Felt like a fool......
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Those who had read my previous thread, u will have a rough idea whats going on....
I've posted qns about my bf signing on....
Problems arises....
On 5th June, he had already signed the bond. But he told me he had only went for 2nd interview. And they postponed his enlistment date to the 23th june for him to reconsider.
On 10th June, he receive a letter from Air force stating that he has accepted the bond. I asked him... but he told me he dunno whats going on. I thought the Air Force has made a mistake. So i asked him to check with Air Force the next day.
The next day, he said he forgot to call... During these days, he said he's confused, dunno whether to sign a not, might not be signing... I still told him to think properly... Helped him do research, asking qns here (if u guys have noticed)
11th June, i gave him a little money when i know he ran out of it and i'm going on a flt on 12th June. Then later in the night, he told me actually he had already signed the bond on 5th june.
I was shocked. Then i asked him y he didn't want to tell me earlier. He said he didn't want me to be with him because i know that he had already signed on. In another words, be with him for money. I asked him Through this 1 and a half years, u didn't know if i'm with u for money? He said ppl will change.... what he meant was he wanted to see whats my reaction if he didn't sign on. Will i still be with him, will i still treat him the same...
So i asked him, y he want to tell me now... he said coz i still help him out in finance despite he told me he might not be signing on. He felt that i'm genuine... so he revealed that he had signed on.
i felt like a fool....
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Your bf, do something like this, abit too much.
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please lor, sign on means alot of money ah?
i think he's the real fool, signing on without knowing what's in it for him...
judging by the way he thinks... good luck to him. -
and the dumbest thing is, he thinks that signing on warrants him to think that he has MONEY... geez...Originally posted by ditzy:Your bf, do something like this, abit too much.
i've seen regulars who are poor, and will always be poor.
And personally, the way her bf handles bills and money, i don't think he will be any more richer either... that's my POV from the posts she has made
but seriously that guy has a dumb way of thinking... if he's even thinking in the first place -
I'm just hurt, confused, mixed emotions...
After helping him with finance for so long, he still have thoughts like that...
And when i read the letter from the air force, he still can carry on with his lie.... act innocent..... i suddenly felt ..this guy is so scary....
I trusted him too much... when i read the letter from air force, i should have known... although i have that thought that he had already accepted, i still choose to believe him....
when i asked him when will he decide to tell me.. he still say he don't know......
aM i too dumb? -
Your bf lied to you to "test" you? So if he does something else behind your back, and lets you find out. Will he admit its another "test" of his? Gimme a break.
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You're not dumb, he's stupid. Some men can be real b@st@rds. You just had a close brush with one.
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I was thinking have he gotten away for lying to me.... which i never know....Originally posted by ditzy:Your bf lied to you to "test" you? So if he does something else behind your back, and lets you find out. Will he admit its another "test" of his? Gimme a break. -
x2... from all her post about her bf.... i can only suggest that she leave his guy soon.... it's really an insult for him to think she maybe want him for his money only.......Originally posted by kopiosatu:and the dumbest thing is, he thinks that signing on warrants him to think that he has MONEY... geez...
i've seen regulars who are poor, and will always be poor.
And personally, the way her bf handles bills and money, i don't think he will be any more richer either... that's my POV from the posts she has made
but seriously that guy has a dumb way of thinking... if he's even thinking in the first place
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what can i do.....
break up over this seems a bit over.... i meant it's not serious till breaking up......
But damage had been inflicted on this relationship, on me....
trusting him again will be hard....
Should i give him another chance? -
No one here has the real say in this other than you. What are you willing to commit? What do you wish to obtain from this current relationship? What do you hope for in the near and long term future?Originally posted by shirurinu:what can i do.....
break up over this seems a bit over.... i meant it's not serious till breaking up......
But damage had been inflicted on this relationship, on me....
trusting him again will be hard....
Should i give him another chance?
Ultimately, the decision is yours. -
it not about this matter..... u really have to reconsider in long term if he is good enough for u.. or if he is suitable from u..Originally posted by shirurinu:what can i do.....
break up over this seems a bit over.... i meant it's not serious till breaking up......
But damage had been inflicted on this relationship, on me....
trusting him again will be hard....
Should i give him another chance?
as i dun know both of u....my view is based on what u posted..so from what read....if mi a gal.. i wont even be bother about this kind of guy at all.... i can bet with u 120% that u can find a better guy anytime.... -
its not such a big issue that you have to break up with him.
but something has to be taken note, and that is the way his mind thinks (or like i said, maybe he doesn't think at all).
the least you could do is to be a little bit more wary...
i think its still kinda childish to 'test' people, what's more you're already in a relationship... has he said anything about returning you the money you lent him? or his he still gloating in his new found 'wealth' that i personally think will disappear anyway. -
you know what you should start thinking about?
LONG TERM, that's the keyword in this topic. -
Thanks for all ur help..... i think i really need to give serious thoughts about him.... about us....Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):it not about this matter..... u really have to reconsider in long term if he is good enough for u.. or if he is suitable from u..
as i dun know both of u....my view is based on what u posted..so from what read....if mi a gal.. i wont even be bother about this kind of guy at all.... i can bet with u 120% that u can find a better guy anytime.... -
We never talked about the money i lent him.... i didn't bring it up...Originally posted by kopiosatu:its not such a big issue that you have to break up with him.
but something has to be taken note, and that is the way his mind thinks (or like i said, maybe he doesn't think at all).
the least you could do is to be a little bit more wary...
i think its still kinda childish to 'test' people, what's more you're already in a relationship... has he said anything about returning you the money you lent him? or his he still gloating in his new found 'wealth' that i personally think will disappear anyway. -
hmmm oh well... no comments...Originally posted by shirurinu:We never talked about the money i lent him.... i didn't bring it up...
but its your decision
now its your turn to think about your future, instead of u thinking for him -
Well, its not a reason to be really sad about, people have flaws, consider this an experience to know him better.Originally posted by shirurinu:Those who had read my previous thread, u will have a rough idea whats going on....
I've posted qns about my bf signing on....
Problems arises....
On 5th June, he had already signed the bond. But he told me he had only went for 2nd interview. And they postponed his enlistment date to the 23th june for him to reconsider.
On 10th June, he receive a letter from Air force stating that he has accepted the bond. I asked him... but he told me he dunno whats going on. I thought the Air Force has made a mistake. So i asked him to check with Air Force the next day.
The next day, he said he forgot to call... During these days, he said he's confused, dunno whether to sign a not, might not be signing... I still told him to think properly... Helped him do research, asking qns here (if u guys have noticed)
11th June, i gave him a little money when i know he ran out of it and i'm going on a flt on 12th June. Then later in the night, he told me actually he had already signed the bond on 5th june.
I was shocked. Then i asked him y he didn't want to tell me earlier. He said he didn't want me to be with him because i know that he had already signed on. In another words, be with him for money. I asked him Through this 1 and a half years, u didn't know if i'm with u for money? He said ppl will change.... what he meant was he wanted to see whats my reaction if he didn't sign on. Will i still be with him, will i still treat him the same...
So i asked him, y he want to tell me now... he said coz i still help him out in finance despite he told me he might not be signing on. He felt that i'm genuine... so he revealed that he had signed on.
i felt like a fool.... We can't say his actions were foolish/childish/wadever, because we aren't perfect either. At least he is honest with you after the incident right? And it also proves, in his own way, he is serious about you.
There are worst people out there, don't always keep hoping for the better. If you are not happy with him on this aspect, you can confront him to change or improve. -
ok, he is wrong to have "tested" u in this way... this means that he does not trust u all the while.... while u trusted him all the way.. he broke the trust...
but giving or not giving him a chance is up to u... but do not do things on impulse... shd think whether will u regret... -
Sign on doesn'y mean rich... Their starting pay may be v attractive in the short run but if u look far, the salary increment is so little n slow. hence in the long run, signing on will not make u rich. It only provide u enuf money to survive n earn a simple living. No posh car, no luxury house etc.
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testing ur partner is definitely not a gd idea....
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he is the fool not you.
Its his life, if he dun be serious and think abt wat he wants to do in the future, that's his problem. -
i will not give him another chance... what kinda of MAN will he become? or will he ever get to be a MAN, or remain like a boy who do not know how to make choices.Originally posted by shirurinu:what can i do.....
break up over this seems a bit over.... i meant it's not serious till breaking up......
But damage had been inflicted on this relationship, on me....
trusting him again will be hard....
Should i give him another chance? -
Originally posted by ditzy:No one here has the real say in this other than you. What are you willing to commit? What do you wish to obtain from this current relationship? What do you hope for in the near and long term future?
Ultimately, the decision is yours.
Why are you allowing others to view their opinions about your situation? Do you not know that it'll affect your judgement to your relationship?Originally posted by shirurinu:what can i do.....
break up over this seems a bit over.... i meant it's not serious till breaking up......
But damage had been inflicted on this relationship, on me....
trusting him again will be hard....
Should i give him another chance?
What ditzy posted made alot of sense.
Think about it and make your own decisions. -
Can tell u that he will be a even bigger fool when he is in the air force. Pls tell him that there are big shot + old bird regulars who are out to make a sucker out of him also.........make him mad until he buay tahan & forced to break bond. And when that time comes he will pay the graduity like xiao....for example he will pay the amount left for him + 20% interest.....& see where he will beg for the money & where to hide & cry.....
I hope that wif your love & sincerity would move him to think back & make the best out of him for the current situation he is in. And remember to make him greatful for u as u r doing a part to help him.
Sometimes have to understand that human are vulnarable to blind situation & think that the field of signing on is greener on the other side. But they would still finally open up up when they are in the force & going thru wat other old bird servicemen are going thru.
I can see that your bf is a young & lost in the woods type...all i can do is pray for both of your happiness & that he is sorry for "testing" you.