Am I giving in too much?
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I feel u shouldn't be paying her bills. Let her learn to manage her own money. Buying her gifts & paying for food, etc is ok when u are dating. Also when she ignores u, it is good to let her know u won't stand for bad attitude. Ask her what is wrong, talk it out. U can love someone very much but don't spoil them.
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DARK SKY...Originally posted by dirge:mmm, just had some thoughts today..why I would mind n angry? is it because I mind that she didn't reply me? If i don care bout it I wouldn't be angry right?
Shes a saggi..
I often think that our bickering is due to miscom, but sometimes, it gets bit way out of hand, so, getting real fedup, cold up appears. I find that if there's nothing much to talk on phone, so be it, just put down right? But she think like wise...
So what ya reckon now? -
if you think you giving in too much,
you are indeed giving in too much
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Then how about your own security? Do you earn alot or come from rich family?Originally posted by ahworm:err. can i write you a comment?
last time during poly days my gf also dun have much money with her. cos her bank book with her mom. then i also help her pay her hp bill etc. all with my pocket money. it all adds up to hundreds. i didn't go calculate exactly how much is it. i just feel i want to help her cos she's my dear dear..
now, she's working. she got her own income. but i didn't ask her to repay me the money. not even once. even now if she wants me to pay her hp bill, by all means i'll do it for her. not only these, i pay for all the food and expense when we go out. i just feel i want to treat her well. i want her to save up her earned money. just in case i'm not able to be with her in future, at least she has money with her(security). well i might spoilt her, but i dun want to regret why i dun treat her better when i lose her.
btw she and i are not married. -
Hmm...
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well, I just feel that, be it how many years together, esp so long together, we cannot take things n each other for granted... money issues too, is a very sensitive matter, both of us are working, and I have tell her how and advice on what to do, its only up to her to decide, since she hav e slightest idea where to start. Zi dong abit is what I expect, I not asking much right?
Anyway, sometimes I just don't feel appreciated, but she does love him, why?
Cox she don't show it out or say it out that I'm appreciated? Why can't she say a simple thank you...
there's this once I brought along a contact lens solution, I ask if can put her bag, since I don have a carrier. Instead of thankin me for bring e bottle, she give me those face "huh, I have to carry" sesh... -
I guess ur rite? I have been helping out too much tat she thinks is right and just liao...sigh.. but if I don help, who helps?Originally posted by gerrykoh:I feel u shouldn't be paying her bills. Let her learn to manage her own money. Buying her gifts & paying for food, etc is ok when u are dating. Also when she ignores u, it is good to let her know u won't stand for bad attitude. Ask her what is wrong, talk it out. U can love someone very much but don't spoil them.
Anyway, issue is slowly solving... -
May i ask how long u guys have been together?
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Hey u don't have to stand for bad behaviour. Tell her firmly how u want to be treated. Don't give in to her all the time.
Loving her doesn't mean u should be a pushover. Be in control. Don't always be there to do things for her. Let her learn. She will appreciate u more. -
True. But I dun think telling her "firmly" is good for anyone. More like telling her passionately. You noe, look into her eyes and say it passionate that kind of stuff...Originally posted by gerrykoh:Hey u don't have to stand for bad behaviour. Tell her firmly how u want to be treated. Don't give in to her all the time.
Loving her doesn't mean u should be a pushover. Be in control. Don't always be there to do things for her. Let her learn. She will appreciate u more.
Love is like a game of cat-and-mouse chasing game. You don't have to be the cat all the time. Or else you feel very tired in this relationship in this long run. -
Care to elaborate on that?Originally posted by dirge:I guess ur rite? I have been helping out too much tat she thinks is right and just liao...sigh.. but if I don help, who helps?
Anyway, issue is slowly solving... -
Well, she's startin to return me e money monthly..so I guess shold be ok now.Originally posted by Devil1976:Care to elaborate on that?
We haven met up after a small cold war, but we tok on the phone, however, it does seems abit strange right now after the cold war. Anyway, she's busy wif her work, so, make do on weekend perhaps..We been together for close to 6 yrs.. -
Your right on this and sometimes I think, must I leave to be for awhile so that she'll kinda learn how not to depend on me tat much. I told her before, she's slightly improving, but not to the extent of realy independent. She's a nice girl, but I guess all humans are not perfect.Originally posted by gerrykoh:Hey u don't have to stand for bad behaviour. Tell her firmly how u want to be treated. Don't give in to her all the time.
Loving her doesn't mean u should be a pushover. Be in control. Don't always be there to do things for her. Let her learn. She will appreciate u more. -
As much as I want, but I always believe it takes to clap, so I tried to tell her, but if she keeps want avoid or say "can don't say anymore I know I know" what do can I? I hope things will go back a couple of years, whereby things is so much simpler. I partly have some fault too, I insist on me being correct and too good with expressing meself with words, so she's kinda on lossing end...Originally posted by Eiizumi:True. But I dun think telling her "firmly" is good for anyone. More like telling her passionately. You noe, look into her eyes and say it passionate that kind of stuff...
Love is like a game of cat-and-mouse chasing game. You don't have to be the cat all the time. Or else you feel very tired in this relationship in this long run. -
Nice...Originally posted by dirge:As much as I want, but I always believe it takes to clap, so I tried to tell her, but if she keeps want avoid or say "can don't say anymore I know I know" what do can I? I hope things will go back a couple of years, whereby things is so much simpler. I partly have some fault too, I insist on me being correct and too good with expressing meself with words, so she's kinda on lossing end... -
why is it nice? Read on "thinkin too much" and I guess might have a better understanding of what is going thru me now... sigh...Originally posted by Devil1976:Nice...
till now, I can't realy have a good talk bout issues... but I can talk it out wif another friend... why? -
It's good to reflect on yourself to realise the complete picture and root(s) of the problem...Originally posted by dirge:why is it nice? Read on "thinkin too much" and I guess might have a better understanding of what is going thru me now... sigh...
till now, I can't realy have a good talk bout issues... but I can talk it out wif another friend... why?
Can't have a good talk with who? Her?
Your friend's not directly involved in the picture and is a totally different person.. Why not? -
errr, how much age difference in the 1st plc? well, some gals lik to be pampered, therefore she tend to ignore u n hope to get ur attention, however sometimes i thk she's abit too far, so i suggest u shld reflect by asking her NICELY y she dun feel lik replying u..blah blah..etc..as for the money problem, well u dun need to ask her back for $$$ but u can let her pay instead of u..coz wanting $$$ back is not very appropriate n cause hurting to her..sometimes u can let her buy n pay for her food..cannot always pampering her although u r a caring n thotful bf..if not she wil always rely on u n be a " dao xiao jie" forever..
if she stil ignore u, well, u can use sms or email, at least u can tell her all ur feelings..hopefully tis wil help u to solve ur problems soon -
sorry to say this, but i feel ur relationship is coming to an end, if:
1) she has been cold towards u for some time;
2) no longer has time for u, excuses such as working late, tired after work etc;
(u working too, right),
3) excuses herself to answer phone calls ( so u can't overhead).
most imptly, she is looking for a guy that can provide her financial supports. Hope i m wrong
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some girl like that 1..
they tot we cant live without her...so she talk nonsense lo... give u those fcuking faces...
when u ask why, they end up with; nothing...
dont be "heart melted" to a girl who treat u like toy..
talk to you when they bored...dont even bother you when they having fun..