Relationship problem, seriously need help
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she dun like that guy at the first place,Originally posted by amuletgurl:shIt
wat do u really want?u urself feel happy to break up a r/s??u love her that much is it? u want to marry her ar?
they are together because she thinks that the guy treat her very nice,
she thou as times goes by,she will be able to love him,
i want to marry her ar?
well if i can why not, it not easy to find someone that you love and can love you back the same way. -
normaly mothers like plants or flowers, u go plant a plant wit flowers give to her mum i am sure she will b touched
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then anna gt tell tis to her mum or nt..i am sure her mum will understandOriginally posted by Hitakogi:she dun like that guy at the first place,
they are together because she thinks that the guy treat her very nice,
she thou as times goes by,she will be able to love him,
i want to marry her ar?
well if i can why not, it not easy to find someone that you love and can love you back the same way. -
can i plz know ur age n hers too? i guess both of u r mature enuff to handle this small stuffOriginally posted by Hitakogi:she dun like that guy at the first place,
they are together because she thinks that the guy treat her very nice,
she thou as times goes by,she will be able to love him,
i want to marry her ar?
well if i can why not, it not easy to find someone that you love and can love you back the same way. -
Originally posted by Ah Ma:go find out wat her mum has long to have ?like anyting particular she like to eat? like to drink ? or like hobbies? like to watch tv dramas or wat? then meanwhile u dn appear in front of her mum first since she hate u so much...let her cool down first.buy tings for her mum lor bt dn say is u buy 1 she may tink wat u trying to do.."Por" her isit....then after sometime if she realise is u buy one she will b touched ba...
well her mums know that there was this guy that came into anna life,
but she dunno it was me.
anna can't bring any guy up the house beside her bf,
you see?
..arbo if anna gt speak gd of u in front of her mum will aso help...or if anna "hiam" abt ming like y she left him - the tings he lack compared to u..e.g ming does nt care abt her in wat ways wat ways?cos no one is perfect..confirm gt someting tat outshines u frm ming .... ...or u go attack anna father ..let her father agree u r gd in front of her mum... then slowly her mum will accept u liao.. -
the matter is small, but it consist of many people into the view which i dun get it,Originally posted by amuletgurl:can i plz know ur age n hers too? i guess both of u r mature enuff to handle this small stuff
F.Y.I we are both near the mid 20's -
Dear Hitakogi,Originally posted by Hitakogi:gal : Anna (her)
Exbf : Ming
2 months ago, i met a gal in a company function, her name is anna,
it was then i happen to know we be working together for quite sometime,
love bossom between us during that period,
at the time, she was attach, but because of me, she left Ming, but ming was unwilling to let go of her, cause he seriously love her alot, *they are together for 1 year*
soon me and anna was dating, we often went out despite of ming existence,
everything was quite fine until anna mum find out about it,
anna mum ask anna to give up on me and continue her relationship with ming,
anna have no choice because of her mum, she couldn't rebel against her cause anna mum got heart problems, she fear her mum may not be able to take it. she just can't let her mum down.
this is a summary of it,
under this situation,
what can i do?
i really love her alot and wish to be with her,
she share the same thoughts with me,
how can we make ming leave anna?
how to make anna mum accpt me?
is there anyway we can be together?
last i know its my fault that i start this,
but in relationship i believe there is no right or wrong.
can anyone here pls help,
i would deeply appreciate if there is anyone out here that can help me.
it is very sad to find out that,
two person are in love but can't be together,
relationship is 2 person thing,
but why does it always have to consider so many people inside the view..
pls help...
Is wrong for her to two-time despite Ming's existence.. And oso not right of you to step into this relationship without her ending the previous one first.. Ming and anna has been together for 1 year.. Consider long not long.. consider short not short.. over these 1 year.. Ming has loved her so much.. If this guy is so good.. then what's the reason of Anna's leaving?? Have you ever wonder?? Did she ever tell you that is becos ming is too good for her.. that she's not worthy of him?? Or becos of your appearance that she finds out that she no longer lover Ming??
You both dated out without even settling the current problems and jus shun it aside.. You think is fair to MIng?? Yes, you both may be truely in love with each other..but do oso consider ming's feelings.. His love for her is so deep.. ANd now you both are hurting him so much.. Love cannot be forced.. Everyone knows.. Anna's mum that side.. Leave it first.. Firstly, what you have to do is the three of you have to come out and talk about the situation happening now..
Anna is two-timing.. if she really loves you.. then end the r/s with ming.. though we know that ming will be deeply hurt.. but then again.. if she continue to two-time.. it will hurt not one.. but all three of you... You got to ask Anna who does she love.. She couldn;t decide back then is becos.. she's afraid of losing you and yet hurting ming.. But then again.. she has to make one choice.. Get all 3 out to talk.. ok.. Make it clear to everyone what's happening..
As for the mum.. She's afraid that Anna is two-timing.. and in the end she will lose both.. Then again.. Ask Anna to reaaure her mum that she will settle the problem between her and ming.. Anna should let her mum know how she feels towards you.. and the reasons why she wants to end the relationship with ming.. Tell her mum that this concerns Anna's happiness.. Let her choose the guy she wants.. She's big enough.. Yes, ming can be very caring and thoughtfull.. blah blah.. Be confidence and be true that you can do that too.. This is a promise made to her and to her mum.. You must remember this..
Slowly talked to her mum.. Ask Anna bring you home one day for dinner or wat.. and intro you to her mum.. Make sure you are true about yourself.. Let her know that you can take care of Anna too..
You ask why does you have to consider other people.. is not neccesary though.. for your case.. is not considering.. is to settle the current situation that's why people who are involved in this.. are being pulled in.. Firstly is ming.. end it fast if she really want to.. Don't drag too long!!! Secondly is her mum.. Mummy always afraid that their daughter might find someone bad or wat.. that's why they so kan cheong.. and would prefer her to stick to the previous bf.. instead of new one.. another thing is that they know this guy so well liao.. This is way you have to prove to them that you too can do it..
AFter all these.. is the world of you both liao..
Cheers..
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[quote]Originally posted by SunRisE:
[b]
Sunrise,
thx.. it been a great help, im feelign better now...
you tok some sense into me ... -
[quote]Originally posted by SunRisE:
[b]
there is something i forgot to add on,
her mums thinks that why she did was wronge,
she should have hurt ming like this,
that why she want her and ming to be together,
so what can i do about this? -
You're welcome.. I jus wan you both to solve the problems.. don't hurt anyone further.. this includes all three...Originally posted by Hitakogi:[quote]Originally posted by SunRisE:
Sunrise,
thx.. it been a great help, im feelign better now...
you tok some sense into me ...
there is something i forgot to add on,
her mums thinks that why she did was wronge,
she should have hurt ming like this,
that why she want her and ming to be together,
so what can i do about this?
You mean her mum thinks that what she did was wrong that she shouldn't hurt ming?? Well... she has to talk to her mum about this.. about the relationship with ming.. and the present one that is with you.. her mum must know that love cannot forced... This ain't the past where parents decide on who their child should married to.. Now is a different generation.. many have their own ways to do things.. and to love someone they loved and loved them too..
Tell her mum.. that if she insisted on 2 person who are not truely in love and forced them to be together will they both be happy ever?? Will they be able to give each other happiness...?? Many of the parents will compare themselves as a role model.. "See me and your dad also like that.. Feelings can developed over the years.." This is becos.. most of them havent even met each other b4.. is only on the date of marriage then they know who their partners are.. But now.. people will go for courtship.. if they know they arent suitable for each other.. why not try to let go.. this is the what you can give.. let them find their real happiness..
Holding on to someone whose heart no longer with you.. is so selfish.. Loving someone need not have to be with that someone..As long as he/she is happy.. you'll be glad too.. Anna must let her mum understands this.. Must learn to let go..
Cheers.. -
yup agree..Originally posted by Hitakogi:gal : Anna (her)
Exbf : Ming
2 months ago, i met a gal in a company function, her name is anna,
it was then i happen to know we be working together for quite sometime,
love bossom between us during that period,
at the time, she was attach, but because of me, she left Ming, but ming was unwilling to let go of her, cause he seriously love her alot, *they are together for 1 year*
soon me and anna was dating, we often went out despite of ming existence,
everything was quite fine until anna mum find out about it,
anna mum ask anna to give up on me and continue her relationship with ming,
anna have no choice because of her mum, she couldn't rebel against her cause anna mum got heart problems, she fear her mum may not be able to take it. she just can't let her mum down.
this is a summary of it,
under this situation,
what can i do?
i really love her alot and wish to be with her,
she share the same thoughts with me,
how can we make ming leave anna?
how to make anna mum accpt me?
is there anyway we can be together?
last i know its my fault that i start this,
but in relationship i believe there is no right or wrong.
can anyone here pls help,
i would deeply appreciate if there is anyone out here that can help me.
it is very sad to find out that,
two person are in love but can't be together,
relationship is 2 person thing,
but why does it always have to consider so many people inside the view..
pls help... -
several thoughts:Originally posted by Hitakogi:gal : Anna (her)
Exbf : Ming
2 months ago, i met a gal in a company function, her name is anna,
it was then i happen to know we be working together for quite sometime,
love bossom between us during that period,
at the time, she was attach, but because of me, she left Ming, but ming was unwilling to let go of her, cause he seriously love her alot, *they are together for 1 year*
soon me and anna was dating, we often went out despite of ming existence,
everything was quite fine until anna mum find out about it,
anna mum ask anna to give up on me and continue her relationship with ming,
anna have no choice because of her mum, she couldn't rebel against her cause anna mum got heart problems, she fear her mum may not be able to take it. she just can't let her mum down.
this is a summary of it,
under this situation,
what can i do?
i really love her alot and wish to be with her,
she share the same thoughts with me,
how can we make ming leave anna?
how to make anna mum accpt me?
is there anyway we can be together?
last i know its my fault that i start this,
but in relationship i believe there is no right or wrong.
can anyone here pls help,
i would deeply appreciate if there is anyone out here that can help me.
it is very sad to find out that,
two person are in love but can't be together,
relationship is 2 person thing,
but why does it always have to consider so many people inside the view..
pls help...
has anna and ming broke off "officially"? i think there is a need to close the loop, especially when it comes to relationships.
what are the reasons why anna's mum likes ming, and wants her to leave you and go back to him? how much does she know ming, and how much does she know you?
at this point in time, what is the status of your relationship? has anna decided once and for all to break up with you and go back to ming, in accordance to her mum's wishes?
and in all relationships, it takes two hands to clap. there is no one party who is right or wrong - most of the time. so there is no point in blaming yourself. love, as in all relationships, involve not only the 2 parties, but also the persons the 2 are involved in, because the 2 parties love and are loved by others, albeit in different forms. it is almost like politics - that of compromise and middle ground and common interest.
anyway what us outsiders can do are limited. we can only prompt you, so that things that may not have come to you can become clearer - dang ju ze mi, naturally. but you will have to find the answers yourself. in the end, relationships are matters of the heart. follow your heart, while taking your head's advice, and sticking to your values and principles. you won't go too far off this way. -
There is a time taxing way and there is another way.
Realise that her mom is a CB : cockblock
The time taxing way: buy her mom gifts, upgrade yourself, get into her good books, greet her, be very patient and persistent.
The other way: ignore her mom, be with the girl secretly, be the secret agent, the relationship becomes a lot more exciting and memorable.
either way, it shows that the girl does not love you deep enough. -
Originally posted by wuming78:thx for your reply,
i do need some answer,
several thoughts:
has anna and ming broke off "officially"? i think there is a need to close the loop, especially when it comes to relationships.
:they can't broke off officially cause the guy won't let go no matter what,
Anna at the same time also dun bare to hurt him cause he treat her so nice and she repay with hurt? .. the guy got support from anna mum at the same time, her mums thinks her doing is wrong, her mum thinks that he is the right man for her,
what are the reasons why anna's mum likes ming, and wants her to leave you and go back to him? how much does she know ming, and how much does she know you?
:thru out the one year relationship, the guy often went up her house,
her mum see how he treat her, ... now u see the picture?
at this point in time, what is the status of your relationship? has anna decided once and for all to break up with you and go back to ming, in accordance to her mum's wishes?
:she can't decide, she can't leave me, and i can't leave her also,
that why i'm at lost...
and in all relationships, it takes two hands to clap. there is no one party who is right or wrong - most of the time. so there is no point in blaming yourself. love, as in all relationships, involve not only the 2 parties, but also the persons the 2 are involved in, because the 2 parties love and are loved by others, albeit in different forms. it is almost like politics - that of compromise and middle ground and common interest.
anyway what us outsiders can do are limited. we can only prompt you, so that things that may not have come to you can become clearer - dang ju ze mi, naturally. but you will have to find the answers yourself. in the end, relationships are matters of the heart. follow your heart, while taking your head's advice, and sticking to your values and principles. you won't go too far off this way.
i fear she marry to the wrong man,...
its sad to know the person you love and u know he/she love you
but can't be together...
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you are not in her shoes, there are things which even me is unable to understand,Originally posted by lution:There is a time taxing way and there is another way.
Realise that her mom is a CB : cockblock
The time taxing way: buy her mom gifts, upgrade yourself, get into her good books, greet her, be very patient and persistent.
The other way: ignore her mom, be with the girl secretly, be the secret agent, the relationship becomes a lot more exciting and memorable.
either way, it shows that the girl does not love you deep enough.
sometime i know it take great courage to have this sort of understanding,
maybe love is such a powerful thing ...
it may be blind,
but its true,
it bring colours ..