Should I or should I not??
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Hi everyone. I've got a boyfriend and I love him very much. Though we may be busy with our own schoolwork and stuffs, we seldom fail to meet each other at least a week.
Sometimes we're bored and there isn't any nice place to go to, he likes coming to my place (only when there's no one home). Then we always cuddle together and watch the television, always halfway, he will automatically go into my room and just lie on my bed say he sleepy and wants to sleep.
I like to tease him say he dirty and smelly and always try to pull him out of the bed, but his strength is bigger, so in the end, I always end up lying on him. Hmm, then in bed, he always tries to unbutton (if I happen to wear a buttoned shirt that day) me and says he wants to touch my boobs.
It's not that I don't allow him, I feel really awkward whenever he tries to sneak his hands under my blouse. Okay I admit I quite like that feeling, but it just doesn't seem right to me. I'm sure and I know we won't and will not be having any sex.
Besides, my Mother once told me to NOT let any guys touch my boobs. It just isn't right. Even though he didn't touch it, already I feel quite sinful le. Then in SMS-es, he always request for such things, like touching or asking me to strip.
I know it's only touching and I sound quite stupid or conservative just because "My Mom doesn't allows me to". I, myself, already find it going against my own principles and thinkings by letting him going this far (unbuttoning). But my boyfriend is good enough to stop whenever I loudly asked him to. He doesn't like to force me either.
I feel like a failure, I feel that I can't satisfy him. Up to now, I dare not hold his di.ck with my bare hands. Everytime I only stroke his di.ck with his briefs on. Though each time only through hugs and me stroking him, and his manhood is hard already, I still feel so useless.
I'm not troubled because that I can't make him happy only. Sometimes I keep thinking that he's with me because perhaps I'm his first girlfriend that allows him to come this far, and not because of love. But I really love him and I can't lose him.. I've got no choice. Haix. I know I sound kind of naive and young, I'm only 17.
So, should I or should I not let him let his way?? Also, I'm absolutely sure I will be so embarrassed with his hands on my boobs. He's always "fingering" me though I have my pants on, meaning, touching/stroking me trying to make me feel good. He keeps wanting to insert his hand into my panties, and I don't shave, and I always have a little foul-smelling discharges, I'm scared if he touches them.. Yuck! It will be so disgusting and very, very awkward..
Advices? Opinions? Suggestions? Anyone.. All please feel free to post comments.. Thanks. Hopefully helpful ones, please do not joke. I'm really feeling troubled and need help. Thank you all. -
Two views:
i)Which clone are you? Bao sang ming lai!
ii)Never, ever feel guilty about rejecting a guy cause you cannot satisfy him. The body is yours. Only you and you has the right to decide what to do with it. If you deeply believe everything shall come after marriage, then keep following it. There's nothing wrong in doing that.
If you loosen and agree to your boyfriend's advances, boobs --> you know what. You're only 17. You don't want to get pregnant and have a child, right? Also, based on what you wrote, once you start doing it, you'll feel guilty forever so better don't do it at all.
So what if you really love him. Love not equal to sex. Surely you have heard that before. Now it's time to follow it. From what you say, I have a feeling you're involved in churches, right? So, if you still worry, seek help from those in the church. They can continue to guide you. -
If you let him touch you , I am sure he will want more and more in a few months time.
you will ended up having sex with him within 6 months.
stop being alone with him when nobody is at home, I am sure what you are feeling now is not love. Love is not this kind of feelings. -
u reg jus to tell us this?
ok, thanks -
i agreed with u coolmyth on the part 2 of ur reply nia not the 1st partOriginally posted by CoolMyth:Two views:
i)Which clone are you? Bao sang ming lai!
ii)Never, ever feel guilty about rejecting a guy cause you cannot satisfy him. The body is yours. Only you and you has the right to decide what to do with it. If you deeply believe everything shall come after marriage, then keep following it. There's nothing wrong in doing that.
If you loosen and agree to your boyfriend's advances, boobs --> you know what. You're only 17. You don't want to get pregnant and have a child, right? Also, based on what you wrote, once you start doing it, you'll feel guilty forever so better don't do it at all.
So what if you really love him. Love not equal to sex. Surely you have heard that before. Now it's time to follow it. From what you say, I have a feeling you're involved in churches, right? So, if you still worry, seek help from those in the church. They can continue to guide you. -
maybe she is very perturbed leh?Originally posted by FireIce:u reg jus to tell us this?
ok, thanks -
The guilty feeling will be worst you ever had once you start petting with him, he will sure go further and further.
Once you use to the petting feeling you won't resist for further, ended up you will start worrying about pregnant, AIDS and no face to see your parents.....
So your bf will find another one or 2 time you and leave you
Soon you will have another bf , and your next question in Bar forum will be should I make the same mistake to your new bf friend or not, becos he say "since you have done in with the first one why not me" .......
this will contiune till the day you got married and you feel guilty that you did not give your husband your first time, and he question about your sex life and you have to tell him all the guys you had slept with , if you choose to lie, you feel guilty......
this will goes on and on till the day you die.
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Very touching... Well youre 17 now... able to look after yourself independantly and things like that. But ask yourself: Do you feel OK with his actions (assuming you ignore your mom pleas)? If so.. then ok ma..
I think your ""situation"" is quite common.. but seems like your guy is very desperate!!..
Words fail me sometimes.... Scroll down for the others' opinions -
6 mths???Originally posted by F.O.S:If you let him touch you , I am sure he will want more and more in a few months time.
you will ended up having sex with him within 6 months.
stop being alone with him when nobody is at home, I am sure what you are feeling now is not love. Love is not this kind of feelings.
i doubt so...
Right that night it might happen.
If he truely loves you, then he would respect your decision.
On the other hand, you might want to slowly change yr own thinking.
watever happens, all the best to ya relationship..
=P -
I guess that I am in the right position to give you advice since (i) I am also in secondary school and (ii) I did some of the things your boyfriend did, but I am less of a bastard; let me explain.
It is inevitable that guys with girlfriend would want to touch their girlfriend's body parts at some point in the relationship. They may not necessarily want to "take advantage" of you (as in my case); but even as a guy, I advice you to trust your instincts. You own your boobs. If you do not want anyone's hands coming near those jugs, then by all means stop him.
I once caressed my girlfriend's breasts (when making out) and we just arrived at a point where she gradually pushed my hand off. I took the hint and learnt not to touch her there anymore, because I know she does not want me to -- either because she was not ready or simply was not comfortable with what I was doing. I recognised the fact that it was not right to push on.
In your case, the only conclusion that can be made is your boyfriend is a bastard for the following reasons:
(i) He persisted in doing things you dislike him to.
(ii) He is too pushy and does not respect your decisions. Remember you had to shout just to stop him? Well, he was not respecting you; he was afraid of losing you and thus, his source of sexual pleasure.
(iii) He ASKS directly for sexual flavours. Do you not see anything wrong with this? Things like fondling are meant to be initiated naturally and the ones who request sexual flavours from their girlfriends are called bastards.
On a side note, if you think guys are scared off by your "foul-smelling discharges" and pubic hair, you are wrong. The large majority of guys love them. -
Just to add:
You said you feel nice when he tried to sneak his hand under your blouse. To say it very bluntly, once you go deeper and start having sex, you can't stop. One side, you can't stop having sex. The other side, you feel guilty because you feel dirty. That can be the truth.
I suggest you resist the temptation to go all the way. Release your frustration when you get married. -
I agree with you , I always get a gal to sleep with me just by meeting 3 times.Originally posted by lunzbb:6 mths???
i doubt so...
Right that night it might happen.
If he truely loves you, then he would respect your decision.
On the other hand, you might want to slowly change yr own thinking.
watever happens, all the best to ya relationship..
=P
As a guy I should say "gal go on give it to him"
As an advise to the new young member I should say " gal, don't let Us get you" -
Never give him touch you...
once u gave him..he wun hesitate and will ask for more...
love is not about touching you or having sex wif u. Tinking carfully in everything u do. i dun think u will wan to regret in future when u came to think of it ya?
try to have a chat with him. tell him how u feel. im sure if he love u, he will understand.
At the age of 17, still young, there are plenty of future ahead u. dun because of him u ruin ur future.
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Agree with coolmyth.
It is apparent that once you agree to take another step further, what it will lead to eventually. As it is, you feel guilty engaging in certain activities and that feeling will escalate should you move anything beyond your current boundaries.
Guilt will damage your self esteem and might make you 'loss' yourself. While allowing him to gratifying the lust of the flesh might 'keep' him for a while, but it is you (the whole package of personality, intergrity, character, value, commitment etc) that will keep him for life. What you intended might have reverse effect on the long term.
Intimacy will build relationship and is a great gift to mankind. But misguided intimacy will also wreck great havoc to a deserving relationship. -
It is natural for guys to be more forward in regards to matters of the flesh. That per se does not make him a bad person. Human are created with passions intended for intimacy and that will never disappear.
For all you know, he might also be going through some internal struggle, whether to obey his conscience or obey his flesh? Many guys relate rejection of intimacy as rejection of him. So what then?
Assuming that both of you are involved in religious activities (christianity?), guide him to a greater YES might be appropriate. Greater YES to God's precepts and word. God never deny human desires and passions, in fact he created it. But He does regulate it. Done within God's confine, intimacy is great gift and bliss indeed!
Jam 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. -
Wow. Alot of replies. Thanks people. I'll post to you all one by one after my dinner time.. Briefly read through all. I see some light here. Xie Xie Ni Men. Will be back later
And I'm not a copy or clone or whatever that is. It's my first time here. I like it here. And I'm not a Christian. -
Sex does not equalt with making love...
Guys love sex, guys want sex...
with anyone else...
With ones they really love,
Its call making love,
thats where respect and true understanding comes in...
=P -
If it's SEX which he's looking for in a r/s, you might as well call it off, since it goes against your principles and thinkings.
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HOLY COW.U'RE SO FRIEDOriginally posted by 15963:Hi everyone. I've got a boyfriend and I love him very much. Though we may be busy with our own schoolwork and stuffs, we seldom fail to meet each other at least a week.
Sometimes we're bored and there isn't any nice place to go to, he likes coming to my place (only when there's no one home). Then we always cuddle together and watch the television, always halfway, he will automatically go into my room and just lie on my bed say he sleepy and wants to sleep.
I like to tease him say he dirty and smelly and always try to pull him out of the bed, but his strength is bigger, so in the end, I always end up lying on him. Hmm, then in bed, he always tries to unbutton (if I happen to wear a buttoned shirt that day) me and says he wants to touch my boobs.
It's not that I don't allow him, I feel really awkward whenever he tries to sneak his hands under my blouse. Okay I admit I quite like that feeling, but it just doesn't seem right to me. I'm sure and I know we won't and will not be having any sex.
Besides, my Mother once told me to NOT let any guys touch my boobs. It just isn't right. Even though he didn't touch it, already I feel quite sinful le. Then in SMS-es, he always request for such things, like touching or asking me to strip.
I know it's only touching and I sound quite stupid or conservative just because "My Mom doesn't allows me to". I, myself, already find it going against my own principles and thinkings by letting him going this far (unbuttoning). But my boyfriend is good enough to stop whenever I loudly asked him to. He doesn't like to force me either.
I feel like a failure, I feel that I can't satisfy him. Up to now, I dare not hold his di.ck with my bare hands. Everytime I only stroke his di.ck with his briefs on. Though each time only through hugs and me stroking him, and his manhood is hard already, I still feel so useless.
I'm not troubled because that I can't make him happy only. Sometimes I keep thinking that he's with me because perhaps I'm his first girlfriend that allows him to come this far, and not because of love. But I really love him and I can't lose him.. I've got no choice. Haix. I know I sound kind of naive and young, I'm only 17.
So, should I or should I not let him let his way?? Also, I'm absolutely sure I will be so embarrassed with his hands on my boobs. He's always "fingering" me though I have my pants on, meaning, touching/stroking me trying to make me feel good. He keeps wanting to insert his hand into my panties, and I don't shave, and I always have a little foul-smelling discharges, I'm scared if he touches them.. Yuck! It will be so disgusting and very, very awkward..
Advices? Opinions? Suggestions? Anyone.. All please feel free to post comments.. Thanks. Hopefully helpful ones, please do not joke. I'm really feeling troubled and need help. Thank you all. -
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Yah, do it quick. Have a child and get married, allowed Singapore government to have more troops or nurse.Originally posted by 15963:Hi everyone. I've got a boyfriend and I love him very much. Though we may be busy with our own schoolwork and stuffs, we seldom fail to meet each other at least a week.
Sometimes we're bored and there isn't any nice place to go to, he likes coming to my place (only when there's no one home). Then we always cuddle together and watch the television, always halfway, he will automatically go into my room and just lie on my bed say he sleepy and wants to sleep.
I like to tease him say he dirty and smelly and always try to pull him out of the bed, but his strength is bigger, so in the end, I always end up lying on him. Hmm, then in bed, he always tries to unbutton (if I happen to wear a buttoned shirt that day) me and says he wants to touch my boobs.
It's not that I don't allow him, I feel really awkward whenever he tries to sneak his hands under my blouse. Okay I admit I quite like that feeling, but it just doesn't seem right to me. I'm sure and I know we won't and will not be having any sex.
Besides, my Mother once told me to NOT let any guys touch my boobs. It just isn't right. Even though he didn't touch it, already I feel quite sinful le. Then in SMS-es, he always request for such things, like touching or asking me to strip.
I know it's only touching and I sound quite stupid or conservative just because "My Mom doesn't allows me to". I, myself, already find it going against my own principles and thinkings by letting him going this far (unbuttoning). But my boyfriend is good enough to stop whenever I loudly asked him to. He doesn't like to force me either.
I feel like a failure, I feel that I can't satisfy him. Up to now, I dare not hold his di.ck with my bare hands. Everytime I only stroke his di.ck with his briefs on. Though each time only through hugs and me stroking him, and his manhood is hard already, I still feel so useless.
I'm not troubled because that I can't make him happy only. Sometimes I keep thinking that he's with me because perhaps I'm his first girlfriend that allows him to come this far, and not because of love. But I really love him and I can't lose him.. I've got no choice. Haix. I know I sound kind of naive and young, I'm only 17.
So, should I or should I not let him let his way?? Also, I'm absolutely sure I will be so embarrassed with his hands on my boobs. He's always "fingering" me though I have my pants on, meaning, touching/stroking me trying to make me feel good. He keeps wanting to insert his hand into my panties, and I don't shave, and I always have a little foul-smelling discharges, I'm scared if he touches them.. Yuck! It will be so disgusting and very, very awkward..
Advices? Opinions? Suggestions? Anyone.. All please feel free to post comments.. Thanks. Hopefully helpful ones, please do not joke. I'm really feeling troubled and need help. Thank you all.
Cheers, :-) -
Love is not about s.e.xOriginally posted by F.O.S:If you let him touch you , I am sure he will want more and more in a few months time.
you will ended up having sex with him within 6 months.
stop being alone with him when nobody is at home, I am sure what you are feeling now is not love. Love is not this kind of feelings.
period. -
Okay, I'm back. So the majority here says that I should not let him do whatever he want, right? Okay.. Yes and one of you mentioned that I'll feel 'dirty', why, yes it's quite true. I'm a person who tends to think alot and after everything I did, I'll keep thinking about it.
By the way, IF (not really possible now) I really can't resist or let's say, he really force his hands in, then am I considered a cheap or loose girl??
From what you guys read from my first post, really can tell that he doesn't really love me?? But it's because of his lust and 'satisfaction' that he's still with me?? Haix. Okay.. But I don't wish to leave him. Maybe you guys are right, love isn't like that. And yes, I know Sex is NOT equal to Love.
Guess I should really go have a good talk with him. How do I start?? By telling him to stop touching me in the future? Starting to wonder if I'm supposed to be in AA instead of here. Anyway, to everyone who posted your comments, I really appreciate it alot. Thanks. Such great helps. I'm glad I found Sgforums and sought help here. -
Originally posted by 15963:
He's too curious. He wants sexual satisfaction more than anything. He is lusting. Basically, you should educate him about love.
Okay, I'm back. So the majority here says that I should not let him do whatever he want, right? Okay.. Yes and one of you mentioned that I'll feel 'dirty', why, yes it's quite true. I'm a person who tends to think alot and after everything I did, I'll keep thinking about it.
By the way, [b]IF (not really possible now) I really can't resist or let's say, he really force his hands in, then am I considered a cheap or loose girl??
From what you guys read from my first post, really can tell that he doesn't really love me?? But it's because of his lust and 'satisfaction' that he's still with me?? Haix. Okay.. But I don't wish to leave him. Maybe you guys are right, love isn't like that. And yes, I know Sex is NOT equal to Love.
Guess I should really go have a good talk with him. How do I start?? By telling him to stop touching me in the future? Starting to wonder if I'm supposed to be in AA instead of here. Anyway, to everyone who posted your comments, I really appreciate it alot. Thanks. Such great helps. I'm glad I found Sgforums and sought help here. [/b]
If you give way, once he got it, he might want more, or he might not want you anymore.
If he say anything like 'u dont love me' due to you not giving in to his sexual desires, then just kick his nuts and make sure he wakes his idea up. -
If you don't agree and insist on "NO!", you're not. If you let him, you are.Originally posted by 15963:By the way, IF (not really possible now) I really can't resist or let's say, he really force his hands in, then am I considered a cheap or loose girl??
A relationship isn't about having sex only. If he really like you, he shall not force you. Tell him that. Of course, if he continues to insist, then bo pian, he's not for you although it hurts. But there's tons of guys here willing to substitute him....Originally posted by 15963:From what you guys read from my first post, really can tell that he doesn't really love me?? But it's because of his lust and 'satisfaction' that he's still with me?? Haix. Okay.. But I don't wish to leave him. Maybe you guys are right, love isn't like that. And yes, I know Sex is NOT equal to Love.
Just tell him nicely, you don't want to have any sort of intimate contact right now. You're still young. Tell him that you don't want your girlfriend to be a bitch/slut/loose women in other people's view. If he does not accept that, obviously he's with you because of your body and not you. Leave him and I repeat, there's tons of guys here willing to substitute him.Originally posted by 15963:Guess I should really go have a good talk with him. How do I start?? By telling him to stop touching me in the future? Starting to wonder if I'm supposed to be in AA instead of here. Anyway, to everyone who posted your comments, I really appreciate it alot. Thanks. Such great helps. I'm glad I found Sgforums and sought help here.