can give some suggestions?

• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 01:24

  if you have a close friend who wants to start a BGR now. but you feel that as friend still ok, but to go steady, somehow don't click. then how to tell the person without hurting the person's feelings? guys and gals here, please give advice. quite urgent. thanks.
• weidev

  2 Apr 04, 01:42

  tell her u r gay...
• True_Xerion

  2 Apr 04, 01:45

  tell it as it is? after all, good frens shld have no problems communicating clearly? she shld understand if she really is a good friend
  
  TX
• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 02:11

  Originally posted by True_Xerion:

  tell it as it is? after all, good frens shld have no problems communicating clearly? she shld understand if she really is a good friend
  
  TX

  thanks for replying. but what if she says to you, "please can we give it a chance to start and see how it goes? why can't you give me a chance? what is it about me you cannot accept in a BGR partner?"
  
  then what will you say?
  
  
• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 02:12

  Originally posted by weidev:

  tell her u r gay...

  thanks for replying. but please offer constructive advice. try again.
• [ r 0 y s t 0 n ]

  2 Apr 04, 02:16

  Originally posted by boy in blues:

  what if she says to you, "please can we give it a chance to start and see how it goes? why can't you give me a chance? what is it about me you cannot accept in a BGR partner?"
  
  then what will you say?

  Hmm.. Give it a try and see if it works? No harm wat..
• weidev

  2 Apr 04, 02:17

  Originally posted by boy in blues:

  please offer constructive advice. try again.

  well... tell her tat u r nt ready to get into a r/s nw la... maybe due to studies...
• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 02:26

  Originally posted by [ r 0 y s t 0 n ]:

  Hmm.. Give it a try and see if it works? No harm wat..

  thanks for replying. but what if 2 girls request this of you? what will you tell the girl you need to reject? you can't say it's because you are choosing the other 1. because the rejected girl will still come back and ask you why you can't give her a chance but instead gave to the successful girl.
• True_Xerion

  2 Apr 04, 02:29

  Originally posted by boy in blues:

  thanks for replying. but what if she says to you, "please can we give it a chance to start and see how it goes? why can't you give me a chance? what is it about me you cannot accept in a BGR partner?"
  
  then what will you say?
  
  

  ok i'm not too good at these things haha, best i would tell her is the truth and that u'd rather keep and friend than try n then lose both friend & stead ..... hope this makes sense haha.
  
  
• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 02:36

  Originally posted by weidev:

  well... tell her tat u r nt ready to get into a r/s nw la... maybe due to studies...

  thanks for giving a better suggestion. i knew you could do better than that. what if she's aware of your active and multi-tasking lifestyle and that cannot be a valid reason. but it's just a matter of whether you want to go BGR with her or not? then what will you say?
• [ r 0 y s t 0 n ]

  2 Apr 04, 02:42

  Originally posted by boy in blues:

  thanks for replying. but what if 2 girls request this of you? what will you tell the girl you need to reject? you can't say it's because you are choosing the other 1. because the rejected girl will still come back and ask you why you can't give her a chance but instead gave to the successful girl.

  So you are rejecting da girl now because you think you two are better off friends or because you have 2 girls and you have to choose?
  
  Tell her nicely that you don't love her if you really don't.. Because forced will never have happiness..
  
  I am no love expert too.. Just my opinions..
• True_Xerion

  2 Apr 04, 02:45

  Originally posted by boy in blues:

  thanks for replying. but what if 2 girls request this of you? what will you tell the girl you need to reject? you can't say it's because you are choosing the other 1. because the rejected girl will still come back and ask you why you can't give her a chance but instead gave to the successful girl.

  wah now become 2 girls? u so yandao ahh? post pic 4 us to see leh ....
  
  TX
• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 02:48

  Originally posted by True_Xerion:

  ok i'm not too good at these things haha, best i would tell her is the truth and that u'd rather keep and friend than try n then lose both friend & stead ..... hope this makes sense haha.
  
  

  thanks. you don't need to be too good at these things for me to appreciate your well-meaning advice. but what if she asks you why you can't have her as BGR partner? so that she can go ahead and change those things. what if she's quite persistant and determined. then what will you say to her?
• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 02:52

  Originally posted by True_Xerion:

  wah now become 2 girls? u so yandao ahh? post pic 4 us to see leh ....
  
  TX

  nah. i am nowhere near as yandao as you. but what if those 2 girls are after you? what will you say to that poor girl you need to reject?
• True_Xerion

  2 Apr 04, 02:55

  i so ugly, if got 2 grrls go after me i go buy 4D + toto + horse + whatever, all sure win wan!
• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 02:58

  Originally posted by [ r 0 y s t 0 n ]:

  So you are rejecting da girl now because you think you two are better off friends or because you have 2 girls and you have to choose?
  
  Tell her nicely that you don't love her if you really don't.. Because forced will never have happiness..
  
  I am no love expert too.. Just my opinions..

  what if she asks you why you don't love her. she promises that for you, she can willingly change for you. she won't feel forced at all. will that make you accept her?
• [ r 0 y s t 0 n ]

  2 Apr 04, 03:02

  Originally posted by boy in blues:

  what if she asks you why you don't love her. she promises that for you, she can willingly change for you. she won't feel forced at all. will that make you accept her?

  So now still have da 2 girls issue not?
  
  Love or don't love sometimes can't explain ba.. Feeling not there change or not also no use.. Tell her she will not find happiness in da relationship if YOU really don't love her lor.. I am sure she can find her guy in time to come..
• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 03:05

  Originally posted by True_Xerion:

  i so ugly, if got 2 grrls go after me i go buy 4D + toto + horse + whatever, all sure win wan!

  so far, i can see you are
  
  1) quite helpful
  2) humble
  3) and have a healthy sense of humor.
  
  you won't have 2 girls going after you. but maybe 20?
• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 03:11

  Originally posted by [ r 0 y s t 0 n ]:

  So now still have da 2 girls issue not?
  
  Love or don't love sometimes can't explain ba.. Feeling not there change or not also no use.. Tell her she will not find happiness in da relationship if YOU really don't love her lor.. I am sure she can find her guy in time to come..

  got 2 girls. but neither of them know of the others intention. partly because they don't contact much. but i think your reply to that girl should best not involve the other girl. keep it less complicated.
• [ r 0 y s t 0 n ]

  2 Apr 04, 03:19

  Originally posted by boy in blues:

  got 2 girls. but neither of them know of the others intention. partly because they don't contact much. but i think your reply to that girl should best not involve the other girl. keep it less complicated.

  Yeah.. But maybe sometimes being honest is da best policy? Haha..
• weidev

  2 Apr 04, 03:22

  seriously... i will juz tell her way i really feel...
  
  "i am nt ready to get into a r/s nw... i am nt mentally prepared for it..."
• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 03:24

  Originally posted by [ r 0 y s t 0 n ]:

  So now still have da 2 girls issue not?
  
  Love or don't love sometimes can't explain ba.. Feeling not there change or not also no use.. Tell her she will not find happiness in da relationship if YOU really don't love her lor.. I am sure she can find her guy in time to come..

  she asks you to clearly define to her what are the characteristics and qualities of a girl that will make you have those Feelings. for you, she will gladly change to suit you. after that, you have no more reason not to love her liao.
• [ r 0 y s t 0 n ]

  2 Apr 04, 03:31

  Originally posted by boy in blues:

  she asks you to clearly define to her what are the characteristics and qualities of a girl that will make you have those Feelings. for you, she will gladly change to suit you. after that, you have no more reason not to love her liao.

  She shouldn't change because it would be unnatural.. People love you for who you are.. Not what you become..
• True_Xerion

  2 Apr 04, 03:32

  Originally posted by boy in blues:

  so far, i can see you are
  
  1) quite helpful
  2) humble
  3) and have a healthy sense of humor.
  
  you won't have 2 girls going after you. but maybe 20?

  *pengz*
• boy in blues

  2 Apr 04, 03:48

  thanks everybody for all your valuable contributions. but i really need to rest now. please update me if you happen to think of more things to add. no well-meaning contribution is too small for me. i appreciate all. tomorrow, you may face the same problem and feel thankful that you had given some thought to similar situations beforehand. hope to hear more from more guys and gals too. goodnight.