Confused!! Please Help!
-
Originally posted by BaByBoY:Yes Devil,
Something needs to be done..
But the how and what is crucial.
I feel that the thread starter prob is HOW TO CONVINCE HER TO CHANGE MINDSET and SAVE HER
Is it still possible to change her fate from being a passive home breaker
yet still allow her to remain the same innocent mindset??
That's why I added a part on my first post - she can read all our post and slowly digest what she wants to implement.
P.S: Nobody can be innocent after series of challenges love brings on. You are way different since day one of your first gf and now - we all evolve gradually. How do you know you are saving her and not restricting lessons into her life like what her mum did?
Cheers -
Wow I don't even know either party but I already hate the supervisor. Maybe she should leave the company cos usually people who bully others get worse if the victim don't take any action.
-
Thx Yunhaier,
I know wat u mean now,
Like you`ve said, it once took me a while to make up my decision.
And i was blind to my friends` advice.
Thx for you enlightenment.
BaByBoY -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
Yes... right now we are still on observation mode... she has agree to not be so close to him...refuse to take his calls at night etc. Hopefully we are wrong on this one and she is right... That's why I added a part on my first post - she can read all our post and slowly digest what she wants to implement.
P.S: Nobody can be innocent after series of challenges love brings on. You are way different since day one of your first gf and now - we all evolve gradually. [b]How do you know you are saving her and not restricting lessons into her life like what her mum did?
Cheers[/b]
-
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
This is very true, That's why I added a part on my first post - she can read all our post and slowly digest what she wants to implement.
P.S: Nobody can be innocent after series of challenges love brings on. You are way different since day one of your first gf and now - we all evolve gradually. How do you know you are saving her and not restricting lessons into her life like what her mum did?
Cheers
by resticting her to fall..
there`ll be another `mum` created
so i guess if she`s unable to listen to her peers the best that can be done is to let her be..
somehow i just feel that the fall might be too big for her to handle if it ever happens
BaByBoY -
Originally posted by BaByBoY:This is very true,
by resticting her to fall..
there`ll be another `mum` created
so i guess if she`s unable to listen to her peers the best that can be done is to let her be..
somehow i just feel that the fall might be too big for her to handle if it ever happens
BaByBoY Yunhaier had no one previously - I was stabbed by reality, constricted by thoughts, shove to the mud by fate, slapped by outcome, gagged by decisions. My soul is screaming for answers and nobody could tell me anything other than 'Don't think so much lar.' Pieces by pieces, my flesh were ripped away from me. I finally realise it was needed to happen, so that my spirit will becomes invulnerable.
And I was very young when that happen.
P.S: What's a vampire? When you have died emotionally and returned - with your new found strength, effectively you are one. - Lord Kiyoshi Mikagami (CloUdiSm Remix III). I didn't became an undead overnight and certainly didn't choose to become one.
Cheers -
all we can do now and give her our silent support and let her know we are always here for her...Originally posted by BaByBoY:This is very true,
by resticting her to fall..
there`ll be another `mum` created
so i guess if she`s unable to listen to her peers the best that can be done is to let her be..
somehow i just feel that the fall might be too big for her to handle if it ever happens
BaByBoY -
To Chi & the fortunate girl who has such a great friend in you: It is easier to find a score of men wise enough to discover the truth than to find one intrepid enough, in the face of opposition, to stand up for it. ~A.A. Hodge
To Yunhaier, BBB & all here: No man was ever wise by chance. ~Seneca
Thanks for making the choice & reading your exchanges to one another was extremely enlightening.
Cheeerz to d spirit of great forum
somehow, I'm somewhat touched by what everyone has done, typed & thought through for an unknown stranger whom no one even knows (Except Chi)..
-
Originally posted by Chi:all we can do now and give her our silent support and let her know we are always here for her... You know what's the role of the people within the watch tower? They are to raise alarm to any enemies approaching within distance. They don't actually seige an attack on their own, But they will stand to join the ranks of those in battle later on.
***
Not 'silent support' - but conscious watchful eyes. She must understand that the friends will never mean ANY harm and when she start running towards you, you know the 'alarm has been raised' and you will gather to protect then. Trust me lar, the guy will not just give up plainly - this is when she will need you guys badly.
Cheers -
Originally posted by BaByBoY:Thx Yunhaier,
I know wat u mean now,
Like you`ve said, it once took me a while to make up my decision.
And i was blind to my friends` advice.
Thx for you enlightenment.
BaByBoY Of course, listening to friends can be both a good thing/bad thing. It depends on WHO your friend is.
P.S: Don't have to thank me, silly.
Cheers -
Err... I think nobody said anything about wanting her to remain her innocent mindset? Such things usually don't work collaterally...Originally posted by BaByBoY:Yes Devil,
Something needs to be done..
But the how and what is crucial.
I feel that the thread starter prob is HOW TO CONVINCE HER TO CHANGE MINDSET and SAVE HER
Is it still possible to change her fate from being a passive home breaker
yet still allow her to remain the same innocent mindset?? -
My guess is that she's in denial... Probably too 'weak' to handle many of the 'social situations' in life...Originally posted by Chi:Yes... right now we are still on observation mode... she has agree to not be so close to him...refuse to take his calls at night etc. Hopefully we are wrong on this one and she is right... -
Hmm... A vampire? INTERESTING... When a Devil meets a Vampire?Originally posted by Yunhaier: Yunhaier had no one previously - I was stabbed by reality, constricted by thoughts, shove to the mud by fate, slapped by outcome, gagged by decisions. My soul is screaming for answers and nobody could tell me anything other than 'Don't think so much lar.' Pieces by pieces, my flesh were ripped away from me. I finally realise it was needed to happen, so that my spirit will becomes invulnerable.
And I was very young when that happen.
P.S: What's a vampire? When you have died emotionally and returned - with your new found strength, effectively you are one. - Lord Kiyoshi Mikagami (CloUdiSm Remix III). I didn't became an undead overnight and certainly didn't choose to become one.
Cheers
Though you've got your relative point... My concern's more with BabyBoy's... Yes... The blow might be too BIG for her. And you'll have to understand. She's sort of 'deprived' of much social skills to begin with... It's a VERY RISKY BUSINESS...
Yun. Have to understand that not everybody gets to return as a vampire.. Or whatever... Some becomes monsters... Some just dead.
That's why AA's here..... -
Originally posted by Yunhaier:
GOOD POINT. You know what's the role of the people within the watch tower? They are to raise alarm to any enemies approaching within distance. They don't actually seige an attack on their own, But they will stand to join the ranks of those in battle later on.
***
Not 'silent support' - but conscious watchful eyes. She must understand that the friends will never mean ANY harm and when she start running towards you, you know the 'alarm has been raised' and you will gather to protect then. Trust me lar, [b]the guy will not just give up plainly - this is when she will need you guys badly.
Cheers [/b] -
Right now, she is asking us to lay off her for a while. Let her have some peace and quiet... she just wants to work and earn money for a course that she wants to attend and not think about other things...
-
Denial.Originally posted by Chi:Right now, she is asking us to lay off her for a while. Let her have some peace and quiet... she just wants to work and earn money for a course that she wants to attend and not think about other things...
Don't 'try to help'...
Just find ways of letting her have more exposure to the society... Like join us for outings or what...
If you're experiencing a STRONG BARRIER from her mum, let her know that her daughter's sort of in trouble and you all as friends are hoping to help her... If she's still gonna INSIST and DENY her daughter of that CHANCE... She's just digging her grave for her.... -
Her mum is an insurmountable obstacle to her. Her mum curfews her and the days she can go out is only sunday... She has argued with her mum many times about this and both of them broke down and cry. She loves her mother very much and to her, her mother is the closest family member. But whenever she tries to talk calmly to her mum, her mum would not listen. Her mum would say things like "you wanna go out be a ah lian ah?" "you go la go. best you go den dun return, i take it that i never gave birth to you!" ... She wants a little more freedom to go out with her friends, to be able to stay a little later into the night. She would call her to tell her where she is going, what time she be back. But her mum refuse to listen. And she is very sad because she dont want to disobey her, to make her angry, worried.. yet she yearns for freedom.. something that was taken away from her 7 years ago...Originally posted by Devil1976:Denial.
Don't 'try to help'...
Just find ways of letting her have more exposure to the society... Like join us for outings or what...
If you're experiencing a STRONG BARRIER from her mum, let her know that her daughter's sort of in trouble and you all as friends are hoping to help her... If she's still gonna INSIST and DENY her daughter of that CHANCE... She's just digging her grave for her....
She just told me she got nothing to look forward to anymore...she dreads going home, dreads going to work...she is breaking down...
-
REBEL.Originally posted by Chi:Her mum is an insurmountable obstacle to her. Her mum curfews her and the days she can go out is only sunday... She has argued with her mum many times about this and both of them broke down and cry. She loves her mother very much and to her, her mother is the closest family member. But whenever she tries to talk calmly to her mum, her mum would not listen. Her mum would say things like "you wanna go out be a ah lian ah?" "you go la go. best you go den dun return, i take it that i never gave birth to you!" ... She wants a little more freedom to go out with her friends, to be able to stay a little later into the night. She would call her to tell her where she is going, what time she be back. But her mum refuse to listen. And she is very sad because she dont want to disobey her, to make her angry, worried.. yet she yearns for freedom.. something that was taken away from her 7 years ago...
She just told me she got nothing to look forward to anymore...she dreads going home, dreads going to work...she is breaking down...
Such a move could be painful, but only the right choice. Sometimes things hurt, but don't mean that you're not gonna do it anyway?
Let her UNDERSTAND THIS....
It's either a short-term venture and pain to BREAK FREE...
OR an AWAITING TERM of BREAKDOWN LEADING to COUNTLESS OTHER PROBLEMS in the FUTURE.... By then, she would STILL HURT her mum anyway... Perhaps only WORSE...? -
sounds like my parents last time...Originally posted by Chi:Her mum is an insurmountable obstacle to her. Her mum curfews her and the days she can go out is only sunday... She has argued with her mum many times about this and both of them broke down and cry. She loves her mother very much and to her, her mother is the closest family member. But whenever she tries to talk calmly to her mum, her mum would not listen. Her mum would say things like "you wanna go out be a ah lian ah?" "you go la go. best you go den dun return, i take it that i never gave birth to you!" ... She wants a little more freedom to go out with her friends, to be able to stay a little later into the night. She would call her to tell her where she is going, what time she be back. But her mum refuse to listen. And she is very sad because she dont want to disobey her, to make her angry, worried.. yet she yearns for freedom.. something that was taken away from her 7 years ago...
She just told me she got nothing to look forward to anymore...she dreads going home, dreads going to work...she is breaking down...
sorry, devil....i dun support rebel...coz i had tt experience b4...
i tried all methods - rebel, argue, talked calmly...but all failed...felt y my frens had "better" parents who don't bother abt them...stay up late..go qiong....go chalet....free to go any where man....like siao gao...
till i realised its maturity tt they want to see...thru actions down to the tiniest details...they dun take words of rebel or calm words(to them, calm words worth few cents nia).
it takes time. as for the supervisor...as i said, she needs a new environment...
at least its a new step..b it small or big....step by step...step by step.... -
Originally posted by Devil1976:Hmm... A vampire? INTERESTING... When a Devil meets a Vampire?
Though you've got your relative point... My concern's more with BabyBoy's... Yes... The blow might be too BIG for her. And you'll have to understand. She's sort of 'deprived' of much social skills to begin with... It's a VERY RISKY BUSINESS...
Yun. Have to understand that not everybody gets to return as a vampire.. Or whatever... Some becomes monsters... Some just dead.
That's why AA's here..... Since time's beginning, humanity has spoken of the vampire - the undead, the demonic spirit embodied in human flesh. The corpse risen from its grave possessed of a burning hunger for warm blood. The dead cannot be killed, for its soul linger only to further certain ends. You can destroy a vampire's body, only to find new physical structure next. We call it Gaseous form escape. A vampire is different from a devil - retaining much of its human-like appearance and selected humanity.
A devil exist in everyone, like yin and yang. An ultimate truth. A vampire is created incidentally. The accursed one.
Cheers -
Hmm... Partial agreement with this. Have to depends on the case?Originally posted by kaobeikaobu:sounds like my parents last time...
sorry, devil....i dun support rebel...coz i had tt experience b4...
i tried all methods - rebel, argue, talked calmly...but all failed...felt y my frens had "better" parents who don't bother abt them...stay up late..go qiong....go chalet....free to go any where man....like siao gao...
till i realised its maturity tt they want to see...thru actions down to the tiniest details...they dun take words of rebel or calm words(to them, calm words worth few cents nia).
it takes time. as for the supervisor...as i said, she needs a new environment...
at least its a new step..b it small or big....step by step...step by step....
Like in this case, her mum seems to be overly using her authority... You have to start somewhere or at least a bit... Somehow I feel that it's already giving her much socialising problems... Not a case where she can just wait till her mum finds that she's mature enough? Control by parents is ok... But not OVERLY DONE.
And the immediate problem she's having here at her workplace. She could have just handled it like her supervisor is abusing his authority or be taking necessary precautions.. But seemingly she's just on a 'withdrawal mode'... Denial and pretends that nothing is happening...? Not a very smart move... Before I continue, I would just like to bring to note that the ROOT of her problem is her SOCIALISING SKILL and ABILITY to REACT in a SOCIETY. Her mum... She got to OVERCOME sooner or later.. Should she just wait for her mum to pass the green light? What if she don't? What if it's not in the near future...? Next point...
Changing the job won't solve the ROOT of her problem. The same thing can happen again... And perhaps other problems... The main chance would be to get her exposure and to OPEN her up...
It seems also quite unlikely that she would just give up the stability of her job like that... At least the $ is still important for her in terms of studies and such..?
Besides... She don't even seems convinced that there's a need to do so...
The main chance I'm betting on here is for her to be EXPOSED to the SOCIETY and LEARN for herself... Even if the REBEL is a 'failure'... Let her 'turn bad' if possible... At least her supervisor won't be touching her that easily... And as time goes on, it'll probably ACCELERATES her MATURITY...
Leaving her down there is just like putting a lamb on the mountains... Waiting to be eaten by a tiger.... -
Hmm... Actually... I don't know much about 'vampires'....Originally posted by Yunhaier: Since time's beginning, humanity has spoken of the vampire - the undead, the demonic spirit embodied in human flesh. The corpse risen from its grave possessed of a burning hunger for warm blood. The dead cannot be killed, for its soul linger only to further certain ends. You can destroy a vampire's body, only to find new physical structure next. We call it Gaseous form escape. A vampire is different from a devil - retaining much of its human-like appearance and selected humanity.
A devil exist in everyone, like yin and yang. An ultimate truth. A vampire is created incidentally. The accursed one.
Cheers
But what you've said about devil... Is... Somehow CORRECT...