Nice guys finish last ??
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Cut the CRAPS. Just tell us more about the 4 unattached girls?Originally posted by Nelstar:Amongst the girls that were attached for my primary school friends.
one (similar to FI in terms of attitude) her bf has a bike, but actually is a friendly and nice guy...
one very demure, her bf is a nice guy... not really that playful..
one with a Norwegian, but the norwegian is extremely friendly and polite it gives me the creeps.
another 4 still unattached.
As for guys...
The 'Bad' boys are all unattached. One is even very handsome and fit.
Are you sure that formula works for all? No, no. I think it does not work for my primary school classmates.
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Originally posted by Devil1976:Cut the CRAPS. Just tell us more about the 4 unattached girls? "
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wow was sieving through this thread... eeeewww so much puke everywhere! how come the guys here all covered in puke?? cannot recognise anyone at all??
What a confusing thread... see if I can understand what you guys are saying that there are essentially 2 types of guys = NICE jerks and nice JERKS.
but errr just a small little point... how come both types of guys, no matter whether real real nice or not, are also jerks???
Geeee looks like there are no such thing as nice guys after all only jerks!!! hahaha -
I think its a little unfair both ways...
A nice guy is still human and like all humans in particularly the MALE spieces he is far from perfect.
But I think the reason why he is considered nice is bec he tries his best to do right and do good as often as he can! Of cos he will still have thorns and hooks and stuff. But his flaws should not detrack from the fact that he is basically nice.
But there in lies the problem too, bec he is perceived to be nice, the hoop in which he has to jump through is unfairly set higher! When the expectations are not met he is a jerk in disguise!
About a jerk who is nice... pretending to be a jerk is really a jerk-y way of behaving! but seriously but therein also lies the problem, whether he is pretending to be a jerk or not the fact remains that the hoop would automatically be lowered for him... he seems to be able to cross them quite easily even with simple simple acts of kindness which is treated like Wow! and as such, they appear to become nice guys on the inside! Now if the nice guy did the same simple simple kind act the treatment will be like "ya so ... nothing to shout about waat!"
Its a unconscious perception thing that we all do, we attribute different levels of expectation to different people.
Now if there is a way to objectively weigh the amount of niceness in a person I think this will be the result..
A = 60% nice (a Nice guy)
B = 60% nice (a Jerk)
The rating is given for doing something normally achievable by everyone somehting easy and nice nothing unsual
But in this analysis buess what happens??? A Will be known as the nice JERK while B will be the NICE jerk. Why does B come across as the "angel" in this side by side comparision when A did the same act of niceness and kindness??
bec we guage everything in a relative sense! A will somehow or other never seem as nice or be valued as worthy as B simply bec the hoops are set higher for him to jump than that set for B! In A's case, he will be perceived as being 40% short of 100% nice so he is a JERK bec he is not 100% nice. Whereas B he is 60% over the 0 jerk factor so he is Wow such a NICE jerk bec he is +60% from 0!.
Honestly, all guys are jerks just as all girls are b-tches... only difference is some tries to be nice as often as they can be while others dont even try!
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about the "different levels"...
people remember the things that stand out...
so a nice guy does his best and is good all the time... the one time that stands out is the one time he screws up... and the girl remembers that screw-up forgetting the rest of the goodness that he essentially is..
so she leaves him and cries bitterly that he has screwed up and is unworthy of her...
and a jerk... he's essentially one HUGE screw-up... so his terrible behaviour is forgotten as people are desensitised to it... he does one tender loving thing... which is out of the ordinary... and his girl REMEMBERS that ONE THING..
so she sticks with him because she remembers that ONE THING and will stand by him even when he's a total asswipe to her most of the time...
what gives??
ladies, think about it... -
I think this question is very subjective, some gals would like nice guys, some will go head overs heels with so called jerks. I believed a person will change over time. Those in their teens would prefer the wilder jerks who would add spice to their life, as one matures, one would prefer more security, thus choosing the nice guy. Not everyone is like this of course. I think a man with a mixture of both is the best. Nice guys are mostly seen as boring and they usually sit one corner and hope to be seen (introverts) while wilder guys attracts attention and always in the limelight (extroverts). Of course, this is a generalisation. Not every one is like this.
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Bloody AYE!!Originally posted by A Beautiful Mind:When i say "Nice guy always lose out to jerks" , i dun mean those that print 'nice guys' on their forehead or those jerks pretending to be nice..
What i mean are those rely good at heart, but maybe less expressive, less outspoken ones.
But frm what u have said, guess it jus proves my point
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Sorry i define short term mode as in teenage years.. not primary years.Originally posted by Nelstar:Amongst the girls that were attached for my primary school friends.
one (similar to FI in terms of attitude) her bf has a bike, but actually is a friendly and nice guy...
one very demure, her bf is a nice guy... not really that playful..
one with a Norwegian, but the norwegian is extremely friendly and polite it gives me the creeps.
another 4 still unattached.
As for guys...
The 'Bad' boys are all unattached. One is even very handsome and fit.
Are you sure that formula works for all? No, no. I think it does not work for my primary school classmates.
Coz in primary years, girls, like boys are conditioned to be attracted to people who say "thank you very much"
"Yes please"
"No thank you"
"May i sit here?"
and other weird-creepy statements (we find are in teens) when it comes to peer bonding.. thanks to the CME programme, making NICE NICE people which are dull.. to girls dat is.
I am only saying what i have confirmed from some gal friends, and from what i see. -
Yes interesting point brought about by Bear.Originally posted by the Bear:about the "different levels"...
people remember the things that stand out...
so a nice guy does his best and is good all the time... the one time that stands out is the one time he screws up... and the girl remembers that screw-up forgetting the rest of the goodness that he essentially is..
so she leaves him and cries bitterly that he has screwed up and is unworthy of her...
and a jerk... he's essentially one HUGE screw-up... so his terrible behaviour is forgotten as people are desensitised to it... he does one tender loving thing... which is out of the ordinary... and his girl REMEMBERS that ONE THING..
so she sticks with him because she remembers that ONE THING and will stand by him even when he's a total asswipe to her most of the time...
what gives??
ladies, think about it...
*clapS*
will add that to my book
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hehe! My analysis says the same thingOriginally posted by alienated:I think this question is very subjective, some gals would like nice guys, some will go head overs heels with so called jerks. I believed a person will change over time. Those in their teens would prefer the wilder jerks who would add spice to their life, as one matures, one would prefer more security, thus choosing the nice guy. Not everyone is like this of course. I think a man with a mixture of both is the best. Nice guys are mostly seen as boring and they usually sit one corner and hope to be seen (introverts) while wilder guys attracts attention and always in the limelight (extroverts). Of course, this is a generalisation. Not every one is like this. only i am more "CHEEM" wahahaha!
But what about nice girls vs bad girls???? -
i m quite an actor bcos i nice guy...haha.
ya nice guy can b very dangerous...after my 1st breakup i became very nasty to my ex.now no more le.we still frenz. den my 2nd n 3rd ex i oso no more nasty with them after break. juz ...wan break...ok lor break lor... -
Hmmm which is hader? Nice guys trying to be like jerks or jerks trying to be? nice
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Whichever way is hard, the easiest way is to be yourself.Originally posted by pete98:Hmmm which is hader? Nice guys trying to be like jerks or jerks trying to be? nice
Life is already not easy by itself, why make it difficult. -
Haha so being "ourselves" does that mean we are nice guys?Originally posted by Blueskyz:Whichever way is hard, the easiest way is to be yourself.
Life is already not easy by itself, why make it difficult.
On average.. because we live and have been raised in a society that puts high emphasis on being NICE, we are bound to end up being NICE guys even if we are ourselves no?
rofl. -
Aiyeah, this topic will alwaz be on people's minds one lah... It will constantly be the hottest debate of the century.
Jerks, nice guys, nice jerks, bad guys... I'm confused!
Just be urself, make ur girl feel special. Jerks seem more attractive cause they are naturally more confident and brashing, they dare to say and do things which thrill and attack a spot in a girl which they are weak in. It makes them dizzy cause they get a treatment they dun get everyday. In simplest essence, Be different, make women feel like a million bucks.
I used to be damn guai n nerdy lah. But i improved my communication alot and learnt to be more confident n less inhibited. I learn the hard way to look at a girl and pick up body language signs and play psychological warfare. I dun claim to be an expert, but I've improved alot cause it has helped me alot in my work and studies now. Being an effective communicator is very important and helps you get ahead not only socially but also in career sense and life in general.
I'll say that i used to date girls by being nice and take it easy, slowly, passive style, guai. I think i'm nice inherently, but there's only one problem! I'm boring! Girls... They want to feel special, they want that once-in-a-while different treament, be it baddie treatment, it's funny.. being nice alwaz doesnt' work cause it's constant treatment and being constant means what? Boring! I would go up to my girl and whisper in her ear that she looks attractive, or sexy. Do things which are out of the norm. Drop a gift etc.
N i'll tell u that you can look an average joe and still snag a lovely loooking great babe. Seduction is not about looks. It's all in the mind, how u make your lady feel special, wanted, loved. Looks can only entice and attract so much. The mouth is very important in seduction too (Er... in terms of speaking honey coated words? ) You must also look at in terms of what time frame the girl is, is she looking for fun, financial security, sex, wholesome love? Get it rite!
I had to learn alot in life to reach my stage and i'm still improving. But i'll tell u all that ultimately u have to be nice inside as girls will know. And girls u really love are the ones u want to have a long term r/s with, not ONS. I used to be a sci nerd n hated literature. I forced myself to indulge and appreciate the finer arts of literature. Romeo & Juliet, The 12 vols of The History of my Life by Giacomo Casanova, the Seducer's Diary by Soren Kiekegaard, The art of Seduction by Robert Greene and many more.
Ultimately, there's no discussion of jerk or Mr Nice Guy, it's about making women feel special that will draw them to you. They like to be talked in a certain way, touched in a certain way at a CERTAIN time... haha... Respect these beautiful creatures! This is called wholesome emotional development!
Take care all! The world of Love is fantastic! =) -
so we've gotta read lots of romeo and juliet and REHEARSE the lines to girls in order to get girls,. is that it??? Is that how u got girls by reading shakespeare?? Shit i gotta try that.
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haha... no man. Anyway, i dun go n get girls juz cause I read lit more. It's just a finer appreciation of a refined art.Originally posted by men_@_arms:so we've gotta read lots of romeo and juliet and REHEARSE the lines to girls in order to get girls,. is that it??? Is that how u got girls by reading shakespeare?? Shit i gotta try that.
The purpose of reading such books is not to rehearse lines n sound like a robot. On the contrary, it's more to understand the psychological workings of women and how they vary slightly from the Victorian ages, early ages, to present times. Women still are basically women in general and how they display the signs of flirtation like how they move their arms, hair, their eyes. The power of body language. Reading such books refined your inner senses and understand and feel women better.
But of course being overtly friendly and ON with the girl too early is bad with some girls, U'll be branded a buaya and that's it man. Ultimately, be urself... Be sincerely nice and real, girls appreciate that ultimately in the long run. Key is to be a hybrid of a nice guy and jerk, so NICE JERK? haha! -
Kinda true...U gotta be the bad ass..
Hahaha -
interestingOriginally posted by the Bear:about the "different levels"...
people remember the things that stand out...
so a nice guy does his best and is good all the time... the one time that stands out is the one time he screws up... and the girl remembers that screw-up forgetting the rest of the goodness that he essentially is..
so she leaves him and cries bitterly that he has screwed up and is unworthy of her...
and a jerk... he's essentially one HUGE screw-up... so his terrible behaviour is forgotten as people are desensitised to it... he does one tender loving thing... which is out of the ordinary... and his girl REMEMBERS that ONE THING..
so she sticks with him because she remembers that ONE THING and will stand by him even when he's a total asswipe to her most of the time...
what gives??
ladies, think about it... and very well-said.
i must say i agree totally with this.
i.c.y -
well.. doesnt sound entirely true..
but being in this cruel society.. it kinda become reality... -
not all ladies are attracted to bad boys, some likes the shy ones..
which are harder to find for you, ladies?? -
So with all these infinite posibilities of being naughty and nice. It seems more worth a guy's while to be A JERK, or a NICE JERK, or a BAD ASS guy rather than a NICE demure kind of guy?
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Yep looks like many many girls out there like the M&S style of love.. if it dont hurt it aint love... so looks like I'll have to change the way I behave too.Originally posted by men_@_arms:So with all these infinite posibilities of being naughty and nice. It seems more worth a guy's while to be A JERK, or a NICE JERK, or a BAD ASS guy rather than a NICE demure kind of guy?
One friend said.. if you treat a girl nice she will leave you. If you treat her bad, she will cling on to you... hahaha how true! -
HAHAHA hear hear! We're WITH YOU!! YARRRGHHH *draws sword*Originally posted by supercharger:Yep looks like many many girls out there like the M&S style of love.. if it dont hurt it aint love... so looks like I'll have to change the way I behave too.
One friend said.. if you treat a girl nice she will leave you. If you treat her bad, she will cling on to you... hahaha how true! -
how are the shy people gonna make themselves known?Originally posted by OrneryBoy:not all ladies are attracted to bad boys, some likes the shy ones..
which are harder to find for you, ladies??