of you? -
Heh, first time seeing Yun ask this qns.
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ya... how old are both of u guys? why dun u try to talk to ur gf abt this?
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I do ask occasionally my dear MC.Originally posted by M?square:Heh, first time seeing Yun ask this qns. 
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im 24 n shes 18,
i've talked abt it to her time and again but after awhile she goes back to it. Im beginning to sense a generation gap and a difference in mindset. its like the younger generation have a totally different idealogy from those born in say 70s-80. -
Originally posted by L@gSoN:im 24 n shes 18,
i've talked abt it to her time and again but after awhile she goes back to it. Im beginning to sense a generation gap and a difference in mindset. its like the younger generation have a totally different idealogy from those born in say 70s-80. It's not generation gap - its more like different frequency and wavelength. In the begining, you feel that it was all fun and cute of her, but with time, it gets annoying because she cannot give you the kind of mental and emotional frequency you should have when you already secure a relationship with her.
Unless CloUdiSm remix II - Beta law: communication, in short, states that difference is wavelenght will repel partners even before chase begins.
Then in the first place why did you chose her? So you didn't knew her enough as a friend to understand if she is really suitable for you - this is a killer. Had a good friend who suffered this problem as well - thought that love could conquered all, but when he was in the relationship, everything seemed different.
I suggest that you need more than just your normal talk. It has to be a serious, no-nonsense kind of soul talk. This talk has nothing to do with telling her stop being childish, etc because surface problems will remain unless the roots is tackled. Go there and start your conversation. Ask about how she sees this relationship; your love; you; what defines them; etc.
Then you will discover many things you didn't knew.
P.S: How long you knew her before getting together? less than 3 months? How long have you both been together?
Cheers -
No one's perfect.... She can be young and child-like... She can be childish as well.... Well... Remember this... You're the one who chose your gf?Originally posted by L@gSoN:Anyone have problems communicating with their partners? Especially if there is a wide age gap between the two. I find my gf excessively childish to the point of irritation, when I get back from the office she just goes out of her way to irritate the hell out of me, just when I want to relax, I told her before but after awhile she was back at it. I guess its her idea of fun but not mine, I attribute it to her age I guess, child-like, sometimes its good cause it makes me feel young again all that energy and youthful passion, but other times I wish her thinking would quickly mature... -
Dude i saw your other thread.
Fret not.. 18 is not young.. 24 is not old. I'm the same age as you.. and when i was 16, i went out with someone.. who was.. 23.. Yes. yes.. But by then, i was pretty mature.
I just think that she is spoilt and thinks her behaviour is really cute. I have never done something like that so i can't say what her aim is. Just think chill pill dude..
Age ain't nothing but a number. It's your mentality..
it's 6 years, not 60 years apart! -
personally i'd find that rather cute and charming. like having a girlfriend cum baby daughter to dote on. for me, i'd just whine at her and teh teh a bit if she gets too out of hand.Originally posted by L@gSoN:irritation = incessant bugging, asks me to do the chores and stuff, when i wanna drink or eat something snatches it from me and refuses to let me eat it while she consumes the food leaving maybe the last bit for me...I know its being playful and its out of goodwill and such, but after working dead thru sometimes more than 17 hours straight i need a break, I told her before, but she tinks I have unlimited energy or something. I almost flared up at her a few times but controlled myself saying that it was due to fatigue that I went over the edge.
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I know Anna Nicole Smith was 60+ years younger than her husband, who pasted away a few years ago.Originally posted by Lingos:Dude i saw your other thread.
Fret not.. 18 is not young.. 24 is not old. I'm the same age as you.. and when i was 16, i went out with someone.. who was.. 23.. Yes. yes.. But by then, i was pretty mature.
I just think that she is spoilt and thinks her behaviour is really cute. I have never done something like that so i can't say what her aim is. Just think chill pill dude..
!
Age ain't nothing but a number. It's your mentality..
it's 6 years, not 60 years apart -
It's not generation gap - its more like different frequency and wavelength. In the begining, you feel that it was all fun and cute of her, but with time, it gets annoying because she cannot give you the kind of mental and emotional frequency you should have when you already secure a relationship with her.
i agree wif ya 1st para, ever since we started the mental level we speak to each other is getting further n further defined. I admit we are thinkin at diff. levels.
Unless CloUdiSm remix II - Beta law: communication, in short, states that difference is wavelenght will repel partners even before chase begins.
Then in the first place why did you chose her? So you didn't knew her enough as a friend to understand if she is really suitable for you - this is a killer. Had a good friend who suffered this problem as well - thought that love could conquered all, but when he was in the relationship, everything seemed different.
I suggest that you need more than just your normal talk. It has to be a serious, no-nonsense kind of soul talk. This talk has nothing to do with telling her stop being childish, etc because surface problems will remain unless the roots is tackled. Go there and start your conversation. Ask about how she sees this relationship; your love; you; what defines them; etc.
Then you will discover many things you didn't knew.
P.S: How long you knew her before getting together? less than 3 months? How long have you both been together?
Cheers
We really hitted it off pretty well last year, she was intro by another fren of mine, its been already 6 months. Things were pretty sweet for the 1st inital 3 months (honeymoon period).
As to ur no nonsense kinda talks yep i did that too, i read up on alot of relationship books on dealing with a partner whose maturity level is much lower. but that didnt work out, it always ends in her sobbing and me coaxing her. She says she treats this seriously. And i wanna believe her, but sometimes her actions really casts doubts into my mind. -
yes tats it!!! she tinks shes cute when she does all that! i know guys like gers who "teh teh" abit but too much is overkill...Originally posted by Lingos:Dude i saw your other thread.
Fret not.. 18 is not young.. 24 is not old. I'm the same age as you.. and when i was 16, i went out with someone.. who was.. 23.. Yes. yes.. But by then, i was pretty mature.
I just think that she is spoilt and thinks her behaviour is really cute. I have never done something like that so i can't say what her aim is. Just think chill pill dude..
Age ain't nothing but a number. It's your mentality..
it's 6 years, not 60 years apart! -
umm....she wooed me actuallyOriginally posted by Devil1976:No one's perfect.... She can be young and child-like... She can be childish as well.... Well... Remember this... You're the one who chose your gf? -
baby daughter...damn...tat sends chills down my spine...Originally posted by boy in blues:personally i'd find that rather cute and charming. like having a girlfriend cum baby daughter to dote on. for me, i'd just whine at her and teh teh a bit if she gets too out of hand.
suddenly i feel all sugar-daddyish
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well.. you're gonna be a daddy someday, Sugar...Originally posted by L@gSoN:baby daughter...damn...tat sends chills down my spine...
suddenly i feel all sugar-daddyish -
no thanks, no lil demons at the momentOriginally posted by boy in blues:well.. you're gonna be a daddy someday, Sugar... -
That reminds me... what do you call a young girl going out with a much older man?
ponders for a moment... turns his head to the side
Enters boy in blues into the forum. *a boy in blues comes by and whispers sugar daddy * Oh yea... you call that person a SUGAR DADDY!
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my gf turns to me and shouts "you freaking pedophile". "My, my, thats a big word for an 8 year old to use"....
Lucky, this is not the case. -
Originally posted by L@gSoN:i agree wif ya 1st para, ever since we started the mental level we speak to each other is getting further n further defined. I admit we are thinkin at diff. levels.
We really hitted it off pretty well last year, she was intro by another fren of mine, its been already 6 months. Things were pretty sweet for the 1st inital 3 months (honeymoon period).
As to ur no nonsense kinda talks yep i did that too, i read up on alot of relationship books on dealing with a partner whose maturity level is much lower. but that didnt work out, it always ends in her sobbing and me coaxing her. She says she treats this seriously. And i wanna believe her, but sometimes her actions really casts doubts into my mind. A good effort on your part and continue them.
Her action never says that she don't love you - it's merely her personality that 'spice' up your relationship. There are three things you have to do:
I) Recongise the land mines; namely the areas where you will blow your top when she persist in her behavior during such situations/timing/events/etc. She has to know, so she will know when and where to avoid stepping onto your temper.
II) Realise that changing a person will not work, because in the end, she will not be herself and you will lose feelings gradually. Don't attempt change - attempt improving. She has to know specifically the issue before you can exercise improvement upon that area. By telling her 'xxxxxxx' will not work - guide her, the way you want her to learn.
III) Learn to beauty of compromising. If you noticed, II and III has to work hand-in-hand. Her behavior may have flaws, but so are yours. Patience is the key to these three points and with patience, you will develop a kind of compromising.
P.S: She still loves you - that's most important. Think about it.
Cheers -
Well... At least you're a willing party? It take 2 hands to clap in most situations you know?Originally posted by L@gSoN:umm....she wooed me actually -
SK, yeah that is too much. Gross isn't it?Originally posted by :I know Anna Nicole Smith was 60+ years younger than her husband, who pasted away a few years ago.
i'm trying to say.. 6 years is not far apart. -
Yes Dude, i so totally agree!Originally posted by L@gSoN:yes tats it!!! she tinks shes cute when she does all that! i know guys like gers who "teh teh" abit but too much is overkill...
Teh teh is not a good look for anyone.
HAHHA.. I think it's called Sa Jiao in chinese, it's irritating and very annoying. HAHA..Some women at 18 are already mothers.
Ok.. i know there are exceptions to this. But lots of girls from Singapore, those who have it easy in life. Can't understand how hard it is to bring in the dough.
She also could be trying to get back at you because you work long hours and can't be with her all the time as she is obviously (i assume she is not working full time.. not from the sounds of it) leading a leisurely life.