I am very stressed up...how to change a lifestyle of a ger.
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I know this girl thru friendster..and subsequently, she chat with me on MSN.
She told me that she was a "bad" girl. Doing all those bad things that one can think of. But that doesnt affect me.
So one day i asked her for her contacts and i called her. At first she was very nice to me, talkin nicely to me. Slowly we begun to like grow feeling for me. Like if she go out, at night she will call me to tell me she's home and stuff.
From our conversation, i came to realise she is a constant smoker, take drugs before, and like CHIONG alot alot.
Well, of coz i ask her whether she like her lifestyle and she say yes. But she got consider to change it.
Slowly we chatted more and more often, almost every minute of the day.
One day i cant resist her "temptation" and ask her if she will wan to be my gf( Take note: i never met her before) and she agreed.
But the nightmare just begin. After being with her, i found out she very senstitve. Like i used to put my ex pic on friendster and forget to take it down and she be angry.
Den she even ask me to lend her money to pay her fone bill, saying that is her grandma who is payin her bill and her uncle want the money back.
She soundurgent and vexed, den suddenly she sms me saying that we not suited for each other. I called her back and found out she wanted to lend money from this guy, in return the guy doesnt wan money but wan her to be his stead.
OMG, i say this kind of guy only wan her body that is truth. Where will this guy like her. I cried, even before i met her. Haix..she was later touched by me and say she dun wan to lend from him le..but she still requested abit from me..
I lend her 100 and she still asked from that guy for 100. Although it was enough only to pay half of wat she owe, she was happy and we return to the joyful conversation. Anyway the hp was return to her uncle. So i only can contact her thru her house fone.
On the fourth day, i planned to meet her for the first time, coz i was workin and no time. So i wanted to meet her after work coz is friday. i told her the plan and she was happy. But only half an hour before i finished work..she said her uncle called again, demanding the other half of the bill.
This time i couldnt help her, so i ask her to lend from that guy but dun gif in the request. I tell her i will return the guy money when i got my pay.
So she say she go meet the guy first, den go uncle house den ask me to go home first. She say she will come my house later.
I stayed at office till 9pm (my workin hours end 7.30pm) and even took the bus home to pass away time. when i reached home it was 11 plus and she didnt call..so i called her hp thinkin she might answer..after 3 calls..still no answer..So i decided to try the public fone. And only one call she answered!
Oh god..i was furious and begun to shout at her for all the suspicious moment i had with her.
In the end she hung on me ...tellin me she die heart le...After that day, i still got contact her. She told me everytime she wan to devote herself to me, i will alway make her angry. haix...somehow i believe her words..
Then on sunday morning, she msg me askin me for another 100 to pay that guy coz she dun wan to be with him... After that she also say she need it by 10am..that time she first msg me was 7am...how on earth i going to get money..so i went askin ard...den she suddenly she say no need le..coz she no time...
in the end she was wif the guy, she sms sayin the guy give her 300 and no need her to return. But she got to be with him.
Haix...eventually i still managed to raise 300 and i went to her house... wanted to gif her but she not in..coz that time she say she at the guy's house.
i met up with her mom...she told me she used to be very nice girl, showed me her past picture...OMG she look so innocent and sporty..ws very tanned...den after a while...she return home...WOW, she was so white and her dressin ws so hot..so diff from her pic...she never saw me be4 so she say she dunno me...
but after a while...her temper show...she shouted at her mom, bang the door and stuff...i manage to cool her down and she tell me she is like tt...she say she wun change coz she still like to CHIONG and play...she dun wan to look for job...
I can understand her world and my is miles apart. But i wan the good for her...she even say she had lend the money from that guy and had to repay him by being with him. even i now gif her money the guy also dun wan...
I at a loss....i dunno how to change her ...i got a feelin deep inside her...she got this angel heart...trapped inside...she wan to become good on one side...the other side of her wan to chiong and clubbin...wat shld i do??
she alway claim i so nice to her and too good for her le...but she also say she die heart...but when i ask if next time in future i come find her...will she accept me...she will not gif a definite answer....i say gif her 2 year to change...she say maybe no need tt long...haix...but thinkin she had to do the biddin for this guy for juz 300 is way too much for me to handle...anyone got any idea how to help her??? -
and 1 more thing...i dun think she wanna cheat money from me...if not y she reject my help when i wanted to gif her 300 to repay that guy??
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aiyah....i belif this girl went to sleep with the guy liao....for me i'll give up lor...
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wtf... u should give her up lah.. i think she sleep with guys for money.. a leopard will never change its spots...
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u cant change a person unless the the person wan to change....
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but i feel is tt she had no choice...u know la...she lend money from some beng...and they wun wan u to return money tt sort of thing one...i really like her...after seein her...i can see the innocent self from her eyes....but i dunno why she juz refuse to changed....maybe her world is too polluted le..
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she needed the money to pay back her uncle, rite ?Originally posted by Match20:but i feel is tt she had no choice...u know la...she lend money from some beng...and they wun wan u to return money tt sort of thing one...i really like her...after seein her...i can see the innocent self from her eyes....but i dunno why she juz refuse to changed....maybe her world is too polluted le..
is her uncle that scary mah ? if she din pay in that time, he'd vanish her ? i think she had a choice. she could wait for u if she wanted to...
you cannot change a person unless she/he wants to, yes i do agree with that.
but if u wanna try, i think u can try to be her friend first, in this way dun expect her to return what you've given (i'm not talking abt. money here). make sure u can always be there when she needs you. and yes, u will hv many things to sacrifice, times, prob. money, and ur feeling. and yet, u still cannot expect that she's willing to be ur gf for all that u've done. you're trying to make her a better person not because you want her to be ur gf, rite ? -
When U want to lie to yourself...there is nothing much we can do for you.Originally posted by Match20:but i feel is tt she had no choice...u know la...she lend money from some beng...and they wun wan u to return money tt sort of thing one...i really like her...after seein her...i can see the innocent self from her eyes....but i dunno why she juz refuse to changed....maybe her world is too polluted le.. -
i think u are pitying her, not in love wf her... Dont get cheated! $ doesnt change a person.
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if i am not in love wif her...u think i be with her in first place??
sometime i also dun understand how i feel...i feel so useless...if i was able to lend her the whole lump sum in the first place...she wun have to be with tt guy... -
Not trying to sound too harsh here but unless the girl herslf is willing to change, I seriously doubt theres anything you can do to directly influence her. Personally I find it strange that a girl would allow her freedom to be controlled by just $300. Theres something strange going on, best you find out more before purging blindly into a mess.
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u siao already!!!Originally posted by Match20:but i feel is tt she had no choice...u know la...she lend money from some beng...and they wun wan u to return money tt sort of thing one...i really like her...after seein her...i can see the innocent self from her eyes....but i dunno why she juz refuse to changed....maybe her world is too polluted le..
too smitten by her looks liao!!
if a gal willing to get money for a relationship, there is no telling what she will do next.
what is innocence in her eyes.... yr eyes got stamps huh
ppl got choice on their own lifestyle, it is just whether they want to change it.
get a life, move on!!!
she not likely to be the one!!! -
I agree with you totally, 101%...Originally posted by pete98:Not trying to sound too harsh here but unless the girl herslf is willing to change, I seriously doubt theres anything you can do to directly influence her. Personally I find it strange that a girl would allow her freedom to be controlled by just $300. Theres something strange going on, best you find out more before purging blindly into a mess. -
All i can say is... you cannot force a person to change for you. You can only influence her so that she herself wants to change her lifestyle to make it more compatible with yours.
Only way that can happen is when she loves you and wants so bad for the both of you to be together that she will make the efforts to change herself, and it won't be easy. You can only do your best to be someone who can be loved.
rships are also about accomodating each other and meeting each other halfway. you also have to be willing to make changes in your own life to accomodate her in it.
only you will know whether there's any chance of this working out. -
haix....u never see her...she cant control her temper...and she is very fierce...somemore her parent very harsh on her too...
under such circumstances...i think any nice girl will wanna go outside and never return...but u never see the looks in her eyes...she was like ...wanna change her lifestyle but dunno how.. -
U only met her once n u called that love!!!Originally posted by Match20:if i am not in love wif her...u think i be with her in first place??
sometime i also dun understand how i feel...i feel so useless...if i was able to lend her the whole lump sum in the first place...she wun have to be with tt guy...
u really cannot make it.
even if u can lend her the whole lump sum, what is going to stop her from asking more n more!!
It is a bottomless pit!!!
u r just throwing money into the sea...
wake up yr ideas lah -
The first move is : Get her to find a job, earn her own income and pay off whatever debts she has. $ doesnt fall from the sky.
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OK..you go try to change her lor. and u do it now. wish u good luck then !
it's a good deed anyway. wants to make a better person.
i cannot say anything much to a person who's deeply in love. cos i might react the same also, refuse all the fact n believe only myself. -
For me, i would give her up. I am not tat patient to change her as changing a person requires a lot of time and patience.
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the problem is she say she wanna play...and tt mean going chiong...and she dun wan to work for money...haix...i can understand ....if someone willin to gif u money...den u feel indebt to him...haix..why tt person not me...if she indebt to me ....at least i will not take advantage of her..
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I agree its good to change a person for the better but please proceed with caution. It rather dangerous to judge a person personlity by physical appearance, limited knowledge and limited contacts. I use to be quite irrational too when I think I like some 1 but after 2 rejections later my passion have died down quite a bit.Originally posted by Maya061:OK..you go try to change her lor. and u do it now. wish u good luck then !
it's a good deed anyway. wants to make a better person.
i cannot say anything much to a person who's deeply in love. cos i might react the same also, refuse all the fact n believe only myself. -
that why i am here to ask ppl how to change her...i really at wits end...she now not at home...coz i jus called...and i worry abt her lor..
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She might be sleeping in someone's bed.. anyway... if this happen to me,, i will give her up. I dont want to be in this kind of troubles... dont even know who the baby's father will be.. if i am the parents, i will send her to girl's home.Originally posted by Match20:that why i am here to ask ppl how to change her...i really at wits end...she now not at home...coz i jus called...and i worry abt her lor..
If she dont even want to help herself, no one can...
There's nothing u can do..
If she really loves you, she will change for your sake... too bad....
From our point of views.. she's isnt serious in you!!!
Plse use your head to think abt it.. or get someone to knock your senses out.
Take care! -
haix....i know...but her parent say girl home even worse...coz all the bad eggs are inside..if she were to mix with them..she might get even worse...
U all r true....she not serious with me le..she told me she die heart and stuff like tt...but becoz i like her...i wan her to be good lor..
it pain me to see she like tt.. -
Originally posted by Match20:
You should have heeded the warning.
I know this girl thru friendster..and subsequently, she chat with me on MSN.
She told me that she was a "bad" girl. Doing all those bad things that one can think of. But that doesnt affect me.
Big mistake
So one day i asked her for her contacts and i called her. At first she was very nice to me, talkin nicely to me. Slowly we begun to like grow feeling for me. Like if she go out, at night she will call me to tell me she's home and stuff.
From our conversation, i came to realise she is a constant smoker, take drugs before, and like CHIONG alot alot.Well, of coz i ask her whether she like her lifestyle and she say yes. But she got consider to change it.Slowly we chatted more and more often, almost every minute of the day.One day i cant resist her "temptation" and ask her if she will wan to be my gf( Take note: i never met her before) and she agreed.
Now you really know it is a big mistake. If you don't see it, you are truly blinded my friend.
But the nightmare just begin. After being with her, i found out she very senstitve. Like i used to put my ex pic on friendster and forget to take it down and she be angry.
Den she even ask me to lend her money to pay her fone bill, saying that is her grandma who is payin her bill and her uncle want the money back.
She soundurgent and vexed, den suddenly she sms me saying that we not suited for each other. I called her back and found out she wanted to lend money from this guy, in return the guy doesnt wan money but wan her to be his stead.
OMG, i say this kind of guy only wan her body that is truth. Where will this guy like her. I cried, even before i met her. Haix..she was later touched by me and say she dun wan to lend from him le..but she still requested abit from me..
I lend her 100 and she still asked from that guy for 100. Although it was enough only to pay half of wat she owe, she was happy and we return to the joyful conversation. Anyway the hp was return to her uncle. So i only can contact her thru her house fone.
On the fourth day, i planned to meet her for the first time, coz i was workin and no time. So i wanted to meet her after work coz is friday. i told her the plan and she was happy. But only half an hour before i finished work..she said her uncle called again, demanding the other half of the bill.
This time i couldnt help her, so i ask her to lend from that guy but dun gif in the request. I tell her i will return the guy money when i got my pay.
So she say she go meet the guy first, den go uncle house den ask me to go home first. She say she will come my house later.
I stayed at office till 9pm (my workin hours end 7.30pm) and even took the bus home to pass away time. when i reached home it was 11 plus and she didnt call..so i called her hp thinkin she might answer..after 3 calls..still no answer..So i decided to try the public fone. And only one call she answered!
Oh god..i was furious and begun to shout at her for all the suspicious moment i had with her.
In the end she hung on me ...tellin me she die heart le...After that day, i still got contact her. She told me everytime she wan to devote herself to me, i will alway make her angry. haix...somehow i believe her words..
Sounds more like a social escort or a prostitute .
Then on sunday morning, she msg me askin me for another 100 to pay that guy coz she dun wan to be with him... After that she also say she need it by 10am..that time she first msg me was 7am...how on earth i going to get money..so i went askin ard...den she suddenly she say no need le..coz she no time...
in the end she was wif the guy, she sms sayin the guy give her 300 and no need her to return. But she got to be with him.
Haix...eventually i still managed to raise 300 and i went to her house... wanted to gif her but she not in..coz that time she say she at the guy's house.
Even her mom confirmed ur mistake. The guy already paid her...he doesn't want a refund. He wants the GOODs
i met up with her mom...she told me she used to be very nice girl, showed me her past picture...OMG she look so innocent and sporty..ws very tanned...den after a while...she return home...WOW, she was so white and her dressin ws so hot..so diff from her pic...she never saw me be4 so she say she dunno me...
but after a while...her temper show...she shouted at her mom, bang the door and stuff...i manage to cool her down and she tell me she is like tt...she say she wun change coz she still like to CHIONG and play...she dun wan to look for job...
I can understand her world and my is miles apart. But i wan the good for her...she even say she had lend the money from that guy and had to repay him by being with him. even i now gif her money the guy also dun wan...
You must be seriously deluded. She has manipulated you badly ,played you for a fool and you still think you can help her? Don't waste your time and money on her. Don't even think of getting together with her unless you want a very bitter taste of a truly 100% pure manipulative relationship.
I at a loss....i dunno how to change her ...i got a feelin deep inside her...she got this angel heart...trapped inside...she wan to become good on one side...the other side of her wan to chiong and clubbin...wat shld i do??
she alway claim i so nice to her and too good for her le...but she also say she die heart...but when i ask if next time in future i come find her...will she accept me...she will not gif a definite answer....i say gif her 2 year to change...she say maybe no need tt long...haix...but thinkin she had to do the biddin for this guy for juz 300 is way too much for me to handle...anyone got any idea how to help her??
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Look unless you want to be sucked into the world of her intrigues, schemes and betrayal , go ahead and try to help her. But take it from me, it is going to make you a very miserable miserable guy and it will change everything . This girl is a leech and you are asking to be sucked out of your blood