What's wrong with me? No gal interested...
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hmmm.. i dunnoe, some people do find me cold and arrogant too.
bt be happy lo, dun try to please others, just be nice naturally. 
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Aiyah I was worse than u to the extent some gals sent me Valentine mails. It is not what u think but rather hates mails with messages like....."drop dead, you creep!". I was more into mechanicals......cars and aircraft and was pretty much in a world of my own. Only the closet of friends knew what I was talking about. Never bothered about what gals said or liked.Originally posted by m.c.king:Hey. I've a pretty serious problem. Seems like no matter what I do, gals are not a bit interested in me. So I'm a classic failure when it comes to dating and relationships.
You see, previously I was pretty much a recluse and introverted guy. I didn't talk much nor try to be prominent or outstanding hence no gal took note of me.
Then 3 years ago, I had a crush on a gal and things didn't work out. I analyzed what went wrong and why I liked her (she was the friendly and out-going sort but not exactly pretty either) and thought maybe my cold and reclusive personality is what turning people off. Hence I decided I need to change my public relation skills.
Therefore, I tried to be as friendly as possible to all my friends (male and female). I tried keeping in touch with them on regular basis when possible, sending them New Year and Christmas cards and popping them a hello instant message if they go online in ICQ or MSN, and trying to start casual conversations if they're not busy.
Still, everyone sounds very cold and uninterested even though I've already taken my first step to be more friendly and outgoing.
OK. Though not very handsome, but I'm not that horrible-looking either that I scare people off. I would put myself as an average or alightly-above average looking guy. And in terms of financial status, not rich but not in heavy debt either, so somewhere in the middle.
Now I don't know what I can do. What's wrong with me?
Was not interested in gals till I started work.....even in Uni I thought cars had more sex appeal than gals. I was very much a reclusive figure and I enjoyed it that way. Dun bother what the bullsghit rag and flag junk
Thought guys with flashy cars had it easy? Crap! I drove an Audi A6 2.8L turbo and gals still avoided me like I was some type of devil. It is really the frequency thing and I simply cannot make end of the things they blabbered about. In my mind I thought what was so great about girls that us guys had to initiate?
Anyways, it all changed when I met my Wifey when I started to work. For the first time I looked beyond cars....the attraction was more in terms of communication, frequency and yeap she is in good shape I was so amazed at her knowledge in cars.....later she confessed she used to sell Audis 
Apart from looks (let's not BS by saying looks not important), the most important thing was she understands me very well and can read me......that I appreciate.
So dude, there's is someone for everyone.....just be patient and when the right one comes along......whack all the way and be a little more assertive & thick-skinned yeah? It is important to find someone who can appreciate you for what you are. The ability to laugh at each other's jokes, communicate seamlessly without having to wracked your brains for topics to talk about....are positive signs that you should look out for.
Good luck and take it easy. I took it easy for 25 years then wham it just ignited from a month of knowing my wifey It has to be CHEMISTRY. -
wah.. saab95, u onli took 25 years... i took 30 years liow...
and yet to see the 1 month.. -
hmmm... i like xiao didi here.
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me too me too, actually girls want me..for a while, but then it eventually becomes they dun want me, and i dun know what's wrong too.
So just find new batches of people to go out with, people who don't know you, start fresh. If u've got the guts and the time, go for the outing thing -
m.c.king, i think you have a pretty classical problem.
it seems that everybody still HAS the mentality that you're introverted and recluse. it really helps if you "disappear" for a while without contacting everybody and after a long time just reappear, this will help "reset" their stubborn mentality towards you and they'll be more convinced that you have actually changed the next time you speak to them in a different tone.
always remember if you get a PROMINENT hint that somebody is uninterested, end the conversation immediately with a "gtg" or some believable excuse.
Never try too hard, it just looks..er..well. fake? -
Reading from ur original post,
Maybe u should try to find new friends, expand your social circle..
even ur present friends not responding too well, well, u cant blame them
cos' u r not closed to them in the first place ( as in connecting with them in a spiritual, mentally and emotionally)... but don't blame urself too much... u still can change urself... seek out 1 or 2 friend (i think a good one is better than many liao) who u can click with and most importantly u should feel comfortably with.... Generally, it take time...
Never give up hope... be confidence... girls will flock to guys with confidence... and confidence take time to build on one aso.... if u r not yandao, learn to dress up abit and build on ur own personality...
cheers n gd luck in ur voyage for lurve~ -
I think its fantastic that you have come to realise that you are on the reclusive side... changing your public relations skill is definately the way forward!
But bec you have always been quiet or even cold to you frens, suddenly you become more open doesnt mean that they know how to relate to you bec all they see is you trying to know them but honestly I'm not sure that they know you!
So instead of trying to open up to everyone all at the same time and thereby spreading yourself thin in terms of quality and quantity of time you have for each friend, choose which of your exisiting frens you really like to get to know and like to interact with and work on these few first... step by step you will gradually have more frens. otherwise, bec you have spread yourself/time/quality of interaction sooo thin, your friends will still not get a chance to know you and respond... they will remain cold unfortunately. -
i have a guy in my lecture whom i do not even noe
he just came and set next to me , when there are like so many empty seats
then rattle off , hi i am XXXXX , can we be friends ? blah blah blah
i see him , then ignored him -
it's coz it seems like he's "trying too hard" isn't it.Originally posted by shoutcast:i have a guy in my lecture whom i do not even noe
he just came and set next to me , when there are like so many empty seats
then rattle off , hi i am XXXXX , can we be friends ? blah blah blah
i see him , then ignored him
but why ignore him? he has not done anything bad to you, somemore come to talk to you, befriend you.
Do you already look down on him for some reason because he takes the initiative to talk to you? Does it make him look like he's desperate for some companionship?
For me, I don't enjoy being ignored. How about you?
He may not have good social skills, and the things he does might come across as "funny". Doesnt mean he's a lousy person, right or not?
He deserves more courteous treatment. -
my advise is get to know as many people as possible..there is nothing wrong wif u....Originally posted by m.c.king:Hey. I've a pretty serious problem. Seems like no matter what I do, gals are not a bit interested in me. So I'm a classic failure when it comes to dating and relationships.
You see, previously I was pretty much a recluse and introverted guy. I didn't talk much nor try to be prominent or outstanding hence no gal took note of me.
Then 3 years ago, I had a crush on a gal and things didn't work out. I analyzed what went wrong and why I liked her (she was the friendly and out-going sort but not exactly pretty either) and thought maybe my cold and reclusive personality is what turning people off. Hence I decided I need to change my public relation skills.
Therefore, I tried to be as friendly as possible to all my friends (male and female). I tried keeping in touch with them on regular basis when possible, sending them New Year and Christmas cards and popping them a hello instant message if they go online in ICQ or MSN, and trying to start casual conversations if they're not busy.
Still, everyone sounds very cold and uninterested even though I've already taken my first step to be more friendly and outgoing.
OK. Though not very handsome, but I'm not that horrible-looking either that I scare people off. I would put myself as an average or alightly-above average looking guy. And in terms of financial status, not rich but not in heavy debt either, so somewhere in the middle.
Now I don't know what I can do. What's wrong with me?
dun get so bothered with whether there are gals who r interested in u or not...u shud go out n socialise with the intention of making frends n not finding a gf....
a frend once told me "somewhere out there, there is someone who really loves u...just that he hasnt found u yet..."
i m still waiting.....