I got a problem
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Very tulanz with my friends
I put in effort in my studies, and some of the modules I got learn before in JC or secondary, thats why can score well.
Then when everyone wants to know how to do the problems or have difficulty understanding the subjects, they come to me and say "hello brother...!" and so on..and happily pass or score well for exams... Everytime my HP is full of messages for "Want to come study together?" or "Hey, tomorrow project meeting"
But outings or activities that time, all disappear in a flash..worse, everyone go outings during holidays I didnt even know...at least some people know but cant go...and I was left in the dark.
You see, its damn paiseh to ask them "Can I go outing?" and I am quite an introvert, so some activities I dont really enjoy. Its like begging them to even asking me to go outing.
I dont mind not going, but very tulan they treat me like some sort of "Shen". Come to me in times of troubles, pai pai pi ku run away when no need me liao..
I wont be so bothered if I am not even within their circle, meaning no communication at all, but damn tulanz when I am treated like this..
Kao Peh Lar! -
You see ar, in life ar, sometimes ar, its best to play stupid.
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yah, sha ren you sha fu..
but certain things cannot hide..like my test results..
Kao Peh Lar! -
You cannot fake results, but you can fake your personality.Originally posted by Prince of Kao Peh:yah, sha ren you sha fu..
but certain things cannot hide..like my test results..
Kao Peh Lar!
"That so and so so blur one, dun want lar, dun ask so and so to help lar." -
Originally posted by ditzy:You cannot fake results, but you can fake your personality.
"That so and so so blur one, dun want lar, dun ask so and so to help lar."
Personality is hard to fake too. -
Now too late, just want to escape from these friends.
Damn pek chek.
Kao Peh Lar! -
act blur, live longer...
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next time when they ask for help tell them all the wrong answers and then they will go away.Originally posted by Prince of Kao Peh:Very tulanz with my friends
I put in effort in my studies, and some of the modules I got learn before in JC or secondary, thats why can score well.
Then when everyone wants to know how to do the problems or have difficulty understanding the subjects, they come to me and say "hello brother...!" and so on..and happily pass or score well for exams... Everytime my HP is full of messages for "Want to come study together?" or "Hey, tomorrow project meeting"
But outings or activities that time, all disappear in a flash..worse, everyone go outings during holidays I didnt even know...at least some people know but cant go...and I was left in the dark.
You see, its damn paiseh to ask them "Can I go outing?" and I am quite an introvert, so some activities I dont really enjoy. Its like begging them to even asking me to go outing.
I dont mind not going, but very tulan they treat me like some sort of "Shen". Come to me in times of troubles, pai pai pi ku run away when no need me liao..
I wont be so bothered if I am not even within their circle, meaning no communication at all, but damn tulanz when I am treated like this..
Kao Peh Lar! -
Start off with slight selective memory.
"Huh? I don't remember leh? Got this work meh?"
"I dunno wor, I copy so and so one." -
At times I want to burst out at them
One time I sat around minding my own business, and they gossip, using nicknames they use to give to one another, even for those not present
Then they talked about something, and turn around asking me for my opinions. I wasnt even listening, and they said I must have heard something form the conversation and insist I comment.
I was like thinking "Hullo, I am not even within your social circle, gan ma ask me questions like this, and I dont even noe who the hell those nicks refers to."
Kao Peh Lar. -
If you really don't like, you can don't help...Originally posted by Prince of Kao Peh:yah, sha ren you sha fu..
but certain things cannot hide..like my test results..
Kao Peh Lar!
You DO have a CHOICE
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Originally posted by the.raven:next time when they ask for help tell them all the wrong answers and then they will go away.
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Do you have a choice? die die u also need to stick thru them for the rest of ur years in ur JC/Uni.. Is like that one. Why is it that there is always a saying.. True frens are hard to come by? Its because of such pple out there who are like that, thats why this phrase come in..Originally posted by Prince of Kao Peh:Very tulanz with my friends
I put in effort in my studies, and some of the modules I got learn before in JC or secondary, thats why can score well.
Then when everyone wants to know how to do the problems or have difficulty understanding the subjects, they come to me and say "hello brother...!" and so on..and happily pass or score well for exams... Everytime my HP is full of messages for "Want to come study together?" or "Hey, tomorrow project meeting"
But outings or activities that time, all disappear in a flash..worse, everyone go outings during holidays I didnt even know...at least some people know but cant go...and I was left in the dark.
You see, its damn paiseh to ask them "Can I go outing?" and I am quite an introvert, so some activities I dont really enjoy. Its like begging them to even asking me to go outing.
I dont mind not going, but very tulan they treat me like some sort of "Shen". Come to me in times of troubles, pai pai pi ku run away when no need me liao..
I wont be so bothered if I am not even within their circle, meaning no communication at all, but damn tulanz when I am treated like this..
Kao Peh Lar!
You may have you part to play when it comes to them asking you out.. They may have asked you out before but like you say, there are things which you don really enjoy when you are out with them, so they won ask u along again.. Don take these things so seriously.. U are kinda sensitive over it.. They may mean no harm.. What makes you think the others who did not go all noe abt it?
Cheer up dude, -
If its so easy..one wrong step and I will be ostracised for being selfish and unhelpful. And I will be stuck with them for some time.Originally posted by Devil1976:If you really don't like, you can don't help...
You DO have a CHOICE
I dont mind helping, just dont treat me like rubbish after exams over can liao.
The problem is not to beg to go outing, like I am desperate, but looking at this thing as a whole, its damn jialat being dumped after exams, like my value drop after exams.
And not just solely outings, even for chats and stuff too...
How can I be called a sensitive guy when this is done 'in your face'? -
I guess u are feeling that u have been taken advantage of.
Some people are selfish & not willing to share esp in JC/ U cos very competitive. U have to learn who are your true frens. Help only those who deserves it.
Widen yr circle & make more frens. U have to be more extrovert & pro-active. -
dun join their outings la... come sgforums's outings... this week alone gt at least 2 liao...
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I got lots of such friends, that comes and goes. when you are in trouble they disappear. When they need to make use of you, they will come flocking to you, they wouldn't ask you out for outings either. I have seen many in life. But learned to keep a lookout for those guys, when they need you just act blur or anything just say dun have.
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Sianz, now must learn to be like snake, to slither away.
Kao Peh Lar. -
i haf seen a couple... my only close fren forged himself with 2 other guys... after a little breakdown me and him had at irc... now he mails only to this grp of frens and not to me abt his stuff... where it use to be he always mails me b4 those guys come into the picture, cuz i could contribute sth to his stuff(work). i feel used sometimes but other times i try to forget it. its up to him to choose what frens he wants. i haf no regrets after all, i've already apologised to him after that fateful online incident.
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damn pek chek la
can understand how u feel but it's liddat one
aniwae, keep an eye out for those who take you for granted and if they ask you for anything again, just dun give em an easy and direct reply like be wishy-washy and uncertain of your answers and make em double guess your answers or u could make it a point nv to discuss school work outta class.
but it's quite sad if u kena stucked with this bunch of people and taking a wrong step is like asking to be ostracised.
if u realli want to go for an outing, be a bit more thicked skinned and ask the first few times and at the end of the day say "call me out for future outings pls thx!" or something along those lines.
After some time they should auto call u for it if u "behaved" properly during those outings. -
again, u have a choice...Originally posted by Prince of Kao Peh:Sianz, now must learn to be like snake, to slither away.
Kao Peh Lar.
walk away like lion and u will find the whole forest! -
Hello Mr KP,
There's a sayin dat goes: "kip ur frens close.....but kip ur enemies even closer....."
Dink it means u shud probably ask dem 4 a group hug lor....keke.... -
Originally posted by pipi & poot-poot:Hello Mr KP,
There's a sayin dat goes: "kip ur frens close.....but kip ur enemies even closer....."
Dink it means u shud probably ask dem 4 a group hug lor....keke.... 
Kao Peh Lar! -
Kau Bu lor....Originally posted by Prince of Kao Peh:
Kao Peh Lar! -
I remember I used to have fair weathered friends like this. I was dumb enough to help them out and in the end they did better than me and forgot about me somehow. When I was in uni ,I was a lil wiser....I don't really help anyone beyond lecture notes or tutor them unless they have proved to be true friends. People can call u selfish but ultimately they are actually competing against you. I basically kept quiet ...pretend I don't know anything and ,nobody except my real friends talked to me and asked me out. Those friends are still my friends today, we did well together and we kept in contact. Some of these friends have been there for me for 5 years already.
Perhaps ur helping the wrong people for the wrong reasons. Stop and observe who ur real friend is. It is selfish I know but that was how I survived in my workplace politics. I don't teach all that I know for self preservation purposes hence I am not expendable ......yet I work as part of a team by contributing knowledge that everyone knows and I never hesitate to claim credit for what I have done ...I don't let people claim my work as their own . My boss and workers call me a good team member because I seem to be contributing more than what I am contributing.
Probably u have to learn how to seem like ur helping but when ur not actually helping - i.e. not beyond ur class textbooks or notes.Keep ur private study notes to urself. Slowly these fair weather friends will back off once they find u cannot help them to achieve a result they are looking for.