How much pain can one take?
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Going through an extremely bad patch with my gf. She claims she suddenly unsure about her feelings for her a few months back. After going through so much with her these 3 years, i really couldn't bear to give up. So i decide to hang on to this relationship, no matter what. At least until she tells me in the face that she wants a break-up.
It has been months and i am still hanging on. Meanwhile she is still confused on whether to break up. In her state of confusion, her treatment towards me is so cold! When she feels like replying to my SMS, she will reply, if not, it's like my SMS are invisible. Everytime i call her, she will be busy with something! She is happier being with her colleagues and friends than with me! My mind can't help comparing her current attitude towards me with her behavior just a few months back!
The pain is indescribable! -
you gotta find out.. limbo is not a good place for you to be..
so that you can either get her back or to walk...
in order to be able to do either, you have to know..
i hope you will be well
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You my friend is facing a tough situation. I am sure there must be arguments where either one side refuse to give in to the other.
Your gf by giving you the Cold treatment, can be interpreted as either trying to test how much you need her; Remember this, when a gal feels the demand, she can raise the price. If this is the situation, it depends on how much you can suck to it, how creative you are to turn the situation around to make her happy. By repeatedly calling her, smsing to her is a Mistake, you are clearly showing your weakness that you need her more. Its a gals instinct, remember if you lose the control, you would be having lots of problem in future.
Or...you have totally pissed her off and she wants a way out.
But the good thing is..by being confused on whether to break up, she probably have not found another guy yet. If she did, it would be a strait forward Goodbye to you.
By the way, I was just watching a Chinese movie on the movie channel about 3 playboys.. one of the dude mention.. why waste the whole forest over a single tree, right?
Tell us more of the situation.. perhaps a solution would be found.
Good luck dude! -
Nope. Honestly we did not get into any arguements or anything like that. Neither did i do anything seriously wrong. I treated her as well as i could, pampered on her etc. Yet she complained that our relationship is getting routine and boring. When i ask her what did i do wrong, she tells me she doesn't know, and that somehow her feelings for me just faded.Originally posted by yakyak:You my friend is facing a tough situation. I am sure there must be arguments where either one side refuse to give in to the other.
Your gf by giving you the Cold treatment, can be interpreted as either trying to test how much you need her; Remember this, when a gal feels the demand, she can raise the price. If this is the situation, it depends on how much you can suck to it, how creative you are to turn the situation around to make her happy. By repeatedly calling her, smsing to her is a Mistake, you are clearly showing your weakness that you need her more. Its a gals instinct, remember if you lose the control, you would be having lots of problem in future.
Or...you have totally pissed her off and she wants a way out.
But the good thing is..by being confused on whether to break up, she probably have not found another guy yet. If she did, it would be a strait forward Goodbye to you.
By the way, I was just watching a Chinese movie on the movie channel about 3 playboys.. one of the dude mention.. why waste the whole forest over a single tree, right?
Tell us more of the situation.. perhaps a solution would be found.
Good luck dude!
Gradually, by talking with one of her best friend and much thoughts, i conclude that she is feeling insecure. Throughout our relationship, she will for no apparent reason start crying and pleading with me not to leave her, even though i have no such intention at all. By the way, she comes from a broken family, her father married and remarried several times.......
Actually i tried not SMSing her and etc, but that backfired. She simply don't give a damn.
My point is that she may be unsure of our relationship, but the way she is behaving towards me really hurts! I told her how hurted i am, how unappreciated i feel. But yet she continues doing so, i am just wondering how much more i can take? -
I also have my own problems....
Tho she haf no intentions of breaking up and is totally secured wiv me. She priortise her frds more than me. haiz. -
u'l b surprised 2 find out tt sometimes human beings reali can stretch.. sadly, e deeper u let yourself go in.. e higher your threshold wil go.. nothing's nvr too tough 4 anyone..
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Be a man and go after her again...girls need to feel loved most of the time. Never neglect the emotional attention that she needed from you. Remember the reason why you wanted her so badly in the first place...if necessary, take out all the photographs that you shared with her and went through again. You will know what to do to make her feel loved by you once again.Originally posted by icycold:Going through an extremely bad patch with my gf. She claims she suddenly unsure about her feelings for her a few months back. After going through so much with her these 3 years, i really couldn't bear to give up. So i decide to hang on to this relationship, no matter what. At least until she tells me in the face that she wants a break-up.
It has been months and i am still hanging on. Meanwhile she is still confused on whether to break up. In her state of confusion, her treatment towards me is so cold! When she feels like replying to my SMS, she will reply, if not, it's like my SMS are invisible. Everytime i call her, she will be busy with something! She is happier being with her colleagues and friends than with me! My mind can't help comparing her current attitude towards me with her behavior just a few months back!
The pain is indescribable!
Surprise her...and good luck. -
Be a man and get back your backbone.
Stop contacting her for a while. If she contacts you, you still have a case. If she does not, you have lost her forever.
Don't waste your time and energy thinking abt what to do or how to win her back. Do something more meaningful or something you have always wanted to do but could not do due to her presence. (Er, visiting prostitutes does not count, okie?).
You have to realise that she is the one who decides upon the outcome of this relationship. Let her think in peace.
Pestering her will cost you the only arsenal you still have - your self-respect.
No woman wants a guy with no backbone or self-respect. Show her you are capable of living your life w/o her, and it is her loss to dump you. -
Then i think tat it is quite obvious tat she is not interested in tis relationship anymore?
Mayb u should jus learn to accept the fact... It isn't easy... But u gonna face it... I know tat it is hard to jus break off lik tat... But if u really love her, u will want her to be happy instead of baskin in misery or unsureness?
When one party does not lik the other party, it is very hard for the relationship to be able to substain long... Chang tong bu ru tuan tong...
Tak it easy... Wat's urs will be urs... Wat's not urs, u cannot force... -
Originally posted by icycold:Going through an extremely bad patch with my gf. She claims she suddenly unsure about her feelings for her a few months back. After going through so much with her these 3 years, i really couldn't bear to give up. So i decide to hang on to this relationship, no matter what. At least until she tells me in the face that she wants a break-up.
It has been months and i am still hanging on. Meanwhile she is still confused on whether to break up. In her state of confusion, her treatment towards me is so cold! When she feels like replying to my SMS, she will reply, if not, it's like my SMS are invisible. Everytime i call her, she will be busy with something! She is happier being with her colleagues and friends than with me! My mind can't help comparing her current attitude towards me with her behavior just a few months back!
The pain is indescribable!
Confused whether to break up? More like she is trying to force you pop out the ultimate phrase so that she probably wouldn't have to think/consider anymore? Furthermore, she wouldn't be the 'bad girl'.
Don't hang on for the sake of hanging on - date her out and have a soul talk. Make this a day where you would want to know if she is still interested in the relationship anot. No point trying to continue a relationship in such a way; talk things out and even if she wanna break, a period to cool down, etc - at least SOMETHING is done instead of being passive about your situations.
Cheers -
treat her the way she treats u and see if she likes this...
it takes 2 hands to clap, if she's not interested, let it be n let her go... -
Seems that shes just not into it anymore... whos life is not routine anyways...
When life gets routine and boring she will do something if she really cares.
good luck anyways
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Let me try to explain it from my pt of view. My ex gf did the same thing to me. It's also 3 years. Anyway apparently she's been cheating on me and it's just her way of telling me to back off and just let go. Which of cos I did. It was hard but in the long run it's the best solution. Sure we will be hurt but we learn from our relationship this way. It sucks when you get shit from someone you actually loves a lot. Anyway take care and take heed my feelings. It's just my 2 cents worthOriginally posted by icycold:Going through an extremely bad patch with my gf. She claims she suddenly unsure about her feelings for her a few months back. After going through so much with her these 3 years, i really couldn't bear to give up. So i decide to hang on to this relationship, no matter what. At least until she tells me in the face that she wants a break-up.
It has been months and i am still hanging on. Meanwhile she is still confused on whether to break up. In her state of confusion, her treatment towards me is so cold! When she feels like replying to my SMS, she will reply, if not, it's like my SMS are invisible. Everytime i call her, she will be busy with something! She is happier being with her colleagues and friends than with me! My mind can't help comparing her current attitude towards me with her behavior just a few months back!
The pain is indescribable! -
Hmmmmm....she sounds like me before I dumped my ex.
In my case I got sick and tired of him. 4 yrs of relationship and we were heading no where and I got sick of his temper and nonsense. Would rather be out with my friends. I hoped that my coldness and indifference would make him leave but to no avail till my current bf turned up and I said bye bye to my ex. -
the greater the pain, the more numb one becomes.
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sometimes u need to treat her the same way she treats u. let her understand how u feel, if she doesnt feel anything, sadly to say its over.
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Go after her? Honestly my feelings for her have never changed. I still attempt to treat her as well as i can. But she is trying to keep me out of her life. I don't have a chance to go after her!Originally posted by parn:Be a man and go after her again...girls need to feel loved most of the time. Never neglect the emotional attention that she needed from you. Remember the reason why you wanted her so badly in the first place...if necessary, take out all the photographs that you shared with her and went through again. You will know what to do to make her feel loved by you once again.
Surprise her...and good luck.
Looking at photos only makes me think of the wonderful memories and makes me more miserable! -
I tried that. But she assumes that i am giving up on the relationship and she continues doing nothing too. I am unable to let the relationship die off like that!Originally posted by mushigen:Be a man and get back your backbone.
Stop contacting her for a while. If she contacts you, you still have a case. If she does not, you have lost her forever.
Don't waste your time and energy thinking abt what to do or how to win her back. Do something more meaningful or something you have always wanted to do but could not do due to her presence. (Er, visiting prostitutes does not count, okie?).
You have to realise that she is the one who decides upon the outcome of this relationship. Let her think in peace.
Pestering her will cost you the only arsenal you still have - your self-respect.
No woman wants a guy with no backbone or self-respect. Show her you are capable of living your life w/o her, and it is her loss to dump you.
I do not have the courage to try walking away from her. Meanwhile i am trying to regain a grip on my life and do something useful. -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
We are in the middle of a 'cool down period'. I was having the thought that she simply didn't have the courage to ask for a breakup or be the 'bad guy'. But she claims that she is not. She tells me that she needs time to think it through and that she is simply confused. Actually i have tried everything i can. I got her friends to convince her, i pestered her, i gave her the space she wants etc. All these months, i tried everything i can. Confused whether to break up? More like she is trying to force you pop out the ultimate phrase [b]so that she probably wouldn't have to think/consider anymore? Furthermore, she wouldn't be the 'bad girl'.
Don't hang on for the sake of hanging on - date her out and have a soul talk. Make this a day where you would want to know if she is still interested in the relationship anot. No point trying to continue a relationship in such a way; talk things out and even if she wanna break, a period to cool down, etc - at least SOMETHING is done instead of being passive about your situations.
Cheers[/b] -
She can't make up her bloody mind if she is still interested. And by the way there is no 3rd party involved. She claims that her feelings for me just fizzled off. She doesn't know why. I will let her go if she is determined she doesn't want me around but the thing is she is unsure.Originally posted by nemo77:treat her the way she treats u and see if she likes this...
it takes 2 hands to clap, if she's not interested, let it be n let her go... -
Originally posted by icycold:We are in the middle of a 'cool down period'. I was having the thought that she simply didn't have the courage to ask for a breakup or be the 'bad guy'. But she claims that she is not. She tells me that she needs time to think it through and that she is simply confused. Actually i have tried everything i can. I got her friends to convince her, i pestered her, i gave her the space she wants etc. All these months, i tried everything i can. This very fact has shown the signs of one who doesn't want to be the 'bad guy'.
P.S: Is she a Libra? (Aquarius or Gemini?)
Cheers -
Yup, I too agree that she wants the guy to be the bad guy and call off the relationship.
Icycold,
Pestering her will turn her off even more. Guys tend to believe that if the guys don't do anything, it will drive the girl away thinking that the girls are not loved. It is exactly the opposite. If the girls think that the guys can live well with or w/o her, she will find him more attractive. -
Confused?? i bet not!!Originally posted by icycold:Going through an extremely bad patch with my gf. She claims she suddenly unsure about her feelings for her a few months back. After going through so much with her these 3 years, i really couldn't bear to give up. So i decide to hang on to this relationship, no matter what. At least until she tells me in the face that she wants a break-up.
It has been months and i am still hanging on. Meanwhile she is still confused on whether to break up. In her state of confusion, her treatment towards me is so cold! When she feels like replying to my SMS, she will reply, if not, it's like my SMS are invisible. Everytime i call her, she will be busy with something! She is happier being with her colleagues and friends than with me! My mind can't help comparing her current attitude towards me with her behavior just a few months back!
The pain is indescribable!
see the point of she avoiding you totally.. she jus waiting for you to say "we break-up". She's doesn't want to say.. She doesn't wants to be claim as the "bad person" who initates the break-up..
Her attitutde has change towards you.. What's the use of hanging onto something where there's no return.. You are the only one giving and not her... she feels happy with anyone else.. but not you! she already has the intention to break-up.. her confusion only signifies to say or not to say.. and not.. whether to even consider she loves or do not love you..
Let her go.. let yourself breathe.. you are near to death.. if you dun let go.. you'll be choke to death one day... get out of her life... give yourself time.. to adjust back to your own living.. and have a new start again.. 3 years.. oso not say long.. anyway.. in r/s is not the time that counts.. is the moments and happiness you had and give to each other..
Don't look back.. MOVe FORWArd!
Cheers.. -
Originally posted by icycold:She can't make up her bloody mind if she is still interested. And by the way there is no 3rd party involved. She claims that her feelings for me just fizzled off. She doesn't know why. I will let her go if she is determined she doesn't want me around but the thing is she is unsure. Both your age and horoscopes. Know any other possible reason for her to feel that way? How long have the both of you been together?
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She is 24 years Sagittarus. I am 25, Virgo.
I have been trying for months, convincing myself 'Love is over' and coaxing myself to get her out of my life, but i just can't do it.
One reason is that she is doing so without any logic. I didn't do anything to let her down. Our 3 years relationship was doing really really well. Out of a sudden, she lost interest in me and claims that she just wants to be alone. I told her that there isn't any logic that she wants to be alone when we were so ok together.
By the way, after doing some research around, it seems that people from broken families can behave like this. They are secretly afraid of committment and are highly insecure.