I Have Decided...
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This is a very good advice.. a clear-minded way of soving the prob..Originally posted by kaobeikaobu:It's not that you don't know the right choice. Deep down in your heart, you have already chosen one - that's to leave him. But knowing the shear pain you be going through and the path ahead without him, leaves hesitation and helpless feeling. These alone, coupled with the fact of him cheating on you, have already made you suffer terribly and lose your emotion balance, eventually leading to depression now. You have to know that he is not going to give you any happiness. Even if you want to go back to him, you will be going through a lot more even longer. Just to let you know. Can you take it?
With all these troubles, the most important thing now is not to make any decision yet. Take a break first. Tell him face-to-face about you wanting to cool-off.....Be FIRM about it.
That is to give yourself time to control and settle down your emotions first. Confide your feelings in someone, preferrably very close to you. Face-to-face confinement is better than through email or on forum. Go for a nice holiday trip or join some activities to prevent youself from depressing further or thinking too much.
Take your time to cool down, I guess by the time your emotions more or less settle down, you will be able to make your decision(whether to continue or to break) more firmly than now and with no REGRETS.
Take good care.
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I still cannot forget the whole incident. I used to wanting so much to marry him, be his good wife, take care of him, really to have a family with him. But now I can't see myself there anymore. Every now and then, I kept thinking that he might be with another woman. The trust is really broken and I thought time can heal the pain. But it didn'tOriginally posted by ~Lyn~:This is a very good advice.. a clear-minded way of soving the prob..
I initiated a break off last week and told him how I felt. His tears kept flowing down his cheek. He wanted to change. But I don't know whether we should continue or not as he might just want to be with me because he scared to be lonely and would break off with me for another woman when he found a better one. (This happened to my friend). He said we can apply for a flat two years later... I don't know why...I don't feel happy at all or excited about it. If he has said this to me before the affair, I tell you, I will surely have felt to be one of the most happiest woman alive. wahahhaahahah. And maybe he said this to just to prevent me from leaving him and not sincere in it at all.
I have heard a lot from friends or friends of theirs boyfriend/husband having affair..etc. I don't understand man at all. He maybe one of those cunning man who wanted to keep me by his side until he found his new target or he maybe really one of those man who really wanted to change and will be a great husband. I'm very confused!!! -
Well, time will tell. When he did such thing, you absolutely have the benefit of doubt over his promise to change and his sincerity. Let him know your troubles, doubts and confusion right now and y u are firm about cooling off first. If he forces you to make the decision now, well it seems quite obvious that he doesn't care about how you feel.Originally posted by musicbox:I still cannot forget the whole incident. I used to wanting so much to marry him, be his good wife, take care of him, really to have a family with him. But now I can't see myself there anymore. Every now and then, I kept thinking that he might be with another woman. The trust is really broken and I thought time can heal the pain. But it didn't
I initiated a break off last week and told him how I felt. His tears kept flowing down his cheek. He wanted to change. But I don't know whether we should continue or not as he might just want to be with me because he scared to be lonely and would break off with me for another woman when he found a better one. (This happened to my friend). He said we can apply for a flat two years later... I don't know why...I don't feel happy at all or excited about it. If he has said this to me before the affair, I tell you, I will surely have felt to be one of the most happiest woman alive. wahahhaahahah. And maybe he said this to just to prevent me from leaving him and not sincere in it at all.
I have heard a lot from friends or friends of theirs boyfriend/husband having affair..etc. I don't understand man at all. He maybe one of those cunning man who wanted to keep me by his side until he found his new target or he maybe really one of those man who really wanted to change and will be a great husband. I'm very confused!!!
Look it this way, cooling off doesn't mean not giving him an answer at all, but it's actually a time not only to give urself a well-deserved break, recover and think carefully, also his chance to prove himself otherwise.
Real love reveals through test of time. -
ya take time to cool off maybe the best remedy for now.. dun panic when u haf mixed feelings. it's natural cos no ones will want to get hurt twice. so uz cool down and time will allow u to get your thoughts right. but he teared sort of proved dat he really loves you? but do be prepared dat he may still repeat the mistake. it happened to me. right now it's best for u to cool off first. if only i had these advice back den i'll do the same.take care!Originally posted by kaobeikaobu:Well, time will tell. When he did such thing, you absolutely have the benefit of doubt over his promise to change and his sincerity. Let him know your troubles, doubts and confusion right now and y u are firm about cooling off first. If he forces you to make the decision now, well it seems quite obvious that he doesn't care about how you feel.
Look it this way, cooling off doesn't mean not giving him an answer at all, but it's actually a time not only to give urself a well-deserved break, recover and think carefully, also his chance to prove himself otherwise.
Real love reveals through test of time. -
I'm in the same condition as you....Originally posted by musicbox:I still cannot forget the whole incident. I used to wanting so much to marry him, be his good wife, take care of him, really to have a family with him. But now I can't see myself there anymore. Every now and then, I kept thinking that he might be with another woman. The trust is really broken and I thought time can heal the pain. But it didn't
I initiated a break off last week and told him how I felt. His tears kept flowing down his cheek. He wanted to change. But I don't know whether we should continue or not as he might just want to be with me because he scared to be lonely and would break off with me for another woman when he found a better one. (This happened to my friend). He said we can apply for a flat two years later... I don't know why...I don't feel happy at all or excited about it. If he has said this to me before the affair, I tell you, I will surely have felt to be one of the most happiest woman alive. wahahhaahahah. And maybe he said this to just to prevent me from leaving him and not sincere in it at all.
I have heard a lot from friends or friends of theirs boyfriend/husband having affair..etc. I don't understand man at all. He maybe one of those cunning man who wanted to keep me by his side until he found his new target or he maybe really one of those man who really wanted to change and will be a great husband. I'm very confused!!!
Here's my thread...
Just a bit different is that she initiated the break up..
http://www.sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=89937 -
2-timers are not worth the effort to get upset about. U should pity the girl he's with cos he might do the same thing again.