2 different guys, 2 different lives
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Need some help around here. My life is in a mess.
I have a bf whom i have been with for years. i knew a guy 1 yr ago and since then, i have been leading 2 lives. aka 2 timing. the new guy knows about my bf. and at first me and the new guy started off as very good frens till we found we like each other......
I am an idiot. I can't make up my mind as to who i wan. i m like dragging this whole damn thing with 2 persons, wasting their time. i feel guilty towards my bf for betraying him and feel guilty towards the new guy for delaying him. I think i dun deserve both of them. mayb i shd just die.
Is it possible to like 2 persons at a time? what shd i do??? -
Yes... In fact it can be pretty common to like 2 or more people at the same time... Look at 2 scenerios...Originally posted by 2 hearts:Need some help around here. My life is in a mess.
I have a bf whom i have been with for years. i knew a guy 1 yr ago and since then, i have been leading 2 lives. aka 2 timing. the new guy knows about my bf. and at first me and the new guy started off as very good frens till we found we like each other......
I am an idiot. I can't make up my mind as to who i wan. i m like dragging this whole damn thing with 2 persons, wasting their time. i feel guilty towards my bf for betraying him and feel guilty towards the new guy for delaying him. I think i dun deserve both of them. mayb i shd just die.
Is it possible to like 2 persons at a time? what shd i do???
1. You like 2 or more people at the same time, but you're not involved with more than one of them (The more common picture of the 2 scenerios)....
2. You in 'a relationship' or relationships involving 3 or more parties (inclusive of yourself) for BGR....
And as your instinct is probably telling you by now? You'll burn yourself a hole by the way you're handling the current situation... As it's just like a walking time-bomb... One you'll have to hide him from the truth till? The other, frustrations and confusions brewing within the relationship you're having with him.... Pretty obvious where you'll be heading? Unless all luck's on your side..? Well... More like it'll take a miracle to me to be honest?
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mi dun even hav a gf...and yet u got 2 bf...walau...not fair
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sgboy2004, the Good Boi
Croco Corner
Croco Movie -
if you plan to settle down with either of them, then you have to make a choice lor.
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Thanks for the views!
actually more or less i know that i shd be going back to my bf cos i know he can't live without me.....
but just tat i can't bear to let go the other guy. I can't say who i like more cos i really think i like both!! ARGH!!
the other guy is prepared tat i will leave him anytime. he even told me that to like someone not nec means to be with tat person. seeing him/her happy can liao.
Even if i return back to my bf, i will feel guilty. but if i stay with the other guy, i dunno how my bf will handle.... cos he really really luvs me.... -
Originally posted by sgboy2004:mi dun even hav a gf...and yet u got 2 bf...walau...not fair
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sgboy2004, the Good Boi
Croco Corner
Croco Movie
i believe that a pot will definitely has its own lid. you will find your lid soon. -
You should be happy that you have two guys in your life who love you deeply. However, you know that you need to make a decision and quick one as well! Time and again you have delayed the inevitable and allowed to lead 2 lives.
Now is a good time to choose who will you be happier! Not necessarily be your bf. Its your happiness here...
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Dun worry about sgboy he has claim on all the gers in this forum anyways. But for now, he's too young!Originally posted by 2 hearts: i believe that a pot will definitely has its own lid. you will find your lid soon. 
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there is no such things as having 2 person la... i suppose u gotta make ur decision quick b4 ur 1st bf find out.Originally posted by 2 hearts:Need some help around here. My life is in a mess.
I have a bf whom i have been with for years. i knew a guy 1 yr ago and since then, i have been leading 2 lives. aka 2 timing. the new guy knows about my bf. and at first me and the new guy started off as very good frens till we found we like each other......
I am an idiot. I can't make up my mind as to who i wan. i m like dragging this whole damn thing with 2 persons, wasting their time. i feel guilty towards my bf for betraying him and feel guilty towards the new guy for delaying him. I think i dun deserve both of them. mayb i shd just die.
Is it possible to like 2 persons at a time? what shd i do???
if im in ur situation, i wld let the 2nd bf go man.. seriously i suppose u spend quality times with ur 1st bf so u all can last so long..
if u chose the 2nd bf, well juz dun regret ur decision...
cheers.. -
there is no such things as having 2 person la... i suppose u gotta make ur decision quick b4 ur 1st bf find out.Originally posted by 2 hearts:Need some help around here. My life is in a mess.
I have a bf whom i have been with for years. i knew a guy 1 yr ago and since then, i have been leading 2 lives. aka 2 timing. the new guy knows about my bf. and at first me and the new guy started off as very good frens till we found we like each other......
I am an idiot. I can't make up my mind as to who i wan. i m like dragging this whole damn thing with 2 persons, wasting their time. i feel guilty towards my bf for betraying him and feel guilty towards the new guy for delaying him. I think i dun deserve both of them. mayb i shd just die.
Is it possible to like 2 persons at a time? what shd i do???
if im in ur situation, i wld let the 2nd bf go man.. seriously i suppose u spend quality times with ur 1st bf so u all can last so long..
if u chose the 2nd bf, well juz dun regret ur decision...
cheers.. -
I am at loss for words....
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Holding on to both will hurt not only you but it will also end up hurting the two of them even more. So it's best you make a decision. It's good that you have decided and ultimately, hope everybody is happy with this.Originally posted by 2 hearts:Thanks for the views!
actually more or less i know that i shd be going back to my bf cos i know he can't live without me.....
but just tat i can't bear to let go the other guy. I can't say who i like more cos i really think i like both!! ARGH!!
the other guy is prepared tat i will leave him anytime. he even told me that to like someone not nec means to be with tat person. seeing him/her happy can liao.
Even if i return back to my bf, i will feel guilty. but if i stay with the other guy, i dunno how my bf will handle.... cos he really really luvs me.... -
Originally posted by 2 hearts:Need some help around here. My life is in a mess.
I have a bf whom i have been with for years. i knew a guy 1 yr ago and since then, i have been leading 2 lives. aka 2 timing. the new guy knows about my bf. and at first me and the new guy started off as very good frens till we found we like each other......
I am an idiot. I can't make up my mind as to who i wan. i m like dragging this whole damn thing with 2 persons, wasting their time. i feel guilty towards my bf for betraying him and feel guilty towards the new guy for delaying him. I think i dun deserve both of them. mayb i shd just die.
Is it possible to like 2 persons at a time? what shd i do???
Like all common cases of 2-timing, yours fall under the same catergory: of someone who seemed to be unable to make decision for their own love affairs, but didn't realise the roots behind this tragic scene.
Like all common cases of 2 timing: between one old lover and a new lover.
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Please realise by now that this mess is created due to your conflicts between the choice you ought to do and the your insecurity within yourself. According to CloUdiSm remix III: On the surface it may seemed that you like two guys - but actually you are trying to maintain this love model called LXB Model to protect yourself and to be in the best of both worlds.
Securities comes from your old love - you know he wouldn't leave you, but the flame is weak. He falls under the Plain Water theory (PWL) - tasteless but cannot live without.
The excitement comes from your new love - but you cannot gauge/see long term future with him. He knows about your situations, knows that you have a bf - but made mutual choice to be together. This deceptive relationship cannot see much fulfillment.
In maintaining LXB model, people always place much empathy on their partners - thinking that it will hurt them if you fail to upkeep this model. But in reality, it causes more hurt. Psychologically, at least 50% of the reason contribute to the fact that you don't want to be label as a 'bad egg', plus the above false empathy - you remain where you are.
One interesting note here: You mentioned you will probably stay with your bf because he loves you so much. Then you go about saying how gulity you will feel when that happen to the other guy... you spoke everything about them - nothing about you. So you are staying in the relationship because your bf loves you alot and knowing that he couldn't and wouldn't leave you at all? Now my question:
Are you still in love with him or are you in love with security that he could give?
Advice?
Like both of them? Why not see who is more suitable for you? In my years of relationship analysis, I have learn this: No two person are equally suitable. You can't quantity love, therefore you can judge who you love more, but you can certainly know in ALL aspects on a person, if he is more suitable and blends with your emotions, lifestyle, mental frequency, and everything else essential. This suitability has to be JUDGE by current present standard and NOT the past. (E.g. your bf may be suitable in the past, but as time passed, people changed, habits formed, etc - this may not be the case)
Drop the defensive preception of yours, thinking that they will be hurt when you make your choice. What makes you think both of them are damn happy now? You made a wrong move and you completely feared regrets - but let me tell you: face them. Deception in relationship will crumble from within. If this is a lesson for you to learn, embrace them.
P.S: Are you a Pisces, Scorpio or Libra?
Cheers -
wah, that is a handful of good advice! i m a pisces.Originally posted by Yunhaier:P.S: Are you a Pisces, Scorpio or Libra?
Cheers typical pisces who always cannot make up her mind.
.......... deception? perhaps i m really decieving myself. actually i know that my bf suits me the most. in terms of lifestyle, character and everything. mayb you are right. the old flame just die off. a new guy is sth new and exciting.
actually i know what i shd do, just tat i need someone to tell me that what i m intending to do is right. i m such a lousy fella! i know tat i shd give up the new guy. i have been trying to do that for the past 3 mths!!! but just dunno how to let go!
perhaps i shd spend more time with my bf to catch up with the quality time i have missed with him..... -
well ..... you could be the 3rd oneOriginally posted by sgboy2004:mi dun even hav a gf...and yet u got 2 bf...walau...not fair
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haha, how old is Sgboy?Originally posted by eutjin:well ..... you could be the 3rd one -
haiz... decision are always hard to make and cruel.. u cant satisfy both parties, either 1 have to feel hurt... haiz..
i am in love with a girl in my class in my poly for 2 years... me n her is like never ending, she wants to be single, but yet she have special feelings for me... we have been dragging on for 2 years plus... but no matter wat i am always here to keep her goes on, to support her.. i did have some other girls which said they like me.. but i cant deceive myself and other girls, so i decide to stay single and wait for tat girl in my class... -
Originally posted by 2 hearts:wah, that is a handful of good advice! i m a pisces. typical pisces who always cannot make up her mind.
.......... deception? perhaps i m really decieving myself. actually i know that my bf suits me the most. in terms of lifestyle, character and everything. mayb you are right. the old flame just die off. a new guy is sth new and exciting.
actually i know what i shd do, just tat i need someone to tell me that what i m intending to do is right. i m such a lousy fella! i know tat i shd give up the new guy. i have been trying to do that for the past 3 mths!!! but just dunno how to let go!
perhaps i shd spend more time with my bf to catch up with the quality time i have missed with him..... DO IT, Miss Pisces - don't waste anymore time, if everything were to be destroyed, so be it. You started this mess, you have to take the blow someday. Take it now.
P.S: It's not pisces cannot make up their mind - they believe that love = suffering, worst if her natal Saturn afflicts her Moon sign. Your ruling planet is Neptune - don't let deception overrule your actions.
Cheers -
wah, you into horoscope? how come know so much about it? can 2 pisces be together?Originally posted by Yunhaier: DO IT, Miss Pisces - don't waste anymore time, if everything were to be destroyed, so be it. You started this mess, you have to take the blow someday. Take it now.
P.S: It's not pisces cannot make up their mind - they believe that love = suffering, worst if her natal Saturn afflicts her Moon sign. Your ruling planet is Neptune - don't let deception overrule your actions.
Cheers -
well it seems like your bf loves you alot and cherishes you. I think you should take that into consideration. Also, who do you love more if you can't decide then I think you should take the first consideration and be with your bf only.
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Like Yun and have suggested. Stop your silly thoughts and make a fast decision before much damage is made and situation get drills deeper..Originally posted by 2 hearts:wah, you into horoscope? how come know so much about it? can 2 pisces be together?
Your 'basic'. No good. Please make up your mind as to what you want, you're not good at having lengthy thoughts over such matters and playing a lengthy game... For your kinda background, such 'games' would usually only result in tragedy.
Regards. -
after reading your post, i could really resonate with your situation except that i was that guy with a ger who oredi had a bf.Originally posted by 2 hearts:Need some help around here. My life is in a mess.
I have a bf whom i have been with for years. i knew a guy 1 yr ago and since then, i have been leading 2 lives. aka 2 timing. the new guy knows about my bf. and at first me and the new guy started off as very good frens till we found we like each other......
I am an idiot. I can't make up my mind as to who i wan. i m like dragging this whole damn thing with 2 persons, wasting their time. i feel guilty towards my bf for betraying him and feel guilty towards the new guy for delaying him. I think i dun deserve both of them. mayb i shd just die.
Is it possible to like 2 persons at a time? what shd i do???
like you, she was also a pisces. even tho we were not "officially" a couple but in my heart, i treat her as if she is my gf. we spent a lot of time together (her bf was in ns then) and we were both aware of how we felt towards each other. i love her very much even tho i haf to admit i couldnt see a future ahead.
in the end i was sacrificed. it was not something unexpected but the manner it was done hurt me v much. she refused to take my call, talk to me or communicate with me in any way. this is how she decided to remove me fr her life and it really hurts. in the end apart fr respecting her decision and staying away from her, there was nothing i can do.
i just like you to know that whatever decisions you make, be fair to both parties. talk to them face-to-face. this is the very least you could do. i really do not wish to see another guy in the situation as me.
in the end, i knew that she had a new bf. the taste was bitter but what could i do? i juz saw her tdy with her bf..i thought i would not feel anything but oh boy, how wrong i was... -
hahaha...Originally posted by :Dun worry about sgboy he has claim on all the gers in this forum anyways. But for now, he's too young! -
Originally posted by 2 hearts:wah, you into horoscope? how come know so much about it? can 2 pisces be together? I am not into horoscope; I am into astrology. And yes anybody can be together. A free-will decision to be in a relationship is a test - yours is almost guaranteed a karmic version.
Be wise about your timing and your decision now.
Cheers -
I wrote an article on dating gals based on a investor approach two years back, read the extracts:
I have people telling me that they date exclusively, meaning that they only date one at a time and held the strong belief of faithfulness to their girlfriend/boyfriend. If only their partner think the same as they do, then I have nothing more to say. Love is just like the stock market, fluctuating every single minute unpredictably.
Like an investor who include many different financial securities in his portfolio to protect himself against market risks. An individual can too consider a few potential boyfriends/girlfriends on a dating list so that when a relationship with any of them sours, you still have another to fall back on.
But all these require a lot of time and effort since you will not be devoting your energy on only one person but two or even more. In addition, more financial resources have to be pooled to sustain this course of action in the long run.
Remember this, when it comes to boy-girl relationship, it is not worthwhile to give your all to one party without knowing whether he/she is willing to do the same in return. Even if your partner is faithful to you now does not necessarily imply that he/she will still remain true in the days to come. The future holds too many uncertainties.
It really saddens me whenever I see suicide, assault and even murder cases resulting from failed romances. If only these jilted ‘has-beens’ have an alternative, they would not have taken it so hard. So do you understand the advantages of diversification now?
So what's the big deal of liking two gals or guys at the same time? In the past, I even dated three gals simultaneously to protect myself from being hurt. 2 Hearts, you are doing it right, Just Bring It!