tell me a reason to continue living...
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all the best to you...Originally posted by freshbreezes:
thanks Hazel for your concern n kind help . i'll try n let u know whether i can be help! one last time! i'm going to try one last time.
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i understand your plight as well as thoisand of people with suicidal thoughts.
First thing to do is to tackle your brain. Human brain , though ingenious in some way, is actually also a very stupid device because it is not able to analyse things properly with all kinds of emotions, random thoughts running here and there.
the solution?
treat your brain, your mind and body like a rubbish bin. After so many years of living in this planet, you probably have learn many things. But at the same time, you have also learn many many wrong things. so you have a lot of rubbish in you now.
so what?
with all this rubbish inside you. there is no way you can stragihten your thoughts and convince yourself to lremove suicidal thoguts.
remedy.
like computer game, restart your brain and emotion to 0. the essence is to unlearn all the things. how to unlearn? you have to revisit all your beliefs and question its validilty.
the above is a tedious and daunting tasks. but the rewards are great so you have to do it. but lets talk about what you can do in the short run to salvage yourself.
quick and easy method.
this is my theory and i hope it is applicable in your case.
you need to remeber only 2 things. you can forget anything and everything but not this 2. i call it BC. you can rename it as you like.
B stands for your body status. a lot of time, people translate their body unconfort like stomach ache, headache, into the situation they are in, thinking that the problem is very frustrating. the next morning, they wake up, as their body recovers, the problem that was bothering them yesterday also dissapper but they have no idea why it seems like a problem yesterday.
so always check your body stauts periodically and if there is any uncomfort, go and cure it. if you cannot solve it at that point of time. you need to at least be aware of it.
i am tired more of C next time meanwhile tkae care. -
i think i shd die too then...
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i am back... what is C?
c denotes calm. i think it is the most imortant thing on earth adn the only thing you shld strive to achieve.
failure. success. happiness, sadness. problems. relationships. money..
you can experience all these things. but they are not imporatnt because the above things are too complicated. theories overlap each other, conflict with each other. how they hell are you goint to sort them out. what is what. when to do what . what is sometimes right and sometimes not right.
in summary. the 2 things are body status and calmness.
2 things lead to 4 outcomes.
1. body ok, calm ( ideal state,dun be greedy and start thinking of acheving other things)
2. body not ok, calm
3body ok, not clam
4.body not okay, not clam. (pls torelate my speeling, i am too lazy to correct it.)
24 hrs a day, 365 day a year your whole life starts afresh with these 2 things.
and they will always be applicable. you must acknowledge that state 2-4
will exist in your life and they are not desirable but live with it. life is imperfect.
you aim is very simple. train yourself so that you can go to state 1 very quicky.
if you fail and fall ack into any one of the state 2 to 4. its ok. at least you are aware which state you are in. and can solve accordingly.
you will be bombarded with many advices later on. and they are not going to be too helpful vecause a person brain is not very good at solving such things.
most people recover not because they see what is the solution. they just happen becuase of many things which they temselves dun noe. so these people claim they have manage to got out of the ashes.
to apply to your case specifcally. i dun noe much . your problem is highly complex. but remeber what i say.. i guess you are now in state 4. body not ok, not feeling calm. body unwell. treat it. feeling not calm. how to solve?
let go of everything.that is bothering you and i mean EVERYTHING. the problems of your you mother, your husband, your child. like a buch of ballons that give you problems. elease them all at once. its all in the mind. remeber matrix. if you choose to believe it is a problem, then the problem really becomes a problem, if you choose too think it is not a problem it is not a problem. In essence, this means that 99% of huam problem are imaginary, it is the product of the mind and nothing more than that. these problems are not real but are made real . they can eliminated at one second or they can toemnt you for long. to master how to solve all these mental problem is no easy feat i have to admit.
so lets paint a scenario. you are at home now. you see yourr child and husband and mother. your brain starts thinking about things. bad and good.
your debts bills is staring in your face and you are thinking how to pay them.
you start worring. and everything . worse thing is. you cannot slove tem.
for one year, you are in state 4 or 3. but as i have said, life is not perfect.
go solve your problem and move to state 1. if can achieve that then that is good , if cannot, then its okay. you need to accept life imperfection.
i can't tok mush, and my theory is not very good,. my exam is coming.
god bless singapore, god bless me, god bless everyone.
remmber if you cannot manage all the advices and problems. start with knowing just the abovementioned 2 things. you must imagine you are a baby because you are going to relearn every thing again. don't rush, don't worry, remeber life is imperfect. Sucicde is out of the question. believe me. -
Hmm.. Hazel... What have ya said...?Originally posted by freshbreezes:
thanks Hazel for your concern n kind help . i'll try n let u know whether i can be help! one last time! i'm going to try one last time.
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hmm.... it sounds like meditation. i took up yoga n meditation before. yes..it helps me greatly esp on my depression. though it can calm me i still can't solve my problems. paying bills, loansharks, bringing up my child n trying to change a gambler to a responsible person have taken its tolls on me. we can do alot to our body n mind but there is little we can do on external factors.Originally posted by gkokm21:i am back... what is C?
c denotes calm. i think it is the most imortant thing on earth adn the only thing you shld strive to achieve.
failure. success. happiness, sadness. problems. relationships. money..
you can experience all these things. but they are not imporatnt because the above things are too complicated. theories overlap each other, conflict with each other. how they hell are you goint to sort them out. what is what. when to do what . what is sometimes right and sometimes not right.
in summary. the 2 things are body status and calmness.
2 things lead to 4 outcomes.
1. body ok, calm ( ideal state,dun be greedy and start thinking of acheving other things)
2. body not ok, calm
3body ok, not clam
4.body not okay, not clam. (pls torelate my speeling, i am too lazy to correct it.)
24 hrs a day, 365 day a year your whole life starts afresh with these 2 things.
and they will always be applicable. you must acknowledge that state 2-4
will exist in your life and they are not desirable but live with it. life is imperfect.
you aim is very simple. train yourself so that you can go to state 1 very quicky.
if you fail and fall ack into any one of the state 2 to 4. its ok. at least you are aware which state you are in. and can solve accordingly.
you will be bombarded with many advices later on. and they are not going to be too helpful vecause a person brain is not very good at solving such things.
most people recover not because they see what is the solution. they just happen becuase of many things which they temselves dun noe. so these people claim they have manage to got out of the ashes.
to apply to your case specifcally. i dun noe much . your problem is highly complex. but remeber what i say.. i guess you are now in state 4. body not ok, not feeling calm. body unwell. treat it. feeling not calm. how to solve?
let go of everything.that is bothering you and i mean EVERYTHING. the problems of your you mother, your husband, your child. like a buch of ballons that give you problems. elease them all at once. its all in the mind. remeber matrix. if you choose to believe it is a problem, then the problem really becomes a problem, if you choose too think it is not a problem it is not a problem. In essence, this means that 99% of huam problem are imaginary, it is the product of the mind and nothing more than that. these problems are not real but are made real . they can eliminated at one second or they can toemnt you for long. to master how to solve all these mental problem is no easy feat i have to admit.
so lets paint a scenario. you are at home now. you see yourr child and husband and mother. your brain starts thinking about things. bad and good.
your debts bills is staring in your face and you are thinking how to pay them.
you start worring. and everything . worse thing is. you cannot slove tem.
for one year, you are in state 4 or 3. but as i have said, life is not perfect.
go solve your problem and move to state 1. if can achieve that then that is good , if cannot, then its okay. you need to accept life imperfection.
i can't tok mush, and my theory is not very good,. my exam is coming.
god bless singapore, god bless me, god bless everyone.
remmber if you cannot manage all the advices and problems. start with knowing just the abovementioned 2 things. you must imagine you are a baby because you are going to relearn every thing again. don't rush, don't worry, remeber life is imperfect. Sucicde is out of the question. believe me.
thanks for your method. i'll sure try it ! -
If really can't take it, approach social workers for help...Originally posted by freshbreezes:hmm.... it sounds like meditation. i took up yoga n meditation before. yes..it helps me greatly esp on my depression. though it can calm me i still can't solve my problems. paying bills, loansharks, bringing up my child n trying to change a gambler to a responsible person have taken its tolls on me. we can do alot to our body n mind but there is little we can do on external factors.
thanks for your method. i'll sure try it ! -
Sorry to say this but i felt sorry for the life you're having now. I don't know how to give you advices but suicide is definately not the ideal solution. You have to be strong to continue living. You still got children to depend on you. Take care!Originally posted by freshbreezes:hmm.... it sounds like meditation. i took up yoga n meditation before. yes..it helps me greatly esp on my depression. though it can calm me i still can't solve my problems. paying bills, loansharks, bringing up my child n trying to change a gambler to a responsible person have taken its tolls on me. we can do alot to our body n mind but there is little we can do on external factors.
thanks for your method. i'll sure try it ! -
of cuz there is, every single cell in your body is screaming for survival, its juz how u look at things. dun worry, work towards an objective, step by step, slowly and steadily. start with something small and work up. if u feel stressed, do something simple and relaxing.Originally posted by freshbreezes:I am trying very hard to convince myself that there must be a reason for me to be alive. But I can't find any. I am giving up....slowly..slowly..slooowly. No money, mountain of debts, can't work, husband doesn't care, child turning bad..... can someone tell me how to commit suicide? -
Can I suggest something? Maybe it's time for you to give up on the gambler and hoping that he will be a responsible person. For now, focus on yourself and your child. If you still hope he changes, I can suggest that you can approach the councils.Originally posted by freshbreezes:hmm.... it sounds like meditation. i took up yoga n meditation before. yes..it helps me greatly esp on my depression. though it can calm me i still can't solve my problems. paying bills, loansharks, bringing up my child n trying to change a gambler to a responsible person have taken its tolls on me. we can do alot to our body n mind but there is little we can do on external factors.
thanks for your method. i'll sure try it !
For loansharks, under whose name is the debt loan?
Are there any bills that you can cut down?
As for your child, you can ask for help from councils 2.
I'm trying to break down your problems so that it'll be easier to solve one by one, then everything together.
Remember you can control your life and the way it is. If you are unable to handle external factors, look into whether do you want to hold the responsible. You have the choice! -
Originally posted by stormax:Can I suggest something? Maybe it's time for you to give up on the gambler and hoping that he will be a responsible person. For now, focus on yourself and your child. If you still hope he changes, I can suggest that you can approach the councils.
For loansharks, under whose name is the debt loan?
Are there any bills that you can cut down?
As for your child, you can ask for help from councils 2.
I'm trying to break down your problems so that it'll be easier to solve one by one, then everything together.
Remember you can control your life and the way it is. If you are unable to handle external factors, look into whether do you want to hold the responsible. You have the choice!
i do not know whether will he change or not. but we hv been quarrelling everyday. he apologised n asked for another chance. i've given him 4 chances already! i told him i can't stand it anymore n i'll leave him once i'll be able to take care of myself. i told him i'll leave my daughter for him to take care. he was very sad n told me he will settle all debts in 30 days. i didn't think he can for i know he is at his wits end. so after a while, our family friend came to my hse n talked to me. she said i should gv my husband a chance as the debts are not entirely gambling debts but failed biz. she said my husband had asked abt insurance payt out n hse inherence matters. she suspects dat my husband is going to take a drastic step, ending his life to pay everything. when i heard dat i am not shock. in fact, i hope he did it as all the troubles is his doings! i do not know since when i become such a heartless person!
i remember few mths back, we hv discussed abt situation n we felt hopeless. i asked him whether we should consider dying together. he told me he won't take his life for juz a few ten of thousands dollars. -
God must hv answered my cries for help. one of my friend who i know for juz 2 mths loan me money to pay the loansharks. now my loansharks problems is solved. i promised my friend i'll returned her the money in abt 3 mths time when i sell my hse. but i juz found out we will not hv any money left if i sell my hse as i've juz downgrade last year!
anybody out there know where to borrow at least 40k? or anybody hv a solution? please HELP! -
i'm still alive but still plague wif money,money,money problems. i saw the news abt the commit suicide of the father n son in hong kong due to unemployment. according to the news, there r more n more suicides due to unemployment n money matters. i was thinking i am not the only one wanting the easiest way out afterall. my brother-in-law did it 6 yrs ago. he left behind his insurance money n mountains of loansharks debts. we didn't pay the loansharks as it was not borrowed by us. he is such a nice n honest man. no smoking, gambling n was a perfect family man. i always envy my sis for having such a perfect husband. so when he jumped fr the highest flr, we were so shock! til today, we still can't believe he ended his life this way n why? i guessed it all boiled down to money. though my sis was very depressed but after abt 8 yrs, now she is planning for her new wedding. so see it was not bad afterall.... she had a better life.
i've called sos for help dat day. and guess wat? i was sobbing n telling my problem to a guy. after abt 20 mins, i can sense his impatient. we ended our conversation without any solutions. when i looked at the time i realised it's lunch time! no wonder he is impatient! i've also called the family care centre, they r unable to help unless i meet them personally. but i can't travel how to go there?
so what is my next help? any other new ideas? -
Why can't you travel to the family care?Originally posted by freshbreezes:i'm still alive but still plague wif money,money,money problems. i saw the news abt the commit suicide of the father n son in hong kong due to unemployment. according to the news, there r more n more suicides due to unemployment n money matters. i was thinking i am not the only one wanting the easiest way out afterall. my brother-in-law did it 6 yrs ago. he left behind his insurance money n mountains of loansharks debts. we didn't pay the loansharks as it was not borrowed by us. he is such a nice n honest man. no smoking, gambling n was a perfect family man. i always envy my sis for having such a perfect husband. so when he jumped fr the highest flr, we were so shock! til today, we still can't believe he ended his life this way n why? i guessed it all boiled down to money. though my sis was very depressed but after abt 8 yrs, now she is planning for her new wedding. so see it was not bad afterall.... she had a better life.
i've called sos for help dat day. and guess wat? i was sobbing n telling my problem to a guy. after abt 20 mins, i can sense his impatient. we ended our conversation without any solutions. when i looked at the time i realised it's lunch time! no wonder he is impatient! i've also called the family care centre, they r unable to help unless i meet them personally. but i can't travel how to go there?
so what is my next help? any other new ideas?
If you're sincerely wanting help, you should go by personally by hook or by crook?
How can you expect anybody to help you much when you keep saying you can't do this and can't do that? -
i always feel that no matter what kind of problems, there will be a way to solve it. or shd i say to prevent it? i had alot of hard times b4 too, but in the end i overcame it. there was once i overspent, my car broke down need to send for repair, and car installment due at the same time too. tat was the most headache part. i was so headache, din told my parents and gf. but i still manage thru.
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i hv also been thru many hard times n emerge fr them. any solutions or ways of earning money r no problem if u r healthy. if u hv to rely on one that can't work hard, wat can i do. i've repaid debts more than 200k. i am juz earning less than $1500 then n yet i can still overcome them. that was b4 my disability. car is a luxury. the very most let the finance co take it back. then arrange installments payt lor... for me i've been to the stage where the courts ordered auction on my hse things. but i also manage thru. what u r now going thru r not problems at all. the only problem is u, yourself. if u do your own budgets n stick to it. u can become rich.Originally posted by shifeng:i always feel that no matter what kind of problems, there will be a way to solve it. or shd i say to prevent it? i had alot of hard times b4 too, but in the end i overcame it. there was once i overspent, my car broke down need to send for repair, and car installment due at the same time too. tat was the most headache part. i was so headache, din told my parents and gf. but i still manage thru.
that is an advice fr someone who had been there b4. u can do anything if u doesn't hv a family. if u hv husband or wife n children, then the real problems will come! -
anyone saw the frontline programme last nite. it's abt a divorcee seeking for help. the difficulties she faced n how many so-call 'social organisation' can't help her! this is exactly wat happened to me! she was on TV crying n gaining sympathies..... y must we poor folks hv to swoop so low to hv a decent living? we may be poor but we also hv pride. our children also hv their pride. wat r they thinking when they hv to expose their life to the whole s'pore? this is worst then begging!!! at least only few ppl know u r a begger n u can keep your life private!
every time s'porean donated generously to poor ppl in other countries, i felt sad. i supposed charity begins at home doesn't hold true now. we donated to others where else our own citizen r begging n hungry!
i hv borrowed fr a relative abt 2k some mths back. he promised us he will only wants his money back when we r more settled. but after 2 mths, he wants his money back. he chased us like loansharks! the reasons? his child is going to a poor country to help the poor ppl. that really sucks!!!!!!! s'pore no poor ppl meh? we r so poor then y didn't help us first instead force us to pay when we didn't hv three meals a day? -
cos u cant find any reasons to die? are people giving up on you or r u giving up on urself?
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in case u dunno, suicide is a crime in s'pore so u better make sure you don't get caught.Originally posted by freshbreezes:I am trying very hard to convince myself that there must be a reason for me to be alive. But I can't find any. I am giving up....slowly..slowly..slooowly. No money, mountain of debts, can't work, husband doesn't care, child turning bad..... can someone tell me how to commit suicide? -
There are many cumbersome ways to kill a man.Originally posted by freshbreezes:I am trying very hard to convince myself that there must be a reason for me to be alive. But I can't find any. I am giving up....slowly..slowly..slooowly. No money, mountain of debts, can't work, husband doesn't care, child turning bad..... can someone tell me how to commit suicide?
You can make him carry a plank of wood
To the top of a hill and nail him to it.
To do this
Properly you require a crowd of people
Wearing sandals, a cock that crows, a cloak
To dissect, a sponge, some vinegar and one
Man to hammer the nails home.
Or you can take a length of steel,
Shaped and chased in a traditional way,
And attempt to pierce the metal cage he wears.
But for this you need white horses,
English trees, men with bows and arrows,
At least two flags, a prince and a
Castle to hold your banquet in.
Dispensing with nobility, you may, if the wind
Allows, blow gas at him. But then you need
A mile of mud sliced through with ditches,
Not to mention black boots, bomb craters,
More mud, a plague of rats, a dozen songs
And some round hats made of steel.
In an age of aeroplanes, you may fly
Miles above your victim and dispose of him by
Pressing one small switch. All you then
Require is an ocean to separate you, two
Systems of government, a nation's scientists,
Several factories, a psychopath and
Land that no one needs for several years.
These are, as I began, cumbersome ways
To kill a man. Simpler, direct, and much more neat
Is to see that he lives somewhere in the middle
Of the twentieth century, and leave him there.
-- Edwin Brock -
Sometimes, you need to ask the correct questions.Originally posted by freshbreezes:I am trying very hard to convince myself that there must be a reason for me to be alive. But I can't find any. I am giving up....slowly..slowly..slooowly. No money, mountain of debts, can't work, husband doesn't care, child turning bad..... can someone tell me how to commit suicide?
No money => How can I make money? What can I do to reduce wastage?
Mountain of debts => Can I come up with an installment plan for payment? How can I stick to this plan? What must I do to make sure I can clear the mountain of debts?
Can't work => What kind of work can I do in my current condition?
Husband doesn't care => How can I care for him? How can I communicate with him better and more effectively?
Child turning bad => How do I express my love to my child?
How to commit suicide => How do I survive and thrive?
I believe the human brains can always answer the questions you ask. You just need to ask the right questions. -
this is just a part of life. now ur kid argue with u. but sooner or later, e dark clouds will go away. everything has its pros n cons. so is raising up kids.have u never argue with ur parents or make them upset before?
i believe in karma. everybody come to this world to settle some debts that we owe others in many many previous life! u can b unhappy, u can cry, u can run away from it and even from this world. but e problem will still b there. what u owe others, u will still owe them. if there is a change, sad to say is that e debt will only get more b'cos of e interest. sad but true this is life.
i hope this wont make e idea of leaving this world more appetaizing to u!if there is an option that this world had given us, then it is to b brave, think positive n do wat we should, wat we had to do."failure is e mother of sucess" think about wat went wrong n try to solve e problem bit by bit.it take both hands to clap.if u hold on, there is a chance e problem can b solved! n better dayswill come. but if u quit now. then u will forver b a loser. n u r just giving ur share of e problem to others! -
to witness the end of the world?