I Have Decided...
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After 10 months, I still cannot forget how I was hurt. He two-timed me. He had beside me another woman whom he had kissed, held her hand and hugged her. He called her baby. What were I? I have had been with him for many years. After I confronted him, he broke off with her but that woman got hold of my phone number and had called to my house looking for my boyfriend. I was so scared that he would leave me. I cried a lot. And she called him everyday...Eventually I helped him to cut off all means of communication between them. I really don't know what I was doing then, maybe because I love him so much to actually begging him to come back to my side.
The reason of having another woman was he felt aimless after he passed his examination (He's not a student, he's working). He kept having short term goals in his life, which I feel very insecure for he thinks that future is a stress to him.
He was a cheater to that woman for he told her that he did not have girlfriend. He drove her around in his father car often to places that I and him don't normally go. Although he could have broke off with him after the first few days with her, he let her be by her side holding his hand.
Now... I have decided...to break off with him. We have no common goals at all (Maybe because I'm older than him by one year). All he think about is himself. I tired of checking on him every day and night. I tired....
How should I break off with him? -
Haiz... over here want to break people up... you there want to break up... Sekali you are her then I super heng... but I doubt it lah...
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so, the decision is made?
if so, just tell him everything you have said here...
and walk away...
i hope you will be well
he does not deserve you... one day, you may find someone worthy of your love and care..
until then, be well yah? -
Just tell him goodbye and why you're leaving
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My decision has been made. I know it would be painful for me initially. But everything will be over after this. I'm going to break off with him. But I don't how to. Tell him personally? or sms him....Originally posted by the Bear:so, the decision is made?
if so, just tell him everything you have said here...
and walk away...
i hope you will be well
he does not deserve you... one day, you may find someone worthy of your love and care..
until then, be well yah? -
There are many ways to break off with a guy/girl.. One way is you SMS him that you wanna a break up.. Which i think is the best idea.. Calling or meeting up with him would not be a recommended idea.. As both of you may end up quarreling or speechless..Originally posted by musicbox:My decision has been made. I know it would be painful for me initially. But everything will be over after this. I'm going to break off with him. But I don't how to. Tell him personally? or sms him....
We dunno how long the relationship with you and him are.. But yes, although he has short term goals and had another girl beside him before, think you should think carefully before making this decision..
But whatever it is, all the best.
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even tho he cheated on you, it's better to tell him face-to-face...
it'll be better for you too.. so that you can say to yourself you did not cop out...
be well..Originally posted by musicbox:My decision has been made. I know it would be painful for me initially. But everything will be over after this. I'm going to break off with him. But I don't how to. Tell him personally? or sms him.... -
well take care n good luck..
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On the other hand. I don't feel that just by sms the other party is the best way out. As of the non confronting and nasty method to deal with this problem.
Since the relationship has gotten into this state. The best way in my opinion should be a clean and straightforward meet-up and deal with the matter.
Sms is way too clique and doesn't carry weight in the message.
Have it occured to you that the reason you wanna break up is due to certain reasons of yourself? -
look at him straight in the eye n give it to him, but remember to make ur reasons clear...
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There may be possibility lar.. but base on what she say.. eh...Originally posted by M©+square:On the other hand. I don't feel that just by sms the other party is the best way out. As of the non confronting and nasty method to deal with this problem.
Since the relationship has gotten into this state. The best way in my opinion should be a clean and straightforward meet-up and deal with the matter.
Sms is way too clique and doesn't carry weight in the message.
Have it occured to you that the reason you wanna break up is due to certain reasons of yourself?
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watever juz follow ur heart
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Originally posted by musicbox:After 10 months, I still cannot forget how I was hurt. He two-timed me. He had beside me another woman whom he had kissed, held her hand and hugged her. He called her baby. What were I? I have had been with him for many years. After I confronted him, he broke off with her but that woman got hold of my phone number and had called to my house looking for my boyfriend. I was so scared that he would leave me. I cried a lot. And she called him everyday...Eventually I helped him to cut off all means of communication between them. I really don't know what I was doing then, maybe because I love him so much to actually begging him to come back to my side.
The reason of having another woman was he felt aimless after he passed his examination (He's not a student, he's working). He kept having short term goals in his life, which I feel very insecure for he thinks that future is a stress to him.
He was a cheater to that woman for he told her that he did not have girlfriend. He drove her around in his father car often to places that I and him don't normally go. Although he could have broke off with him after the first few days with her, he let her be by her side holding his hand.
Now... I have decided...to break off with him. We have no common goals at all (Maybe because I'm older than him by one year). All he think about is himself. I tired of checking on him every day and night. I tired....
How should I break off with him?
Don't ask if you should break up.
Ask if you could ever recover while having the relationship.
The answer is probably no.
To know that he did you wrong consciously because he betrayed not only the mind, but the heart. There is no reason strong enough to backup a two-timer; If he had lost all feelings, he could and would have left the relationship to pursue for someone new. But he didn't. He loved having the best of both world - to play deception to the other woman and enjoy cheap thrill, while having stability from your side.
He knows you needed him badly and questions is: are you going to play by his new rules?
P.S: We all hate to move on in relationship, but in fact, he/she is simply not the one. We don't want to move - they forced movement in us.
Cheers -
Since your mind is made up, just tell him personally & give the reason why. Choose a public place so he cannot make a scene.
Don't feel bad cos he is not worth it -
Poor woman. There's no easy way to break up with a partner. Tell him you want to break of and walk away. The rest is up to him.Originally posted by musicbox:Now... I have decided...to break off with him. We have no common goals at all (Maybe because I'm older than him by one year). All he think about is himself. I tired of checking on him every day and night. I tired....
How should I break off with him? -
Dun call on the phone.. dun ever sms.. Come out nd have a talk face to face.. effective way.. Another thing.. is that you must be prepared and firm with your decision.. must be determined.. if you really wanna break up with him..Originally posted by musicbox:After 10 months, I still cannot forget how I was hurt. He two-timed me. He had beside me another woman whom he had kissed, held her hand and hugged her. He called her baby. What were I? I have had been with him for many years. After I confronted him, he broke off with her but that woman got hold of my phone number and had called to my house looking for my boyfriend. I was so scared that he would leave me. I cried a lot. And she called him everyday...Eventually I helped him to cut off all means of communication between them. I really don't know what I was doing then, maybe because I love him so much to actually begging him to come back to my side.
The reason of having another woman was he felt aimless after he passed his examination (He's not a student, he's working). He kept having short term goals in his life, which I feel very insecure for he thinks that future is a stress to him.
He was a cheater to that woman for he told her that he did not have girlfriend. He drove her around in his father car often to places that I and him don't normally go. Although he could have broke off with him after the first few days with her, he let her be by her side holding his hand.
Now... I have decided...to break off with him. We have no common goals at all (Maybe because I'm older than him by one year). All he think about is himself. I tired of checking on him every day and night. I tired....
How should I break off with him?
Don't let your emotion overrun your rational mind.. if not.. it will be back to sqaure one again.. thereafter slowly pick yourself up.. and be yourself again.. Learn the most important lesson in here.. Dun repeat history!
Hope everything will be well over at your side..
Cheers.. -
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Originally posted by Yunhaier:
make a lot of sense.. are all guys lidat? want the best of both world even though they noe it wont last long? i had quite a few frens going thru dat and even i was once a victim.. Don't ask if you should break up.
Ask if you could ever recover while having the relationship.
The answer is probably no.
To know that he did you wrong consciously because he betrayed not only the mind, but the heart. There is no reason strong enough to backup a two-timer; If he had lost all feelings, he could and would have left the relationship to pursue for someone new. But he didn't. He loved having the best of both world - to play deception to the other woman and enjoy cheap thrill, while having stability from your side.
He knows you needed him badly and questions is: are you going to play by his new rules?
P.S: We all hate to move on in relationship, but in fact, he/she is simply not the one. We don't want to move - they [b]forced movement in us.
Cheers [/b]
musicbox..It's definitely sad and hard to accept. when he comes back to u(esp if he's the one you are deeply in love wif), it's a mixture of happiness, excitement and fear.. fear of bearing the pain to lose him again some day.. and the fear might turn out to be too unbearable dat u wish to juz break up and stop all the torment once and for all.. but juz think abt it seriously.. will u haf any regrets? if no juz say watever you had posted here.. i'll salute u as u had made a very brave decision.. it's not easy to gif up a long relationship and face the conequences.. i wasn't able to do it.. too tough for me.. no matter wat take care and be well! hope things will turn out fine!! -
what you say is true. i really feel extremely painful of the fear that is I'm going true. I kept scratching my hands these few days and kept feeling like pulling my hair. I really cannot control my emotions. Sometimes, I kept crying at night these few days. Especially when I watched movie or show with these type of scene, i become heartbroken and very depressed. I don't know what is the right choice. Only knows that I cannot see a future with him and that I'm haunted by this whole incident....Originally posted by ~Lyn~:make a lot of sense.. are all guys lidat? want the best of both world even though they noe it wont last long? i had quite a few frens going thru dat and even i was once a victim..
musicbox..It's definitely sad and hard to accept. when he comes back to u(esp if he's the one you are deeply in love wif), it's a mixture of happiness, excitement and fear.. fear of bearing the pain to lose him again some day.. and the fear might turn out to be too unbearable dat u wish to juz break up and stop all the torment once and for all.. but juz think abt it seriously.. will u haf any regrets? if no juz say watever you had posted here.. i'll salute u as u had made a very brave decision.. it's not easy to gif up a long relationship and face the conequences.. i wasn't able to do it.. too tough for me.. no matter wat take care and be well! hope things will turn out fine!! -
Conflict resolution skills mite com in handy now....... mediators & troubleshooters know wat 2 do in evry situation......
it sims u'v found d source of all d problem in ur r/s.....it's ur beau....
dis isn't exactly anyone's idea of fun, but d sooner u get thru d hard part, d more of life u'll haf left 2 do wateva u wan & truly deserve.....
All d Best -
Personally! never break off over phone. letter and sms.....Originally posted by musicbox:My decision has been made. I know it would be painful for me initially. But everything will be over after this. I'm going to break off with him. But I don't how to. Tell him personally? or sms him.... -
what you're feeling is perfectly normally.. but pls dun hurt urself any more.. stop scratching your hand or pulling your hair.. the thing is u still love him very much.same as my case.. when u are wif him there is great insecurity, without him, everything seemed meaningless..how abt talking to him? tell him how u feel and ask him whether he's willing to settle down.. u've known him for quite long so u shld be able to tell whether if he's telling the truth. if he cant settle down den i guess u haf to forget abt him. juz break up.. i dun wish u to be in my shoes, getting hurt again and again.. trust me when u divert ur attention on other stuff u'll be able to overcome the hurt.. u seemed to ba a nice gal so definitely you'll meet someone else.. it's juz a matter of time.. good luck and God bless. hope you'll feel better..Originally posted by musicbox:what you say is true. i really feel extremely painful of the fear that is I'm going true. I kept scratching my hands these few days and kept feeling like pulling my hair. I really cannot control my emotions. Sometimes, I kept crying at night these few days. Especially when I watched movie or show with these type of scene, i become heartbroken and very depressed. I don't know what is the right choice. Only knows that I cannot see a future with him and that I'm haunted by this whole incident.... -
sorry forget to add on dat if he's willing to settle down for u , u muz be glad and be willing to forgive and forget abt the hurtful thing he had done to u. forgive and forget will mean u dun even rake up the past ever again. only dat way can u be happy wif him.. juz some suggestion, take care!Originally posted by ~Lyn~:what you're feeling is perfectly normally.. but pls dun hurt urself any more.. stop scratching your hand or pulling your hair.. the thing is u still love him very much.same as my case.. when u are wif him there is great insecurity, without him, everything seemed meaningless..how abt talking to him? tell him how u feel and ask him whether he's willing to settle down.. u've known him for quite long so u shld be able to tell whether if he's telling the truth. if he cant settle down den i guess u haf to forget abt him. juz break up.. i dun wish u to be in my shoes, getting hurt again and again.. trust me when u divert ur attention on other stuff u'll be able to overcome the hurt.. u seemed to ba a nice gal so definitely you'll meet someone else.. it's juz a matter of time.. good luck and God bless. hope you'll feel better.. -
First of all, do not pressume that all guys are liddat as gals do 2-timing as well. Its somehow base on morality and how each of us goes thru which determines the way we behave.Originally posted by ~Lyn~:make a lot of sense.. are all guys lidat? want the best of both world even though they noe it wont last long? i had quite a few frens going thru dat and even i was once a victim..
musicbox..It's definitely sad and hard to accept. when he comes back to u(esp if he's the one you are deeply in love wif), it's a mixture of happiness, excitement and fear.. fear of bearing the pain to lose him again some day.. and the fear might turn out to be too unbearable dat u wish to juz break up and stop all the torment once and for all.. but juz think abt it seriously.. will u haf any regrets? if no juz say watever you had posted here.. i'll salute u as u had made a very brave decision.. it's not easy to gif up a long relationship and face the conequences.. i wasn't able to do it.. too tough for me.. no matter wat take care and be well! hope things will turn out fine!!
I personally do come across friends who 2-time 2 gals and got his retribution of getting terrible breakups and endless failed test.. which i was like.. "YeaaaHH~~"
Secondly, its mentally and morally WRONG to two times. Heard people saying, "if dun wanna play now, when old u dun even hav the charm ar", which to me seems very unconsiderate and descpicable. But den again, who can u blame? the 2 timing bastard or the sex in the city?
Lastly, no relationship is perfect and no human is perfect, but to let down a relationship, and he/she should not be left forgiven.
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It's not that you don't know the right choice. Deep down in your heart, you have already chosen one - that's to leave him. But knowing the shear pain you be going through and the path ahead without him, leaves hesitation and helpless feeling. These alone, coupled with the fact of him cheating on you, have already made you suffer terribly and lose your emotion balance, eventually leading to depression now. You have to know that he is not going to give you any happiness. Even if you want to go back to him, you will be going through a lot more even longer. Just to let you know. Can you take it?
With all these troubles, the most important thing now is not to make any decision yet. Take a break first. Tell him face-to-face about you wanting to cool-off.....Be FIRM about it.
That is to give yourself time to control and settle down your emotions first. Confide your feelings in someone, preferrably very close to you. Face-to-face confinement is better than through email or on forum. Go for a nice holiday trip or join some activities to prevent youself from depressing further or thinking too much.
Take your time to cool down, I guess by the time your emotions more or less settle down, you will be able to make your decision(whether to continue or to break) more firmly than now and with no REGRETS.
Take good care.