How to deal with Roomie
-
I am just wondering if I am too sensitive. I have this roomie, she has been my roomie for two years now but recently I sense that she has sort of change. Like last time she used to be humble about her achievement and stuff, but now I feel like she sort of look down on me. Like some of you might know about my disastrous job interviews...she is like the opposite of me. She will just need to attend the interview and then straight away get the job already. No need to even wait for reply. One thing is she is so damn pretty so maybe that's the cause also la. Another thing is she is so smart, every sem also get straight As.
Then she will complain one whole night about getting a job...and I will be like...hallo? She is the one who wants to apply for al those jobs. And she never think about how I would feel when she goes on and on about how many jobs she has when she knows fully well how badly I fare in most interviews. And when I told her the only job I can get is with the dining hall, she laughed and asked if I am sure I wanted such a job. And then she would say her job would make her resume looks real good because she is a computer lab technician la, she is a librarian la and a tutor also.
I dunno how to deal with her anymore. We used to be really close together but now I just get irritated with her everytime she brought this kinda topic up. I have a feeling I might sort of 'explode' one day and then I would really argue with her and that wouldn't be nice since we have to stay together for at least another year. Anyone got any ideas how to deal with this?
i.c.y -
if u really cannot stand her already.. then move out lah... but i guess should be an misunderstanding lah.. so.... try suaning her lah.. like tell her in a joking way that... hey u got job and i dun.. u still kpkb why hurt mi how?? maybe she will get the hint and tone down one lah.... dun always have to use head to head way one....she chio so what...u must have confident in urself too... maybe she dun mean to be ya ya ing about her result.. but u just no confident so more sensitive and think she is....try try lah.. since u said u 2 used to be very close one.. sure got ways to settle it peacefully one right?
-
thanks for the advice. I tried suan her already but I think she dun get it. I said you already got a job what you so noisy about? Then she will keep quiet for a while and then continue to complain...*sigh*Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):if u really cannot stand her already.. then move out lah... but i guess should be an misunderstanding lah.. so.... try suaning her lah.. like tell her in a joking way that... hey u got job and i dun.. u still kpkb why hurt mi how?? maybe she will get the hint and tone down one lah.... dun always have to use head to head way one....she chio so what...u must have confident in urself too... maybe she dun mean to be ya ya ing about her result.. but u just no confident so more sensitive and think she is....try try lah.. since u said u 2 used to be very close one.. sure got ways to settle it peacefully one right?
i.c.y -
then u keep quiet for awhile...... then continue to suan her lah.. like.. "oei u complain so much..trying to suan and show off in front of mi isit??" see how her reaction lor... then know she really mean to suan u or not lor.Originally posted by icyprincess:thanks for the advice. I tried suan her already but I think she dun get it. I said you already got a job what you so noisy about? Then she will keep quiet for a while and then continue to complain...*sigh*
i.c.y
-
she is very sensitive oso one...if i say like dat sure she cold war wif me for one whole week...even more cham...Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):then u keep quiet for awhile...... then continue to suan her lah.. like.. "oei u complain so much..trying to suan and show off in front of mi isit??" see how her reaction lor... then know she really mean to suan u or not lor.
i.c.y -
but u already bei tehan her already right.. then cold war lor....at least let her know u mind what she is saying lah.. if she got brain and treasure ur frenship. she will know it's her fault what...Originally posted by icyprincess:she is very sensitive oso one...if i say like dat sure she cold war wif me for one whole week...even more cham...
i.c.y -
sumtimes i tink i m just plain jealous of her...Originally posted by I-like-flings(m):but u already bei tehan her already right.. then cold war lor....at least let her know u mind what she is saying lah.. if she got brain and treasure ur frenship. she will know it's her fault what...
i.c.y -
this is called "Time will reveal the true-color"Originally posted by icyprincess:I am just wondering if I am too sensitive. I have this roomie, she has been my roomie for two years now but recently I sense that she has sort of change. Like last time she used to be humble about her achievement and stuff, but now I feel like she sort of look down on me.
i.c.yThen she will complain one whole night about getting a job...and I will be like...hallo? She is the one who wants to apply for al those jobs. And she never think about how I would feel when she goes on and on about how many jobs she has when she knows fully well how badly I fare in most interviews. And when I told her the only job I can get is with the dining hall, she laughed and asked if I am sure I wanted such a job. And then she would say her job would make her resume looks real good because she is a computer lab technician la, she is a librarian la and a tutor also.
She is starting to be frank with you.I dunno how to deal with her anymore. We used to be really close together but now I just get irritated with her everytime she brought this kinda topic up. I have a feeling I might sort of 'explode' one day and then I would really argue with her and that wouldn't be nice since we have to stay together for at least another year. Anyone got any ideas how to deal with this?
Tell her how you feel about certain things. Because sometimes people don't think b4 they do, and they need others to tell them. Things isn't so bad actually. -
haha dun be lah.. she chio she smart is her problem.. why compare....jealous is no good ok... fren fren what.. u should be happy for her.....Originally posted by icyprincess:sumtimes i tink i m just plain jealous of her...
i.c.y u also not very ugly one lah... -
get used to it. I think beautiful people are like that one.Originally posted by icyprincess:sumtimes i tink i m just plain jealous of her...
i.c.y -
last time she was not like dat one...but now dunno why she becomes quite arrogant alreay...sum more evtime says she hates ppl who are arrogant..Originally posted by SnowFlag:get used to it. I think beautiful people are like that one.
i.c.y -
btw, r both of u also classmates?Originally posted by icyprincess:last time she was not like dat one...but now dunno why she becomes quite arrogant alreay...sum more evtime says she hates ppl who are arrogant..
i.c.y -
we are in the same college (Engineering) but not in the same class...not this sem anyway but last time i got some classes wif her...Originally posted by SnowFlag:btw, r both of u also classmates?
i.c.y -
actually, i kind of believe that when a person A hates person B for something, person A will unconsiously develop that something. For example if A hates B for being a show-off, as time passes, A will start to be a show-off unknownly.Originally posted by icyprincess:last time she was not like dat one...but now dunno why she becomes quite arrogant alreay...sum more evtime says she hates ppl who are arrogant..
i.c.y
maybe, wat i said got no logic, but this is the thing i observe from people in real life. -
So i think could be your friend hate arrogant ppl so much that your friend also becomes arrogantOriginally posted by SnowFlag:actually, i kind of believe that when a person A hates person B for something, person A will unconsiously develop that something. For example if A hates B for being a show-off, as time passes, A will start to be a show-off unknownly.
maybe, wat i said got no logic, but this is the thing i observe from people in real life. 
-
Learn not to be jealous. I guess beautiful people have it easy. Next time, tell her if she doesn't want the job, then recommend to u. Ask for her advice learn from her how to land that job
-
ask oledi lor...but she said she is just lucky la...and never tell me when got job opening one...Originally posted by gerrykoh:Learn not to be jealous. I guess beautiful people have it easy. Next time, tell her if she doesn't want the job, then recommend to u. Ask for her advice learn from her how to land that job
i.c.y -
If you think that you're mature enough to handle a straight conversation with her to make things better and she's mature enough to have it with, then by all means do so.. Though personally, I don't a good chance of that happening...Originally posted by icyprincess:I dunno how to deal with her anymore. We used to be really close together but now I just get irritated with her everytime she brought this kinda topic up. I have a feeling I might sort of 'explode' one day and then I would really argue with her and that wouldn't be nice since we have to stay together for at least another year. Anyone got any ideas how to deal with this?
i.c.y
Otherwise, you should allow conflicts with her by either minimising unneccesary conversations or even words that would trigger the other party off.. By doing such, both parties would usually have nothing to gain in the end... And it's cumulative... You say one thing, she say another... Both parties would have a part to play in the 'snowball flame'...
About moving out as suggested by other forumite.. I would only recommend and think of that as a last resort if things are really that bad.. Personally, I don't think you're really worst of things yet to push you for that option...
No matter how a person has changed or not change... You'll have to accept the fact that some people DO change... And understand that nobody's perfect... Sometimes a person's nasty side though might exist... But would take quite some 'triggering off' to see it... Go THINK about it...
-
Hi, from the above...I think it's a very clear cut. You see, as stated, both of you used to be close. The thing is.....you are starting to realise that she has excelled in areas which you think you are not comparable to her...e.g. looks, grades, interview techniques e.t.c. Well as time goes on..and these thoughts accumulates...you tend to start to become sensitive and 'angry' within yourself. You start to think why....why cant you be as good as her in those areas??Originally posted by icyprincess:I am just wondering if I am too sensitive. I have this roomie, she has been my roomie for two years now but recently I sense that she has sort of change. Like last time she used to be humble about her achievement and stuff, but now I feel like she sort of look down on me. Like some of you might know about my disastrous job interviews...she is like the opposite of me. She will just need to attend the interview and then straight away get the job already. No need to even wait for reply. One thing is she is so damn pretty so maybe that's the cause also la. Another thing is she is so smart, every sem also get straight As.
Then she will complain one whole night about getting a job...and I will be like...hallo? She is the one who wants to apply for al those jobs. And she never think about how I would feel when she goes on and on about how many jobs she has when she knows fully well how badly I fare in most interviews. And when I told her the only job I can get is with the dining hall, she laughed and asked if I am sure I wanted such a job. And then she would say her job would make her resume looks real good because she is a computer lab technician la, she is a librarian la and a tutor also.
I dunno how to deal with her anymore. We used to be really close together but now I just get irritated with her everytime she brought this kinda topic up. I have a feeling I might sort of 'explode' one day and then I would really argue with her and that wouldn't be nice since we have to stay together for at least another year. Anyone got any ideas how to deal with this?
i.c.y
Well...and when the above reaches its peak..you will start to be very sensitive...to whatever that person says......even though the words the person said doesnt really mean to 'hurt' you or 'show-off' to you...In the first place, this person MAY HAVE NEVER intend to hurt you from her action/words in anyway.
Thus what you should do is: Have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Do not be embarassed to tell her what you think....and ask her how she managed to excel in those areas. If she is your good friend, she will share it with you. And dont forget...you have other areas which may be better than her. So, treat each other as sisters, and reach a win-win situation. This is just a common misunderstanding. -
Thanks everyone for taking time to reply to my problem. I will take those advice to heart and maybe one day I will find a way to talk to her. But I think maybe she realize already that I don't like to hear her complaining about her job so she toned down a bit already yesterday.
i.c.y -
if u cant find a way, show her tis thread!Originally posted by icyprincess:Thanks everyone for taking time to reply to my problem. I will take those advice to heart and maybe one day I will find a way to talk to her. But I think maybe she realize already that I don't like to hear her complaining about her job so she toned down a bit already yesterday.
i.c.y -
later she will start a cold war a!Originally posted by DevilAngel77:if u cant find a way, show her tis thread!
nvm la...her bday tomolo...shud make her happy a bit today...hehe
i.c.y -
haha.. ok.. show her tis thread AFTER her bday!Originally posted by icyprincess:later she will start a cold war a!
nvm la...her bday tomolo...shud make her happy a bit today...hehe
i.c.y -
haha...later i fight wif her for one whole yea a..Originally posted by DevilAngel77:haha.. ok.. show her tis thread AFTER her bday!
i.c.y -
haha.. then she be happy again at her next bday... not a bad idea sia!Originally posted by icyprincess:haha...later i fight wif her for one whole yea a..
i.c.y