I need advise
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Well, I'm coming 22 this year, a simple girl who wants somebody to settle down with.
Apparently I have came to know my boyfriend on 27 Feb and get together on 29 Feb this year... I know that we are too fast but apparently its all by nature you see...
I came to know that he is on seperation now and he is in big debts... What should I do? -
Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:
That's a funny question? What do you wish to do?
Well, I'm coming 22 this year, a simple girl who wants somebody to settle down with.
Apparently I have came to know my boyfriend on 27 Feb and get together on 29 Feb this year... I know that we are too fast but apparently its all by nature you see...
I came to know that he is on seperation now and he is in big debts... What should I do? www.livejournal.com/users/harleyrau/[/b]
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u should haf been more careful..
ur pics are lying ard for the public eye.. -
Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:
Separation?? he's married.. not divorced yet..
Well, I'm coming 22 this year, a simple girl who wants somebody to settle down with.
Apparently I have came to know my boyfriend on 27 Feb and get together on 29 Feb this year... I know that we are too fast but apparently its all by nature you see...
I came to know that he is on seperation now and he is in big debts... What should I do? www.livejournal.com/users/harleyrau/[/b]
a short period of time to knw and get together is a risk taking.. you have not even fully understand him..
jus becos.. you wanna settle down.. and he's on separation.. both need someone to be there.. so happen you both come together as couple..
you may be simple.. but marriage is a kind of commitment.. is not kids playing toys.. and you're still young.. you got lots of time choosing one that really suits you.. and not anyhow pick one.. jus be cos you wanna settle down..
One reason of divorce rate goin up.. Ppl take marriage too easy.. get along come together.. dun get along divorce.. simple..
Pls reconsider your this relationship seriously..... from there you see how you wanna go... -
Before you two can get married, he must file his divorce papers.
First of all you need to know the situation behind the separation if the person you loved is still considering getting back to his wife. That would be unfair on your side.
Do not get sexually involved with him as it might actually cause more unnecessary problems for him, especially when serving the papers.
You must always understand that a male divorcee stands on losing grounds in a divorce paper as his wife will benefit on certain issues and you must be willing to accept these outcomes should his current wife continue to be a divorcee (never remarried).
You must be prepared mentally to accept the peer pressure, especially from family members if you're getting together with a man who divorced his wife. You must be able to withstand the rumours and all the aftermath especially since you are together with him since the separation.
There are other considerations which I will probably add on later.
The decision is yours, follow not the voices, but your heart. -
About debts.
Is he bankrupt or still clearing his debts?
What debts are he owing?
These are the things you might clarify so that we can offer our advice and opinions. -
Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:
Well, I'm coming 22 this year, a simple girl who wants somebody to settle down with.
Apparently I have came to know my boyfriend on 27 Feb and get together on 29 Feb this year... I know that we are too fast but apparently its all by nature you see...
I came to know that he is on seperation now and he is in big debts... What should I do? www.livejournal.com/users/harleyrau/[/b]
You are playing with a gas-leaking bunsen burner.
You are a simple girl, but the man you are getting is no simple man.
Too hasty in entering relationship; passion will cease much faster. Nothing wrong with a separated man - but a combination of outrage deception and financial instability will cripple relationship to certain death.
Since you know the truth, before you make any decision: lay your cards on the table and make your man talk - about the full story. Do not take whatever he says, listen carefully and update here.
Cheers -
Heed the advice well and you'll be on the safer side.Originally posted by Yunhaier: You are playing with a gas-leaking bunsen burner.
You are a simple girl, but the man you are getting is no simple man.
Too hasty in entering relationship; passion will cease much faster. Nothing wrong with a separated man - but a combination of outrage deception and financial instability will cripple relationship to certain death.
Since you know the truth, before you make any decision: lay your cards on the table and make your man talk - about the full story. Do not take whatever he says, listen carefully and update here.
Cheers -
My advise- drop him cos you are still young & he is so problematic
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Bravo! Well said! And you must make sure he clear his debts before marrying him, one golden rule. Marriage ain't child's play, its for life. And find out why the hell he wanna spilt from his wife in the first place.Originally posted by Nelstar:Before you two can get married, he must file his divorce papers.
First of all you need to know the situation behind the separation if the person you loved is still considering getting back to his wife. That would be unfair on your side.
Do not get sexually involved with him as it might actually cause more unnecessary problems for him, especially when serving the papers.
You must always understand that a male divorcee stands on losing grounds in a divorce paper as his wife will benefit on certain issues and you must be willing to accept these outcomes should his current wife continue to be a divorcee (never remarried).
You must be prepared mentally to accept the peer pressure, especially from family members if you're getting together with a man who divorced his wife. You must be able to withstand the rumours and all the aftermath especially since you are together with him since the separation.
There are other considerations which I will probably add on later.
The decision is yours, follow not the voices, but your heart. -
wah, i coming to 23 dis yr and i have totally no intention to settle down until i finish my studies. heh. if he is in big debts, it wouldn't be wise to settle down with him at the moment as you all will face bigger financial problems unless u are so rich as to be able to pay off his debts and stuff like that. it takes more than pure love to settle down, u need to plan ahead...Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:Well, I'm coming 22 this year, a simple girl who wants somebody to settle down with.
Apparently I have came to know my boyfriend on 27 Feb and get together on 29 Feb this year... I know that we are too fast but apparently its all by nature you see...
I came to know that he is on seperation now and he is in big debts... What should I do? -
seems to me like you are entering a danger zone.
the man is finding a shelter to share the burden with him
but your life will indeed be harder, to be living with debts is a very very hard thing. not only you want to get on with life, you have to pay off debts. It is very frustrating when times go by..... -
x2Originally posted by gerrykoh:My advise- drop him cos you are still young & he is so problematic
men scared enter wrong career
women scared marry wrong guy... -
He is going to sign the dirvorce papers by Aug 2005 which falls on my birthday month! I have ask around and observed him and the people whom we mingled with... Things are just getting out of hand when he is unsure about law issues.. That's why his ex wife had swollow him big time now...
Therefore now I'm feeding him with alot of informations and guide him thru with Lawyers' advise...
I was thinking that we got long way to go, therefore I'm rushing into things... We are not getting into any marriage topic thou he did tell me his plans. However I'm not looking into this topic at all.
New issues araising:
My Dad detest him, HOW? But he don't know bout his unhealthy background...
Well, If I would to follow my heart, I will have to overcome all the things with him. -
Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:
Well, I'm coming 22 this year, a simple girl who wants somebody to settle down with.
Apparently I have came to[b] know my boyfriend on 27 Feb and get together on 29 Feb this year... I know that we are too fast but apparently its all by nature you see...
I came to know that he is on seperation now and he is in big debts... What should I do? [/b]
luv at 1st sight?
usually sumdin dat feels very, very rite, always can hurt u very very bad.....
ppl always marry bcos of 'Lurrrrrve'......but dey nev seperate w/o a reason.....
do u know wat drove his wife away?
PS: u probably shudn't b listenin 2 jus his side of d story too -
I wished I could listen to his ex wife story too however I can't. For what I have know from the guys that his wife is very materistic and not understanding.. Therefore, he tried to resolve the problems but his ex wife still commit the same old mistake few days after the talking...
He had told me that he didn't wished to see me in this state too as he know that its very unfair for me to undergo such situation. Neither he wants to.. He is sad to see me suffer and can't be happy when I stand with him thru these shit cos He doesn't wants me to go thru all these doh... -
when a man learns 2 luv.....he oso learns to wait...Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:I wished I could listen to his ex wife story too however I can't. For what I have know from the guys that his wife is very materistic and not understanding.. Therefore, he tried to resolve the problems but his ex wife still commit the same old mistake few days after the talking...
He had told me that he didn't wished to see me in this state too as he know that its very unfair for me to undergo such situation. Neither he wants to.. He is sad to see me suffer and can't be happy when I stand with him thru these shit cos He doesn't wants me to go thru all these doh...
u'r 22.....giv it some time......if u rily mean s much 2 him, like him 2 u, his heart wil find his way back.....
if u decide 2 marry him now, u'r not letin him make a fair choice......
u'r makin d statement :" i cherish u...d day u divorce her, i wil b at d altar waitin..."
i admire ur courage 2 folo ur heart & i wish 4 blessins upon u.....
dats y i'd hate 4 u 2 make a wrong choice & end up sumwhere u dun belong..... -
Seriously, take my advice. Don't marry him yet cos he has so many problems & your dad don't like him. Better to remain single & be carefree than stuck to a mistake!
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You know you should seriously consider about getting invloved with someone who has a serious debt problem outside
might cause u much distress, mayb u should end it soon or at least see how things go with his debts.
Wait he make u pay for his debts :X -
Personally.. I think ALL THIS would be too much for you to bear. What kinda of thick and thin have you gone through with him?Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:I wished I could listen to his ex wife story too however I can't. For what I have know from the guys that his wife is very materistic and not understanding.. Therefore, he tried to resolve the problems but his ex wife still commit the same old mistake few days after the talking...
He had told me that he didn't wished to see me in this state too as he know that its very unfair for me to undergo such situation. Neither he wants to.. He is sad to see me suffer and can't be happy when I stand with him thru these shit cos He doesn't wants me to go thru all these doh...
The journey's gonna be tough and long... Don't let yourself be covered in the mist... You'll probably lost your way... -
He just sent me a mail:
Halo XXXX
sometimes I don't express much about how much I love and appreciate you.
That's beacause I take this opportunity to observe and see things in a
perspective view so that I can see clearly. No doubt initially I didn't
understand you very well, but during these past few months I have learnt
more about you, your personality, your likes and dislikes.
I'm very happy and feel very lucky to have you by my side. You have given
me hope for a better tomorrow and insight to alot of life and personal
issues. Just like the KL downpour on the way home to Singapore, there was
thunder and lightning it was raining like crazy but when we reach
Singapore, it was all dry. My past was like the lightning storm and with
you it became clear and sunny again.
I will not lose a grip on you hunni cos I will always be your SALONPAS. The
road might be long and our butts might hurt a little but we will soon reach
our destination in life.
Lup u so much,
XXXXX -
it takes 3 yrs to divorcee and another half of hearing on kids. if they got any.Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:Well, I'm coming 22 this year, a simple girl who wants somebody to settle down with.
Apparently I have came to know my boyfriend on 27 Feb and get together on 29 Feb this year... I know that we are too fast but apparently its all by nature you see...
I came to know that he is on seperation now and he is in big debts... What should I do?
dun waste time.
normally after getting out of a marriage, one would not wanna go into another immediately. -
Give him love, not $$. If he really cares, he will take care of his problem himself and not get you involved. If he gets you involved in his problems, then he probably does not care. If he say you do not care for him because you did not help, then I would seriously doubt if he really loves you.
Don't be blinded by the appearance. Don't imagine what he is not. Be trueful about who he really is. Talk to people who knows him. You can get a lot of information from them. -
I might be too critical..but I think this is just pure sweet-talk...nothing else.Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:He just sent me a mail:
Halo XXXX
sometimes I don't express much about how much I love and appreciate you.
That's beacause I take this opportunity to observe and see things in a
perspective view so that I can see clearly. No doubt initially I didn't
understand you very well, but during these past few months I have learnt
more about you, your personality, your likes and dislikes.
I'm very happy and feel very lucky to have you by my side. You have given
me hope for a better tomorrow and insight to alot of life and personal
issues. Just like the KL downpour on the way home to Singapore, there was
thunder and lightning it was raining like crazy but when we reach
Singapore, it was all dry. My past was like the lightning storm and with
you it became clear and sunny again.
I will not lose a grip on you hunni cos I will always be your SALONPAS. The
road might be long and our butts might hurt a little but we will soon reach
our destination in life.
Lup u so much,
XXXXX -
gut feeling is to dump him.or at least wait for him to clear his debts and settle the issues with his wife on the legal side.Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:Well, I'm coming 22 this year, a simple girl who wants somebody to settle down with.
Apparently I have came to know my boyfriend on 27 Feb and get together on 29 Feb this year... I know that we are too fast but apparently its all by nature you see...
I came to know that he is on seperation now and he is in big debts... What should I do?