disheartened

• misery=(

  30 Mar 04, 15:09

  i felt so disheartened and disappointed in my best friend. so disappointed that i feel like not seeing her ever again. it really hurts to know that your best friend can't be there for you when you need her most.
  
  this thing is affecting me so much that i can't eat nor sleep nor work properly. i feel myself disintegrating slowly...
• claud

  30 Mar 04, 15:16

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  i felt so disheartened and disappointed in my best friend. so disappointed that i feel like not seeing her ever again. it really hurts to know that your best friend can't be there for you when you need her most.
  
  this thing is affecting me so much that i can't eat nor sleep nor work properly. i feel myself disintegrating slowly...

  u wanna share???
• dark_slayer79

  30 Mar 04, 15:17

  relax...
• sgboy2004

  30 Mar 04, 15:17

  
  
  
  _______________________
  sgboy2004, the Good Boi
  Croco Corner
  
• misery=(

  30 Mar 04, 15:22

  i was very pissed off when i knew that she went out with her bf as promised but she forgot abt her promise to go some place with me.
• <sk>

  30 Mar 04, 15:23

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  i was very pissed off when i knew that she went out with her bf as promised but she forgot abt her promise to go some place with me.

  Well, she should'nt be making empty promises to you. I think you have a right to be disheartened but maybe you can take this chance to forgive her.
• boy in blues

  30 Mar 04, 15:24

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  i was very pissed off when i knew that she went out with her bf as promised but she forgot abt her promise to go some place with me.

  poor thing. she scared her boyfriend jealous mah.
• misery=(

  30 Mar 04, 15:27

  she said that she's sorry. i feel very hurt so i told her that i lost faith in her
• Yunhaier

  30 Mar 04, 15:28

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  i was very pissed off when i knew that she went out with her bf as promised but she forgot abt her promise to go some place with me.

  Best friend....
  
  Boyfriend....
  
  Usually boyfriend wins.
  
  In life, if you believe in the existence of promise relating to relationship as a while, usually, you will on the the losing end.
  
  Woman in relationship will never be the same. I suggest you take things lightly because I doubt she will be feeling as heated as you. It's not about being best friend and expecting best friend to remain forever and you has to be top in her list - as time pass, you just have to be adaptable. Personal priority always get shifted around - we can't help it.
  
  Cheers
• misery=(

  30 Mar 04, 15:28

  i am jealous too.
• misery=(

  30 Mar 04, 15:32

  i asked her to go with me to pray my grandma for 2 years which she always conveniently forgets. he asked her to go tomb-sweeping with him and she agreed. can you imagine my hurt? on top of that, i was burdened by many family obligations and i really wish to have her by my side. all she do was to msg me that she still cares and that she's sorry. how do you expect me to feel?
• Yunhaier

  30 Mar 04, 15:43

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  i asked her to go with me to pray my grandma for 2 years which she always conveniently forgets. he asked her to go tomb-sweeping with him and she agreed. can you imagine my hurt? on top of that, i was burdened by many family obligations and i really wish to have her by my side. all she do was to msg me that she still cares and that she's sorry. how do you expect me to feel?

  You wished she was by your side, but when she can't, so it means she is not fulfilling the obligation of a best friend?
  
  So a best friend means you have to do all that?
  
  You said you are jealous - I hope you notice the problem is not about her, its more about you.
  
  You can't expect a best friend to substitute duties like a bf - like many things in life you want to involve her with you. (I am pretty sure you are single?) This can be done for a period, but not forever. Eventually, your fantasy will still be shattered because she has her own life to lead and cannot cater to every details in your life.
  
  Yes, when you are hitting rock bottom of your life and she cannot be there - it really wonders how this friendship came about. But are you?
  
  I have many best friends (or good friends if you feel that one cannot have more than one best friend - both brothers and jie mei). They are not always there - but when I critically need them, everyone pops out.
  
  P.S: Friends are like relationship as well - they need their personal space and attention.
  
  P.S: Are you Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces or Taurus?
  
  Cheers
• misery=(

  30 Mar 04, 15:51

  i am a Leo.
  if one can't even rely on best friend then who can i count on?
  
• claud

  30 Mar 04, 15:52

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  i am a Leo.
  if one can't even rely on best friend then who can i count on?
  

  try to speak to ur family members...
• misery=(

  30 Mar 04, 15:53

  i can't communicate with my mum and my dad is overseas. there's nobody i can turn to
• claud

  30 Mar 04, 15:55

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  i can't communicate with my mum and my dad is overseas. there's nobody i can turn to

  any siblings??
• misery=(

  30 Mar 04, 16:00

  i cant communicate with my siblings either
• Yunhaier

  30 Mar 04, 16:02

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  i can't communicate with my mum and my dad is overseas. there's nobody i can turn to

  You have a serious need for emotional dependancy and if you were to ask me - it's never good to depend on someone for this dependency. You are likely to inflict greater emotional damage inside because nobody even your bf can give you the kind of security you crave.
  
  It has nothing to do with your best friend, nobody or anything - you are quite an empty soul, which give rise to your need to cling onto people. And by clinging, you tightened your grip which makes relationship difficult. People retreat and you fall immediately.
  
  There is nothing substantial inside you that you can hold onto yourself - you seek someone for that.
  
  You are the kind of girl who is very afraid of being hurt emotionally and practice your own form of possessiveness you never realise, which resulted in situations which you ultimately feared - wounded emotions.
  
  You need to acknowledge this part of you before you plan your next move.
  
  Cheers
• claud

  30 Mar 04, 16:02

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  i cant communicate with my siblings either

  there is no such thing as cant communicate la... its whether u got put in the effort n try anot..
• misery=(

  30 Mar 04, 16:07

  i have mixed feelings. on one hand, i wanted to give up because of the hurt. on the other...guess i am really a pathetic empty soul. can anyone help me?
• Yunhaier

  30 Mar 04, 16:16

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  i have mixed feelings. on one hand, i wanted to give up because of the hurt. on the other...guess i am really a pathetic empty soul. can anymore help me?

  I can only tell you one thing:
  
  Your situations makes you a emotionally vulnerable person. People may think that you need a bf, which will be a prefect person who can cater for your needs - but on a serious note: I wouldn't advice you to.
  
  There are three things you need to do:
  
  I) Learn to love yourself. Until you truely learn to value of loving yourself - i predict between 2 to 4 relationship crisis you may have to undergo to realise this essential thingy in love. Nothing is forever, only you yourself can be there for you all the time.
  
  II) Expand social circle. Your emotions needs is heavy and your focus point revolves only your best friend, but your best friend's world doesn't only revolves around you. You need to enlarge your networking and obviously - sgforum is one example you can hang around and socialize.
  
  III) Reflect upon yourself. Like I have said in my prior post - if you can't realise those points in that post - doing the above two considerations above have no effect.
  
  Cheers
• misery=(

  30 Mar 04, 16:25

  in all relationships, i always put in my best but i feel that i dun get what i deserve
• Yunhaier

  30 Mar 04, 16:32

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  in all relationships, i always put in my best but i feel that i dun get what i deserve

  See what I mean - its a cycle until you know what's wrong with yourself. In love, effort put doesn't not equate to result receive. Love is never fairy tale - you are living in a world where people will never match up to your illusionary fantasy - you have to return to the real world.
  
  You need someone capable to brainwash you emotionally or you pull through yourself and I am very sure if you want to get out of this emotional mess - you need to do the latter first.
  
  Cheers
• misery=(

  30 Mar 04, 16:52

  yun,
  u really amaze me. u always seem to know others's thoughts so well...
  
  i always thot that there is this invisble cord that binds me and my best friend together, a cord so strong that nothing can break it. throughout the years, we had many quarrels, be it small or big. in many occasions, we even thought of giving up but we always managed to patch up. i believe in a small corner in our hearts, we have a place for each other. i am the type who can do almost anything for my best friend so i expect the same attitude from her as well. i place her as first priority so i expect that from her as well. i know i am wrong to think this way but i persisted in my fantasy. i believe that such friendship do exist.
  
  if i tell you that i have thought things through oredi, i would be lying to you. i haven't. my heart tells me to call her and patch back. my mind tells me that even if we patch back this time, the problem will not be solved. i am at a dilema. do you think i should patch up with her?
• Yunhaier

  30 Mar 04, 17:07

  Originally posted by misery=(:

  yun,
  u really amaze me. u always seem to know others's thoughts so well...
  
  i always thot that there is this invisble cord that binds me and my best friend together, a cord so strong that nothing can break it. throughout the years, we had many quarrels, be it small or big. in many occasions, we even thought of giving up but we always managed to patch up. i believe in a small corner in our hearts, we have a place for each other. i am the type who can do almost anything for my best friend so i expect the same attitude from her as well. i place her as first priority so i expect that from her as well. i know i am wrong to think this way but i persisted in my fantasy. i believe that such friendship do exist.
  
  if i tell you that i have thought things through oredi, i would be lying to you. i haven't. my heart tells me to call her and patch back. my mind tells me that even if we patch back this time, the problem will not be solved. i am at a dilema. do you think i should patch up with her?

  When you expected the same attitude on how a person should treat you based on the way you treat her, you are in for big trouble. You are disappointed because you expected something - love bends on giving, expects nothing. Friendship works the same way. The more you demand a return, the more misery you get from the relationship.
  
  And you mean there is such thing as a break up and patch back a friendship the way you do like in BGR? There are but don't do it like BGR sense.
  
  Do not attempt to make someone fulfilling duties of a BGR partner, when he/she ain't supposed to.
  
  Respect space and personal freedom. Try to avoid clinging onto her. Walk by yourself and you give room for this friendship to grow.
  
  Cheers