tell me a reason to continue living...
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go westsiders la kopi session and pour out ur grievances...Originally posted by freshbreezes:I am trying very hard to convince myself that there must be a reason for me to be alive. But I can't find any. I am giving up....slowly..slowly..slooowly. No money, mountain of debts, can't work, husband doesn't care, child turning bad..... can someone tell me how to commit suicide? -
DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise & haste, & remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story. ~ Avoid loud & aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. ~ Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. ~ Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. ~ Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. ~ You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. ~ Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. ~ With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~~
Found in old St PaulÂ’s Church: dated 1692 -
aww...come on..things may not be as what you think...think on the bright side and don't do anything foolish...me also have bad times before,but i manage to slove all and carry on with my life and so do you...don't give up your life so easily...Originally posted by freshbreezes:I am trying very hard to convince myself that there must be a reason for me to be alive. But I can't find any. I am giving up....slowly..slowly..slooowly. No money, mountain of debts, can't work, husband doesn't care, child turning bad..... can someone tell me how to commit suicide? -
I don't know what to say ! But I am sure suicide is stupid !
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Hmm... True Blend~?Originally posted by mancha:DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise & haste, & remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story. ~ Avoid loud & aggressive persons; they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. ~ Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. ~ Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. ~ Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. ~ You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. ~ Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. ~ With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. ~~
Found in old St PaulÂ’s Church: dated 1692
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Because there are always solutions to your problems.
Maybe you feel so much pain now.. that you are no longer afraid of suicide.
But U are not solving the root of the problem.
Why does your child turn bad?
Why doesn't your husband care?
Why no money & lots of debts?
Why you only ask yourself why and don't answer it?
U have the answers to those questions and I am sure you can work it out in the end. You committing suicide will not solve the above problems.
Please be strong enough to brave thru this. You will emerge stronger. -
is one meal a day a luxury? always buy the cheapest products n only the neccessity. my child needs all the nutricious as she is growing so i save on myself not on her. all my so call luxury things r bought before my paralysis.Originally posted by Magnus:There's a reason to stay alive.
The reason is to have the challenge to turn things around.
No money, debts?
Are u living beyond your means? Look into your spending habits. What is necessary to u may be a luxury to others.
Can't work?
Are you disadvantaged? Every able-bodied person can work.
Husband don't care?
Too busy earning bringing back the dough to settle debts?
Are you working by the way?
Child turning bad?
How old is your child? If less that 10 yrs old, it should not be difficult?
The child is a mirror of his/her parents.
husband? released fr prison 3 yrs ago n still can't find a job. now become addicted to gambling. i can't work as my paralysis affected my hand n leg! otherwise i hv no problems.
child- mirror of us. i hope better not. i am a broken mirror n my husband is a evil mirror! -
i wanted to live too.... who doesn't? but sometimes it is almost impossible.
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Do or do not. There is no try.Originally posted by freshbreezes:I am trying very hard to convince myself that there must be a reason for me to be alive. But I can't find any. I am giving up....slowly..slowly..slooowly. No money, mountain of debts, can't work, husband doesn't care, child turning bad..... can someone tell me how to commit suicide?
~ From Yoda, Star Wars.
My advice:
Seek a financial planner and find a family counsellor to address the problems you faced.
If you want help online, tell us the reasons behind the debts, the problems u faced etc. -
When everything seems bleak.Originally posted by freshbreezes:is one meal a day a luxury? always buy the cheapest products n only the neccessity. my child needs all the nutricious as she is growing so i save on myself not on her. all my so call luxury things r bought before my paralysis.
husband? released fr prison 3 yrs ago n still can't find a job. now become addicted to gambling. i can't work as my paralysis affected my hand n leg! otherwise i hv no problems.
child- mirror of us. i hope better not. i am a broken mirror n my husband is a evil mirror!
There's still one hope. That's your child.
Whichever mirror u have, it will reflect/refract on your child.
Teach her well. Be strong. -
How about your friends, relatives, or your in-laws?
There is no shame turining to them for genuine help.
I am sure some if not all, is willing to help.
Talk to your husband. Turn him round. For the sake of the family & children. -
do u use ur internet connection to ask for financial help or something?
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all my friends disappeared the moment i was in hospital. relatives r so angry wif our constant borrowings n r sick of our empty promises to pay back. my mum is a gambler too so my family is poor! my husband is a orphan n all his sisters n brothers have given hopes on him already. they took pity on me n had helped b4 but we didn't hv the means to pay back. they r not rich too. i know my husband has tried hard to provide 4 us b4 by doing odd jobs. but it is juz not enough to pay all his debts, my medical fees n all household bills. now he had also given up working as his debtors keep pestering him n i've giving him too much pressures too! he does not hv any paper qualifications n in his forties, so how to get a job? we tried CDC but the salary was so low sometimes it is juz enuff to travel n his meals!Originally posted by Magnus:How about your friends, relatives, or your in-laws?
There is no shame turining to them for genuine help.
I am sure some if not all, is willing to help.
Talk to your husband. Turn him round. For the sake of the family & children. -
i don't believe ppl in internet can help financially and i don't know how to do it. i read it happened in u.s but i never heard it happen in s'pore. i know a lot of ppl donated when they read sad stories fr newspaper. y singaporeans helped only those in the media crying their hearts out? i can't do it..... i don't want my daughter to see the failure of her parents, i don't want her to hv inferior complex n i don't want our relatives to subjects to limelights. i don't hv the courage to face my neighbours n all those who know us.Originally posted by Suicine:do u use ur internet connection to ask for financial help or something? -
i don't believe ppl in internet can help financially and i don't know how to do it. i read it happened in u.s but i never heard it happen in s'pore. i know a lot of ppl donated when they read sad stories fr newspaper. y singaporeans helped only those in the media crying their hearts out? i can't do it..... i don't want my daughter to see the failure of her parents, i don't want her to hv inferior complex n i don't want our relatives to subjects to limelights. i don't hv the courage to face my neighbours n all those who know us.
ask yourself: is your daughter more important than your 'face'?
you are still worried about your 'face' because you fear the way your relatives and neighbours will look at you if you seek help.
but what about your daughter? will you rather that she become a beggar on the streets? or a thief?
you fear that your daughter will look down on you. how would you know? why don't you think in the way that your daughter might be understanding and reasonable about the current situation?
even if she isn't the understanding type, i'll rather have my own child hate me than seeing him/her go on the streets begging.
people don't donate through the internet because of two reasons:
1) newspaper articles cannot publish false stories, but the internet can.
2) not everyone visits the same website as you do. so how does the word spread around? -
why are you still keeping your internet access and your computer?Originally posted by freshbreezes:i don't believe ppl in internet can help financially and i don't know how to do it. i read it happened in u.s but i never heard it happen in s'pore. i know a lot of ppl donated when they read sad stories fr newspaper. y singaporeans helped only those in the media crying their hearts out? i can't do it..... i don't want my daughter to see the failure of her parents, i don't want her to hv inferior complex n i don't want our relatives to subjects to limelights. i don't hv the courage to face my neighbours n all those who know us. -
how do you expect others to try their best to help when you yourself don't even try. you are giving me the impression that you are giving it all up when you still have a child to take care of.
if your husband is a hard-core gambler. and you do not want to continue living.. what's gonna happen to your child?
you need to be strong.
you and your husband need to sit down and talk about this.
Your Husband:
he's a gambler. he's an ex-convict. he couldn't find a job for several years.
where does he get the money for his gambling capital? i really wondered.
But anyway, he needs to kick the bad habit first. With debts, there's no way to have spare cash on hand.
Then he has to find a job. If he still cares about the family, he ought to take up some courses and pick up some skills.
SCORE (Singapore Corporation of Rehabilitative Enterprises) does provide some assistance on this.
They have this Employment Assistance Unit (EAU) that helps to provide employment assistance to offenders and ex-offenders. EAU will help them to secure jobs.
You may visit this website for more details : http://www.mha.gov.sg/score/vocational_training.html
Your child :
I dunno what you mean by your child is turning bad. I do not know even how old is your child. But there must be reasons why this is happening. Is it that the child does not get enough care and attention?
Education help is available from CDAC. The "Project Start" is to assist academically weak students from low-income families. You can contact CDAC Student Service Centre Department at 68435588.
If your child is between 7-14 yrs old, there's assistance for student care. This assistance is given to eligible parents who place their children in Student Care Centres (SCC). This is to ensure that SCCs are within the reach of parents who need to provide their children with an alternative form of day-care arrangement before and after school hours but are unable to afford the fees. But to apply, one of the parent needs to be working full-time or part-time regularly.
For you..
If you are not disabled, i think you still could find a job placement. You can contact government job placement centres, like CDAC career link or NTUC career link etc. to look for a job.
You mentioned that CDC did assist you but it was only enough for your husband's meals and transport expenses?
At this point of time, everyone in your family have to work together to cut expenses. Why does he even need transport expenses when he is not even working?
CDC scheme is to provide financial aid. That's for just buying the necessities. From what i understand, they do provide a few hundred dollars aid every month for short periods. CDC also provides assistance for payment of utilities and S&C charges for short periods too. Did you apply for that?
Besides CDC, CDAC also have similar schemes. You can contact CDAC for more details on this. I do know it's a monthly aid of $250 if you do qualify.
There are some other organisations which can render help to you :
AMP (adopt-a-family scheme)
Adult will be provided with computer skills and worker training courses for free. Children be given tuition assistance.
Holiday programmes and other enrichment programmes either for free or at a heavily subsidised rate.
Families are also given free PC for those who do not have one
Counselling assistance is also available here.
Tel : 64163960 / 64163963
Sree Narayana Mission Home (Home Food Relief Programme)
Monthly food rations provided to needy people.
MCDS (Sponsor a need scheme)
Helps individuals and families from low income with their specific needs. Includes developmental needs which are out of their reach due to lack of financial resources.
Tel : 6354 8293
Family Service Centres (FSC) Tel : 1800-8380100
1) School Pocket Money Fund Scheme
Helps children from low-income families to pay for basic daily school-related expenses.
2) Casework & Counselling
Counselling services available includes : marital counselling, behavioral problems, child management, domestic violence, financial difficulties etc.
CDAC (NEU PC Programme)
Provides opportunity for low income families to own either new PCs or refurbished PCs.
Tel : 68435588
Lastly, are you doing enough to cut the expenditure? How long can you go on when expenditure is more than income. Especially now when there's no income at all. Your child needs to attend school.. fees, books etc. cost money. Please seek the assistance from the organisations, I am sure they are able to help.
And yes cut off those that are not necessary. If internet connection is not necessary, then cut it off. You'll have one expense lesser to worry about.
I do think that you need the support from family to go through this.
Financial assistance can only tide you and your family for a short period. Think of the long run, you and your husband need to find a job fast. That will solve most problems.
Please stay strong. It's not easy but it's not impossible too. -
For your information, stated in Straits Times that a man who has been stroke and paralysed, got better after treatments after acupunture visits. He is able to move rather like he used to be.
Maybe you want to go and have a try? For you and your child's future
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freshbreezes.. you mentioned that you have some difficulties moving your arm and leg.. but that does not mean you are disabled!Originally posted by stormax:For your information, stated in Straits Times that a man who has been stroke and paralysed, got better after treatments after acupunture visits. He is able to move rather like he used to be.
Maybe you want to go and have a try? For you and your child's future
please seek treatment and help.
you may recover and then you can get a normal job again. -
X 2. Being despair and giving up on yourself is certainly leading yourself to a DEAD END....Originally posted by Haze|:freshbreezes.. you mentioned that you have some difficulties moving your arm and leg.. but that does not mean you are disabled!
please seek treatment and help.
you may recover and then you can get a normal job again. -
it ain't over till you say its over
be strong girl -
If death is the only way to end problems.. we'll see corpses lying everywhere & there will b pple jumping off buildings every min. Sometimes when u need help.. u seek & u get help. But y can't ur probs b solved? Pple can only listen & offer their advice.. the rest is all up to u to work it. U'r the only 1 who can help urself.. its ur life.. live for urself & no 1 else.
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hi everyone, i am juz happy so many ppl still show care n concern. after reading so many encouragements n solutions posted, i am going to try one more time. i am going to seek a social councilor's help b4 i lost my mind n do something 'great'!
i am now fill wif so much hatred n anger that i think i'm not only going to kill myself but my hubby as well! i'll kill him first then my child (can't bear to leave her behind to suffer) then lastly myself. woow... all problems solved! can still be in the headlines! don't know coffins buy two got one free or not? now i know why some ppl killed their whole family then commit suicide!!! this idea may look cruel or stupid but it is so tempting.... everything solved the fastest n easiest!
someone here asked me where my hubby got the capital to gamble? yesterday i finally found out.... he borrowed fr loansharks! 20K!!! so i think better kill him first!
now my situations looks really hopeless. the burdens r unbearable! how to step out of this mess? i am now at my DEAD END!
Divorce him? still must pay the debts n no place to stay later! sell house? i juz downgrade six mth ago! Begging? too young n not sorrowfull enuff! declared bankrupt? still must pay loansharks n no hse stay where? how? solutions! solutions SOLUTIONS! I need SOLUTIONS! -
Originally posted by freshbreezes:
aww...thatz really bad this time..never play with those loansharks...i think you better move to somewhere which is more safe...did you seek helps from your family members?maybe they can help out...
hi everyone, i am juz happy so many ppl still show care n concern. after reading so many encouragements n solutions posted, i am going to try one more time. i am going to seek a social councilor's help b4 i lost my mind n do something '[b]great'!
i am now fill wif so much hatred n anger that i think i'm not only going to kill myself but my hubby as well! i'll kill him first then my child (can't bear to leave her behind to suffer) then lastly myself. woow... all problems solved! can still be in the headlines! don't know coffins buy two got one free or not? now i know why some ppl killed their whole family then commit suicide!!! this idea may look cruel or stupid but it is so tempting.... everything solved the fastest n easiest!
someone here asked me where my hubby got the capital to gamble? yesterday i finally found out.... he borrowed fr loansharks! 20K!!! so i think better kill him first!
now my situations looks really hopeless. the burdens r unbearable! how to step out of this mess? i am now at my DEAD END!
Divorce him? still must pay the debts n no place to stay later! sell house? i juz downgrade six mth ago! Begging? too young n not sorrowfull enuff! declared bankrupt? still must pay loansharks n no hse stay where? how? solutions! solutions SOLUTIONS! I need SOLUTIONS![/b]
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thanks Hazel for your concern n kind help . i'll try n let u know whether i can be help! one last time! i'm going to try one last time.