Adult jokes
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>>
>>Do you know who is the best goalkeeper in this world?
>>Answer is WOMEN.
>>No matter how hard and what ways you screw her, your balls will never go
>>in.
>>
>>************************************************************************
>>
>>A teacher asked: Which part of body goes to heaven first?
>>A student reply: THE LEGS... because every nights I see my mum legs up
high
>>and screaming "OOOOHHHH GOD, I'MMMMM COMINGGGGGG".
>>
>>************************************************************************
>>
>>A man accidentally enters the ladies toilet, a lady say "HEY!!!THIS IS
FOR
>>LADIES".
>>
>>The man shows his penis and says "LOOK!!!!THIS IS FOR LADIES TOO"
>>
>>************************************************************************
>>If you want to release stress, come to me, take off your pants, your
>>underwear, get on top of me, relax.....enjoy it until you finish.....
>>
>>Lovingly yours....TOILET BOWL
>>
>>************************************************************************
>>
>>There are 4 types of sound made by girl during their sex intercourse;
>>1. asthmatic girl = aaahhhh aaahhhh aaahhhhh 2. obedient girl =
>>oooyesss oooyess oooyesss 3. demanding girl = oo more oo more
>>oo
>>
>>more 4. religious girl = oh my god oh my god oh my god
>>So which of these categories are you belongs to.
>>
>>************************************************************************
>>
>>Immigration Officer asked Korean Refugee : Name?.
>>Korean Refugee : Pak Yu
>>Immigration Officer : Angry......shouted back FUCK U. Now tell me your
full
>>name.
>>Korean Refugee : PAK YU TU.
>>
>>************************************************************************
>>
>>
>>
>>A MAN IS DYING OF CANCER AND HIS SON ASKED HIM "DAD WHY DO YOU KEEP
TELLING
>>PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE DYING OF AIDS"
>>DAD REPLY "SO WHEN I'M DEAD NO ONE'S IS GOING TO FUCK YOUR MOM".
>>
>>************************************************************************
>>A girl looks at a man tattoo:
>>
>>NIKE on his arms
>>REEBOK on his legs
>>She screamed when se saw AIDS on his penis.
>>"RELAX' said the man. When it erected, it will be "ADIDAS".
>> -
hahaha
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hahazz..great jokes tranquilice... try to show more! wakakaka! +1
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If I receive more of such emails.Originally posted by cockaholic:hahazz..great jokes tranquilice... try to show more! wakakaka! +1 -
could post more, quite relax from the joke after tiring work whole day -
BRAVO!
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I like this one.Originally posted by tranquilice:>>A MAN IS DYING OF CANCER AND HIS SON ASKED HIM "DAD WHY DO YOU KEEP
TELLING
>>PEOPLE THAT YOU ARE DYING OF AIDS"
>>DAD REPLY "SO WHEN I'M DEAD NO ONE'S IS GOING TO FUCK YOUR MOM".
>>
>>************************************************************************
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Very Funny
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wahahahahahaa
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damned good
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MORE MAN......
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+1
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One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, "Oh my god, help me, there's a bee in my vagina!".
The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, "Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit".
The husband being very concerned agreed that the doctor could use whatever method to get the bee out of his wife's vagina. The doctor said "OK, what I'm gonna do is rub some honey over the top of my penis and insert it into your wife's vagina. When I feel the bee getting closer to the tip of my dick I shall withdraw it and the bee should hopefully follow my penis out of your wife's vagina."
The husband nodded and gave his approval. The young lady said "Yes, yes, whatever, just get on with it."
So the doctor, after covering the tip of his penis with honey, inserted it into the young lady's vagina. After a few gentle strokes, the doctor said, "I don't think the bee has noticed the honey yet. Perhaps I should go a bit deeper".
So the doctor went deeper and deeper. After a while the doctor began shafting the young lady very hard indeed. The young lady began to quiver with excitement, she began to moan and groan aloud, "Oh doctor, doctor!" she shouted. The doctor, concentrating very hard, looked like he was enjoying himself.
He then put his hands on the young lady's breasts and started making loud noises.
The husband, at this point, suddenly became very annoyed and shouted. "Now wait a minute, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" he blasted.
The doctor, still concentrating, replied: "Change of plan, I'm gonna drown the bastard!!" -
In the Garden of Eden,
as everyone knows,
Lives Adam and Eve,
without any clothes.
In this garden,
were two little leaves,
one covered Adam's,
one covered Eve's.
As the story goes on,
Never the less to say,
the wind came along,
and blew the leaves away.
At the sight,
Adam did stare,
There was Eve's treasure,
All covered with hair.
And wonder came,
Under Eve's eyes,
As Adam's thing,
started to rise.
They found a spot,
that suited them best,
a nice big tree,
where they began to rest.
Her legs spread wider,
and wider apart,
While thrill after thrill,
Came into her heart.
The head of Adam's thing,
Peeked into the hole,
and filled her with passion,
Beyond her control.
Backward and forward,
His thing did slide,
And Eve's treasure,
was all wet inside.
The joy was good,
She wouldn't let loose,
Until Adam's thing,
Was all out of juice.
Then down through the years,
People did screw,
and now it is time,
for me and you.
So pull down your pants,
and lay in the grass,
because I'm in the mood,
for a piece of that ASS! -
The manager was having difficulty with profits and fixed costs, so there was only one solution - more layoffs. But there were only two possibilities - Jack and Mary. This was going to be a hard decision - they were both excellent workers, and equally qualified - but one had to go. He was obviously going to have to interview them both and then decide.
So he called Mary in first. "I'm sorry," he began, "I've got some bad news. I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off."
She looked at him for a moment in silence then replied: "Well, can you jack off, I've got a terrible headache?" -
wah sey, pro pro..
keep it comin dude, u're much better than those horny story tellers -
hahah...
good one man bro...
laugh till stomachache.
*thumbs up -
great stuff dude.
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i especially love the bee joke.
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damn good
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hey, this is a gd thread... better than those asking bo liaoz qns...
keep it coming...( no pun intended)
a little adult jokes.. juz pure humour not bo liaoz nor offensive like posting other's hp, etc... -
Dead Pussy
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common. -
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what men would do if they had a vagina for a day
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.