Dear Duffy:

Actually I din wanted to reply at all as this topic belongs to IcyBoi.
***

Your first marriage affects you tremendously and you know it. Like all other problems, I see issues during your BGR relationship with your ex-husband right into the day when you were proclaim man and woman during your first marriage. There are bound to be things that wasn't made right and your attitude towards love changed drastically with the fall of your once love.
A came when you needed to fill some form of void within your cracked emotional structure. He cannot commit and you as well - for a mutual benefit, you two came together.
Remember, its for benefit and not for love. I understand the thingy behind the pampering, yet you are not looking at his hefty cash.
Woman in their first love loved their lover, in all others, they loved love. (Pai seh, forced to use this again

) You enter the contract with the stated clauses, there is no way you could turn the table and alter it. Ironically, when you are tired of a relationship without commitment, you actually exercise subconscious reaction of a gf to a bf's flippant behavior.
Your turning point came when B arrived into your life. Your drained relationship eventually crave for some form of substantial stability, in which B showed the following qualities. You fell for him, not for the similiar reasons why you came together with A.

You showed terribly strong sign of delusion, probably the result of your failed marriage.
Originally posted by Duffy:
A was my first affair after my divorce... although i know he not gg to give me a future.. but hey.. heck care.. as long theres someone caring... why care abt future.. when future hurts too.. so i take it as it goes and enjoy every moment of it... now .. am not really the vixen here... A kept me in dark abt his marital status.. till i have to learn it from frens... so i just carry on acting dumb and be happy....

And this sign is demonstrated into the bonds between you and B. Remember Enron and how it got busted? Deception in relationship, regardless of how good intention you have, never fail the shatter and weaken bonds between one another. A man in love is able to accept you for who you are, but
rarely, he is able to accept conscious lies.
You wanna trust, yet you are working opposite of it. You want commitment, but on the other hand, you can't give. If you were to let your first marriage bring you down and let looming depression and negativity ruin you -
no man would be suitable for the issue doesn't lies with them, it lies with WHOM you chose to value-add into your love life. Think about it.

Cheers