4 yrs & u've yet to go thru customary marriage. Looks like she's growing impatient or even tired of waiting.Originally posted by itroubled:I¡¯m currently doing a degree in UK. My wife is in spore. I¡¯ve been here for almost 9 months and about to return in another 3 weeks time. We¡¯ve been married for almost 4 years... Thou, it has always been the case when she stayed with me before I came. Her claim was that no married (ROM) couple would stay together before they have their customary dinner...
Personally... I think you should let you know about this place and your postings... If possible, you can even ask her to PM me if she gets herself a nick here...Originally posted by itroubled:what does it shows when i read her a letter that i wrote abt the things i've thought about; admitting mistakes and the willingness to change, she cried. bet her eyes must be swollen for days. but when i asked her why she cried, she said.. " when i watch sad movies, i cried too"
but on the other hand, she was determine to let go; to give up all the n years of relationship.
sometimes, i really feel very confused.. are there still hope for us? thou... i'll be going back to spore in days time.. i'm really worried. couldn't sleep and eat well.
I've thought about all these in different point of view. some may says why after all these years.. then she voice out? why only after n years of marriage? personally i feel that she did it at the right time. the environment and situation that i'm in now that allowed me to think much more than i know i would do back in spore. The urge to change things round is really strong. Never felt so much about changing myself. Placed my ego above everything else in the past..including her feelings. really regretted.
I've told her abt the forum page that i've wrote. not sure if i should let her read it.
I'm open to any opinion. like to hear more from helpful souls out there.. to see things in different angle which i might have missed.
Not gonna make another mistake.
BTW, i liked to thank all whom had replied. I can feel the force supporting me.
Thank you.
Really sorry that things had to turn out this way for you. As long as you are willing to fight for this relationship, it's never too late to change things for the better. You've identified the problems of your relationship so work towards changing for the better. You need to talk to her when you go back, because it's easier to understand how she feels when you see her face to face.... Sometimes you just need to see each other to understand how much each other had meant to you.... All said and done, at this point in time, the most important thing you should do is not feel sorry for yourself b ut instead think about how you can try to win her heart back again ....Originally posted by itroubled:what does it shows when i read her a letter that i wrote abt the things i've thought about; admitting mistakes and the willingness to change, she cried. bet her eyes must be swollen for days. but when i asked her why she cried, she said.. " when i watch sad movies, i cried too"
but on the other hand, she was determine to let go; to give up all the n years of relationship.
sometimes, i really feel very confused.. are there still hope for us? thou... i'll be going back to spore in days time.. i'm really worried. couldn't sleep and eat well.
I've thought about all these in different point of view. some may says why after all these years.. then she voice out? why only after n years of marriage? personally i feel that she did it at the right time. the environment and situation that i'm in now that allowed me to think much more than i know i would do back in spore. The urge to change things round is really strong. Never felt so much about changing myself. Placed my ego above everything else in the past..including her feelings. really regretted.
I've told her abt the forum page that i've wrote. not sure if i should let her read it.
I'm open to any opinion. like to hear more from helpful souls out there.. to see things in different angle which i might have missed.
Not gonna make another mistake.
BTW, i liked to thank all whom had replied. I can feel the force supporting me.
Thank you.
My mum also thinks that a couple should not stay together even though they are legally married (ROM) and have not gone thru the customary dinner. Well, what she said makes sense also..she said the female would likely to be looked down upon by the male's side.Originally posted by itroubled:I¡¯m currently doing a degree in UK. My wife is in spore. I¡¯ve been here for almost 9 months and about to return in another 3 weeks time. We¡¯ve been married for almost 4 years. Gone thru the ROM but not the customary dinner yet. we have been staying together in my parents¡¯ place ever since after our ROM. When I left for UK, she moved back to her parents¡¯ place¡ much nearer to her working place. Now when I¡¯m in preparation to go back to spore for anout 3-4 months.. she¡¯s telling me that she might not move back to stay with me when I return. Saying that the distance is too far from her work place. Thou, it has always been the case when she stayed with me before I came. Her claim was that no married (ROM) couple would stay together before they have their customary dinner. Did she had a changed of heart? Why didn¡¯t she said that during those times in my parent¡¯s place? To her, it is like we had done things wrong back then and we should not carry on staying together every night from now on.
I was so looking forward to be with her every night when I return. Now that she said that¡ I guess things have changed. I¡¯m so sad to hear that.. and that now I can¡¯t concentrate on my exams in days time. How can things be wrong when we have actually done it for almost 3 years! And it just turned wrong over 9 months!
What is wrong here?