scared of love, relationships
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I'm feeling darn lonely. I'm someone who is hard to get know unless you know me for a long time. The reason why i don't open myself up is maybe due to reason of afraid of getting hurt and hurting people. What do i mean by hurting people? I can't return the love and concern back to people who give it to me. I just can't. It's a long story why i can't. I'm so afraid of intimacy with others which explain why i can feel so lonely. Sometime, i feel that i'm letting my life slip me past and it already has. Shunning the guy who likes me and end up him hating me. i'm just so scared of love and handling relationships.
Even with friends, i don't dare to make new friends and even talking to them. I just so afraid. It's getting worse and worse. I'm facing social starvation in my life now. -
I guess i should say, we are comrades in the same situation.
Fear... is part of our everyday life. Even i can't handle the mundanity and corruption of life itself. Every morning, i wake up and juz wished tt i'll get run over by cars on the way to sch. Every nite, i wished tt i'll juz sleep off into the dream world and never again wake up. Every lectures and labs, i'll sit alone in 1 corner to work on my own, nt wanting to interact with any1 on private affairs. I juz keep to myself, even though it amplifies my pain.
I've done my research. I should say we are undergoing teens depression. Rather than a clinical approach, here's some possible solution.
1. Rally the flock. People of kind gathers together to give each other support, physically and morally.
2. Seek spiritual support. Pretty self-explainatory.
3. List out all the causes of your distress, and tackle them 1 by 1.
4. Get a life. Get a hobby. Personally, i'm into music, drawing, poetry and song-writing to vent out e negative feelings within me.
5. Get committed and love wad ur doing. It helps to use work to numb out your feelings, but e initial step is always e hardest.
Nice to meet u. Send mi a msg if u (or any readers out there) care to make friends. -
I am the male version of uOriginally posted by Jazzytunez:I'm feeling darn lonely. I'm someone who is hard to get know unless you know me for a long time. The reason why i don't open myself up is maybe due to reason of afraid of getting hurt and hurting people. What do i mean by hurting people? I can't return the love and concern back to people who give it to me. I just can't. It's a long story why i can't. I'm so afraid of intimacy with others which explain why i can feel so lonely. Sometime, i feel that i'm letting my life slip me past and it already has. Shunning the guy who likes me and end up him hating me. i'm just so scared of love and handling relationships.
Even with friends, i don't dare to make new friends and even talking to them. I just so afraid. It's getting worse and worse. I'm facing social starvation in my life now.
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Oh btw, ^5! Same!Originally posted by Axelheat755:I am the male version of u -
ever notice our signatures all about negative things... Guts, Loneliness, death..
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Actually, i'm the kind who enjoy group activities but i will still feel alone in a group. Maybe people who don't know me well will find me weird and wondering why am i so quiet? Because of my quietness, i lose friends who i think have the same frequency as me. It's much harder to find friends nowaday who you can bond with. Because of fear, i miss out alot in life.
I don't friends to do the same things as i want to. Like doing this and that, sometime, lack of friends to do with me. Guess my social life really sucks.
Havent anyone watch vanillia sky, by tom cruise. The story has said of a man who has been boardsailing his life through until an accident which change everything. Till he take the leap of faith at the end of the movie. Despite all these, i'm still not losing hope in myself. Blind optimism? I don't know but i know that this is what keep me going on.
abit too serious ah? -
Wah! reali a lot like me!Originally posted by Jazzytunez:Actually, i'm the kind who enjoy group activities but i will still feel alone in a group. Maybe people who don't know me well will find me weird and wondering why am i so quiet? Because of my quietness, i lose friends who i think have the same frequency as me. It's much harder to find friends nowaday who you can bond with. Because of fear, i miss out alot in life.
I don't friends to do the same things as i want to. Like doing this and that, sometime, lack of friends to do with me. Guess my social life really sucks.
Havent anyone watch vanillia sky, by tom cruise. The story has said of a man who has been boardsailing his life through until an accident which change everything. Till he take the leap of faith at the end of the movie. Despite all these, i'm still not losing hope in myself. Blind optimism? I don't know but i know that this is what keep me going on.
abit too serious ah? ppl who know me know im easy going but i find it hard to really bond with ppl. i also always watch movies alone n swim etc. sometimes feel lonely but i try to find things to do to keep myself occupied. luckily i got 2 cute cute guinea pigs for me to torture ( aha! kidding ) they keep me company. send me a pm if u need to talk. i think we r those who express ourselves better in the virtual world. -
well opening up here helps. i mean if u can't do it in person, then perhaps online can help, but u can't stay online all the time.Originally posted by Jazzytunez:I'm feeling darn lonely. I'm someone who is hard to get know unless you know me for a long time. The reason why i don't open myself up is maybe due to reason of afraid of getting hurt and hurting people. What do i mean by hurting people? I can't return the love and concern back to people who give it to me. I just can't. It's a long story why i can't. I'm so afraid of intimacy with others which explain why i can feel so lonely. Sometime, i feel that i'm letting my life slip me past and it already has. Shunning the guy who likes me and end up him hating me. i'm just so scared of love and handling relationships.
Even with friends, i don't dare to make new friends and even talking to them. I just so afraid. It's getting worse and worse. I'm facing social starvation in my life now.
that's why u should come out and make more friends, and the best place is here:
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=84783
no, i'm not trying to put advertisement here, but honestly just chilling out with friends and having fun can help alleviate alot of self-esteem and lonliness problems.
bite the bullet, and soak in the sun, sea and sand!!
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can I like u??Originally posted by Jazzytunez:I'm feeling darn lonely. I'm someone who is hard to get know unless you know me for a long time. The reason why i don't open myself up is maybe due to reason of afraid of getting hurt and hurting people. What do i mean by hurting people? I can't return the love and concern back to people who give it to me. I just can't. It's a long story why i can't. I'm so afraid of intimacy with others which explain why i can feel so lonely. Sometime, i feel that i'm letting my life slip me past and it already has. Shunning the guy who likes me and end up him hating me. i'm just so scared of love and handling relationships.
Even with friends, i don't dare to make new friends and even talking to them. I just so afraid. It's getting worse and worse. I'm facing social starvation in my life now. -
i sign up for everyday activities liaoOriginally posted by jOhO:well opening up here helps. i mean if u can't do it in person, then perhaps online can help, but u can't stay online all the time.
that's why u should come out and make more friends, and the best place is here:
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=84783
no, i'm not trying to put advertisement here, but honestly just chilling out with friends and having fun can help alleviate alot of self-esteem and lonliness problems.
bite the bullet, and soak in the sun, sea and sand!! -
I know what exactly you mean..Im a moody person most of the time.Life escapes me unless I'm with someone..someone who is the closest thing to heaven, yet also the toughest thing since diamonds appeared.Try searching for my poetry, under my nick
Hope they'll bring you deeper and perhaps guide you out.I'm still stuck though 
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me felt so at times too....at the same time i still miss my ex bf.Originally posted by Jazzytunez:I'm feeling darn lonely. I'm someone who is hard to get know unless you know me for a long time. The reason why i don't open myself up is maybe due to reason of afraid of getting hurt and hurting people. What do i mean by hurting people? I can't return the love and concern back to people who give it to me. I just can't. It's a long story why i can't. I'm so afraid of intimacy with others which explain why i can feel so lonely. Sometime, i feel that i'm letting my life slip me past and it already has. Shunning the guy who likes me and end up him hating me. i'm just so scared of love and handling relationships.
Even with friends, i don't dare to make new friends and even talking to them. I just so afraid. It's getting worse and worse. I'm facing social starvation in my life now.
miss him....really -
You can START by JOINING SGFORUMS for OUTINGS...? We might not be the MOST BEAUTIFUL of ALL PEOPLE but at least we're a START?Originally posted by Jazzytunez:I'm feeling darn lonely. I'm someone who is hard to get know unless you know me for a long time. The reason why i don't open myself up is maybe due to reason of afraid of getting hurt and hurting people. What do i mean by hurting people? I can't return the love and concern back to people who give it to me. I just can't. It's a long story why i can't. I'm so afraid of intimacy with others which explain why i can feel so lonely. Sometime, i feel that i'm letting my life slip me past and it already has. Shunning the guy who likes me and end up him hating me. i'm just so scared of love and handling relationships.
Even with friends, i don't dare to make new friends and even talking to them. I just so afraid. It's getting worse and worse. I'm facing social starvation in my life now.
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im still counting the days to go till 7th Aug ...
18 days to go...
anyone wanna go for I,Robot preview ? -
Originally posted by jOhO:well opening up here helps. i mean if u can't do it in person, then perhaps online can help, but u can't stay online all the time.
that's why u should come out and make more friends, and the best place is here:
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=84783
no, i'm not trying to put advertisement here, but honestly just chilling out with friends and having fun can help alleviate alot of self-esteem and lonliness problems.
bite the bullet, and soak in the sun, sea and sand!! -
Seems like an INTERESTING show?? WAITING for ITS RELEASE TOO...?Originally posted by Axelheat755:im still counting the days to go till 7th Aug ...
18 days to go...
anyone wanna go for I,Robot preview ? -
i going tomorrow see. *sigh* too free ppl is like that la
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think im like this in the past too....love to be in the grp but felt left out when im in there....however now im more cheerful person.....always try to see things on the brighter side.....hmmm...mayb cos im now currently out of the grp frens thingy.....only stay with one closest fren...n i think tt's enough....the friendship feeling is more "concentrated"...so more happy now...laugh more too...thus....laughter is the best medicine u noe......juz try to simle n laugh more often....i hope it helps..cos it works for me...heheOriginally posted by Jazzytunez:Actually, i'm the kind who enjoy group activities but i will still feel alone in a group. Maybe people who don't know me well will find me weird and wondering why am i so quiet? Because of my quietness, i lose friends who i think have the same frequency as me. It's much harder to find friends nowaday who you can bond with. Because of fear, i miss out alot in life.
I don't friends to do the same things as i want to. Like doing this and that, sometime, lack of friends to do with me. Guess my social life really sucks.
Havent anyone watch vanillia sky, by tom cruise. The story has said of a man who has been boardsailing his life through until an accident which change everything. Till he take the leap of faith at the end of the movie. Despite all these, i'm still not losing hope in myself. Blind optimism? I don't know but i know that this is what keep me going on.
abit too serious ah?
cheers... -
if you're not willing to give, you will not receive...
give it a go.. and like joho says, come along to the various activities with an open invitation!
mayhap you'll make some friends -
Originally posted by Jazzytunez:I'm feeling darn lonely. I'm someone who is hard to get know unless you know me for a long time. The reason why i don't open myself up is maybe due to reason of afraid of getting hurt and hurting people. What do i mean by hurting people? I can't return the love and concern back to people who give it to me. I just can't. It's a long story why i can't. I'm so afraid of intimacy with others which explain why i can feel so lonely. Sometime, i feel that i'm letting my life slip me past and it already has. Shunning the guy who likes me and end up him hating me. i'm just so scared of love and handling relationships.
Even with friends, i don't dare to make new friends and even talking to them. I just so afraid. It's getting worse and worse. I'm facing social starvation in my life now.
When you are afraid and fearful in love, the immediate natural reaction is to wall up yourself and place sentry at every corner of your emotions. After you walled yourself, you begin to realise that something is not right; then your sentry relax. One fine day, something casually knock against the wall you conjured and all sentry quickly goes back into action and you build a second layer wall to protect further.
In the end, you discover that you have less and less space within your emotional area and you experience a choking effect.
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TO LOVE is natural.
CloUdiSm Remix III state and acknowledge: Love brings up everything unlike itself. In simple, it means that love brings up everything - all the good, bad and ugly into surface. You can't love love's positive aspect because your deemed the seemingly negative traits as unloving. The truth is: its a whole package. You cannot reject some portion of the package because you didn't like it. If you force your way, it become more expensive instead.
When we buy value meals in Burger King, we cannot remove the fries component just because we didn't like it. If we buy the burgers and drinks separately, after careful calculation, in fact, you are paying much more. The smart ones will change the fries to onion rings instead or cheeze fries when buying at KFC... but what if you are in Long John Silver?
Acceptance and to work around relationship is critical.
*** If you desire true companionship, learn to release yourself and open up. You cannot seek for companionship (friends/BGR) unless you decide to get out of your hut and hunt for food. Sure, you can stay in your hut forever, but eventually, is that what you want? Nobody will go into the hut and give you food. If you don't attempt to open that door and walk out, nobody will make you.
Cheers -
Like yr signature Yunhaier,
I am a Spirit that seek wandering souls.
I guess someone will come knocking someday, some1 like u. LOL!
Anyway, I felt tt if u really feel withdrawn, u might wanna take a look around and see if there's any1 who look equally withdrawn. All humans are more or less e same, and then different. U might wanna knock on "door" of those u suspect feeling e same. It's always ez to make friends wif some1 of yr frequency, though it's kinda a bad habit to b so choosy...
Cheer up. Btw, i've added ya for MSN. u didn't accept? -
Yeah, agree with bear.
To love someone means having to risk the pain of rejection and broken heart.
If you are so adverse to risk-taking, you'll forever be waiting on the other side of the road, not having the courage to cross the road. -
Originally posted by egotist:Like yr signature Yunhaier,
I am a Spirit that seek wandering souls.
I guess someone will come knocking someday, some1 like u. LOL!
Anyway, I felt tt if u really feel withdrawn, u might wanna take a look around and see if there's any1 who look equally withdrawn. All humans are more or less e same, and then different. U might wanna knock on "door" of those u suspect feeling e same. It's always ez to make friends wif some1 of yr frequency, though it's kinda a bad habit to b so choosy...
Cheer up. Btw, i've added ya for MSN. u didn't accept? -
Hi people, thanks.
Fear is really a crippling thing. The only way out is to brave the storm ( (pains/ sorrows or maybe happiness) and do what i think is right? I want to befriend these people but do these people want to befriend me? Don't you have this kind of doubts sometimes? Maybe because of me being doubtful, make me behaving not myself. -
Originally posted by Jazzytunez:
Have CONFIDENCE in yourself.
Hi people, thanks.
[b]Fear is really a crippling thing. The only way out is to brave the storm ( (pains/ sorrows or maybe happiness) and do what i think is right? I want to befriend these people but do these people want to befriend me? Don't you have this kind of doubts sometimes? Maybe because of me being doubtful, make me behaving not myself.
[/b]
Sometimes being overly sensitive is not a good thing.