Pls advice...
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but seriously, how can all her time revolve around her bf?? unless she feels damn insecure about our relationship, i try to get her to talk abt it, but she says she doesnt know how to say it. I can understand if she finds it difficult to say, but the bottom line then is that there is communication problem. this is something we have to get over with lah.....and the 3 day "cool off" period is really needed to do some quiet thinking, so that we can be calm about it, and not get so agitated abt it. Agitated people always say stupid things, and that is not constructive.Originally posted by audlenelee:so mean!
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During the first year, he will call every now and then. We will meet every other day. But as time past, he will not call. I request him to sms me in the morning and call me when he reached home. As time past, he finds it troublesome. He said i don't trust him but that is not my point. I wish to know how is he? So finally now we compromise to call/sms me every night. But he gave me a feeling that he don't like it as well. I didnt stop him from meeting his friends nor restrict his freedom but he still say that i am possessive. I am lost.Originally posted by BaByBoY:any clues on how he feels that u r too possesive??
wat haf u done to make him feel tat??
u need not telll u wat u did..
juz tink abt it..
if u feel u did it overboard then u should know that u show relac a bit..
if u`re puzzled by how much extent u should do then plz kinldly tell us wat u did?? -
No, i am not a cancerian.Originally posted by wuming78:r u a cancerian?
anyway though its hard one mus learn to let go. ask yourself why u r being so possessive - insecurity? own happiness? and ask yourself wat will make your bf happy. in the end i suppose tts wat u want rite?
I want both of us to be happy that why now i am seeking help lor. Guess i cant have the best of both world.
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Mebbe my gf thinks like u. So let me try to help u from a guy's prespective.Originally posted by *Twinkle Bell*:During the first year, he will call every now and then. We will meet every other day. But as time past, he will not call. I request him to sms me in the morning and call me when he reached home. As time past, he finds it troublesome. He said i don't trust him but that is not my point. I wish to know how is he? So finally now we compromise to call/sms me every night. But he gave me a feeling that he don't like it as well. I didnt stop him from meeting his friends nor restrict his freedom but he still say that i am possessive. I am lost.
U wish to know how he is. Ok fair enough, but u want to know it every night? To a guy, this can become boring because it becomes routine. I would lose interest as well to call my gf every night. If a guy has something he feels he wants to tell u, he will call u automatically. I would. It is not so much that u stop him from meeting his friends or what, but the fact that u want to know everything about him that is driving him nuts. I mean yes, you should try to know as much about him as possible. But it is not every day that there are new topics to talk about, and when there is no topic to talk about, you and him will feel strange when u attempt to chat together, right? Even the sending of SMS or chatting by phone every day can be routine, and turn less meaningful with each day, so try to do more variety of things with less frequency for each, i think that will help booster things up.
I am also sure, if your bf replies u with a "today i am fine" every day when u ask him how he is, u would feel sick over this standard reply too over time. I guess the trick is to try to talk about different things each time, becoming too routine doesnt really give the spark that a relationship needs from time to time.
So now, I try to send cards OCCASIONALLY to my gf, not all the time, otherwise it would become routine and less meaningful by the day. Coming out for supper SOMETIMES is good enough, I mean, try to do different things together, and not always do the same things.
If ur bf doesnt take the initiative, then u have to do it. Remember, it takes 2 hands to clap.
Just my 2 cents worth.
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Well said! loudmonkey.
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Good point. And to note, this is not only from a guy's perspective.Originally posted by loudmonkey:Mebbe my gf thinks like u. So let me try to help u from a guy's prespective.
U wish to know how he is. Ok fair enough, but u want to know it every night? To a guy, this can become boring because it becomes routine. I would lose interest as well to call my gf every night. If a guy has something he feels he wants to tell u, he will call u automatically. I would. It is not so much that u stop him from meeting his friends or what, but the fact that u want to know everything about him that is driving him nuts. I mean yes, you should try to know as much about him as possible. But it is not every day that there are new topics to talk about, and when there is no topic to talk about, you and him will feel strange when u attempt to chat together, right? Even the sending of SMS or chatting by phone every day can be routine, and turn less meaningful with each day, so try to do more variety of things with less frequency for each, i think that will help booster things up.
I am also sure, if your bf replies u with a "today i am fine" every day when u ask him how he is, u would feel sick over this standard reply too over time. I guess the trick is to try to talk about different things each time, becoming too routine doesnt really give the spark that a relationship needs from time to time.
So now, I try to send cards OCCASIONALLY to my gf, not all the time, otherwise it would become routine and less meaningful by the day. Coming out for supper SOMETIMES is good enough, I mean, try to do different things together, and not always do the same things.
If ur bf doesnt take the initiative, then u have to do it. Remember, it takes 2 hands to clap.
Just my 2 cents worth. -
Ok. Thank you. Will heed your advice.Originally posted by loudmonkey:Mebbe my gf thinks like u. So let me try to help u from a guy's prespective.
U wish to know how he is. Ok fair enough, but u want to know it every night? To a guy, this can become boring because it becomes routine. I would lose interest as well to call my gf every night. If a guy has something he feels he wants to tell u, he will call u automatically. I would. It is not so much that u stop him from meeting his friends or what, but the fact that u want to know everything about him that is driving him nuts. I mean yes, you should try to know as much about him as possible. But it is not every day that there are new topics to talk about, and when there is no topic to talk about, you and him will feel strange when u attempt to chat together, right? Even the sending of SMS or chatting by phone every day can be routine, and turn less meaningful with each day, so try to do more variety of things with less frequency for each, i think that will help booster things up.
I am also sure, if your bf replies u with a "today i am fine" every day when u ask him how he is, u would feel sick over this standard reply too over time. I guess the trick is to try to talk about different things each time, becoming too routine doesnt really give the spark that a relationship needs from time to time.
So now, I try to send cards OCCASIONALLY to my gf, not all the time, otherwise it would become routine and less meaningful by the day. Coming out for supper SOMETIMES is good enough, I mean, try to do different things together, and not always do the same things.
If ur bf doesnt take the initiative, then u have to do it. Remember, it takes 2 hands to clap.
Just my 2 cents worth.
Thanks...