Felt like a fool......
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Originally posted by larrenV2.003:
Agree wif u...e bf tot he got a job that pays a million dollars...very childish....If the job was that good why are there ppl resigning and complaining all this while abt e Air Force...
Can tell u that he will be a even bigger fool when he is in the air force. Pls tell him that there are big shot + old bird regulars who are out to make a sucker out of him also.........make him mad until he buay tahan & forced to break bond. And when that time comes he will pay the graduity like xiao....for example he will pay the amount left for him + 20% interest.....& see where he will beg for the money & where to hide & cry.....
I hope that wif your love & sincerity would move him to think back & make the best out of him for the current situation he is in. And remember to make him greatful for u as u r doing a part to help him.
Sometimes have to understand that human are vulnarable to blind situation & think that the field of signing on is greener on the other side. But they would still finally open up up when they are in the force & going thru wat other old bird servicemen are going thru.
I can see that your bf is a young & lost in the woods type...all i can do is pray for both of your happiness & that he is sorry for [b]"testing" you.[/b] -
And that includes in the navy where i'm working wif the regulars who are turning down the PP2 scheme..........Originally posted by Troy437:Agree wif u...e bf tot he got a job that pays a million dollars...very childish....If the job was that good why are there ppl resigning and complaining all this while abt e Air Force...
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Wah! Two of my neighbour aso just quit fr Navy liao...I see them happier now...Originally posted by larrenV2.003:And that includes in the navy where i'm working wif the regulars who are turning down the PP2 scheme.......... -
Haha... My cousin also quit liao. He say he really regret, feel like crying. Dun fall into the trap set by the govt. Most ppl who wanna sign on r hypnotize by the money.... Actually the money also not v much if u look at the bigger picture.Originally posted by Troy437:Wah! Two of my neighbour aso just quit fr Navy liao...I see them happier now... -
Freedom also halfed........Originally posted by Ogbunwezeh:Haha... My cousin also quit liao. He say he really regret, feel like crying. Dun fall into the trap set by the govt. Most ppl who wanna sign on r hypnotize by the money.... Actually the money also not v much if u look at the bigger picture. -
Well...based on what you posted, your bf at fault for hiding from you about his signing on with the Air Force.Originally posted by shirurinu:Those who had read my previous thread, u will have a rough idea whats going on....
I've posted qns about my bf signing on....
Problems arises....
On 5th June, he had already signed the bond. But he told me he had only went for 2nd interview. And they postponed his enlistment date to the 23th june for him to reconsider.
On 10th June, he receive a letter from Air force stating that he has accepted the bond. I asked him... but he told me he dunno whats going on. I thought the Air Force has made a mistake. So i asked him to check with Air Force the next day.
The next day, he said he forgot to call... During these days, he said he's confused, dunno whether to sign a not, might not be signing... I still told him to think properly... Helped him do research, asking qns here (if u guys have noticed)
11th June, i gave him a little money when i know he ran out of it and i'm going on a flt on 12th June. Then later in the night, he told me actually he had already signed the bond on 5th june.
I was shocked. Then i asked him y he didn't want to tell me earlier. He said he didn't want me to be with him because i know that he had already signed on. In another words, be with him for money. I asked him Through this 1 and a half years, u didn't know if i'm with u for money? He said ppl will change.... what he meant was he wanted to see whats my reaction if he didn't sign on. Will i still be with him, will i still treat him the same...
So i asked him, y he want to tell me now... he said coz i still help him out in finance despite he told me he might not be signing on. He felt that i'm genuine... so he revealed that he had signed on.
i felt like a fool....
But one thing though...he is correct about the fact that people will change for the sake of money. Money means security for the future and I don't need to tell you that, shirurinu. The fact that he behaved like this gave me a big question mark about your relationship with him. Have you ever wondered by yourself what led him to think like this of you?
The most stupid thing that you bf did...or should I say all guys will do it eventually, is to confess his lie to you. Just trying to minimise any further casualties about guys in a relationship. You either lie to her or you don't...pick one, guys. Girls are not as forgiving as we often imagined them to be. Take note of this, guys.
Being together with your bf for 1 and a half years doesn't really means anything at all...unless both of you lived together during that period of time. Even if you meet up with each other everyday, when both of you left each other and went home...nobody actually knows what goes on in both of your minds. Both of you can go out everyday...have fun...fark around...but at the end of the day, both of you may be scolding each other in your mind. Don't tell me you got no complains about him during the period when you are together with him? Just that you kept those thoughts to yourself...that's all, right? It is the same thing for him as well, sure he will also have some complains about you that he didn't tell you about it or you didn't know. Add up all these little thoughts and complains, and you will get a big misunderstanding of each other in both of your minds.
shirurinu...no need to feel so bad like a fool lah. Everybody has their own little dirty secret that they don't want people to dig. So I'm sure that you also have your own secret that you also do not want your bf to know. In fact, he is willing to confess his lie to you proves that you meant a lot to him. If he is really as heartless as other people mentioned, he would not have own up to you about his lie. Worse still, he could look for another girl to be his gf and hide it from you for monkey years before finally deciding to own up and break it off clean with you. But he didn't do that, isn't it?
Forgive him if you still want to be with him. And make sure that he knows you are very pissed off with him. Torture his mind with your cold shoulder or whatever stunts you have up your sleeves for all I care...cos I'm sure you still mean a lot to him, especially if he is going for NS soon.
Whatever it is...good luck, it is difficult to get into a relationship...even more difficult to maintain one. -
ok the last few comments are quite unfair to those who signed on and are happy with their jobs...
unlike what most of most you think, people want the pp2 in the RSAF, those who want to really want to leave are few. -
what freedom are you looking for?Originally posted by larrenV2.003:Freedom also halfed........ -
There you go....
ZGMF-X09A Freedom. -
Not trying to put regular life as a big no no, but there is a certain level of commitment one must be willing to place to make it worthwhile and fruitful. The same applies for other roles, not just for SAF, navy...etc regulars.
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Thanks parn.... Yes we have been living together since april last year. We are together almost everyday unless i have flights... which means only around half a month i'm in SIngaporeOriginally posted by parn:Well...based on what you posted, your bf at fault for hiding from you about his signing on with the Air Force.
But one thing though...he is correct about the fact that people will change for the sake of money. Money means security for the future and I don't need to tell you that, shirurinu. The fact that he behaved like this gave me a big question mark about your relationship with him. Have you ever wondered by yourself what led him to think like this of you?
The most stupid thing that you bf did...or should I say all guys will do it eventually, is to confess his lie to you. Just trying to minimise any further casualties about guys in a relationship. You either lie to her or you don't...pick one, guys. Girls are not as forgiving as we often imagined them to be. Take note of this, guys.
Being together with your bf for 1 and a half years doesn't really means anything at all...unless both of you lived together during that period of time. Even if you meet up with each other everyday, when both of you left each other and went home...nobody actually knows what goes on in both of your minds. Both of you can go out everyday...have fun...fark around...but at the end of the day, both of you may be scolding each other in your mind. Don't tell me you got no complains about him during the period when you are together with him? Just that you kept those thoughts to yourself...that's all, right? It is the same thing for him as well, sure he will also have some complains about you that he didn't tell you about it or you didn't know. Add up all these little thoughts and complains, and you will get a big misunderstanding of each other in both of your minds.
shirurinu...no need to feel so bad like a fool lah. Everybody has their own little dirty secret that they don't want people to dig. So I'm sure that you also have your own secret that you also do not want your bf to know. In fact, he is willing to confess his lie to you proves that you meant a lot to him. If he is really as heartless as other people mentioned, he would not have own up to you about his lie. Worse still, he could look for another girl to be his gf and hide it from you for monkey years before finally deciding to own up and break it off clean with you. But he didn't do that, isn't it?
Forgive him if you still want to be with him. And make sure that he knows you are very pissed off with him. Torture his mind with your cold shoulder or whatever stunts you have up your sleeves for all I care...cos I'm sure you still mean a lot to him, especially if he is going for NS soon.
Whatever it is...good luck, it is difficult to get into a relationship...even more difficult to maintain one.
I've talked to him about i feel....He said that he signed on is because he dun want me to carry a burden for another 3 yrs, so he signed on wanting to make my life better, furthermore he could save up for something else.
He told me he is going to be bound for 7 yrs. It's a long time and a BIG decisison. Although he had decided to sign for me, he still needed assurance. So he lied.... he said although it might not be the best method, he got the assurance he needs........
I accepted his apologies and made him promise never pull such stunts to me again..... my heart's weak and could not take something like that anymore....
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Good lor, den time to move on le. I read other ppl's posts some like close to flaming le, scary.
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erm juz my POV...
for me...if i have a gf la...and she very materialistic.like go for brands etc.i might oso do the same as your bf...
reason?i not very well off,and i cant afford to "support" her.so ya i most prolly will test her.well if u look at it your way...yes it is hurtful etc.but if u look at his way,n forgive him,u can b sure tat your r/s will b stronger.bcos he trust u more,1 1/2yr r/s...me no tat long so i donno if i will still test my "gf" if we r tat long.
howeva if the gal i like is very independent like willing to go dutch,or take turns paying, den no reason to test lor.but for my last r/s me was supporting my gf.after she break me,i went to court a gal.this gal willing to dutch with me,altho sometimes i pay other times she pay.but if me n this gal were to b together i will not test her.y?from her actions can tell le ma. -
His personality & character sucks!! mans ... eat soft rice ... even a normal friend will return the money that someone/friend lent it to...
Been a relation doesn't mean he can treat his partner money as his own...... Moreover, when he thinks that he now make "big Money" , he even afraid to share it to you or 'afraid that he has to repay his debt'...... From his behaviour, soon or later his friends is going to shove him one..... -
Originally posted by shirurinu:Those who had read my previous thread, u will have a rough idea whats going on....
I've posted qns about my bf signing on....
Problems arises....
On 5th June, he had already signed the bond. But he told me he had only went for 2nd interview. And they postponed his enlistment date to the 23th june for him to reconsider.
On 10th June, he receive a letter from Air force stating that he has accepted the bond. I asked him... but he told me he dunno whats going on. I thought the Air Force has made a mistake. So i asked him to check with Air Force the next day.
The next day, he said he forgot to call... During these days, he said he's confused, dunno whether to sign a not, might not be signing... I still told him to think properly... Helped him do research, asking qns here (if u guys have noticed)
11th June, i gave him a little money when i know he ran out of it and i'm going on a flt on 12th June. Then later in the night, he told me actually he had already signed the bond on 5th june.
I was shocked. Then i asked him y he didn't want to tell me earlier. He said he didn't want me to be with him because i know that he had already signed on. In another words, be with him for money. I asked him Through this 1 and a half years, u didn't know if i'm with u for money? He said ppl will change.... what he meant was he wanted to see whats my reaction if he didn't sign on. Will i still be with him, will i still treat him the same...
So i asked him, y he want to tell me now... he said coz i still help him out in finance despite he told me he might not be signing on. He felt that i'm genuine... so he revealed that he had signed on.
i felt like a fool.... 
Like what your senses has told you; its unneccessary to suggest a break up due to this. However, you have truly gain new insights about your boyfriend that you didn't knew and I am going to explain it here:
His actions revealed unconsciously about his deep inferiority when he is placed with you. The man, the one who is suppose to provide, is unable to fulfilled this 'society' standard - the ego is affected badly.
Noticed he only pick the road to sign or not to sign, served as a short-term method to ease his financial difficulty. With such mentality, it will be terrible for him because he is NOT signing a job - its a career. Considering monetary benefit to sign on will only make his life misery if that is not the kind of life he wants.
I have so many friends who wanted to sign on because of the stable cash and the actual untold reason that I see through is because they are so used to having a fixed route in life they don't even fringing` know what they want in life. I would have encourage if their lifestyle, mindset and personality (or they loved and took engineering) really fits and suits the army. But seriously, by the look of it, I doubt it. (Some the whole life gaming kind... if you can picture). I am afraid this could also be affecting your boyfriend currently: the question about what they want to do with their life, which ultimately affected his behavior towards the relationship: dunno-what-he-is-doing-and-saying.
Let it be this time round, but please note that your bf currently has a bruised ego. He, now, measure love through finance and trust me: pessimism, reduced self esteem and poor preception of love will surface for the next year in your relationship. To ride through, learn to equip yourself with high dose of understanding and tolerence.
Cheers -
Yes. Thanks for mentioning. Brings up one of my main concerns. If the amount of money ain't much to his advantage, it could be much more of his concern as to how he should be saving it up for his own better use? (depending on what type of character he holds?)Originally posted by kopiosatu:its not such a big issue that you have to break up with him.
but something has to be taken note, and that is the way his mind thinks (or like i said, maybe he doesn't think at all).
the least you could do is to be a little bit more wary...
i think its still kinda childish to 'test' people, what's more you're already in a relationship... has he said anything about returning you the money you lent him? or his he still gloating in his new found 'wealth' that i personally think will disappear anyway.
Of course, we shouldn't be too quick on judgement? Let's go it your way... Loosen up your suspicions a little and have benefit of doubt on him.... Afterall, it could be a genuine misunderstanding...
If he sincerely holds your concern... He probably should....
1. Return you the money in time.
2. Mentions about the above and try to do something about it in time.
3. After a period of time, at least holds a certain amount of money for both your future.
All the above points can be revealed in time probably.. Actions or whatever interpretations are up to you to make....
Regards. -
Good luck and all the best...Originally posted by shirurinu:Thanks parn.... Yes we have been living together since april last year. We are together almost everyday unless i have flights... which means only around half a month i'm in SIngapore
I've talked to him about i feel....He said that he signed on is because he dun want me to carry a burden for another 3 yrs, so he signed on wanting to make my life better, furthermore he could save up for something else.
He told me he is going to be bound for 7 yrs. It's a long time and a BIG decisison. Although he had decided to sign for me, he still needed assurance. So he lied.... he said although it might not be the best method, he got the assurance he needs........
I accepted his apologies and made him promise never pull such stunts to me again..... my heart's weak and could not take something like that anymore.... -
x2Originally posted by ditzy:Your bf lied to you to "test" you? So if he does something else behind your back, and lets you find out. Will he admit its another "test" of his? Gimme a break. -
x2Originally posted by ditzy:Your bf lied to you to "test" you? So if he does something else behind your back, and lets you find out. Will he admit its another "test" of his? Gimme a break. -
No problem...look forward to his proposal of marriage and have a great wedding!!!Originally posted by shirurinu:Thanks parn.... Yes we have been living together since april last year. We are together almost everyday unless i have flights... which means only around half a month i'm in SIngapore
I've talked to him about i feel....He said that he signed on is because he dun want me to carry a burden for another 3 yrs, so he signed on wanting to make my life better, furthermore he could save up for something else.
He told me he is going to be bound for 7 yrs. It's a long time and a BIG decisison. Although he had decided to sign for me, he still needed assurance. So he lied.... he said although it might not be the best method, he got the assurance he needs........
I accepted his apologies and made him promise never pull such stunts to me again..... my heart's weak and could not take something like that anymore.... 
Just don't forget to announce the great news to us hor.......