Feeling Terrible
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Jus pondering over the miserable state of my social life now..
The last time I had a regular group of friends, hang-out kakis was in secondary sch. Over the yrs, as we grew up & move on, IÂ’ve been feeling increasingly isolated & lonely.
The initial excitement of having a GF helpsÂ… but eventually, I felt like a loser when I compare my life with hers. On any fri or sat, sheÂ’ll have like queues of ppl (both guys & gals) waiting to meet her. Even when sheÂ’s with me physically, sheÂ’ll be busy answering her calls.
By comparison, IÂ’ll be staring at my phone hoping for a call to ease my embarrassment & wondering where has my life gone wrong.
IÂ’ve always been amazed by the drastic differences in the way her friends adored her & the way my friends treat me.
Today my phone hardly rings, except from my mum & work purposes. The friends I managed to make in school now are the classic hi-bye types. But at least I get to meet ppl when I am in school or working part time. IÂ’m beginning to dread weekend cause thatÂ’s when I have no classes. I am also beginning to dread the festive seasons, esp the year-end ones, cause thatÂ’s where the pressure of being alone & not having friends is the greatest.
This period of “isolation” has given me time for reflections & to work on other aspects of my life (e.g. family, work & studies). But beyond these, I REALLY feel that there should be more to life.
IÂ’ve not been to the movies or gone clubbing for agesÂ… simply for the lack of company. Small comforts that are co common & natural for most pplÂ… seemed so elusive to me.
The only few friends I have now are those that almost never call meÂ… & from the way theyÂ’ve been treating me, I rely feel so discouraged about asking them out.
When you are treated like that by the ppl around you, it’s not merely the feeling of having no company, being lonely. I start to have this “where have my life went wrong? Is there something fundamentally flawed about me?”
I've tried to work or sleep my way through the countless weekends where i simply can't find human company. But i realised this problem is really affecting my mood & self-esteem.
Feeling pathetic & terrible -
Well, its sometimes like that in life.. I was once in the same boat as you.. Sometimes its the things we do which make people dislike us.. Think abt your actions and what you do to make people think of you this way..
Hmmz.. Different people have their different social circle.. Some of them are easily able to make new frens.. Some are easily being able to ask to go out etc.. But that does not mean that you have your flaws or what.. Its personality problem we are talking abt..
Time will let this go.. There are times when we are in the lowest part of our life.. This maybe one of yours.. Don't worry too much..
SMile always. -
U are not alone...
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i be yr friend!
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but i also feel down right down.....
i
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Is always lik tat... U r all close in sec school... But as time passes, each has each path to tak, n slowly slowly u all drift apart... It is kinda of hard to really meet up wif everyone when each is busy wif his / her life, work schedule etc...
U mayb free tis daes, but who cannot, who can, etc... So is very hard, unless u r all in the same cliques or collegues...
Mayb ur friends now r jus less outgoin??? Whereas ur gf grp of friends r more outgoin... most prob coz of the differnt envt tat u work in.... Mayb ur collegues r few... n her collegues alot, so, of coz they have more outins...
Don worry... U r not alone.... Really bored? Suggest a sgforums outin ba! Surely alot will turn up... N u be makin lots of friends!
3 cheers!
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how come even online also no replies
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wad u mean online oso no replies.
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quite true.. but lookin at my ex, she nv seem to lose any of her frens.Originally posted by ahkico:Is always lik tat... U r all close in sec school... But as time passes, each has each path to tak, n slowly slowly u all drift apart... It is kinda of hard to really meet up wif everyone when each is busy wif his / her life, work schedule etc...
U mayb free tis daes, but who cannot, who can, etc... So is very hard, unless u r all in the same cliques or collegues...
Mayb ur friends now r jus less outgoin??? Whereas ur gf grp of friends r more outgoin... most prob coz of the differnt envt tat u work in.... Mayb ur collegues r few... n her collegues alot, so, of coz they have more outins...
Don worry... U r not alone.... Really bored? Suggest a sgforums outin ba! Surely alot will turn up... N u be makin lots of friends!
3 cheers!
Over the yrs, i have lost countless workout kakis, clubbin kakis, & now even normal frens -
As everybody else says, you are not alone!
I am in the same boat too. Friends are all too occupied with their own lives. End up becoming very dependant on gf. Now our relationship on the rocks, i end up very depressed over a potential breakup, and depressed over being so alone. Sigh........ -
pls take care..Originally posted by icycold:As everybody else says, you are not alone!
I am in the same boat too. Friends are all too occupied with their own lives. End up becoming very dependant on gf. Now our relationship on the rocks, i end up very depressed over a potential breakup, and depressed over being so alone. Sigh........ -
Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:Jus pondering over the miserable state of my social life now..
The last time I had a regular group of friends, hang-out kakis was in secondary sch. Over the yrs, as we grew up & move on, IÂ’ve been feeling increasingly isolated & lonely.
The initial excitement of having a GF helpsÂ… but eventually, I felt like a loser when I compare my life with hers. On any fri or sat, sheÂ’ll have like queues of ppl (both guys & gals) waiting to meet her. Even when sheÂ’s with me physically, sheÂ’ll be busy answering her calls.
By comparison, IÂ’ll be staring at my phone hoping for a call to ease my embarrassment & wondering where has my life gone wrong.
IÂ’ve always been amazed by the drastic differences in the way her friends adored her & the way my friends treat me.
Today my phone hardly rings, except from my mum & work purposes. The friends I managed to make in school now are the classic hi-bye types. But at least I get to meet ppl when I am in school or working part time. IÂ’m beginning to dread weekend cause thatÂ’s when I have no classes. I am also beginning to dread the festive seasons, esp the year-end ones, cause thatÂ’s where the pressure of being alone & not having friends is the greatest.
This period of “isolation” has given me time for reflections & to work on other aspects of my life (e.g. family, work & studies). But beyond these, I REALLY feel that there should be more to life.
IÂ’ve not been to the movies or gone clubbing for agesÂ… simply for the lack of company. Small comforts that are co common & natural for most pplÂ… seemed so elusive to me.
The only few friends I have now are those that almost never call meÂ… & from the way theyÂ’ve been treating me, I rely feel so discouraged about asking them out.
When you are treated like that by the ppl around you, it’s not merely the feeling of having no company, being lonely. I start to have this “where have my life went wrong? Is there something fundamentally flawed about me?”
I've tried to work or sleep my way through the countless weekends where i simply can't find human company. But i realised this problem is really affecting my mood & self-esteem.
Feeling pathetic & terrible
Friends don't just drop from heaven unless you do make attempt to know and upkeep them. To only stick to a few good bunch of friends is good, but only if they don't let you down.
I walked my life with huge social circle, but I did walked alone before - its a matter of when are you ready to break free of yourself. When you are walking alone - having a gf or not doesn't matter. Its more about you.
P.S: Are you a Taurus, Leo, Aquarius or Scorpio?
Cheers -
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Hmm...the reason why people felt like this is because of a sheer lack of self-confidence. People with self-confidence are always the people with a lot of friends. People are naturally attracted to people with self-confidence...so go and cultivate some self-confidence in yourself and feel good about yourself first. Pick up a hobby, listen to some nice motivation music/songs, do something that you are good at...be it playing games or drawing or any sports. They will make you feel good about yourself. Next, you need to rearrange your mindset to think positively. I know it is not easy to do it if I tell you to do it sincerely. So I would tell you not to do it sincerely instead. Go ahead and lie to yourself in order to think positively when the situation requires you to do so. Lie to yourself shamelessly by convincing yourself that you are the king of the world...if that will make you think and view the situation positively. Never think negatively or you will fall back into your own self-destructive pattern.
Nobody can give you back your own confidence except yourself. Regain your self-confidence once again and this type of problem/trouble/worries will not bother you again.
Good luck. -
some times i feel the same way......
how i wish there is this someone to be there for me...when i need him by mysideOriginally posted by A Beautiful Mind:Jus pondering over the miserable state of my social life now..
The last time I had a regular group of friends, hang-out kakis was in secondary sch. Over the yrs, as we grew up & move on, IÂ’ve been feeling increasingly isolated & lonely.
The initial excitement of having a GF helpsÂ… but eventually, I felt like a loser when I compare my life with hers. On any fri or sat, sheÂ’ll have like queues of ppl (both guys & gals) waiting to meet her. Even when sheÂ’s with me physically, sheÂ’ll be busy answering her calls.
By comparison, IÂ’ll be staring at my phone hoping for a call to ease my embarrassment & wondering where has my life gone wrong.
IÂ’ve always been amazed by the drastic differences in the way her friends adored her & the way my friends treat me.
Today my phone hardly rings, except from my mum & work purposes. The friends I managed to make in school now are the classic hi-bye types. But at least I get to meet ppl when I am in school or working part time. IÂ’m beginning to dread weekend cause thatÂ’s when I have no classes. I am also beginning to dread the festive seasons, esp the year-end ones, cause thatÂ’s where the pressure of being alone & not having friends is the greatest.
This period of “isolation” has given me time for reflections & to work on other aspects of my life (e.g. family, work & studies). But beyond these, I REALLY feel that there should be more to life.
IÂ’ve not been to the movies or gone clubbing for agesÂ… simply for the lack of company. Small comforts that are co common & natural for most pplÂ… seemed so elusive to me.
The only few friends I have now are those that almost never call meÂ… & from the way theyÂ’ve been treating me, I rely feel so discouraged about asking them out.
When you are treated like that by the ppl around you, it’s not merely the feeling of having no company, being lonely. I start to have this “where have my life went wrong? Is there something fundamentally flawed about me?”
I've tried to work or sleep my way through the countless weekends where i simply can't find human company. But i realised this problem is really affecting my mood & self-esteem.
Feeling pathetic & terrible -
quote]Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:
Jus pondering over the miserable state of my social life now..
The last time I had a regular group of friends, hang-out kakis was in secondary sch. Over the yrs, as we grew up & move on, IÂ’ve been feeling increasingly isolated & lonely.
The initial excitement of having a GF helpsÂ… but eventually, I felt like a loser when I compare my life with hers. On any fri or sat, sheÂ’ll have like queues of ppl (both guys & gals) waiting to meet her. Even when sheÂ’s with me physically, sheÂ’ll be busy answering her calls.
By comparison, IÂ’ll be staring at my phone hoping for a call to ease my embarrassment & wondering where has my life gone wrong.
IÂ’ve always been amazed by the drastic differences in the way her friends adored her & the way my friends treat me.
Today my phone hardly rings, except from my mum & work purposes. The friends I managed to make in school now are the classic hi-bye types. But at least I get to meet ppl when I am in school or working part time. IÂ’m beginning to dread weekend cause thatÂ’s when I have no classes. I am also beginning to dread the festive seasons, esp the year-end ones, cause thatÂ’s where the pressure of being alone & not having friends is the greatest.
This period of “isolation” has given me time for reflections & to work on other aspects of my life (e.g. family, work & studies). But beyond these, I REALLY feel that there should be more to life.
IÂ’ve not been to the movies or gone clubbing for agesÂ… simply for the lack of company. Small comforts that are co common & natural for most pplÂ… seemed so elusive to me.
The only few friends I have now are those that almost never call meÂ… & from the way theyÂ’ve been treating me, I rely feel so discouraged about asking them out.
When you are treated like that by the ppl around you, it’s not merely the feeling of having no company, being lonely. I start to have this “where have my life went wrong? Is there something fundamentally flawed about me?”
I've tried to work or sleep my way through the countless weekends where i simply can't find human company. But i realised this problem is really affecting my mood & self-esteem.
Feeling pathetic & terrible
[/quote]
Yo dude, chill out...
At one pt in time, I went thru almost the same stage as you.
When I was in pri and sec sch, I was so happy cos I have a lot of frens around me. You know the sort where the differents heads think alike. We would go out to orchard road on weekends jus to chill out, go fishing, DIY camping, window shopping, looking at girls and all that. Life was so carefree back then.. cos my frens stayed nearby my block and so almost everyday we would hangout after school to talk crap abt school and all that bull.
My life faced a drastic change when I stepped into a tertiary sch. More of a culture shock really. There were so many 'fake' ppl in my school and I kinda despised them. When I was in my first year, I didn't have much frens. More of a loner. I was mighty depressed that time and I tried to call back and hangout with those school frens of mine. We met up once in a while and noticed that my frens were no longer the same ppl as I knew them years ago. Everyone got together and brag how cool their school were and how many gerls they dated (ok ok, my tertiary school back then was so uncool. I shall not say out what school that is). Boasting is the main thing in our conversations.
And yes... I was so depressed. Very.
When I was in 2nd year, I joined music club. So from there, I tried to open up myself and make more frens. At least better a bit. I managed to play in school concerts. It was cool lah. But still I was kinda shy towards gerls. Yeah I don't even have gerl-frens.
Enuff of school life.. As usual, went to NS and spent 2 and a half years there. I still don't have any girl-frens that time.. still anti social...haha.. I get to know a few gerls and yeah.. from there.. i did try and error thing.. and uh.. 'i failed'.. you know.. those relationship things.
And now, I'm in the workforce. The first two years in the workforce was kinda sad because of the transition from school/ns life to real life. It's quite an eye opener to see that there are lot of politics in a workplaces. Backstabbing, unwilling to share knowledge by seniors and all that shit. So my life was more like work, going home, work, going home and the cycle repeats itself. You may ask where are school, NS frens.. they are settling down. Those buaya frens of mine during school time.. yes.. they are settling down.
I know how you feel dude..
But now, my life... can say that it's much more happening. I helped my fren doing flea marts, hanging out wif a fren of mine who likes to club (i also follow him clubbing), play in gigs (i got a band lah) and from there, I try to socialise and do some 'networking'. At this point in time, I've met lots ppl form walks of life... some are cool to hangout with and some I really detest.
Well back to the point.. everyone do feel lonely at times. Me too. We have to face it lah. It's a matter of how you deal with it.
Maybe u can try befriend back those fellas which u feel u can relate to. Hang out with them, go play pool or go clubbing with them, whateverlah.. Try to stay away from those manic depressives.. this group of ppl can only make u feel worse.
It seems that u have low self-esteem problem. U should love yourself more dude. Every morning, look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself what kind of person you are looking at. Have more confidence. Smile always. Be more outgoing.. not to the extent of being pretentious(well.. girls nowadays are like that! Outgoing, outgoing.. but so fake! hehe..)
Just my 2 cents worth.. Feel good about yourself...
P/S: What kind of person yr gfren is? Wat's makes her so famous? -
u mean on ICQ or MSN izzit?Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:how come even online also no replies
Not replying to ur online msgs dont mean they are ignoring u lah, but they are preoccupied with something else maybe, like playing games? I also experienced times when i sent them a msg and then they reply only 2 hours later! I also have some msgs totally never reply one, so u r not alone ya.
If u feel that u need company, think u have to be proactive a bit lah, meet more pple, widen social circle, and then the cycle will naturally manifest itself. Or why not do something with your family on weekends? Eat out with them or something? Life is not only about friends, family matters too.
Good Luck!
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Haiya.... cheer up man... nobody talk to u..?? give me ur msn.... i will bother u until u cannot tahan... hahaOriginally posted by A Beautiful Mind:Jus pondering over the miserable state of my social life now..
The last time I had a regular group of friends, hang-out kakis was in secondary sch. Over the yrs, as we grew up & move on, IÂ’ve been feeling increasingly isolated & lonely.
The initial excitement of having a GF helpsÂ… but eventually, I felt like a loser when I compare my life with hers. On any fri or sat, sheÂ’ll have like queues of ppl (both guys & gals) waiting to meet her. Even when sheÂ’s with me physically, sheÂ’ll be busy answering her calls.
By comparison, IÂ’ll be staring at my phone hoping for a call to ease my embarrassment & wondering where has my life gone wrong.
IÂ’ve always been amazed by the drastic differences in the way her friends adored her & the way my friends treat me.
Today my phone hardly rings, except from my mum & work purposes. The friends I managed to make in school now are the classic hi-bye types. But at least I get to meet ppl when I am in school or working part time. IÂ’m beginning to dread weekend cause thatÂ’s when I have no classes. I am also beginning to dread the festive seasons, esp the year-end ones, cause thatÂ’s where the pressure of being alone & not having friends is the greatest.
This period of “isolation” has given me time for reflections & to work on other aspects of my life (e.g. family, work & studies). But beyond these, I REALLY feel that there should be more to life.
IÂ’ve not been to the movies or gone clubbing for agesÂ… simply for the lack of company. Small comforts that are co common & natural for most pplÂ… seemed so elusive to me.
The only few friends I have now are those that almost never call meÂ… & from the way theyÂ’ve been treating me, I rely feel so discouraged about asking them out.
When you are treated like that by the ppl around you, it’s not merely the feeling of having no company, being lonely. I start to have this “where have my life went wrong? Is there something fundamentally flawed about me?”
I've tried to work or sleep my way through the countless weekends where i simply can't find human company. But i realised this problem is really affecting my mood & self-esteem.
Feeling pathetic & terrible
Dun u have any interest that u wanna pick up? Use this time u have to enrich urself... and u may find new friends in the course too.
How abt doing volunteer work? Thought of that before?
Anyway.. i'm serious abt the msn ... i will counsell u... let me impart some of my optimistic-ism(i made it up myself) to u hahaha -
Don't worry, I have the same problem as you. I always wonder why people never really bothers to ask me out. But it turn out to be my own problem. I mean they used to ask me out, I always rejected them because I dislike group outing and there are always a few people whom I do not like in the group. Overtime, they grew tired and stop asking me out.
Also, I only talk to people I close to... It's hard for me to make new friends as I'm very reserved. And I also do not want to take the intiative to call or meet up with them because I am afraid of rejection. I rather myself rejecting them than they rejecting me. It's all ego and stuff... and I do have low self esteem too.. I always have a feeling that they dislike me or something.. and dun tok to them much...
So like me, the best solution is to sit down and think what have gone wrong. Nobody knows you better than yourself. Once you found out the problem, rectified it, and hopefully, things will go better..
For me, I'm more open now and I usually will go anywhere as long as people ask me out. But there are still room for improvement. -
Ya.. agree.. my friends also.. they always ask mi go shopping all that.. ya.. I luv shopping.. but shopping with my girl friends.. is a bit quite boring.. they will walk for so long n end up buying so little or even worse.. dint buy at all.. haha.. mi think la.. to mi is abit waste of time.. thatÂ’s y mi always reject them.. eventually, they also lazy to ask liaO.. n also.. not really gt a lot of friends is gd.. sum friends will end up getting u into trouble.. lik 1 of my friend.. went to meet pPl online.. n end up geeting lots of trouble.. I think is all abt own selves.. n alsO.. muz know hw to chOOse friends.. u can have few friends.. but these few friends is the ones hu end up helping u when u r in troubles.. so to mi Â… lots of friends does not always = gd.. its abt hw to lok at the situation..n hw to make it better.. ..cheers up man.. lots of pPl alsO at the same boat with u.. we r alsO the samE..
[/quote] -
Hmm... Interesting post
Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:
Jus pondering over the miserable state of my social life now..
The last time I had a regular group of friends, hang-out kakis was in secondary sch. Over the yrs, as we grew up & move on, IÂ’ve been feeling increasingly isolated & lonely.
Ya.. That point of my life...
The initial excitement of having a GF helpsÂ… but eventually, I felt like a loser when I compare my life with hers. On any fri or sat, sheÂ’ll have like queues of ppl (both guys & gals) waiting to meet her. Even when sheÂ’s with me physically, sheÂ’ll be busy answering her calls.
By comparison, IÂ’ll be staring at my phone hoping for a call to ease my embarrassment & wondering where has my life gone wrong.
IÂ’ve always been amazed by the drastic differences in the way her friends adored her & the way my friends treat me.
Today my phone hardly rings, except from my mum & work purposes. The friends I managed to make in school now are the classic hi-bye types. But at least I get to meet ppl when I am in school or working part time. IÂ’m beginning to dread weekend cause thatÂ’s when I have no classes. I am also beginning to dread the festive seasons, esp the year-end ones, cause thatÂ’s where the pressure of being alone & not having friends is the greatest.
Understand that different people leads a different kinda life style... Just because your gf is an extrovert, doesn't mean that you'll have to be one... Though no doubt the more extrovert ones would usually seems to be more popular with other people.. But I've always thought it's more important to be yourself and lead your life the way you want to...?
This period of “isolation” has given me time for reflections & to work on other aspects of my life (e.g. family, work & studies). But beyond these, I REALLY feel that there should be more to life.
IÂ’ve not been to the movies or gone clubbing for agesÂ… simply for the lack of company. Small comforts that are co common & natural for most pplÂ… seemed so elusive to me.
Like the others have suggested, you'll have to create your own circle of friends and contacts.. Get out there and MEET MORE people... Join us for OUTINGS!!!
Strangely enough, I've always thought of myself as an introvert... The type who would enjoy watching a movie alone and even goes clubbing ALONE... Kinda WEIRD? Well.. People used to look at me that way... But I guess I'm just DIFFERENT..? Now I still meet people.. Laugh a bit.. Joke a bit (?)... Haha.. It's not about HOW you MUST lead your life... Just live the way you want it to be...?
The only few friends I have now are those that almost never call meÂ… & from the way theyÂ’ve been treating me, I rely feel so discouraged about asking them out.
At some point of my life I felt ALMOST the same way as you... If not WORSE? Oh well.. MINDSET... MENTALITY... It's just how you think of it and what you make out of things..?
When you are treated like that by the ppl around you, it’s not merely the feeling of having no company, being lonely. I start to have this “where have my life went wrong? Is there something fundamentally flawed about me?”
Used to think that way... It's always good to reflect on yourself oce in a while in life... Work on it and changes some things if you feel that you should... But don't be TOO HARD on yourself.. That won't be too healthy...
I've tried to work or sleep my way through the countless weekends where i simply can't find human company. But i realised this problem is really affecting my mood & self-esteem.
Feeling pathetic & terrible
GET OUT THERE ON THE STREETS!!! MEET MORE PEOPLE IF YOU HAVE TO!!! ENJOY LIFE IF YA NEED TO...??!! -
I am PisecesOriginally posted by Yunhaier: Friends don't just drop from heaven unless you do make attempt to know and upkeep them. To only stick to a few good bunch of friends is good, but only if they don't let you down.
I walked my life with huge social circle, but I did walked alone before - its a matter of when are you ready to break free of yourself. When you are walking alone - having a gf or not doesn't matter. Its more about you.
P.S: Are you a Taurus, Leo, Aquarius or Scorpio? :idea:
Cheers -
Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:I am Piseces A possible weak placing of Mars in your birthchart will create a tendency to 'rant' without the sufficient strength to alter your current life. You may have a vision on what's wrong with your life, but you truely lack courage and intiative to change them. The Fishes are drowning with emotions, yet unable to cease feeling sorry for yourself.
Since you already know what's wrong with your current life, you have to make serious attempt to DO something DIFFERENT other than your usual approach. A simple gesture like joining some of the outing organised by various forumites may probably give you a headstart?
P.S: To walk a mile, you have to begin your first step.
Cheers -
Quite true.. i have a honest view of what's going wrong, but lack the strength to alter it.Originally posted by Yunhaier: A possible weak placing of Mars in your birthchart will create a tendency to 'rant' without the sufficient strength to alter your current life. You may have a vision on what's wrong with your life, but you truely lack courage and intiative to change them. The Fishes are drowning with emotions, yet unable to cease feeling sorry for yourself.
Since you already know what's wrong with your current life, you have to make serious attempt to DO something DIFFERENT other than your usual approach. A simple gesture like joining some of the outing organised by various forumites may probably give you a headstart?
P.S: To walk a mile, you have to begin your first step.
Cheers
My attempt at changes are usually short-lived. For example, i may try approaching ppl in class, initiate a small talk, but when i feel they dun rely accept me, i get discouraged..
The other problem'll be some of my classmates may recipocrate everytime i approach them, but they will never once take the initiative or call me.
I get very discouraged & put off by such response.. its as though whether i am there doesn't matter. -
Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:Quite true.. i have a honest view of what's going wrong, but lack the strength to alter it.
My attempt at changes are usually short-lived. For example, i may try approaching ppl in class, initiate a small talk, but when i feel they dun rely accept me, i get discouraged..
The other problem'll be some of my classmates may recipocrate everytime i approach them, but they will never once take the initiative or call me.
I get very discouraged & put off by such response.. its as though whether i am there doesn't matter. You ultimate change in life begins the minute you have decided to uphold the changes and start investing in options that you wouldn't attempt in the first place. To take initiative, to keep making that first call, to keep having small talks and everything else.
Eventually, you will land somewhere new if you kept doing it. Sure you can save all that trouble and remain yourself - but it brings you nowhere.
Cheers