My friend needs help.
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hmm.. i had a gal friend who is on the verge of breaking down. Did not understand what she want to get stuck with the jerk. Thats wat she says:
when she first got to know him, everythink was lovey dovey. because she was hurt by love many times (never knew why she never seems to wake up from it) she decide to put a test to a him. She said she kissed a guy but actually she didnt, just pop over a guy hse she knew for two days but she know this fellow for a few years bcos he happens to b her ex-classmate ex-bf. Her bf came to plead but she refuse to soften ( bet she mus b feeling terrible, she those devoted type ) and problems start arising. before this cease, another start, she used to out smart a guy, becos the guy cld nt get wat he wanted, he spread tales about her, of cos ppl believe him becos she is wild but not loose. than everytink she started to do seems wrong to her bf... waking up early in morning to hlp him type his resume, bought a hp for him which he complain no wap, don wan, pop over to his hse almost everyday and return (one stay west,one stayed north and she has to study and work), he keeps shouting at her for the slightest tinks and when my friend got mad and shouted back, he blames her. so there is point of time she got so mad and went out with guy friends (happen to ask her out) than i dunno how a fight broke up between them (her guy friends and her) than becos of previous incident i mention, she went to test her bf again, saying she did sth physical with them (tt point of time they were broke up) but actually she didnt do anytink physical with them. the tinks got so intense between those friends and her tt she worries the guy might spout nonsense so she wanted to test out how he wld react if they really sabotage her. great.. now straight after this incident, everythink become worse. in fact, i tink he treats her like a toy, he always wanted to get physical, when my friend refuse, he gets mad. now he says what he treats her is becos wat she had done.. omg.. my fren did nth unfaithful. he scolds her when the tinks she wanted to eat is in a crowded area.. list = endless...
pls..forumers.. tell me your opinion, whose right whose wrong? what can i do as her friend to help... I cant bear seeing her come crying to me almost everyday. I tried telling her to let go but she cant seems to... I m clueless of what to do. -
How long have it been this way?
If you've read through some of the other threads in AA by some of our 'advisors'... You should know that 'testing' is never really a smart thing to do usually? Not to mention the extreme to which she's abusing it?
On the context of a normal human... I'll only be surprised if her bf don't really react to it? Wonder what she was trying to prove anyway...?
Anyway.... For what you've done, you've got to pay a 'price'?
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ask ur friend to dump the guy he is not worth her love
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I dunno why some people here thinks that love can be tested...I presume your friend dont look like litmus paper,does she?
testing people like what your friend did has its consequences.She is now experiencing it and its up to her if she wants to stay put.Personally, I think she messed it up,not that the guy is entirely faultless...Your friend should tell the truth to the guy...if the guy dont believe...I dont see how the relationship can have a future... -
haha.. girl orbi good~ deserve this when test love.. but good for her to leave this guy knowing his true colours!
okay la.. both in fault. but fault lies in the girl -
need help ah.. i think this young lady of yours should really go tell the truth lor!
as for the guy, smack his arss till its soft, send him to gay pub sell him!(revenge)
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Originally posted by Angles:hmm.. i had a gal friend who is on the verge of breaking down. Did not understand what she want to get stuck with the jerk. Thats wat she says:
when she first got to know him, everythink was lovey dovey. because she was hurt by love many times (never knew why she never seems to wake up from it) she decide to put a test to a him. She said she kissed a guy but actually she didnt, just pop over a guy hse she knew for two days but she know this fellow for a few years bcos he happens to b her ex-classmate ex-bf. Her bf came to plead but she refuse to soften ( bet she mus b feeling terrible, she those devoted type ) and problems start arising. before this cease, another start, she used to out smart a guy, becos the guy cld nt get wat he wanted, he spread tales about her, of cos ppl believe him becos she is wild but not loose. than everytink she started to do seems wrong to her bf... waking up early in morning to hlp him type his resume, bought a hp for him which he complain no wap, don wan, pop over to his hse almost everyday and return (one stay west,one stayed north and she has to study and work), he keeps shouting at her for the slightest tinks and when my friend got mad and shouted back, he blames her. so there is point of time she got so mad and went out with guy friends (happen to ask her out) than i dunno how a fight broke up between them (her guy friends and her) than becos of previous incident i mention, she went to test her bf again, saying she did sth physical with them (tt point of time they were broke up) but actually she didnt do anytink physical with them. the tinks got so intense between those friends and her tt she worries the guy might spout nonsense so she wanted to test out how he wld react if they really sabotage her. great.. now straight after this incident, everythink become worse. in fact, i tink he treats her like a toy, he always wanted to get physical, when my friend refuse, he gets mad. now he says what he treats her is becos wat she had done.. omg.. my fren did nth unfaithful. he scolds her when the tinks she wanted to eat is in a crowded area.. list = endless...
pls..forumers.. tell me your opinion, whose right whose wrong? what can i do as her friend to help... I cant bear seeing her come crying to me almost everyday. I tried telling her to let go but she cant seems to... I m clueless of what to do.
Wah piangz, I nearly didn't know what you were talking about at all.
***
Your friend has a problem and this problem will constantly affect her relationship until the day when wisdom enters into her life and she sees through this flaw. She was hurt by love many times; not realising that actually, majority of this wounds comes from her own hands.
In the first part, you talk about her trying a silly 'test' on her bf, saying that she kissed another guy when in fact she didn't. And she pop over a guy's house she knew for two days? (Seriously, ex-classmate's ex-bf is quite a distance away in terms of degree in friendship) - seriously, what's her motive, aim, intention and objective of going over?
With such behavior: it really not surprising to see her being in-and-out of love. Test him? Come on, she loves to see her guy get jealous over her - ok, let me predict something here:
I) This guy didn't have much problem at all until she decide to 'test' him with all sort of funny thingy?
II) The girl's past relationships probably ended largely on a bad notes.
Then bf's attitude started to change. Then she throws in another lie and all that friend's issue thingy and discovered that his guy wanted sex with her and she doesn't know what to do.....
***
This woman's relationship can never be stable because her subconscious couldn't allow her that. It would be, if she leave things be and not create issues out from her own hands. By creating issues is as if she created rough waves, smashing it against the base of her relationship. She is the kind of woman that needed not just simple love - but a love that could ride her out from her daily life and transformed her anew.
She dies by routine relationship, therefore subconsciously, she stirs up issue to keep relationship 'exciting'. Don't believe? There are logical, more common sense solution to some of her personal issues - she had to conjure these incredible tales and methods of problem solving which anyone would have knew that this way of doing things will DEFINITELY implicates her situations.
She wants her man to respect her, yet she acted as if she has loose morals and even her man drop that kind of respect essential to a gf. A man must sees her woman as equal - if not, what's left is what she has to offer sexually because emotionally & spiritually, she is not at that point of level. The man return back to the beast - love and respect fled away.
*** She needs to review and relook herself. I cannot understand her concept of 'problem solving' and trust me, she is not lost - she simply doesn't know what she is doing. Being lost now is a result of past decisions. There is a need to improve character and possible way of handling her own relationship.
She can continue this way forever - then let me assure her that no man will ever find her worthy in their eyes like her current man. She can give him up now, for he has find no meaning in relationship with her as well. This relationship has zero growth - deception clings heavily onto her love.
Enlightenment and time is what she needs now.
P.S: She is a Scorpio?
Cheers -
Screwed up.....i mean the girl.
Duh -
test 4 fcuk.... if u wana play w fire u mus b prepared to get burned... she deserves wat she gets...
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If she can understand that things are probably mainly her fault to start with... If she can clear things up... If she can accept the fact that things would probably never be the same as the past again for her relationship...
If not? Help...? -
i oreadi told her that but what done cannot be undone. Besides, the guy knows she never had much friends and her words is so sarcastic towards other guys... I didnt believe he wld believe what she said... Her hse phone and hp bill is so damn cheap until I cant tink of how she can entertain them...besides.. she aint the type who will go know guys. One most important thing, she nv was once being unfaithful... even before the following 2 incidents... he already treat her like shit. Ok.. she told the truth.. remorseful and i can say she is really putting in a lot of effort to change.. people make mistakes dont they? furthermore she didnt do anytink unfaithful..shldnt she deserves another chance? The guy has no right to treat her like tt too... don like be hard and don wan.. y bother torturing her? this already shows the guy's character itself has some prob!
i really appreciate your comments..not that she like testing ppl. it jus tt have you tried being emotionally and metally and physically tortured by people she put in her heart to help? although, i nv knew what it felt like but i m positive none of the ppl i knew been thru wat she had not just relationship alone but a combination of everytink. if anyone was in her shoes... majority wld have jump... -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
nope she is a gemini. Wah piangz, I nearly didn't know what you were talking about at all.
***
Your friend has a problem and this problem will constantly affect her relationship until the day when wisdom enters into her life and she sees through this flaw. She was hurt by love many times; not realising that actually, [b]majority of this wounds comes from her own hands.
In the first part, you talk about her trying a silly 'test' on her bf, saying that she kissed another guy when in fact she didn't. And she pop over a guy's house she knew for two days? (Seriously, ex-classmate's ex-bf is quite a distance away in terms of degree in friendship) - seriously, what's her motive, aim, intention and objective of going over?
With such behavior: it really not surprising to see her being in-and-out of love. Test him? Come on, she loves to see her guy get jealous over her - ok, let me predict something here:
I) This guy didn't have much problem at all until she decide to 'test' him with all sort of funny thingy?
II) The girl's past relationships probably ended largely on a bad notes.
Then bf's attitude started to change. Then she throws in another lie and all that friend's issue thingy and discovered that his guy wanted sex with her and she doesn't know what to do.....
***
This woman's relationship can never be stable because her subconscious couldn't allow her that. It would be, if she leave things be and not create issues out from her own hands. By creating issues is as if she created rough waves, smashing it against the base of her relationship. She is the kind of woman that needed not just simple love - but a love that could ride her out from her daily life and transformed her anew.
She dies by routine relationship, therefore subconsciously, she stirs up issue to keep relationship 'exciting'. Don't believe? There are logical, more common sense solution to some of her personal issues - she had to conjure these incredible tales and methods of problem solving which anyone would have knew that this way of doing things will DEFINITELY implicates her situations.
She wants her man to respect her, yet she acted as if she has loose morals and even her man drop that kind of respect essential to a gf. A man must sees her woman as equal - if not, what's left is what she has to offer sexually because emotionally & spiritually, she is not at that point of level. The man return back to the beast - love and respect fled away.
*** She needs to review and relook herself. I cannot understand her concept of 'problem solving' and trust me, she is not lost - she simply doesn't know what she is doing. Being lost now is a result of past decisions. There is a need to improve character and possible way of handling her own relationship.
She can continue this way forever - then let me assure her that no man will ever find her worthy in their eyes like her current man. She can give him up now, for he has find no meaning in relationship with her as well. This relationship has zero growth - deception clings heavily onto her love.
Enlightenment and time is what she needs now.
P.S: She is a Scorpio?
Cheers[/b] -
Originally posted by Angles:i oreadi told her that but what done cannot be undone. Besides, the guy knows she never had much friends and her words is so sarcastic towards other guys... I didnt believe he wld believe what she said... Her hse phone and hp bill is so damn cheap until I cant tink of how she can entertain them...besides.. she aint the type who will go know guys. One most important thing, she nv was once being unfaithful... even before the following 2 incidents... he already treat her like shit. Ok.. she told the truth.. remorseful and i can say she is really putting in a lot of effort to change.. people make mistakes dont they? furthermore she didnt do anytink unfaithful..shldnt she deserves another chance? The guy has no right to treat her like tt too... don like be hard and don wan.. y bother torturing her? this already shows the guy's character itself has some prob!
i really appreciate your comments..not that she like testing ppl. it jus tt have you tried being emotionally and metally and physically tortured by people she put in her heart to help? although, i nv knew what it felt like but i m positive none of the ppl i knew been thru wat she had not just relationship alone but a combination of everytink. if anyone was in her shoes... majority wld have jump... .....
She thinks of 'funny ideas' too much... As much as it may be tormenting for her, it probably won't be too far for her bf too...
The relationship have probably been all along a struggle... He trying to keep his mind in one piece, she having crazy thoughts and ideas...
I'm in no position to comment much on the bf's personality. If she thinks that he's sucky... Please do everybody a favor.... Please end the relationship... Like you've said, it had been bad all along... After all these which have just happened? Well.. Would take a miracle if you expect the relationship to get any better?
Is she the quiet type? Is her bf overwilling controlling type? Don't like her to be with other guys... Do you know this friend of yours very well? How well...?
Ok. Can't completely blame her maybe? Has he been neglecting her? Neglecting her and yet controlling her life to an extent at the same time?
Does she have little friends altogether?
Hmm.... ...... -
Yunnie, this time i guessed it.Originally posted by Angles:nope she is a gemini.
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There is no right or wrong. I hate to sae dis, but dis is 1 side of da story, maybe da opposition got another version? In my pt of view, da main concern is not to noe whos right or wrong, BUT how to help yr fren overcome dis tide.Originally posted by Angles:hmm.. i had a gal friend who is on the verge of breaking down. Did not understand what she want to get stuck with the jerk. Thats wat she says:
when she first got to know him, everythink was lovey dovey. because she was hurt by love many times (never knew why she never seems to wake up from it) she decide to put a test to a him. She said she kissed a guy but actually she didnt, just pop over a guy hse she knew for two days but she know this fellow for a few years bcos he happens to b her ex-classmate ex-bf. Her bf came to plead but she refuse to soften ( bet she mus b feeling terrible, she those devoted type ) and problems start arising. before this cease, another start, she used to out smart a guy, becos the guy cld nt get wat he wanted, he spread tales about her, of cos ppl believe him becos she is wild but not loose. than everytink she started to do seems wrong to her bf... waking up early in morning to hlp him type his resume, bought a hp for him which he complain no wap, don wan, pop over to his hse almost everyday and return (one stay west,one stayed north and she has to study and work), he keeps shouting at her for the slightest tinks and when my friend got mad and shouted back, he blames her. so there is point of time she got so mad and went out with guy friends (happen to ask her out) than i dunno how a fight broke up between them (her guy friends and her) than becos of previous incident i mention, she went to test her bf again, saying she did sth physical with them (tt point of time they were broke up) but actually she didnt do anytink physical with them. the tinks got so intense between those friends and her tt she worries the guy might spout nonsense so she wanted to test out how he wld react if they really sabotage her. great.. now straight after this incident, everythink become worse. in fact, i tink he treats her like a toy, he always wanted to get physical, when my friend refuse, he gets mad. now he says what he treats her is becos wat she had done.. omg.. my fren did nth unfaithful. he scolds her when the tinks she wanted to eat is in a crowded area.. list = endless...
pls..forumers.. tell me your opinion, whose right whose wrong? what can i do as her friend to help... I cant bear seeing her come crying to me almost everyday. I tried telling her to let go but she cant seems to... I m clueless of what to do.
I have quite a few frens who recently have r/s prob oso lah. Every1 whom I "lectured", I used diff approach. for yr fren case, I cant tell U wats da best wae coz honestly I dunno. All I noe is: yr fren need some1 to rely on in times of despair & disappointment. Be there for her coz if U r not, who will take dat place? So might as well take initiative to concern yr fren more, listen to wat she has to sae. lend her yr ear, time, attention & care. She will be grateful for dat when she settles down. -
i tink both don give a damn to their relationship.. why carry on when there`s no happiness in it??Originally posted by M?square:Screwed up.....i mean the girl.
Duh
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Though every girls wish for a relationship is a dramatic one.Originally posted by Angles:i oreadi told her that but what done cannot be undone. Besides, the guy knows she never had much friends and her words is so sarcastic towards other guys... I didnt believe he wld believe what she said... Her hse phone and hp bill is so damn cheap until I cant tink of how she can entertain them...besides.. she aint the type who will go know guys. One most important thing, she nv was once being unfaithful... even before the following 2 incidents... he already treat her like shit. Ok.. she told the truth.. remorseful and i can say she is really putting in a lot of effort to change.. people make mistakes dont they? furthermore she didnt do anytink unfaithful..shldnt she deserves another chance? The guy has no right to treat her like tt too... don like be hard and don wan.. y bother torturing her? this already shows the guy's character itself has some prob!
i really appreciate your comments..not that she like testing ppl. it jus tt have you tried being emotionally and metally and physically tortured by people she put in her heart to help? although, i nv knew what it felt like but i m positive none of the ppl i knew been thru wat she had not just relationship alone but a combination of everytink. if anyone was in her shoes... majority wld have jump...
But she has crossed the line. Not only have caused her all the nonsense she has to take, but also the distrust people have given her.
I don't think you understood our intentions of msgs.
We are questioning your friend's intention.
this already shows the guy's character itself has some prob! >>> She has gone thru numerous relationships and many(all) failed. Did you figure out why did it fail? She's too faithful and yet it failed?
Very unlikely, there's something which she didn't tell you and something which you would not know about her as a friend.
Try asking that guy to tell you his story. You might have a better view of what's going on. No use defending her when she's the one who really should look into herself.
Tortured. Hmm....ever wonder how come even tortured and known the sufferings thru a relationship, she would still want another?
Self infliction? Maybe. Looking for a prince who could safe her? Maybe too.
Too many possiblities. But her action cause regrets.
So was she tortured? Yes... She depressed? Yes.
She shuning away from r/s? I don't think so.
Why? She like it that way? Maybe. *shivers*
After a number of constant relationship encounters. You can see a trend...pattern about the person and how she handles it.
From there, you can diagnose whether what AA said is reliable or not.
i m positive none of the ppl i knew been thru wat she had not just relationship alone but a combination of everytink. >>> i'm very positive that if you really know what she's thinking, you're her. You would jump. Too psycho.....
Cheers -
yes..he is a control freak who often neglect her for soccer...Originally posted by Devil1976: .....
She thinks of 'funny ideas' too much... As much as it may be tormenting for her, it probably won't be too far for her bf too...
The relationship have probably been all along a struggle... He trying to keep his mind in one piece, she having crazy thoughts and ideas...
I'm in no position to comment much on the bf's personality. If she thinks that he's sucky... Please do everybody a favor.... Please end the relationship... Like you've said, it had been bad all along... After all these which have just happened? Well.. Would take a miracle if you expect the relationship to get any better?
Is she the quiet type? Is her bf overwilling controlling type? Don't like her to be with other guys... Do you know this friend of yours very well? How well...?
Ok. Can't completely blame her maybe? Has he been neglecting her? Neglecting her and yet controlling her life to an extent at the same time?
Does she have little friends altogether?
Hmm.... ......
yes...no much friends. i noe her very well.. -
i tell u sth... u probably wont believe.. but there are such guys which i term as jerks... they nv want a relationship jus someone to ease their time or mayb not even love... wats impossible in this world. its not physco but how many big rough waves have you been thru... u don seem to believe that ppl as bad as she has met exist but the fact is u prob haven met such ppl urself.Originally posted by M?square:Though every girls wish for a relationship is a dramatic one.
But she has crossed the line. Not only have caused her all the nonsense she has to take, but also the distrust people have given her.
I don't think you understood our intentions of msgs.
We are questioning your friend's intention.
this already shows the guy's character itself has some prob! >>> She has gone thru numerous relationships and many(all) failed. Did you figure out why did it fail? She's too faithful and yet it failed?
Very unlikely, there's something which she didn't tell you and something which you would not know about her as a friend.
Try asking that guy to tell you his story. You might have a better view of what's going on. No use defending her when she's the one who really should look into herself.
Tortured. Hmm....ever wonder how come even tortured and known the sufferings thru a relationship, she would still want another?
Self infliction? Maybe. Looking for a prince who could safe her? Maybe too.
Too many possiblities. But her action cause regrets.
So was she tortured? Yes... She depressed? Yes.
She shuning away from r/s? I don't think so.
Why? She like it that way? Maybe. *shivers*
After a number of constant relationship encounters. You can see a trend...pattern about the person and how she handles it.
From there, you can diagnose whether what AA said is reliable or not.
i m positive none of the ppl i knew been thru wat she had not just relationship alone but a combination of everytink. >>> i'm very positive that if you really know what she's thinking, you're her. You would jump. Too psycho.....
Cheers -
a classic case of a slut stuck with a low esteem feller
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ok... she is insecure and blar blar.. why not wld she want to test the fellow? she lacks the confidence and she tinks to too much.. she feel tt ppl in the world are scary... backstabbing and all... just for a motive.. pure intention was to make sure she didnt pick the wrong fellow... cos she believe that ppl who really love their bf or gf will love them unconditionally.. don tink she watch too much drama but she saw tis in real life. have you guys ever try lecturing ur friends to dump their partner tho they were being a jerk and how many actually listen? they sacrifice everythink for them yet got back nth... have you ever try shaking ur head when u see ur friend in such manner? There were very good times between them now even after what all has happen that make her confused... her past relationship ended neat and clean no hassle. i know many forumers who read this never believe what she say or wat i say maybe but mayb u guys haven encounter tt yet (sorry no offence). She knows she has to let go bcos there isnt a future between them but she finds it hard... she knows the consequences and she is pob regretting she even wanted to test him in the first place. but i believe in a relationship, there is NO one sided wrong business.. it takes 2 hands to clap for anytink.
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you test friendship/relationship with time. you face problems together and overcome them. you don't test it with lies.
the problem can be solved once she tells the truth to her boyfriend. that all along all these scenarios she painted was fake. it is a risk she has to take. then she should let her boyfriend choose if he wants to forgive her.
if he does forgive her. then they should move on and treat each other with honesty. -
I'll stand by sillyme's answer about that.
Well. Defending your friend is one thing/matter. And i'll respect your decision. Let's say she's going into another relationship. Rather, if she would happen to enter into a new relationship.
I'm interested to know what would your advice would be. If she's going to do the same thing(drama) again.
I'm interested to know your next cause of action again...
Care to enlighten the people of what your answer will be? -
Seriously, unless she is here to read all this; it's never the same as you reading for your friend and replying on her behalf.
Cheers -
Her nature is quite deeply in roots. Romance and 'perfect' loving... Yes... These don't happen only in dramas... They happens in life too... They happens at the moment when you see them happening... That also comes to the point... The moments she shared with her bf... Good times... Bad times.... I don't usually believe (though not impossible) that it'll be just complete sh|t between a couple.. From a beginning... Till the end... Otherwise they probably won't have got together in the 1st place? And your friend probably indulge too much into the 'pieces of perfect love'....Originally posted by Angles:yes..he is a control freak who often neglect her for soccer...
yes...no much friends. i noe her very well..
ok... she is insecure and blar blar.. why not wld she want to test the fellow? she lacks the confidence and she tinks to too much.. she feel tt ppl in the world are scary... backstabbing and all... just for a motive.. pure intention was to make sure she didnt pick the wrong fellow... cos she believe that ppl who really love their bf or gf will love them unconditionally.. don tink she watch too much drama but she saw tis in real life. have you guys ever try lecturing ur friends to dump their partner tho they were being a jerk and how many actually listen? they sacrifice everythink for them yet got back nth... have you ever try shaking ur head when u see ur friend in such manner? There were very good times between them now even after what all has happen that make her confused... her past relationship ended neat and clean no hassle. i know many forumers who read this never believe what she say or wat i say maybe but mayb u guys haven encounter tt yet (sorry no offence). She knows she has to let go bcos there isnt a future between them but she finds it hard... she knows the consequences and she is pob regretting she even wanted to test him in the first place. but i believe in a relationship, there is NO one sided wrong business.. it takes 2 hands to clap for anytink.
Imagine yourself reading a love novel... Starting... Then you starts to cry... Then happy for how a couple managed to 'overcome' their mishaps.... Then cry again when it ends a tragic tale... Your friend here has turned the pages back to the moments of 'happiness'... Virtually staring at them... Not wanting to turn the pages, she refuse to let go....
It would also be surprising if there're none happy moments at all in her relationship..? If that's the case then we probably won't even have to urge her to let it go? She'll probably just as easily choose to end it herself? Yup....
So let's put some things aside for now? Forget the part where she actually 'tested' him... And the part where he's actually a jerk...
Finally it all still boils down to what they want in this relationship? Is it going in the correct direction? For both of them...?
My AFTERWORDS...
Your gf is pathetic... Do mention some of the appropriate things that I've mentioned here to her? If you deliever it well, it should make her think a bit and figure things out by herself...
I don't know what happened to the bf. But from the way you've described him, he certainly don't sound too good? (for whatever reasons which might have caused him to be like that...)
Your gf is very much depressed. Not only because of the direct impact from the relationship.. But more like from the 'indirect' one... She's kinda trapped within it, so it'll probably make it kinda hard to see... Besides.. She ain't really the kinda material which would think very clear mindedly...
There're mainly 2 things about the failure of her to handle the current situation (we won't be mentioning about the bf's faults here. Not that he's not at fault, but he's kinda 'far-reached' for now.. So I'll just put him as an 'external factor')...
1. Her nature. She usually don't think very clear mindedly. She's witty and creative in thinking but her thinking patterns are usually unstable. (Hence, she'll need much guidance. In this case probably would be you. Be a bit more firm and harsh at times if you have to.)
2. Her altered nature. Due to her relationship, she's very much under a 'suppressed nature'. How long have this relationship been going on? For as long as it has been in this form, she've probably suffered equally long.. And because of her own nature, it'll probably make it VERY OBVIOUS (she complaining and behaving like a crazy woman from time to time) or not obvious at all (If her nature is quite pre-dominance and she have been behaving like this all the time...)...
For the 2nd point (this is important), I would advise her to give herself a bit of a chance to 'open up' and break free...
Take either a short break from her bf (go for all the things she wanna do, meet the people she wanna meet and make more friends...) or take a CLEAN CLEAR break off with him...
I'm not suggesting that her bf is so bad that she'll just have to break up with him and there won't be a future for this relationship... (in fact I won't really know for now as limited is mentioned about her bf...)
But she'll just have to take the 'track' to feel the difference for herself... Not saying that life would be better without her bf... But her current lifestyle with her bf totally don't fit her... If she does as suggested, she should be able to comprehense what I'm trying to say....
And for that important step, I hope it'll greatly aid her in making a clearer and better decision for herself as to whether she wants this relationship or not.. And how she should be going about tackling it if she still wants the relationship...
Regards.